(“Welcome to Taco Bell can I take your order?
Yeah lemme getta double tostada, three beef tacos two beef burritos extra beef anna side of beef
what kinda sauce do you want sir?
Uh, all of them?
Anything else?
Yeah a triple ultra mega cup of Mountain Dew Baja Blast
Your total is 8.25 enjoy
..Wait a minute”)

He forgot my fucking sauce!!!
I want my fucking sauce!!!
You forgot my goddamn sauce!!!
I wanna see your fucking boss!!!

I was sitting in the car with my Crunchwrap-Supreme
Verde sauce on my lips, having a wet dream
The sun disappeared as clouds fill the skies, 
Your shadowed face appears with your demon eyes,

Could it be?
Are you there?
Diablo sauce
Fills the air…

You sold your soul to the devil when you made that order,
Now he’s gonna get his way and its gonna be torture,

You’ll be droppin deuces hotter than cluster bombs
They go BOOM, BOOM, BOOM,
Just like Vietnam,

You gazed at me with you evil laugh and said,
“I’m gonna Mountain Dew Baja Blast your ass, bitch!”

Count your hours count your minutes, your little clock is ticking, 
Count your hours count your minutes, your little clock is
tick, tick tick tick… shhh…

(“Mountain Dew Baja ready to Blast in 5… 4… 3… 2…”)

Welcome to
TACO HELL

Welcome to
TACO HELL

Welcome to
TACO HELL

Welcome to
TACO HIEL!

Fuck me
What did I eeeeeeat?!
35 PERCENT Beeeeeeef?!
Oh, my, fucking, EEEEAAAAA

Is your heart still beating?
Is your nose still bleeding?
Has your life lost all meaning to the sound of your screaming,
Does every moment feel like a never ending grieving?
Are you tired of this pleading?
Do you want to stop feeling?

I fell for your lies,
And now you’re my demise,
You don’t wanna gratify,
You just agonize—

You agonize,
You terrorize,
You demonize
The body that I prize

Now you’ve taken me down,
You’ve brought me to my knees,
I’ve succumbed to the wickedness
Of your nacho cheese!

Blegh?

You felt so good, your taste on my lips
Going down, down, down, after every sip
But the very next morning, sitting on my hips
In the bathroom, you’ve caused a shit-apocalypse

And my ass is on fire, fire, fire,
My ass is on fire, fire, fire!

It’s the final stretch and I’m still alive,
I took a beating to the ass and I’m still alive,
Motherfuckers can’t stop me, bitch I’m still alive
Just one more push an I’m-

AAAAAAAAAAH

Help mee,
I’m begging you pleasee,
Make it stop pretty pleaseee,

(“Welcome to Taco Hell, where the air is fear and the water is tears,
everything you touch turns to 35% beef and your blood is Diablo sauce,
would you like to try our churros?”)

Mountain Dew Baja Blast My A**

Hey dad, how do I be metal like you?
 Woke up at noon, pissed in a can,
Then buttchugged vodka with my Great Gram Gram,
Blacked out on whiskey, covered in tats,
Woke up metal and pet my cat!

I break my own bones just to hear them crack,
Spit on a cop to get my microphone back,
Got my ribs removed so I could lick my ballsack,
Then gave the IRS an anxiety attack!

Metal as fuck it’s the way we live,
Blood, sweat, and cats, it’s all we give,
Screaming loud, ripping bibles apart,
Metal as fuck, take a shit at Walmart!

Ripping the strings like they're a sinner's soul,
Chugging Jack and swallow yours whole.
What’s metal as fuck? Let’s break it down,
Here’s a list we’ll go down, then we’ll do a breakdown!

Punched a cow!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Torched a Toyota!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Saved a cat from a fire!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Learned German!
— That’s metal as fuck! 
Ate nails for breakfast!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Without any milk!
— That’s metal as fuck! 
Crashed the economy!
— That’s metal as fuck!
Met a guy from Bosnia
— That’s metal as fuck!
Covered my dick in hot sauce
— That’s metal as fuck!
Put pineapple on pizza
— That’s stupid as fuck!
Cooked crack
— That’s metal as fuck!
Touched some tits
— That, that, that’s metal as fuck!
Then I touched a dude’s dick
— That’s metal as fuck!
Read a book
— no, man, that’s not metal, that’s actually kinda lame. 
Then I burn the book!
— Oh that’s metal as fuck!
And then I pet a cat!
— That’s metal as fuck!

Metal as fuck it’s the way we live,
Blood, sweat, and cats, it’s all we give,
Screaming loud, punching holes in fine art, 
Metal as fuck, like Napoleon Bonaparte!

“Wait wait wait! We forgot to do the breakdown.”
“Oh right, uh, uhm okay, fuck it let’s just—“

Aaaaaa!
Aaaaaaaa!
Aaaaaaaaaaa!!

That’s metal as fuck!
Aaaaaaaa!
Get metal as fuck!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Buy a cat!
Aaaaaaaaaaa!
Have sex in a garbage truck!

 What’s metal as fuck? You wanna know?
I trained my cat how to shoot a crossbow
I headbanged so hard I dislocated my spine,
When I woke up from my coma I said it’s party time!

Party time
Metal sign
This divine
Bloodline
No sunshine,
No weak wine
No life line
No traffic sign
Economy class American Airlines
Moonshine
Lichenstein
Cyanide
Frankenstein
Amplified
Crucified
Declassified
Burger king with coleslaw on the side
Earthquake fault line
Interior design
Crosseyed
Cockeyed
Backside
Blindside, blindside
Liquified
Tomatoes with insecticide
You got the point let’s pet a cat!

I pet a cat!
That’s metal as fuck!
I jumped off a cliff!
That’s metal as fuck! 
I did a keg stand at my grandma’s wake!
That’s metal as fuck!
Then stole her car and drove it into a lake!
That’s metal as fuck!

That’s metal as fuck, fuck, fuck!
Find me tree to fuck, fuck, fuck!
Cause I love nature, flowers, and ducks!
And my indoor cat, who’s metal as fuck!
Metal, as fuck!

That’s metal as fuck!
That’s metal as fuck, fuck, fuck!
Find me tree to fuck, fuck, fuck!
Cause I love nature, flowers, and ducks!
And my indoor cat, who’s metal as fuck!
Metal-as-fuck!

Mountain Dew Baja Blast My A**

2 Guys, 1 Chainsaw

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