in the midst

flow

zen's piece
---
though i'm dreaming awake of another side 
in the time to open up a space 
you waited for me, it was easy 
and the drop from 20 ft was frightening 
in a way 
but we made ourselves a home through paranoia 
lip balm softening the pavement 

in the mist before the answer 
let us follow what is brave, a passionate force 
in the light between the sunsets 
we'll fall in love with ourselves 
in the wind beneath the starlight 
let our loving 
never wither 

though your nightmares await 
on another side 
in the time to realize your strength 
though your nightmares await 
on another side 
i'm waiting for you 
i'm waiting for you 
i'll be waiting for you

blossoming

post grad moves!!
---
taking a step forward
into the deep unknown
taking a moment to reminisce
a future we don't have to know
is waiting for us

the sublime imagination
must never be forsaken
the sublime
is flowing in your eyes
is flowing in our eyes

step correct

[20 October, 2018, 12:36am (SW7 5RG)

i am writing this letter with no intention to send it – to say that i miss you – or wonder how you’re doing – there is no way – to see the world through your eyes another time – moments together – fallen so profoundly – frightened by softness unmistakable – that – relinquishing of power – breathless, trembling – the ultimate admission that i am still reeling – desperate to understand – what i’ve already begun to see –]

--------------------------------------------

would you ever
care for me
again? i’d hate for
this to be our
final moments:
stumbled lines, the memory

moonlight fade to: crack of dawn

we were never
meant to see
the way it came to
grow and wither

tell me, am i a garden that failed?

blonde baby
don’t you be afraid of me
blonde baby
don’t you be afraid

cuz i will never stop, loving you
i will never stop, beloved
i will never stop loving you
i will never stop, beloved
i will never,
i will never ever, ever, ever

would you ever
care for me
again? i know you’re the colour blue
i know yellow isn’t envy
i know red is just a cover up
i know grey is just machine for me

would you ever
care for me again?
i know you’re the colour blue
i know how to measure distance
i know you’re the colour blue,
i know how to measure distance

kensington

[16 July, 2018, 3:03pm (T1L 1H5)

inside me – a large lexicon – fear – in moments of joyful community – moments of despair and loneliness – myself, my loved ones – my body and its confusion – the scars of top surgery, the look of a binder – labouring to transform – into what feels right – both wonderful and painful – the same hurts, of being lost in our skin – when all we want is to feel – without suffocating –]

--------------------------------------------

i wanted to be left
alone, to stare out of
the open window

i wanted to be
someone else,
who didn’t have no complications
none to show

tell me the plan tell me what i look like tell me the handle tell me how to cover this body
tell me the future tell me how to keep living tell me how to find the time to breathe
tell me the tea, tell me how to caption tell me shit, tell me the best look to pose
tell me if we’re ever gonna make it tell me if we’re ever gonna make it
tell me if we’re ever gonna make it –

live ammunition the talk
they afford us – tart
like an orange,
sticky from the rind
cry to melancholia,
crashing into us

tell me the light tell me the way tell me the light tell me the way tell me the light tell me the way
tell me the truth tell me to pray tell me the truth they’ll never pay tell me the truth tell me to pray
tell me to die tell me to stay tell me to die tell me to stay tell me to die tell me today

body prompt

[2 August, 2018, 6:17pm (53717)

there is so much unknown about our we – the near future – to have faith that Love, God, will see us as worthy – that keeps us together. It’s strange – the essence – within me – like a bubbling inside my chest, making me breath deeper – the sparkling of the world –]

--------------------------------------------

i thought that there was nothing to hide
but you brought it out of me
trying not to be afraid of the complications, can we
take it from the inner life?
pray beneath the sun
find our way to kama sutra – karma,
how did i deserve
how did i deserve
you?

you / taught me there was nothing to hide from, you / taught me there was nothing to hide from, / you, taught me there was…

low tide

[30 June, 2018, 2:00pm (10040)

the night of my (first) arrival – affectionate – wrapping me in – arms – taken aback by – confidence – about me, a person who – doesn’t really know – though – something so right about being enveloped – the landscape of – body – becoming more familiar – the softness, how warm and open – so simple and natural, like something I’ve done a thousand times before – like we are in the beginning of something, and the middle – ]

--------------------------------------------

don’t slip away
don’t say goodbye
or tell me –

don’t you say goodbye
to an answer
that we already know

keeping time with the subway
is it that i’m much too scared
to lose control?

maybe i’m making a fool of sirens
wanted to be comfortable
should i take a leap for fear of drowning?
well i know, well i know, well i know –

hearts
never
lie,
they never
lie, never
lie,
never

hearts
never
lie,
they never
lie, never
lie,
never

[maybe i’m making a fool of sirens…
maybe i’m making a fool of sirens…
maybe i’m making a fool…]

remember when i started to kiss you?
remember when i took you as my plus one?
remember the past lives that we forget?
crossed exes? trepidation?

don’t slip away
don’t say goodbye
or tell me –
to wait

in atari

live at nx records

your sound x full moon (live)

body prompt (extended, live)

raspberry blue (live)

kensington (live)

in atari (live)

e by day, a by night

multi-instrumental musician / songwriter / composer ☀︎

info [at] aden.ltd

aden

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