fallnvault essentials

ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵇˡᵃʳᵉ

decomposition of the body and mind

back in business

produced by elavy

lyrics: 

tell me what you think about when you're laying in bed
tell me all the things you ever wish you could've said
tell me everything you'd like to do before you're dead
tell me that instead
tell me your regrets

tell me what's on your mind
tell me your biggest fears
tell me what you think of when no one else is here
tell me what you would say if no one else could hear
there's not a single soul besides us my dear
x2

tell me what you want
what would you do for it?
something that you lost but now you're used to it
no matter the cost
just tell me what it is
get anything you want, if you got life to give
I'm stuck and I can't get out
can't remember my way in now
the ceilings caving down
can't remember when I last heard a sound
too late for saving now but I'd rather swim than drown
my heart is pacing now
be quick cuz I'm fading out

tell me would you self yourself for some cash flow
a little dinero, you don't gotta say no
you want it, just say so
no need to aim low
don't worry bout a halo baby
you're not an angel

tell me your regrets
don't hold 'em back
tell me what you wish you said
no strings attached
searching for something you need, something you lack
I think I understand why you still can't relax

tell me what's on your mind
tell me your biggest fears
tell me what you think of when no one else is here
tell me what you would say if no one else could hear
there's not a single soul besides us my dear
x2

tell me your regrets

thorns

Lyrics:

Wouldn't of worked out 
I can tell 
You know I’m better by myself...

Did everything for you to cut me off 
just cut me off… 

You weren’t hard to figure out 
figure out…

Never should’ve had any doubt 
Any doubt… 

Did everything for you to cut me off 
just cut me off… 

You weren’t hard to figure out 
figure out…

Never should’ve had any doubt
any doubt...

Did everything for you to cut me off 
just cut me off…

better alone

produced by thom 

I’m sick but thanks for 5K 



lyrics:

and I’m not stuckk like when I started
got away from that apartment
used my pain to line my pockets
now they’re gone and no one’s watching me

just wanna know if you’re proud of me
but I know I’ll never get that
just wanna hear that you’re proud of me

you know I will always try my best
I’m doing more when I feel like less
there’s so much that I wish I said
but you’re not here now

I still don’t like to cry now
don’t like to cry now

and I’m not stuckk like when I started
got away from that apartment
used my pain to line my pockets
now they’re gone and no one’s watching me

just wanna know if you’re proud of me

are you proud of me?

tell me how it feels to fade away

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3hJD6goFI1go016fBNkdcV?si=wLmc7uqhRZipeoq5Kgj5uA
art by visualsbykura
prod: Klimlords x RJ Pasin
featuring: @1bearr
lyrics: 

(@alkayn)
I've been fuckin' up everything I try
Sometimes I wish that I would die
It's hard to keep you in my life
It's so damn difficult

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

(@1bearr)
Just wanna blow my brains 
I don’t think I’ll ever be the same 
Scars linking back to your name 
Your messages drive me insane 

And I don’t think I’ll ever be the same 
All the words that we exchanged 
in your sights so fire down range 
you don’t love me, I see it in your face 

And I know that we tried our best 
Keep putting my heart to the test 
Can’t go on I’m so depressed 
Think it’s time to give us a rest

(@alkayn)
You can fuck off baby I don't want your love
I don't have the time to give a fuck
Stuck in abyss, just my luck
I always find a way to fuck it up

(@alkayn & @1bearr)

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

I've been trying my best to fix this shit
I got a one way ticket to death, I'm in
I need a break from all of the suffering
She'll try her best to get under my skin

1wayticket2death w/ 1bear

https://open.spotify.com/track/1m8CPu0glpDoP8g5WG6nMx?si=87a896ffdca84fc0

featuring @luvkurtis
first time trying new genre

lyrics:

@1bearr

she says boy you can run you won’t make it far 
minds at the crossroads i’m being pulled apart 
i know deep down she’s the one poisoning my heart 
keep on trying to leave but she won’t let me past 

grabs my arm says she won’t let me go 
every second she breathes she’s checking up her phone 
always blaming me for every single fault
her voice never leaves, it’s my head it haunts 

@luvkurtis

now i gotta go
got drugs for days for when i’m on the road
when i'm on a roll
baby go and let me go
no i don’t care too much
know it's my time
i know she’ll watch me when i fall
don't call my line
don't let me down it’s what u want

@1bearr

she says boy you can run you won’t make it far 
minds at the crossroads i’m being pulled apart 
i know deep down she’s the one poisoning my heart 
keep on trying to leave but she won’t let me past 

grabs my arm says she won’t let me go 
every second she breathes she’s checking up her phone 
always blaming me for every single fault
her voice never leaves, it’s my head it haunts 

glass shatters all over the kitchen floor 
pictures ripped right off my bedroom wall 
the way she acts, so bloody cynical 
she’s draining me, parasitical 

@luvkurtis

you gotta run fast fast baby fast as you can
no i ain’t ever coming last
i’ll be first to the chance
im getting back back back all the shit that i had
so shut up, close mouth
i don’t wanna hear it all again

@1bearr

repeating it won’t ever make it true 
thinks it’s time for both of us to change the view 
all these lies, can’t believe youd follow through 
you can trip me up but i won’t fall for you 

she says boy you can run you won’t make it far 
minds at the crossroads i’m being pulled apart 
i know deep down she’s the one poisoning my heart 
keep on trying to leave but she won’t let me past 

grabs my arm says she won’t let me go 
every second she breathes she’s checking up her phone 
always blaming me for every single fault
her voice never leaves, it’s my head it haunts

crossroads w/ kurtis

OUT ON ALL PLATFORMS https://idm.fm/rotten
produced by tansea
mastered by pdktp
-
Nothing has started
My self departed
Took two steps forward
But I'll take three back then

My hope disheartened
No records charted
I can't take your word
With my eardrums blackened

I don't want to be rotten (rotten)
Knowing I'll be forgotten (forgotten)
No no
I don't want to be unknown
(unknown)

And I know it's real common
But everybody's now watching
Oh no
All the people I've consoled

Like damn,
I don't want to hate myself
I don't want to fear my health
Things I always keep withheld

You don't want to live like this
Should I really call it quits?
Maybe they were right about this
Everything will fade to mist

I work when, it's late and
I miss out, on days when
I should be, outside and
Instead I'm, revising

I'll never, be perfect
I want to, be worth it
I threw my, vacation
In hope that, I'd make it

(ugh)

I don't want to be rotten (rotten)
Knowing I'll be forgotten (forgotten)
No no
I don't want to be unknown
(unknown)

And I know it's real common
But everybody's now watching
Oh no
All the people I've consoled

Like damn,
I don't want to hate myself
I don't want to fear my health
Things I always keep withheld

You don't want to live like this
Should I really call it quits?
Maybe they were right about this
Everything will fade to mist

Like damn (like damn)
I don't want to hate myself (I don't want to hate myself)
I don't want to fear my health
Things I always keep withheld (withheld)

You don't want to live like this
Should I really call it quits?
Maybe they were right about this (maybe they were right about this)
Everything will fade to mist

ALL PLATFORMS

rotten (p. me)

MUSIC VIDEO - https://youtu.be/Rw9ovxo6_Dw?si=_h68zFQH9xjTn1r-
this song is released in partnership with @universalchill
{OUT ON ALL PLATS} - https://songwhip.com/vaun/the-night

produced by: @tansea
mix, master, vocals, and writing: me ( @holyvaun )

LYRICS:

the night you left, it got harder,
you want me dead, oh-oh-oh slaughtered,
the night we met, you wanted solemn,
I was in love but that's my problem,

the night you left, it got harder,
cause you want me dead, 
oh you want me slaughtered,
the night we met, you wanted solemn,
I was in love but that's my problem,
so just let go of the past,
you don't know what we had,
I'm so done being mad,
cause you're no longer my problem,
so don't you call me back,
you used to call me trash,
my pen stuck to my pad,
cause you're no longer,

you're no longer my problem,
sweet like summer,
you used to do me no wrong,
what a bummer,
you lost my trust, and now it's gone,
so much drama,
why can't you ever handle shit on your own?

it's like you wanna make me suffer,
but you lost the spell that I was under,
throw me off the deep end,
as my wounds deepen,
you said I'm weeping,
but I won't let you pull me down,

the night you left it got so hard,
you want me dead, you want me starved,
the night we met, you wanted solemn,
I was in love but that's my problem,
you were the problem,
the night you left I realized,
you were the problem,
you were.

the night [MV in desc.]

prod by tansea, cade powers

you came in my life, now im terrified of blessings
devil in disguise, she told me she had a question
what are you doing looking to me as your savior
i told her cus if god were to die, shes all i'd have to hold onto
shes all id have to hold onto
shes all id have left

if god were to die, 
shes all that id have left
id use my last breath, 
to tell her im obsessed with you

so please dont leave
from head to toe i bleed
but the shade of red is so pretty
you came in my life, now im scared of my own choices
cus i put you over everything, and now im poisoned
what was i doing looking to you as a god
but everyones gone
and shes all that i have to hold onto
shes all i have to hold onto 
shes all i have left

if god were to die, 
shes all that id have left
id use my last breath, 
to tell her im obsessed with you
shes all i have, shes all i have
shes all i have, shes all i have
shes all i have, shes all i have
shes all i have left

shes all i have

shes all i have
shes all i have shes-
shes all i have shes- 
shes all i-

shes all i have left

If God Were To Die

https://open.spotify.com/track/3MJMjjWzJzOCRGLp7xVUJw?si=dacd5dfb8a084620

Lyrics:

I watch it fall down
Been so hard since you're not around
Remember you said that "I'm all yours now"
Our loves lost and it'll never be found

I watch it fall down
Been so hard since you're not around
Remember you said that "I'm all yours now"
Our loves lost and it'll never be found

I want you to know that I tried my best
Replay the nights I had you laying upon my chest
Had you by my side, now I wish you the best
Don't ask how I've been, cuz my lifes such a mess

Everything's so complicated
Guess that's life, I'm growing to hate this
Words cut deep, I masquerade it
Got a dead man's switch, and you played it

So say it how it is, I don't want a repeat of before
It hurts to know that we won't meet anymore
Now I'm drowning with pain, let my heart wash ashore
Such a shame I wish you needed me more

I watch it all fall down
Been so hard since ur not around
Remember you said "Im all yours now"
Our loves lost it'll never be found

I watch it all fall down
Been so hard since you're not around
Remember you said that "I'm all yours now"
Our loves lost it'll never be found

Words cut deep I masquerade it
Got a dead mans switch and you played…

not around

im back
https://open.spotify.com/album/6hMB7Mo3AsqwgPaJozovU7?si=hNypTNGFQP24naBK_hk7EA

drinking problem

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/4vxlW9HN63QH7WS01lXpHG?si=2f389f101cb24862
prod: grayskies

lyrics:
I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent

I hate the way you say my name
The way you act drives me insane
I see the bluff right on your face
A broken heart’s the price I pay
I see it all, I see it so clear
It’s so cold having you this near
In your embrace I feel your tears
I see your face, I’m filled with fear

So stay away from me,
I think that I’ve lost my mind
If this is what it came to,
I think this should all be left behind

I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent
I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent

I’ll say the things that you want me to
Won't speak my mind, I’m stuck in solitude
I don’t even know what I’d say to you
I don’t know what you wanna hear, but it’s not the truth
No, I can’t let my guard down
They all used to hate me, they steady sending hearts now
Said you would replace me but that’s a thing that I doubt
Red in the face as it all starts to go south

So stay away from me,
I think that I’ve lost my mind
If this is what it came to,
I think this should all be left behind

I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent
I won’t break, I suffer in silence
Tie my tongue and act like I’m blinded
I can’t trust, I know you’re conniving
Cut my face, she starts to get violent

stranded

you nearly killed me, sarah

body to body

i cant look away

gone

i can't look away (feat. tansea)

wrote this song kinda loosely based on eternal sunshine of a spotless mind hence the coverart. a bit messy but i think its a beautiful song in it own way. love you guys <3

I think the time we had was worth it
but was it all perfect
i cant say so
I wouldnt choose another person
but does that mean its working 
I cant say so, cant say so

I couldnt see you any clearer
than looking in the mirror
we're one in the same, 
one in the same
oh what a shame, oh what shame
it didnt have to end this way
I cant explain, whats going on 
but neither can you, neither can you
Lay me down, peel my skin back
and see whats really there for you
i think we're both praying to god that its true

I think the time we had was worth it
but was it all perfect
i cant say so
I wouldnt choose another person
but does that mean its working 
I cant say so, cant say so

perfect

"Tay" exists in my mind as a person who I'd love unconditionally, recklessly, and constantly. Though I've yet to find this person, "Tay" is the distilled product of my emotion towards the mystery. I'm not sure what genre this specific song would fit into, but it honestly doesn't matter a whole lot to me; as long as people can know that they aren't the only ones looking for their "Tay".

thorns

blare