made in collaboration with @soregold 
ummm i kinda lost the project file for this so while the second half is very WIP i kinda thought i might as well upload it cause i love both of these songs :3 pls enjoy

shelter x everything goes on covermashupremix

prod @0scy0 goat

ive got these walls around my heart babe
and when your too close it drives me crazy
i love the thought but i hate the touch
i want you with me but its just too much

ive got these walls around my heart, babe
and when your too close it drives me crazy
i love the thought but i hate the touch
i want you with me but its just too much

(i want you with me but its just too much)
youre the light spilling through my door
i know youre what im looking for
but im standing where the shadows form

i see you reaching out for me
im hearing words that im scared to believe
and im afraid that youll hate me 
if you see the mess, the mess that love made me

ive got these walls around my heart babe
and when your too close it drives me crazy
i love the thought but i hate the touch
i want you with me but its just too much

ive got these walls around my heart, babe
and when your too close it drives me crazy
i love the thought but i hate the touch
i want you with me but its just too much

crazy (scythex02)

+@trixkin
produced by me :3

melt my necklace with your warmth, under violet skies 
everything pours out beautifully from those eyes 
i know maybe its just something that you cant really see 
but you're better off alone, better off without me

violet blaze curl inside my heart, its still begging
cadence of a song that i’ll never get to sing
i know maybe it’s just something you cant really see
but you’re better off alone, better off without me

~
if you could just get a little close next to me
i would feel this unique warmth honestly
i simply can not accept this feel to leave
all the fragments gradually drifted away from me
你的存在 使驱散了尘埃
逐渐习惯 使幻想的离散
你的存在 逐渐习惯
我憧憬的光芒也终将沉入大海

~
(you'll be happier when im gone)
(you'll be happier alone)

melt my necklace with your warmth, under violet skies 
everything pours out beautifully from those eyes 
i know maybe its just something that you cant really see 
but you're better off alone, better off without me

violet blaze curl inside my heart, its still begging
cadence of a song that i’ll never get to sing
i know maybe it’s just something you cant really see
but you’re better off alone, better off without me

better off alone w/ trix

prod me

watch the ceiling fall
ive felt this feel before
watch the stars fall
what you waiting for?

watch the ceiling fall
ive felt this feel before
watch the stars fall
have we done this before?

so many words i never wrote
i wanna hold you tight
till it feels alright
so many things i never said to you

wish that i could tell you how i feel
wish that i could make this dream 
i wish this was real
wish you knew how i felt all this time
wish you knew all i wanted was to have you by my side

all these feelings turn my head around
all my feelings, like you hold me down
wish youd tell me that you feel the same
wish youd tell me that you feel this way

wish ~°⭒˚｡⋆

+@trixkin
prod @star607+me

u keep stalling
while im caught in ur eyes
cant decipher the meaning of goodbye
n everywhere i look
im still caught in ur eyes
dont go
dont make me say goodbye

everythings a faded story
n i cant take it knowing what we had between us
everything i said, 
im sry
i just wanna love u again, 
just wanna see u again
i know im awful, 
im sry

再见.

i didnt get a chance to say goodbye 2 u
every day feels x_x
its not making sense
im through
keep on our distance
what i should (do)?
i wanna fix it, though i wish it wasnt true
tell me what is lie
give me say goodbye
i dont want u sad
i dont want u2 die
(i dont want u sad)
(i dont want u2 die)

goodbye w/ trix (me, star607)

thx @pawprinted so awsome prod

write a tragedy in a story no one reads
crave the feeling, 
crave the pity, 
crave u'll notice me
preach it like a bible even tho we know its sin
need ur #attention,
just to fill what im drownin in

and im trying so hard,
so wont you look at me?
im stitched together by your eyes,
in fantasy
u wont notice me, 
yeah it feels so through
wish u needed me, 
like i needed u

夜の静けさに　
落ちる言葉ひとつ
届かぬ願いは　
風に溶けてく
窓の向こうで　
星が泣いてる
あなたが私のことを気にしてくれたらいいのに。

notice me (elixio)

@rewind214 
@1akura

maybe im okay alone
maybe everythings alright, here at home
m-maybe im okay alone
maybe nothings wrong at all

but im content to just sink away
its my intent to just stay this way
ill never f>_<ing change
ill never change my ways
ill always be the same
itll always be this way

always so tired from everything
always so drained, i cant do a thing
and i dont rly know where im going
i just know ive given up my wings

always so exhausted
got nothin left in me
pass out on the couch
tell me what to do
y-yell at me and shout
but ill pay no mind
im js staring at the clouds

たぶん一人で大丈夫
何も間違ってない、ここで
ただ沈んでいたいだけ
変わらないままでいるよ

hikikomori (rewind, akura)

ft @casbinn p @decago, @2rel
imy sm

(so awful
im stuck
is it even love?)

maybe i should give up on this loving thing
maybe im so awful i dont deserve to feel a thing
baby im stuck on u, 
im stuck on everything
is it even love if all i am is suffering?

yeah ive been broken all week
and now we cant talk,
and no we cant speak
i close my eyes and i try to dream,
but baby i havent been able to breathe 
rereading old texts bc i cant sleep,
where u said forever and i rly believed
did u ever even care at all?
or was that just what i wanted it to be? 

(@casbinn)
and im sorry that im not the person u want me to be
ill try to call u but i dont know if ill ever see a reply
but maybe in another life
hate me if u want to
ill try my best just to make it right

cause its hard to breathe it feels like im inhaling all the smoke
but tell me honestly like was it real or was it all a joke?
and letting go is just the hardest thing i dont know where to start
but mentally im still attached to you 
you still live in my heart

is it even love? w/ casbin (rel, decago)

@yuikase
cover by my awesomee friend /instagram.com/r.elium/
i got a new mic ^^
~

ik that you dont want me,
but i cant stop holding on
falling bc u wont love me
hate me bc im whats wrong

could you just kiss me again?
bc i cant stop pretending
i dont wanna miss u again
i hate that i cant mend it

n im so scared that ill disappear,
bc ur the only reason that i stuck around here..
im so f>_<ing tired of having to say goodbye

bc whats the point of anything if it wont ever heal?
why be with anyone else when they cant even make me feel?
dont want it to end,
dont want to be friends
lay for the wheels to crush me inside
waiting to leave this place that u bled,
the way that ure leaving me behind 

(i cant mend it..
y cant u love me!?
y cant u want me!?)

want me ⁠╥⁠﹏⁠╥⁠ (asagao)

produced with love by me,,
ft @ritsuzuki, @iowgen, @556renzo
hi everbodyy i just want to say thank you so much for listening to my stuff. ive been struggling with so much recently and right now making these silly little songs is really the only thing keeping me together. it honestly just warms my heart to see even just a few people enjoy something that i care aboutt.,, ily all sm. thank you<3

(@4aia >_<)
i should work on myself n stop hurting myself
but ur inside my headd!!!!!
inside my obsessionn
n ull never hear me.. but ur the reason i wake up
dc if it breaks me
my only fixation

i just need u to need me the same way that i need u
if only i could go back and tell u the things that i meant to
ik i gotta move on,
n try to believe in something new but,
i hate it all..
i hate that its not with u :/

(@556renzo)
i cant do this anymore, girl im on the edge
i cant live without ya bae, i don't understand
cuts up on my body, i really can't forget
really can't forget about uu

ur living in my mind, i want uu
n i cant do sumn bout itt
wish that we had never crossed (ooh)
im better off wandering without u

(@iowgen)
whats the point in it?
running down a losing game
crying all alone inside of our place again
countdown on my life
hoping that ill die in peace
fallen out of touch
with nothing left to save

dont u wonder too?
would the outcome change with us?
cover my wounds inside
hoping u could feel better
whats been done has all been left x3

(@ritsuzuki)
i know its hard to see the tears on my shirt
gotta heal your heart
baby i know that it hurts
and oh,
nihilism, what else is there to gain?
and i cant think a lot i think that im dying again

i tried to end my life
it still feels like im alive
ure living in my head
i cant take this pain anymore
i was there til the end
u were never my friend
staring at numbers, is that all i ever really meant?

(@4aia)
i should work on myself n stop hurting myself
but ur inside my headd!!!!!
inside my obsessionn
n ull never hear me.. but ur the reason i wake up
dc if it breaks me
my only fixation

i just need u to need me the same way that i need u
if only i could go back and tell u the things that i meant to
ik i gotta move on,
n try to believe in something new but,
i hate it all..
i hate that its not with u :/

all these cuts on my body r crying for u
tearing myself to pieces... maybe ull care..
no i dont wanna feel this way</3

been stayin awake every night
i keep on waiting... maybe u might call me.. 
ik im the problem
im sry, 
i cant keep trying :(
ii dont wanna live this way

fixation w/ ritsu, iowgen, renzo

@1luvpurp
@ripyuann

(@4aia)
(how could u love someone like me?
how can i love someone like me?
i dont always get what u mean
but the things u say, they stick w me)

can i be honest?
think my healths declining
if im gon be honest
i think im glad im dying

years i been closed off
ik no ones caring
and life feels so hopeless
my world, its been ending

i dont wanna write sad songs anymore
i cant do what i have to
i cant conform

n they tell me that its priceless
but ik ive fucked it up
could u teach me how to love?
swear i dont want to give up

bae i just wish i could be seen
its so bleak, n i cant breathe
the things i need r fantasy
this longing i have inside of me

how could u love someone like me?
how can i love someone like me?
i dont always get what u mean
but the things u say, they stick w me

girl i hope that i dont fuck this up
ive said i hate it but i need ur love
im so lost, n im so blind
hope ull stay n be my guide

how could u love someone like me?
how can i love someone like me?
i dont always get what u mean
but the things u say, they stick w me

(@ripyuann)
(the things u say, they stick w me
my mind is needing clarity
your eyes are shining in the light
your heart is filled with purity 
now give me this security 
i know i need maturity 
im scared of who im soon to be,
i hope you see the good in me)

how can you love someone like me? 
im a fuck up
my pills are running low I need another re up 
i know i need a better life i need a change up 
everytime you tell me you love me i tear up

you know im trying but I feel like im dying tonight 
you are the light up in my life, 
you make my heart feel alright 
can you just stay by my side,
i know im holding on tight 
i put my ego aside, 
i see our love shining bright

im doing better,
we made it through the weather
i love the way you lookin in my fav balenci sweater <3
the way you loving me make me feel like im the one 
i wanna be with you until this fucking life is done

i wanna hold your hand until we're buried underground
i know when im with you my life feels like its heavenbound##
and when i didnt have you my love was lost and now its found 
you made my heart fixed and now i made the turn around

someone like me w/ yuann (luvpurp)

@rewind214 @1rokit
sry bad mix my head hurts

eyes heavy, make my heart swim
got me breathless like the airs thin
n idk what ive got, 2deserve it
im not used 2love,, but girl ur perfect

i was fallin thru, n now it feels right
holding in fireworks;; inside of my mind
b4 i met u i was drownin bneath the surface
now wakin up finally feels like its worth it 

n u got me open i aint used 2that
ive always been reclused,, i couldnt leave my past
i used to lay numb tryna pass the time,
now i open my eyes w ur name onmy mind

eyes heavy, make my heart swim
got me breathless like the airs thin
n idk what ive got, 2deserve it
im not used 2love,, but girl ur perfect

perfect (rewind, rokit)

out on spotify when im not lazy
@yashio20k
@recyclexbin
@kujareign
cover by @trixkin (+me :3)

(@4aia)
im scared you saw somebody i cant really be
im scared youll hate me
the flaws, the scars, the mess thats me
and i wanna change, but im so f>_<ing weak
im sorry,
im sorry if you ever believed in me

im scared you saw somebody i cant really be
youll despise me for the bruises,
see whats underneath
and i wanna change, but thats just a dream
im sorry,
im sorry if you ever believed in me

its like all i ever do is hurt friends
its like all i ever meant only broke things
like ive tried and ive tried and im still trying
but ill just cry and ill cry and ill cry again
↺

(@kujareign)
thought i would end my life, but then i saw you
got a feeling inside, that i cant lose
put your heart on my sleeve, feel what ive been through
baby dont take my hand, 
dont wanna hurt you 

falling in love with you
was the last thing, i wanted to do
all my old ways, yeah i cant change
cant be us 2, i dont deserve you

sorry if you ever believed in me w/ kuja (yashio, recyclebin)

telephone

paper

Love Spell!

hate my life but i hope i can make yours a little better
@4aia on discord i dont use anything else
@lightgardennn

kaia

Pinned to spotlight

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