@46b <3 check out their music its amazing

it was forever ago, but at the same time it's all i think about
_________________________________
bare the night, i'll re-align 
the calling cries, that guard skies
i'm saying by and by, the colors lie awake
just close your eyes, pour the blacklight open

(wisp) i wanna hold rewind
please just get outta my face, you only waste my time
everything you say is hate, i do the same cant lie
but it's only cause you do, that stays the same for life
i feel useless, and it's always facts
every time i check the phone, i never text you back
instead of going through this pain, i'd have a heart attack
i hope it fades to black, i hope it fades to black

(me) so you've gotten all the gossamer, say you got a plan
but you just wanna copy her,  and i don't understand
swear i gave up and i'm fumbling for severance 
i guess i'll shut up gotta learn to accept it 
only got good luck for a couple of seconds
i'm staying tied up and i can't light the matches, yeah

blacklight ft. wisp

https://ffm.to/bleith 

cover art by noah greene https://temberl.in/

i'll be the first

pronounced "bləith, or blayeth"
_________________________________
guess it's been a long time
i don't even know
nothing left but splintered bones
and broken hope
walking down the road
we grew up on
choking on the roses 
but they're grown and gone

inhaling erosion i'm sinking i'm floating that
solemn corrosion i'll swallow the hope and i'll 
hold onto something and someone will hear the 
implosion aeolian sediments blowing away

maybe i won't miss those white halls and those silos
and your wide eyes

(do you remember me?)

all the pain went when you kissed me
but it was back when i woke up
winters always warmer when you're with me
caught a cross to call my own
in the inverted lattice beneath
i was just trying to calm you down
'cause this summer i'll be sixteen 
and i still wonder how
covered in clovers and i’m six feet
under now five leaves aren't enough
this september i’ll be leaving
throw the photos on the ground i should have known
i should have known

slipping through the cracks i'm calling it back on you
shadows shifting elisions i'm still in your arms
cosmic collisions it's crumbling falling through
scaffold splitting derisions i'm sealing the hearth

inhaling erosion i'm sinking i'm floating that
solemn corrosion i'll swallow the hope and i'll 
hold onto something and someone will hear the 
implosion aeolian sediments blowing away

one to many times i let myself slide
resin in the hide and it's hopeless
summit through the sides i thought of better ties
brethren tiled the pine on a pulpit
covered in the sines i coveted the lies
nolled up on a lyre a forfeit
lauded once or twice a strath that lead the line
straffed it to your silage and sold it

if you'd just lie awake 
i won't shear no shame

save me 
break me
save me
chain me

all the pain went when you kissed me
but it was back when i woke up
winters always warmer when you're with me
caught a cross to call my own
in the inverted lattice beneath
i was just trying to calm you down
'cause this summer i'll be sixteen 
throw the photos on the ground i should have known
i should have known

guess it's been a long time
i don't even know
nothing left but splintered bones
and broken hope
walking down the road
we grew up on
choking on the roses 
but they're grown and gone

bleith

Found this one on his second hard drive, think it was made right before summer that year. I can only assume the title is a reference to pokemon black and white? googled it and a location in the game came up. Zion was a huge fan of that franchise, never got into it much myself though except for the trading cards. This was one of the few songs i actually remember hearing him record, since normally he was too reticent to sing when we weren't out of the house

fortunately he transcribed the lyrics:

hanging your head down in places where it really shouldn't be 
getting upset over laces that ledgered in raillery 
placing your bets, drain sedating your stead while you're smiling

how happy will you get before you scream 
how happy will you get before you scream

but if i was you i'd know the words to say to say to me 
and now it's coaxing the hallowed baste, just let me grieve 
and now it's coming true, you weren't the face that i had gleaned 

hanging your head down in places where it really shouldn't be 
braiding your bed over sabots embedded in xylene

giant_chasm⍎⍕⍎⍕may2009.wav

@1kaynn

dont paint me gold if im not the one that’s gone reach for your hand
feelings get uncontrollable but girl you still understand 
yeah we still stuck all on the problems that you made me do
told you i won’t come back but here we go we start this again

oh baby you, you always take what you want 
you, you never give nothing more
want me to open up to fuck up my life and
i still don’t know im not sure

i’ll be there for you when in need of my help
oh you don’t need nothing else 
so don’t you change up on me
oh baby you, tell me you still remain the same 
got no choice i gotta break 
off of you 

(i’ll be there for you when in need of my help)
(oh you don’t need nothing else)
(so don’t you change up on me)
(oh baby you, tell me you still remain the same)
(got no choice i gotta break)
(off of you)

oh baby you, you always take what you want 
you, you never give nothing more
want me to open up to fuck up my life and
i still don’t know im not sure

i guess there’s still a part of you that’s gon bring me down
there’s still got be that part of me that’s gon be around 
oh baby can you tell me what you want out loud
trynna get a piece of my mind
but i can’t give you the time

greed (kaynn)

damn, it's been a while since i logged on here, sorry about that.

found this one digging through his old hard drive, there's a bunch of songs i want to upload from there at some point. Never even knew he made this until recently though, makes me wonder how much other music of his remained unfinished or lost.

anyway, from the lyrics i can kind of piece together the circumstances being written about here, but i think it would be better kept a personal matter. I will say that it's something me and him both had to deal with, and it was probably significantly harder on him. That kid went through an amount of hardship that would break most people.

come to think of it 2011 was just a bad year in general for us. Mom was really struggling to make ends meet, dad's health was getting worse, and we'd basically been forced to sell the couple acres that our grandpa gave us in his will. Good news though was our older sister had moved back from out of state, so she was supporting us in any way she could.

Zion had also lost a close friend that year unfortunately. Everyone had said it was a vehicle accident, but i learned later he'd been fucking around with inhalants, and that was that. Can't even imagine how hard it must've been on his parents. Sadder part is it wasn't even that uncommon, around that area at least. Even the most unassuming blue collar neighborhoods can be hiding really deplorable shit. I do hope that wherever Zion is now though, he has better friends. Because he deserved them.

i saw a seraph on the street today. he was laughing and crying, cause nobody knew his name

i saw the devil on the promenade. bundled in flagstone, writing checks that I can’t pay

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

carriage, brim your bones

i saw my father on the news today. he was tracing his prayer beads, as the red and blue took him away

bevel the whipsaw for the cavalcade. I’m eating your bullets, with a spoon made out of clay

and I am a lamb wrapped up in thermogen. shear off all the stope you take

keep her there, failing throne

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

i know you're starting to get scared of me
the more i try, the worse it gets
and i can't stand the way they stare at me
but i'll try to live with my regrets

flagstone𐂂𐂂𐂂nov2010.wav

prod me 

lost project file 


running from my thoughts and my habits
think that i’m abt to drown not a baptist
no i’m not good at acting
i’m barley good at laughing
yeah i’m running from the girl in the corner
see me see u it’s torture
you ask me what i mourn for
it all got blurred out
i need some tape for my tongue
and a knife for my eyes
i can’t trust my lungs
sure as hell not my mind
oh i lie
all the time all the time
i’m not helping anybody
doing something i don’t want to do
what the fuck i want to prove to you
i keep making promises
when i can barley bring myself to move
wonder why i’m being used
sat there in the driveway
i spilled my damn brain
making up a lie so i could love myself
i was hoping that it’d all change
but it didn’t
i’m all there there really is here to blame

so i could love myself

8/27/24 
i been singing love songs 
please do not sing along 
you don't know me like that
if you put a bitch on 
imma still listen long
if the track going hard
i'm at a loss cause 
i lost my purpose 
in all of this shit 
you think i'm worthless 
don't think you're wrong 
that's something i'll admit 
still got your songs on my playlist
mutually hated 
i can't find one thing that we agree on
i don't care if the song is special 
to me or to you 
or your friends
it's not clear to me 
try not to scroll through 
some bullshit that'll make me unhappy




i'll admit

colortheory

prod me and https://soundcloud.com/danaelco

three days from saturday
this is more than i can manage
i got blood inside my bandage
from all the times i tried so hard
bitch oh my god
i crashed my car
woke up so early to hit a rock
i did the right or so i thought
i thought i had this i did not
i’m so sorry that i disappointed you
i don’t mean to be a bother
know things hurt but i hurt too
and there’s no room for my shit
don’t care about that you care about this
and when i talk you want me to quit
say jack about smoke till i breathe in
i don't want to restart 
go somewhere else 
why they always gotta give me hell
i haven't even smoked in a month 
and now i gotta deal with this shit
how i'm supposed to deal with this shit
how i'm supposed to deal with your shit 
how i'm supposed to get the bands quick
girly suck it up like nesquik

so i could love myself

ginn