Fandom: Kiki's Delivery Service
Character for Round 1: Jiji the cat

Clear the air
I’m coming with long tail
Can’t you see my contrail
Through the violet sky
I’m here I’m there
I’m faster than a comet
Call me and I’m on it
If it’s rain or shine
And the honeys are all buzzin
And they phone me by the dozen
Sayin come around to my place soon
Cuz I’m the best that you can get an’
If you’re into heavy pettin
You can bet that I’ll be gettin on my broom, on my broom

Call Jiji’s delivery service 
Call Jiji’s delivery service 
Jiji’s delivery service 
I'm comin to you

Reach out
I got the right equipment
For bringing you a shipment
Like a magic spell
I'm free now
I’m flying like a tomcat
And you know I’m pouncing on that
You never had it this well
Cuz I’m rakin in the riches
And I’m catchin all the witches
Gonna make the best of all nine lives
And you know that I’m a giver
You just call and I’ll deliver
Honey look up in the sky you’ll wonder how time flies

Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (ya know what we do)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
I’m comin to you

You don’t need any other
You can take me home to mother
And she’ll say that I’m a real sweet pet
So say goodbye to those guys
Straighter than the crow flies
Ready and I’m set, and you ain’t seen nothing yet

Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Jiji’s delivery service (ya know what we do)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Jiji’s delivery service (Same-day air)
Jiji’s delivery service (I’ll be right there)
Jiji’s delivery service (Yeah I’ll be right there)
Jiji’s delivery service
I’m comin to you

VPC 7 Round 1

Sleater-Kitty [MC117, Klopfenpop] - Jiji's Delivery Service

Fandom: Disenchantment
Character: Dagmar

All the lives that you took and the friends that you’d lose (repeat)

Oh Bean, my drunk dueling darling  
From a terror of a toddler   a Dreamland Starling
With an elf and a darkling, while I’m held like a carving
I can tell that our parting,  like Adele left you starving

For love, just searching for someone like you
Hello, of course it’s your mother you choose
All the lives you took and the friends you lose
And the lies mistook and loose ends confused

Dagmar is here for you, Dreamland or In Maru
A Queen and her kin of two, three, last a tad askew
Please ask the question few, brief task we ask of you
Wear this and keep a truce, dress and a hat with screws

Well it’s more of a crown
You hated being royalty but debts are inbound
Betraying deepest Loyalty is thread in our gowns
So gussy up or go below to meet your friend aground

Meet me in your dreams dear
-Not a Matron more a Matriarch
I’m lurking around
-No mistaking me for fainting lark
There’s nothing for you here
-Shaking Sheep when they hear my snarl
Meet me underground
-Quaking beats in that stubborn heart


Trajectory Euclidian, when I arrive, Oblivian
The king would cry ascidian, and rebound with amphibian
Queen? No, seems a bit more Floridian
Glad that scurvy salamander is off  to prime meridian

Was a prize at nineteen, no buck-teeth daughter
Shoulda listened to Selene, hide your fucking father
If he had only sipped the cup, I’d reach the unachievable
But with a child’s joke, it was mine to choke, inconceivable

The murderess of merkimer, if cursed or blessed you sure differ 
A turning guess to nurturer, so learn-ed best this purjerer
That this recess from burning her, might find you less concerned and sure
I am impressed but please demure, a future test will lurk further along

And drive you mad with a twinkling song
Like your father’s mind, honking and gone 
Fires burning for you and your throng
Guess I’ll save you for now, you belong

To me…


Meet me in your dreams dear
-Not a Matron more a Matriarch
I’m lurking around
-No mistaking me for fainting lark
There’s nothing for you here
-Shaking Sheep when they hear my snarl
Meet me underground
-Quaking beats in that stubborn heart

X2

Perstrami Persona [Steve Perry, Zilla Persona] - Mother Knows Best

Fandom - Avatar The Last Airbender
Character - The Cabbage Merchant

These other venders so useless 
I’m here producing produceses
My acumen so conducive
To victory so conclusive I

Got leafy green and I’m coming for your coins
Believe me green beans got nothing on the joy
You know what I mean I draw a crowd it’s time to join
Unless of course my cart winds up gettin destroyed

Green and now red, Napa, and savory
My new line is so fine and it’s on display to see
I think I finally escaped these kids’ chicanery 
It’s just these setbacks that keep on restraining me

Water earth air and fire man I got em all
I assure you it’s fire even if you eat it raw
I got the produce you need for cut coleslaw
I just hope that my stall don’t get forestalled

My cabbage rolls like babish 
I keep screaming these classless 
bastards keep crashing my passage. 
It’s tragic my cabbages!


I am the Cabbage king
This is my coronation
Let stand and sing
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation 
Put your heads up


Now here I go again
I’m on a cabbage roll again
There’s no defense your sold I sell
So well you know it’s time to spend

All your cash on the cabbage that I vends
Got my stock locked I’m collecting dividends
Proto-agriculture come correct it never ends
Supply infrastructure I keep ya’ll forever fed

Night after night I’m rebuilding wagons
Customs officers man they’re never understanding
So again I’m sawing and again I’m sanding
I know I’ll stick the landing business always expanding

Don’t count the cabbage man out
I’ll keep coming back there’s no doubt
My path gets smashed I will reroute
Build a myself cabbage redoubt

Restaurant my new spot try the cabbage cookies
I’ve been around the block I’m no cabbage rookie.
My Cabbage Delicacy bistro
My Cabbage baby in vitro
My Cabbage has no equal
Cabbage to the people!


I am the cabbage king
This my coronation
Let us stand and sing
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation 
Put your heads up
Put your heads up
Welcome to cabbage nation
Put your heads up
Put your heads up
My time will come Just be patient and relax
Everything will change when cabbage naysh attacks

Obvious Corruption [Obvious Lee, Cosmic Ray Corruption] - Avatar The Last Cabbage Vendor

Fandom: Steven Universe
Character: Spinel

playtime is a song written from the perspective of the character Spinel from Steven Universe the Movie, who in the film is brought to a place of anger from her feelings of abandonment and decides to take out her pain on those who the person she thought loved her had chosen instead.

----


That's right, I'm not the one to love
And but a fool to dream
That's right, I'm not the one to love 
My solo losing team
That's right, I'm not the one to love
Some plaything you don't need
Implied that I was good enough
but that wasn't what you'd mean

--

That's right, my Rose has thorns to spare
Chose from those who'd care, I didn't make the cut
Bright light's supposed to burn, so fair
Goes to show we shared unbidden cravings

But it's like time spent with gems depends
On whims and ends that tend to shift and bend for some
She'd lied but I played pretend because
(I thought we were best friends)

Such a clod to trust and want you
Ushered on through signs of threats
Hence rushed and got too much involved
You'd once upon new times for deference

Burned not read, deferred to death
While blurred intent left much distress
I learned instead, then heard he'd said 
(I love my friends)

--

That's right, I'm not the one to love 
And but a fool to dream
That's right, I'm not the one to love 
My solo losing team
That's right, I'm not the one to love
Some plaything you don't need
Implied that I was good enough
but that wasn't what you'd mean

--

I don't wanna play no more, forewarning
Know every available port is storming
Time to come and take what's yours
Performing hostilities for culpabilities you're ignoring

But I was so adorable, right? Your darling
Now I'm such horrible sight and starving
How durable is your world to blight? It's starting
Deplorable basket case not asking to bargain

Beg your pardon but the loneliest of stones hit the dark
In the garden where the only thing we'd grow is apart
Now I've hardened far too slowly, only known for the sharp bits
For audience of one heartless narcissist in charge

You're not her but hide behind a target shaped grin
You've prospered, denying me the cross I've beared since
Imposter! I've lost all so you could just exist?
Your roster's soon crossed off my to do justice list

--

That's right, I'm not the one to love 
Harm or be harmed it seems
That's right, I'm not the one to love 
Your turn to lose some things
That's right, I'm not the one to love
Now playtime's over, see?
Feels like now I'm not good at all
And I'm gonna watch you bleed

ExtraDial [Damn Selene, lizardgrove] - playtime

Fandom - Adventure time
Character- BMO

Lyrics

Intro – Narrator: This little living computer game system is BMO. My information doesn’t 
seem to say wether they are a he, or a she, just BMO. Oh well. 

BMO: Who wants to play Video GAMES?!?! Check it out Ya’ll.

CHORUS

When it gets hard to fight
there's nothing left to fear
They'll never turn out my light
I'll always be right here

VERSE

Well I'm,
Usually confusedly miss-gendered as a dude you see
Oops a Dees-y seems he's a she
She, snoozily approves being believed to be a summary of these;
Male female and a dissociative identity

Attendency is rendering me mentally free
to achieve my dreams and schemes
and to be the side kick I'm meant to be

Shit sent from me directly behind
A human centipede extensively entering blind
on some adventure time

CHORUS

When it gets hard to fight
there's nothing left to fear
They'll never turn out my light
I'll always be right here


Resigned and inclined 
I’ll find time to unwind
I'm designed to align your dexterity and your grind

It's a synch in a pinch 
You glimpse and make it simp for a 
Hit of the shit on my circuitry unit
working these movements

I'm a tag along sang a song bang a gong vagabond 
hanging on to every last wrong
and it makes me strong

Power on for the people, not Jesus, Not evil

Im BMO no EGO no Gender No equal

BRIDGE

I'm not broken robot
Just need a technician with a soft spot

Whatever comes next
We'll be together on a mission an adventure

We will fight for us
With everything we can never gonna give up

Thank you for my strength
And making me as strong as I was meant to be

CHORUS ABRIDGED

When it gets hard to fight
Just need a technician with a soft spot

There's nothing left to fear
We’ll be together on a mission an adventure

They'll never turn out my light
With everything we can never gonna give up

I'll always be right here

BMO: I Love you too, Goodbye!

1up Funk [Bobby Arsen, Hook Shot] - Be More

Play Sullivan Family Values - the playable RPG to go with this track at https://yngsllvn.com

Measure up -- not enough
Ruin everything I touch
heart is ash, blood is dust
Every beat a cover up
I got debt to settle up
Medical, vendettical
Throw me on the bonfire:
Skeptical heretical
Every time I level up
I put it on that rogue shit:
Double talk, weaponry
Knowledges, lockpicks
Every bar is bouta to hit
Like bitter mana potions
You can catch these hands
Like I'm throwin out explosives
I'm caustic, I'm basic
I'm awesome, I ain't shit
I fucked most my life up
And I can't escape it
No skills, depravèd
Degenerate wasted
Chasin off payments


AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
to your mama
to your sister 
to your father 
To your friends and to your daughter
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To your doctor 
to your preacher 
to your toddler
And to your boss and to your dog
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
to the neighbor 
Who maintains he fuckin hates ya
To your teacher gradin papers yo
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To the senators who say they represent you
But their morals are for rent well
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS


Ketamine coma in the classroom
Y'all aghast, and I'm like:
Did I fuckin ask you?
Y'all the same fools 
who'd throw me in the trash
Cause I ain't go no degree and 
I refuse to kiss your ass
I'm done with the pretension
That I fuck with your pretension
You can crawl up in my mentions
Bawlin sobbin so upset and
I'll be sippin on Electric Kool
This the acid test
Contemplate my next move
This a game of chess
What's the point of buildin up
When the waters set to rise
And the minters of the money
Got their bunkers prepped to hide
That's a problem for the future
I got problems right now
I can solve em cuz
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS


to your mama
to your sister 
to your father 
To your friends and to your daughter
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To your doctor 
to your preacher 
to your toddler
And to your boss and to your dog
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To the PTA, the HOA, the NSA
The IRA and Dave Coulier
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS
To every person in your shitty little town
They're coppin on the lowdown
AT LEAST WE CAN SELL DRUGS

VPC 7 Round 2

YNG SLLVN [LLYZZ, YNGSLLVN] - At Least

Genre - Role Playing Game!
Screen - The Final Encounter!
Vocalist - Doubletime! [ Zolt Energy Serum ]
Producer - NO SNARES! [ The Bear Hammock 29-F; 0 innovated and pitched down a timbale hit, which was then heavily EQ'd; followed by a layer of distortion! ]

SKILL CHECK! Screams of an Angel's Unwritten Destiny!
By The Storytellers [The Paladxn, 0]


Cutscene 

[laughter]
Four freestyle rap heroes, called forth to embrace arcane dangers in a world not their own, at last face off against an eldritch abomination before their way home closes for good… Wait a second, is this game real?!


Verse 1

Right I wanna get it Underway, 
Multiplayer Gameplay Isekai Anime Roleplay,
Storydriven, live a little - hidden in the code, hey,
What’s a little AI when you’re in the know, eh?
5th player GM, now in the mem’ray
Tabulating scores with the lightning in the core
Game used to be a Tabletop, now it’s on a PC
Freestyle Rap D&D, that Steam Heat
Breeze past details, straight into the action,
Got new players into rap with a passion
Blast through con after con interaction
Formed new family to fight with, faction
Bicker in the group, entertaining, an attraction
MIC made of magic when a demon wanna cash in
FIGHT with the power from the Spectral Realm
Rap well: it’s only you, ‘gainst the powers of Hell!


Chorus 1

CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
THERE’S MAGIC IN THE MIC
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
FREESTYLE TO SURVIVE
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE


Verse 2

Now that you know what the Game is, watch as the Fates flip
Upside down to believe it; seen with incredulous eye
As every rap in the mind
Becomes a reason that your crew still breathing
Use an at-home mic, 
And watch an enemy life
Be taken down like the bars you full of,
You scream and you laugh as you snatch the wool off
Each Bardic (every well-timed hook) you pull off,
All you've done in the campaign to date
They on the run, why they old false gods awaked
We wouldn't let em have their way with the plane, we stayed,
And that's the difference between time that you find and make
But as a skyscraper sized wooden demon delivered,
Every sizzling sinner's nightmare they had in a pillory
We nipped the sitch and the stitching pretty, desynchronizing his milly
Synergy higher than ever Amp Check and bam we're in bizzy


Chorus 2

CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
THERE’S MAGIC IN THE MIC
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
FREESTYLE TO SURVIVE
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
[laughter]


Solo                
 

Chorus 3

CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
THERE’S MAGIC IN THE MIC
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
FREESTYLE TO SURVIVE
CHECK! YOUR! SKILL!
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE
YOUR RAPS’LL COME TO LIFE

[NOTE: The CUTSCENE, as a creative choice, has been married in form to the looping challenge; 15+ seconds in length.]

The Storytellers [The Paladxn, 0] - SKILL CHECK! Screams of an Angel's Unwritten Destiny!

Häagen Dûdz - The Jam Zone

Drums samples from The Winston's - Amen, Brother

"Synths" are animal sounds. Bullfrogs, porcupines, beavers, swallows, & sparrows

[Intro]
Warning, you are now approaching a designated jam zone, please present identification. Very good, you may now proceed to dance!

[Verse 1]
Mercury Venus Earth and Mars
Are all designated jam zone so far
In the sea of stars, Earth is an island
This island Earth
Limit all your dancing to jam zone principality
Under consequence of cosmic criminality
Come on and slam, welcome to the jam
Welcome to the jam zone

[Chorus]
Limit all your dancing to the jam zone please
The jam zone please, the jam zone please Limit all your dancing to the jam zone please
The jam zone please, the jam zone please

[Verse 2]
Mercury Venus Earth and Mars
Are all designated jam zone so far
Your planet is property of cosmic coalition
Prepare to be inducted into jam zone tradition
Pluto is still a planet, but
If you don't want it we will take it for jam zone
Jam zone swag

[Chorus]
Welcome to the jam zone
Limit all your dancing to the jam zone please
The jam zone please, the jam zone please
Limit all your dancing to the jam zone please
The jam zone please, the jam zone please

[Outro]
DJ Lemon Pepper has a PHd in swag

VPC 7 Round 3

Häagen Dûdz [Johnny Salt, DJ Lemon Pepper] - The Jam Zone

Blockbuster rewind, VCR...prime...
tapes aligned on the shelf, snacks near the blinds, 
Behind, my dad with the membership stand in line, 
For the game I wanted to find, time around 8 or 9 
What I, embedded with, having a Sega Genesis, messages in my head, 
If I knew the time I invested in, question, if I wanted a side stroller or something to learn a lesson in, got the X-men, the rage quits worth mentioning

Word to the clerk, ...only for 2 days 
If you roll in after the 3rd the account fees will raise, 
higher than the lands appraised if it keeps acquiring at your age
Phone calls to the house, parents...enraged so...

Got home and started playing like a champ…
But forgot the next day I start to leave for summer camp, And that, for 6 weeks,
Much more than 2 days, 
The store now making calls, voicemails press-n-played…so…

**dastardly turntable glitch**
To persuade my dad return the game, but he forgot so the game case would lay, 
I come back and look with such a confusion, 
The game still there, no callers in the ID for solution…

Come to find out to the story there lies more, they tore down the plaza, and they had to close the store, rode past the lot and it really struck a chord, 
Cause I still got the rental and now I…34

-Hook-
Once in while it comes to my mind for the things that I went through, 
And then I wish that I could go back, and wish that everything would be brand new but…

i.o.u., i.o.u. Blockbuster, i.o.u. x2 

-End-

Fireproof [Mark Cooper, Prowess The Testament] - i.o.u.

Know Shoes, Know Served (NoShoes Diss)

A Quick Nerdy jam from the boys. Part of our running content series Funk Bars, in which Hook Shot whips up a beat, and Arson spits some fire bars.

1up Funk - Funk Bars World 3 - 2 - Without The Algorithm

1up Funk, Nerdy Swag Wizards, 2 lyricists, Hook Shot and Bobby Arson. Hooky's on the beats, and Arson's on the cuts. Jazzy, Funky, Synth Heavy Nerdcore,  from the West Coast of Canada.