prod. sai x poonda

inna stalemate innit
nothing to do
keep a nonchalant attitude and move on

why you act so big?
please stop it
ima bash my head into a fucking wall
if im honest
so dont act like you care
ill be out your hair
ik life isnt fair
all these feelings i bare
yuh run it up! run it up!
i got bitches showin luv!
ive been smoking on that crack
cuz i rlly couldnt give a fuck
running up a bag
im in my bag now!
i just cant relax
she told me calm down
in my fuckin head
i just been thinkin
got way too much shit on my mind
ur not helping

what happened?
you did a lot of damage
ive been trying really fucking hard to understand it
got luv for my momma
got luv for my papa
they told me im selfish
but i dont want drama
its been getting rlly hard
of late
wash away
tears strolling down
my fuckin face

nothing that i do gon make a change
ima run it up run it up
but it all just feels the same
ima wake up wake up
do it all over again
i cant deal with all the blood on my hands

i keep tappin on my phone
this shit wont leave me lone
think im bout to fall apart
i cant do it on my own
im screaming
im shouting
can anybody hear me?
i dont have a choice
all ur words were decieving

wtf is going on

i'm scared
i'm scared
i'm scared
oh i'm scared
you left me in the dark and now i'm lost
i thought you were the answer, i was wrong
cause everytime i see you my heart grows numb
it's not fair that i can't feel your fucking love
it's a shame cause you're gone in a couple months
wish i could say that the news really fucked me up
but i'm sat here with my hands in pockets
i don't know where i lost it
i don't like thinking cause my thinking makes me nauseous
so i'm sorry
i'm sorry

sorry

cover of i love you 3000 by stephanie poetri

the lyrics is not based on real events its just the song
after careful consideration i have realized i don't like this anymore.

3000

i don't feel bad for the way that i act
why would i?
can't help but feel stupid
my dumb lies
pick up then move it
i can't feel it but i'm right here
did it all for a dumb ear
lost all my options i tried but i can't hear
been like so long give a hand dear

how long you gonna keep it up?
i fucking hate you
depise you
he could do anything you want better than i do
a fucking nuisance
i don't know if i could do this

i'll make you leave town
ain't nobody around
i'll make sure you're proud
it's all i think about

dumb ear

i failed
oh darling
was your head in my hands not enough
pace my room for a couple bucks
i felt down for a couple months
did it all for a dumb ear
tell me theres no love left here
all the eyes disappoint
id rather die in this joint

pace

happy valentine's day

if i could change our lives and make it all alright i would
my heart's been chained, you're tied, i didn't mean to come off rude
i'll plant myself inside this home
i'll fuck your life up, give you hope
my lies are set in fucking stone
open your eyes, i'll cut the rope
i'll grab your hand, we'll get eloped
my heart beat faster when you spoke
a perfect life oh what a joke
a perfect life i wish i chose
i hope you choke
i'm bleeding faster, my skins soaked
i fed you lies
i know i know
you want to die
but soon you won't

a perfect life

made april 17th, 2021

i can't fathom the things that you said
i wouldn't do it if i didn't have to
you think i'm better off dead
fuck all your friends man i didn't need you
man all of you see-through
man i cannot believe you
through all our differences man i saw you grow
finding your place and finding your damn home
i catch it then fumble the bag
i wish i was wise like my dad
i did before man i'll do it again
but this time i ain't confident
i ain't be doing this if i ain't had to
aching inside of me i'm on my last screw
no matter what happens i'll be here
increasingly hard this time of year

words (april 17th, 2021)

prod. chrxme

funny rap song back to regularly scheduled programming after

bitch i be countin my w's
1 6 to the 1 7, 1 7 to the 1 6
new year n they on dick
can't gaf about a bitch
stack it up get getting rich
old bitch nev neva miss
been great ev eva since :)
i stack it up w my bronem <333
we crackin his shit open like issa soda
down on my luck gotta make the quota
look at pockets n dey empty
now they fuckin w M E
dont care no care
in the god damn wrld
i hit up roah n he give me the wrd
we get what we earn

onna real note did a lot 
but i aint done nothing at all
a couple ppl set on watchin me fall
but i showed them <3
don't got no opps they fallin in luv
i gave em the plot, they took it and ran
im jus doin my dance (livin my life for me)
yh ride around spendin that cash
like its all that i have
i don't understand why you are mad
you comin in last?
i'm grateful for everyone round me (for real you guys rock)
i'll die for my bros i'll say tht shit proudly :')
when i'm down at my worst ik y'all got me
i love you to death y'all are hotties (LMFAO IDK WHAT 2 RHYME)

bitch i be countin my w's
1 6 to the 1 7, 1 7 to the 1 6
new year n they on dick
can't gaf about a bitch
stack it up get getting rich
old bitch nev neva miss
been great ev eva since :)
i stack it up w my bronem <333
we crackin his shit open like issa soda
down on my luck gotta make the quota
look at pockets n dey empty
now they fuckin w M E
dont care no care
in the god damn wrld
i hit up roah n he give me the wrd
we get what we earn

seventeen

i don't wanna hurt you
oh do you
do you think i've hurt you
or should i lie on the ground like i'm supposed to
no i never wanna hurt you
take a breath white lies fill up your lungs
i'd rather give it up this time
you lied
throw it like a dud
i don't remember much
you said a couple words
my face thrown in the dirt
i thought it wouldn't hurt

dirt

cover of peace and love on the planet earth from steven universe

guitar bad because i recorded it

recorded literally a year ago

peace and love

and if it all was up to me, i'd make things right

pupils

voice so congested and i couldnt hit the highs so they radio
ill prolly take down later this is not good
ariesfan2006
butterscotch looking like my brown skin
shoutout all my people

ditto by aries

ditto cover

made back in october

it's always so exhausting,
autumn leaves have fallen
i should've never folded, i know
but all my love has fallen
i can't negate this harming
and i'll repent for all that i owe

autumn leaves

p sai
made this about a year ago (june or may 2022)
for all the keshi boba #06 demons

i j wna see you fuckin smile
actin hard
but for what?
like my god
i would rather do it with my mind off
nose a lil runny with a slight cough
i'ma do it all
jus for u
i'll be right back
facing all the leaves
thought i was walkin w a thumbtack
tbh i dont care bout where my minds at
if you're good then i'll be fine don't need to fight back
you're breaking my peace
culd you j tell me what you need?
i don't want to make a scene no more
i tried
i can see it thru your eyes
when you lie
culd you stop tht?
i don't rlly like it when you're like tht
guess it's my bad
gotta hole in my heart with no time back

smile

i forgot who prod

overdose on medicine
could you teach me how to feel
i dunno what's real
could you teach me how to feel right
i'mma give it one try
eat well, sleep fine
you don't gotta die yet
newspaper on my desk
i don't have a mind left
black suit n a white dress
i can't get that time back
can't even look a person in the eyes man
i promise i'm sorry cos it was my bad

medicine

produced by roku
with @heyzeph
cover courtesy of starcat28
this song well over a year old

lyrics - 
[spoder]
this weight all on my shoulders
don't bat your eye
just a second of your time
"don't break these habits"
i know
you've strucken
some gold
like how would i know?
like how would i
grow
dont walk around like you're the star of the show
you've fallen
deep
hoping nobody knows

[zephyr]
And you
Got way too many bad habits
Can’t take this stress, girl this damage
Got me drinking till I pass out
If only you knew the slut that you are
My bad I ain’t mean it I took it too far
But damn all this fussin’ really got me in the fuckin mood

I’m like woah, baby where u tryna go
I could put you on a jet or I could put you on a boat
We got way too much in common to be sitting all alone
Got a man I got a girl but baby they don’t gotta know
You know damn well it’s something bout ya body that’s got me fantasizing about bein wit you

[spoder]
stop if you see the green light better go now
shoot if you shoot it too high itll fall down
life tell me whats life like when you're strung out
knife tell me whats that like when you bleed out
had a couple frens but they lost it
drama queen always love to gossip
watch it fall empty all my pockets
face down bby done w all the harming

chorus

spoder - bruise

angel cover

not a fan of confrontation
you're so overrated
spent the couple dollars that i had on medication
ma told me i'd be fine as long i stuck to all the pages
oh i'll find my way
alone
i'll run through like every province to find somewhere like home
not a dollar in my pocket and my shoes too small for feet
had my brothers all worried, told them i'd be fine next week
not a fan of confrontation
you're so overrated
spent the couple dollars that i had on medication
ma told me i'd be fine as long i stuck to all the pages
last june i had a dream and i don't think i've been the same since
p me

pages

you haven't felt this way so baby oh what's the big deal
dijon inspo

rest on a cold stone
two stories down from my old room
this sad little window

i didn't mean to scare you
i'll hold you i don't mean to scold you
didn't mean to scare you
i can't even find the words
"you make me life so much worse" i know
tell me, what're you ashamed of?
better speak up

you cannot heal
you haven't felt this way
so baby oh what's the big deal
i stare at your blank expression
said i've had a hell of a day
i've had a hell of a day
i've had a hell of a day

yearning for something complacent i had it all wrong
the summer sun changes to autumn thats where i belong
i didn't mean to scare you
i didn't mean to scare you
tell me, what're you ashamed of
better speak up

you cannot heal
you haven't felt this way
so baby oh what's the big deal
i stare at your blank expression
said i've had a hell of a day
i've had a hell of a day
i've had a hell of a day

hell of a day

i've lost it
no passion i'm exhausted
no rest i swear i'm worse than you
it's bad in the fall, get farther from god
mother i've grown so distant
condolence for the way i'm living
spoke too many lies
i'll pack all my bags and i'll move out tonight
but i gave it a try
spoke too many lies
i'll pack all my bags and i'll move out tonight
the strongest of hues are impaling your eyes
although i'm not perfect i gave it a try
i gave it a try
gave it a
i've lost it
no passion i'm exhausted
no rest i swear i'm worse than you
it's bad in the fall, get farther from god
mother i've grown so distant
mother i've grown so distant
mother i've grown so distant
it's bad in the fall, get farther from god

distance

white ferrari

one last life
one more try
one last breath
one more cry
is this what love sounds like
show me what love looks like
i ripped out the pages
i lied i threw up
oh the truth, i can't face it
I'll be emanciated
act like i don't recall
what you said about it all
think I'll rest before you call

phone call

give it a month or two, i’ll break my shoes in
cross my hands, it’s so confusing
just tell me how to do it right
just tell me how to do it
don’t you act like i’m clueless
in a month i’ll be cooling
gotta get it for my brothers cause my brothers show me love
you put my head inside the dirt uhh
tell them that i’ll die for them
got me wishing on the stars on them
it’s in my best interest you’re safe and not crying
say hi to my momma, don’t know that i’m fighting
should’ve texted you back, didn’t have the words to reply and
i’m stuck up on things i should’ve forgot like years ago
it’s fuck it though

months

not a reflection of my thoughts now, this was made in september

gave a pretty girl my heart and now it's on the floor
tell me why i lay awake praying you'd would text me on my phone
i swear to god i'll wake up bleeding from a wound i don't remember
eating less from two months back because it's getting closer to december
don't tell ma that it's a problem cause i got it on my own
on my own meaning i lay back on my pillow let it soak
if i had some sorta control, i'd croak a smile so you're happy
did my best for all your reason, so why must you keep on laughing
grab that knife and twist it push it deep inside my skin
im sorry for the vulgar language pops taught me better than to sin
i love my brothers to the grave they show love every ounce they have
but even when we chop it up i always leave feeling so bad
i hold your pitied heart

pitied heart

made in 1 hour

another year countin big dough
big money like tenfold
doubled streams in like three months
still don't even have a damn rode (still rockin the 50 dollar usb mic from amazon)
ON to the NY, 1 7 to the 1 8
call up my brothers and told em im fine just had alot on my plate
done did a lot for my age
told em sorry for da wait :/
tryna get my ass into uni so my dad knows that i'm straight

don't got the time for the hate
got nothing but love for my mates
back when i was fifteen thought i wouldn't make it to the eighteen
swear life been crazy
drop a song and they pay me
i was real down now i'm up cos i done got myself a lady
#PGPSM
yeah i'm back on my mode
guess i done did fold (uhmm but it was for the best)
i'll put it up for my folk
knew before you spoke
still feeling all my lows

another year countin big dough
big money like tenfold
doubled streams in like three months
still don't even have a damn rode
ON to the NY, 1 7 to the 1 8
call up my brothers and told em im fine just had alot on my plate
done did a lot for my age
told em sorry for da wait :/
tryna get my ass into uni so my dad knows that i'm straight

are you sleeping well and eating good?
bite my tongue, misunderstood
all alone did you heal in time
both stuck alone bby fine but not fine
puff yo chest up
spent a couple months over a damn dud
kick it w my bro
treat him like we're blood
done but we rlly aint done
we shoot but we shoot it for fun
tell me j tell me to love
and ill be there aiming the gun

demo 2

i don't know how to say it
if it keeps on i'll be emaciated
another product of harming
crash, fall
i don't wanna be here at all
don't catch me if i fall down
another product of harming
crash, fall
i can't seem to find it, it's lost
the boy i was before
why have grown disheartened
crash, fall

mind my mind you
pick my fights
hand my life over
i rest my soul down been at it since october
don't lie to yourself you're not a toler
you barely know her
think she a showman
petty scars all over
you should've known then
it gets too heavy to breathe
i'm pleading down on my-
i stay up grinding my teeth
my flesh is ready to eat

i don't know how to say it
if it keeps on i'll be emaciated
another product of harming
crash, fall
i don't wanna be here at all
don't catch me if i fall down
another product of harming
crash, fall
i can't seem to find it, it's lost
the boy i was before
why have grown disheartened
crash, fall

product of harm

guitar by will rhead

when it's all said and done
when i leave home and no one's round
will you save me a seat to the sun?
to somewhere i could never be found
i don't wanna let go
oh i don't wanna leave home
i made my momma cry
i told her i'd call her on the phone
i'll kiss my cats goodbye
i'm sorry i left you all alone
oh i don't wanna leave home
oh i don't wanna leave home
i'll do all the things you taught me
i'll try my best, i'll be a man, won't hate my body
stand on my own two feet
i'll make it through twelve weeks
i'lll make it back with my own hands, i'll make you proud of me

proud

i made a wrong move
i tie both my shoes straight
darling what's new?
you're half a world away
i bite my tongue and graze my teeth
at something only god can see
ask the teller, "what's got into me?"
he just sighed and gave me sympathy
my love, what's new?
my love, what's new?
my brown leather skin
your face of an angel
i repent for my sins
hear your voice close my eyes i'm in that condo again
when i was only a kid
when i was only a kid
when i was only a kid

2poder

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