5/7

https://defsharp.bandcamp.com/track/to-get-older

to get older

Stream

The main guitar is taken from Goonnights' song "sober"
link: https://soundcloud.com/goonnights/sober-ft-ever

The lead guitar in the second half was recorded by 2045
link: https://soundcloud.com/sc2un-sh4re
link: https://soundcloud.com/2045

Struggler is written about a sort of cycle I go through a lot, and trying to break it, but failing.
I always end up falling into slumps of creative block, and I always try way too hard to get out of it, and I always end up feeling horrible.
This song is also indirectly about me and my new alias, with some lyrics specifically referencing and responding to "To Disappear" which was a very difficult song for me.

As for this new alias, there's a full post on twitter, I'm sorry for deleting everything so suddenly, it was a really silly decision. "Rapture" will always be available on bandcamp for free.

remix stems:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1L6wVfOrNyYRWd7d7iVrHIA5V-PZnGjcb/view?usp=sharing
(162bpm, idk the key)

As always, Soundcloud isnt the best listening experience (specifically butchers the high end on this song), try spotify or youtube or something
The mixing is definitely intentionally a little messy, the vocals are a little quiet on purpose, I really enjoy the sound this song has, but I can agree it might not be for everyone.

[LYRICS]

And Oh, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
And Oh, I might struggle and I might die

So tell me, is this healing?
Or it's a cycle that's repeating
And I need to know
If I'm gonna be here

Thickened Water
And Tarot Smoke

I guess I can feel it now
My gums are melting away
But they continued

And Oh, I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive
And Oh, I might struggle and I might die
So please don't disappear
Don't leave me in a shallow river

Struggle 'til I die

Struggler

calling

this was a freestyle recorded in 2020 on a night when i was drunk and sad.

purchase on bandcamp here: https://otrapic.bandcamp.com/track/flutter

stream on spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7vYyDasfVor6TpYtOOP5RJ?si=dde422623649419d

listen on apple music: https://music.apple.com/us/album/flutter/1606804327?i=1606804328&app=music

flutter

come on i'm sure
it always gets better
so stop this damage
i know it hurts
he left so soon
but i know he'll manage

he'll come back, and he'll be him again
i don't know if i still want to be friends
its not enough, its not enough, for me to pretend
its not enough, its not enough

and i dont know you anymore

your white lies, your white lies
leave with fright lines
i cry when light up with the sky
i almost died but i feel alive
it left me with fright lines
it left me with fright lines

i scratched up my old identity
fell in love so everyone could see
the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me
caught up on emotions i didn't need
locked away for a summer of secrecy
the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me

the fright lines

the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me

the fright lines

the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me

the fright lines remind me
the fright lines remind me

only last year
did we talk together
how it'd get better
we were right here
i looked at you
and you said you met her

im sidelined, waiting looking in
i cant tell if we even still are friends
i want it back, i want it back, and see you again back
i want it back, i want it back

and i dont know you anymore

your white lies, your white lies
leave with fright lines
i cry when light up with the sky
i almost died but i feel alive
it left me with fright lines
it left me with fright lines

i scratched up my old identity
fell in love so everyone could see
the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me
caught up on emotions i didn't need
locked away for a summer of secrecy
the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me

the fright lines

the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me

the fright lines

the fright lines, the fright lines, the fright lines
the fright lines, the fright lines they drew on me

fright lines!

listening to my album nearly 8 months on ive sorta grown from most of them but i still think this song is one of my best ever i also pyut it on spotify cuz idk im silly

Growing Legs

@oakscreen, prod in 24h for anv7
piano from @ninthparallel,  guitar from julie k + @jaronsteele

loving love, with oakscreen

Music Video: https://youtu.be/SZW7eoFDP6k

ITS TRUCK MONTH BABY !!!!

thanks to @jessephamel for the cover art and the MUSIC VIDEO!
thanks to @wishlane for backup vocals on the last chorus !
thanks to all of YOU for your love and support !

lyrics:
i'm scared to leave my room now
i'm scared to leave my house
my mom says it's unhealthy
that i never get out
i'm scared of the helicopters
scared of the cops
i'm scared of the chem-trails
keep my door locked

keep in the filtered air
recycle everything
everywhere now
see me through my webcam
you know they can
you know they can
you know you know

don't want my life to pass me by
god damnit maybe it's really my star sign
you said i'm prone to hiding
i said it's just anxiety
"why would you be afraid of what you don't know?
take the risk take the shot
and see wherever it goes"
i wish it was that simple
but i can't shake this syndrome

i'm tired of baggy eyes
of being an adult
white guys on youtube always tell me it's my fault
i need to try to meditate
get off of these meds
if there's no [redacted] left
then fuck it it's the end



keep in the filtered air
recycle everything
everywhere now
see me through my webcam
you know they can
you know they can
you know you know

don't want my life to pass me by
god damnit maybe it's really my star sign
you said i'm prone to hiding
i said it's just anxiety
"why would you be afraid of what you don't know?
take the risk take the shot
and see wherever it goes"
i wish it was that simple
but i can't shake this syndrome

PG-13

my song about not being there for you

--

It's hard to be in the middle
It cuts you up, it's so sharp
But love couldn't be as simple
As stumbling your way through the dark

If I could be as comforting would you start
Giving me a room to get in your heart?

I'm trying to hide these emotions
Heart race in the back of your car
And that time that we went to the ocean
I wish I had taken you more far

If I could be as comforting would you start
Giving me a room to get in your heart?

--

art generated using dall-e

borderline lovesick

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear

calling

lovinglove

Recent comments

Deescawa

Deescawa

y a g i !

rockstar

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