prod. neverforever

lyrics

porcelain, your love is like glass,
you keep picking up the pieces, cuz it never lasts
and you're falling, way too fast 
you're constantly searching to fill in the cracks

and i feel so empty, when youre not around
all the bits and pieces break without a sound


the changing of seasons, the turning of leaves
reminds me of someone, that i used to be
he was born made of clay, rotting away
until somebody took him, far far away

so he built up his walls, afraid to let them fall
but he watched them crumble, for they were too tall 

now before us today, the boy made of clay
looks a lot more like porcelain, progress was made
but hes broken and battered, like none of it mattered
because his fragile heart, still ended up shattered

porcelain (neverforever)

Written by: Lizzie Calisto
Produced by: sorrow bringer
Mix and Master by: Chris Martsolf

[LYRICS}

Prisms of violet light reflect off my skin tonight
Tiny sparkles and specks flicker in fading moonlight
I shouldn't be here, but to leave now just wouldn't be right
I hear don't eat of the apple, but I know I just might

I take a walk up that hill, the dead of night at my back
Inside there's nothing to feel, I still don't know how to act
Slivers of light shine, the whites of your eyes attack
I catch a glimpse before everything fades to black

Forbidden fruit, oh now, what did I do?
Cause all hell broke loose as I was reaching for you
And now I live with the pain of starting over again
Forbidden fruit, I should've never have eaten it

Lead me in
Play around
Fill me up
Spit me out
(I should've never have eaten it)

Forbidden fruit, oh now what did I do?
Cause all hell broke loose as I was reaching for you
And now I live with the pain of starting over again
Forbidden fruit, I should've never have eaten it

Prisms of violet light reflect off my skin tonight
Tiny sparkles and specks flicker in fading moonlight
I shouldn't be here, but to leave now just wouldn't be right
I hear don't eat of the apple, but I know I just might
(I hear don't eat of the apple, but I know I just might)

Forbidden Fruit (Prod. sorrow bringer)

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

what if i never picked up the phone
what if he never even called at all
i dont know, but i dont care
theres a reason why im still here
what if the tide wasnt so far in
winds a little calmer, so i could swim
or have i sinned ?
what if i never went away with my friends
and i spent the last minutes on a call with him
and i got to say goodbye, and that this is the end
at least id have some fucking closure on this life that i live
and what if he never accpeted any help from the meds
cause his children needed longer and they offered him that
just to leave him no time at all
i know its hard to accept but im falling flat

your shadow crawls from my ceiling
i cant sleep, i just might miss it
hoping i wake myself up
claws unsheathed drag me through mud
permanently all i want
so unhealthy, that i know
claws unsheated rip me to bones
drowning you drown out my soul

hiding myself between pillows and walls
you dont want nothing, no nothing at all
i could have given you all that you want
spending some time with me really that rough ?
hiding my thoughts while my feelings collide
ruin myself, all ambitions will lay
here on the floor next to nothing at all
broken, misused and mistaken for soil

claws

** Picture; a jungle type atmosphere. This is what I tried to create.  **

Lay on the ground and Breathe,
Evade your own Despair,
I know what you want from Me,
Don't know what you want from Me,

I tried to Guard Myself,
The dosage Chewed Me Out,
And it's getting Hard to Breathe,
The Pills make it Hard to breathe,

If I see that Girl; 
I swear I'll Shoot myself Right Down (ooh)
Self Right Down

Self Righteousness, It always leads me back to Drown.

Back to Drown. (ooh)

Maybe in the next life, I could be a person you'd enjoy, but I-
Think it's meant for this life, you've been too distracted with other guys (x2)

If I see that girl; 
I swear I'll shoot myself right down (ooh)
Self Righteousness, It always leads me back to Drown.

* extremely muffled and distorted screaming because my mic peaks *

If I see that girl

shawty tryna play some games
shawty why you play with my heart
why are you on hearthstone
why baby, you're on heat stones

baby, i miss our sleep calls
why are you on fortnite, baby?
aren't we meant to spend tonight, together?

shawty run it up
shawty run it up
bitin on my neck
vamp girl
blood lust
shawty f*ck it up
shawty f*ck it up

oh girl, you're my world
feel you in my soul
ice around my nerves

angel calling me
angel wanna share my world
sunlight over me
guiding through the frozen swirl

god damn girl, with the pretty eyes
god damn girl, with the blacked out eyes
god damn girl, with the pretty eyes
god damn girl, with the blacked out eyes

sleep calls (szvmek)

prod. by @kuroimetsuyu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0i0g8Ro90s

Lyrics:
[Pre-Chorus]
Heard you passing by
I pretend that I didn't see a thing
But it still hurt me deeply
Yeah it still hurt me deeply

[Chorus]
God, it still hurt me so deeply
I can't hide the pain
Nothing as it seems
And seems like I have to get used to it

[Pre-Chorus]
Heard you passing by
I pretend that I didn't see a thing
But it still hurt me so deeply
God, it hurt me so deeply

[Chorus]
God, it still hurt me so deeply
I can't hide the pain
Nothing as it seems
And seems like I have to get used to it
Yeah seems like I have to get used to it

[Verse 1]
I count the days
I've been spending without you
Each is so empty, what even the use of counting?

[Chorus]
God, it still hurt me so deeply
I can't hide the pain
Nothing as it seems
And seems like I have to get used to it

[Verse 2]
Tell me, have I lost it?
I can't seem to get a grasp of my mind
Tell me, how could I escape?
I don't need the answer
But I think I'd rather hear it first-handed

[Chorus]
God, it still hurt me so deeply
I can't hide the pain
Nothing as it seems
And seems like I have to get used to it

recurring (prod. kuroime)

AMV: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkv-HHb-EzY

prod. by me
Lyrics:

[Intro]
Why
Did you
Leave?
I
Need
Some
Company

[Verse 1]
Why
Did you
Leave?
I
Need
Some
Company

[Verse 2]
Walls
Are
Caving in
I
Think
I am
Fading
It's
Not your
Fault
But
You could
Still fix it

[Pre-Chorus]
Why
Did you
Leave?
I
Need
Some
Company

[Chorus]
No, I can't do this
I don't wanna be here
I can't see anything
So lonely with my fears
Why did you leave?
I just need some company
I don't wanna fold in
But it's getting
Difficult
I think I slowly
Forget, who I've been
(x2)

[Outro]
I
Am
Too
Late
To
Be forgiven...

company

prod @oceanonthebeat

i wanted love
you want a fantasy
i wanted trust
you couldn't handle me

you wanna fuck around
i think i get it now

you wanna ride that guy over clout go head
text me i'm the problem with his hands around your neck
text me i'm dramatic while you open up your legs
for a guy who doesn't care about you he just wanted sex

you're in love with the feeling of feeling used
tell me you hate me like bet that's cool

you don't want the drama you would rather have abuse
you're the reason that i hate myself for trippin over you

i fell for a girl to fast and that's facts
i got problems with attachment i'm losing my fucking grasp
its gettin harder to trust people it all feels like an act
i was starving for a light and now i'm blinded what is that?

i can't trust a soul
i can't feel at all
i can't feel your heartbeat
please don't say you love me

i wanted love
you want a fantasy
i wanted trust
you couldn't handle me

you wanna fuck around
i think i get it now

i cried every night now i sob
i got problems with lovin then movin on
i got problems with stayin all by my lonely like
nathan i miss you like come and hold me tight

i can't help that i can't help you
you want him now he might break you
he might relapse he might reuse
he might love you he can't change you

i can't help that i might love you
you're real nice but i can't trust you
you won't date me i can't make you
walls to strong no way i'll break through

i deserve better (prod. ocean)

Produced by ryini

Lyrics

A lot of times I don't feel I got no one to talk to
And all the drugs I take I promise that I try and not to
But people just avoid me so I smoke and pour a shot too
I'm walking to my grave cause tryna live is what I not do

I lost her, she found me, I'm under, I'm drowning
Dear Father, please save me from myself before I take me
I don't wanna stay here no more, I don't wanna love I'm so sore
I don't see the point of what it's all for, all I wanna see is her on all four

I'm not that guy I used to be
People are of no use to me
Seems like everyone got used to me
I'm falling back to what I used to be

I'm not alive, I'd rather die
Than to keep up hating my life
Girl goodbye, you're not mine
I'm not yours leave me alone (x2)

I'll fade away with the wind
Everyday's a day I hate being in
Or maybe I just hate my own skin
Is it really even that more different?

Cause the world is bitch that's why I say fuck it
Every morning is shit but I don't think nothing of it
Cause it's always been that way for me
God why'd you give so much hate to me?

I can't take it
How'd I make it?
This far I don't know
Cause I keep losing my hope (x2)

I lost her, she found me, I'm under, I'm drowning
Dear Father, please save me from myself before I take me
I don't wanna stay here no more, I don't wanna love I'm so sore
I don't see the point of what it's all for, all I wanna see is her on all four

I lost her, she found me, I'm under, I'm drowning
Dear Father, please save me from myself before I take me
I lost her, she found me, I'm under, I'm drowning
I lost her, she found me, I'm under, I'm drowning

spotify.

i lost her.

Overdrive

Overdrive (Prod. Steven Done)

prod. hxrxkiller

 days they blur
your flame still burns
your name sounds worse
but im unconcerned

i wanna b happy, your off my mind
i wanna say im great, but i just feel fine
up late again searchin for the sun at night
drifting through the day, to settle for the stars in the sky

i wish i could feel something
i wish i could feel you
i wish i could feel some pain
i wish i was black and blue
is this hell? am i finally well?
never thought i wanna b burned so bad
is this hell? am i finally well?
why am i ok?
(X2)

STREAM ALL PLATFORMS

why am i ok

Hi, I go by the name abdush.

I am a teacher doing music as a hobby, uploading my progress here, started on October 2025, hope you enjoy my songs!

Feel free to DM me if you'd like to, about anything :)

My email if you want to reach me: abdush350@gmail.com

Discord: @lil_abdush

recurring (prod. kuroime)

lil abdush