never been so close, yet so far away
you wait for diamonds, you wonder if you started to late
you face the monsters they keep getting inside your way
and on and on everybody tells you the same thing
and on and on you tell everybody the same thing
it takes you over, you feeling so drained
afraid and scared, your weak but strong
and you cant take it, tell yourself just go another day

im tired, far gone
i wonder, how long
it really takes
if i sing a song
was this my calling all along?
i'm overwhelmed with feelings i can't proccess
obsessed with being perfect
don't wanna look stupid
if you don't wanna look like a dumbass don't do anything at all

not smart enough for this
you told me back when i was small
every word has a consequence
feel those words when you grow tall

yes i been waiting so long, i tried everything
tried everything, everything seems to go wrong

i never focused on important shit like my music
or songs, i put myself into other ventures i spent 
months on too long.

i hate the idea.. that i wasted so much time, some
people wanna get out the rough so they resort to crime

but i did the hard thing everyday and i saw naught
a dime i got returns i ain't give a fuck about
and tons of wasted time

i just want to be a musician


im tired, far gone
i wonder, how long
it really takes
if i sing a song
was this my calling all along?
i'm overwhelmed with feelings i can't proccess
obsessed with being perfect
don't wanna look stupid
if you don't wanna look like a dumbass don't do anything at all

not smart enough for this
you told me back when i was small
every word has a consequence

im tired, far gone
i wonder, how long
it really takes
if i sing a song
was this my calling all along?
i'm overwhelmed with feelings i can't proccess
obsessed with being perfect
don't wanna look stupid
if you don't wanna look like a dumbass don't do anything at all

not smart enough for this
you told me back when i was small
every word has a consequence
feel those words when you grow tall


When I Grow Up

DISK lnetdios hfk3uicmasrin

ever since i was little boy i had a knack
for technology so let me emphasize that 
i couldn't tie my shoes but knew to work a trackpad
so i never ran but run to %appdata%
i learned shit i had no idea would change me 
pivot and youtube, dimensions of opprotunity
got lost for hours crafting my little movies 
id bring a stick figure to life in 24 fps 420p
years later macbook gave me the itch for
playing with photobooth warping inverting these pictures
making shows and skits that shit me and my kin we lived for
till i found garageband, played a note,shook up my entire fucking world

placing pretty loops
infinite fun
wicked patterns
guitars and drums
the pc's where it all began
my mama saw my mama knew
it changed that kid inside of me
i found it here and so did you
 
money is low, dad's gone, no food
and it was hard on my mom, and hard on me too
i washed myself in a bucket with water boiled
on an electric stove in the morning before i went to school
i transfered into homeschooling, unsure at what time 
i had a tower for myself and this entire world is mine
it launched a full scale assault on my motherfucking mind
and the next 7 years would shape the rest of my life
i saw everything, everything that i could
its at the tip of my fingers if i will it i would want it and i'll take it for good
it curbed the pain in my heart, but never cured it
this pain runs deeper than i thought, but i was stupid
tryna fill a void i that was unaware of
depression filled my soul like grimy moldy bathtub
my curious mind got the better of me 
when you live in disfunction you grow disfunctional enthralled by tragedy
women shitting in cups and swallow it up
or gag on a dick, drown in cum thats how grown ups have fun
and i saw two men brutally fuck eachother and my child mind couldnt comprehend anything that was going on

i didn't even wanna see it. 
ill forever regret it 
and never forget it 
always in my head
i was tangled in the spiders web
unsupervised and mama knew
raped that kid inside of me
grew up too fast and so did you

Budd Dwyer (Suicideweb)

Nah i won't play with a nigga
You gotta pay for a nigga
How tf you say you won't gimme bread
But mad i wont hop on a feature
gramps passed if you don't know
cause of that fact, money comes slow
so i made a choice, "imma make it out"
in the next bar nigga here we go.

1 week i was my own boss
i was this close, had it all.
then crash i felt my heart tear
smoke cleared, and niggas aint care
"haha scammed it was all fake"
dickhead i was eating good meals
till big business snatched up plate
finna bounce back pussy just wait  

for 1 week i was my own boss
i was this close, had it all.
then crash i felt my heart tear
smoke cleared, and niggas aint care
"haha scammed it was all fake"
dickhead i was eating good meals
till big business snatched up plate
finna bounce back pussy just wait

Chaosweb

azul



i would never sell my soul this shit aint cheap
nigga fuck this soul man fuck these beats
happiest i been is with money nigga
but i know that i can make it right?
i can make it, okay.
no, i can make it right

they tell me
got voices in my ear
that stretch me thin reinforce fear
you don't got a chance nigga its clear
you small you weak you dumb you weird
but i know that i can make it right?
i can make it, okay.
no, i can make it right

didn't ask to be born in this place
i need more money so we all can eat
what would've been the case
if born of the child of Bill Gates Bezos or Andrew Tate
most times i wonder if I'm really okay
i had that 1 breakdown
I'm back at the start like zero
no i ain't no hero
wanna be for my girl
mom, bro, sis, shit even my uncle

nigga we all do.
it hurts so bad when you try real hard
and it goes so bad and you get real mad
then you get real sad then you get in your head
then you better off dead you cant believe this shit
hide away in my basement
sometimes we all get discouraged
life throws you a curveball
remind yourself that

to fall down and hurt yourself ill tell you thats a given
as long as you get up and remember that life is without limits
most people wont get it most wont understand your vision
you were never meant to be there you were never meant to fit in

to fall down and hurt yourself ill remind you thats a given
as long as you get up and remember that life is without limits
most people wont get it most wont understand your vision
you were never meant to be there you were never meant to fit in

i would never sell my soul this shit ain't cheap
nigga fuck this soul man fuck these beats
happiest i been is with money nigga
but i know that i can make it right?
i can make it, okay.
no, i can make it right

they tell me got voices in my ear
that stretch me thin reinforce fear
you don't got a chance nigga its clear
you small you weak you dumb you weird
but i know that i can make it right?
i can make it, okay.
no, i can make it right

don't be so shy

to fall down and hurt yourself ill tell you that's a given
life is without limits.

produced by edward roane, julio alcazar
recorded by edward roane, julio alcazar
mixed by edward roane
mastered by edward roane


Chaosweb

zygoteweb

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