sleepwalker

I'm sinking deep inside my mind 
Troubles shatter my insides 
Dark waters drown out all the light
I don’t know if I can fight 
Heavy thoughts begin to bind
I’m fading fast, can I rewind 
Please whisper what I need to hear 
And drown out all my fears

I'm sinking down into abyss 
All the pain seals my lips 
My demons kiss then slit my wrists 
Will I fall to death’s kiss 
I dance with darkness, sweet caress 
I wonder if this is it
Lost in depths and slowing breaths 
Will I feel regret 

The tide is pulling at my bones
Waves erasing all I’ve known 
The sky above, too far to reach
My voice is lost beneath the deep 
The current twists, I lose control
Cold and hollow, undertow 
I reach but there’s no one to hold
I fall into the unknown 

I'm sinking down into abyss 
All the pain seals my lips 
My demons kiss then slit my wrists 
Will I fall to death’s kiss 
I dance with darkness, sweet caress 
I wonder if this is it
Lost in depths and slowing breaths 
Will I feel regret 

Will I regret
Will I regret
Yeah, I’ll regret 

Pulled beneath, no strength to fight 
Fingers slip from flickering light 
Weightless now, the end feels near 
A quiet hush drowns out my fear 
No more battles, no more scars
Let me fade into the dark 

I'm sinking down into abyss 
All the pain seals my lips
I'm sinking down into abyss
All the pain seals my lips
My demon's kiss
Then slit my wrists
Will I fall to death's kiss

the ghosts in my head

Spotify

sinking in the abyss

Waking up to shadows creeping
Throwing punches but I'm reeling
Sippin' poison now I'm healing
Demons whisper you're not dealing

Pop a pill to clear my mind
Battle cries I'm hard to find
In the dark they're intertwined
I escape then hit rewind

Demons in the shadows rise
Swallow pain with every vice
I'm lost within this paradise
Burning up beneath these skies

Mirror's cracked reflection fades
Feel the cuts like razor blades
In this war where truth cascades
I’ll get lost til daylight fades

In the bottle I confide
From their claws I’ll try to hide
They won't get my soul inside
But in this haze my pain resides

Demons in the shadows rise
Swallow pain with every vice
I'm lost within this paradise
Burning up beneath these skies

demons in the shadows

my mind is holdin me hostage 
every time i think, i’m nauseas 
dead inside, dead when i’m talkin
listen to my thoughts, they haunt me 
think it’s getting bad again 
i wanna talk, where to begin
lonely alone and with others 
withdraw, hide under the covers

while my hands are shakin
i know i can’t do this anymore 
i’m shit talkin myself
hate myself to my core 
i’m just waitin to feel how i did before 
i just cannot deal
i’m so fuckin torn

and i’m sorry, yea i’m sorry
i can’t be
(the old me, before this started)
i’m sorry, that i can’t breathe
when my body 
(can’t keep up i’m strugglin)
i wanna drink n smoke the night away
but my fuckin body
can’t be, what you want me
i’m sorry 
(if i could i would, trust me)

tryin to keep my composure 
dreading doing this all over 
this cannot really be living
think i’m just fuckin' existing 
every time i try to breathe
it hurts and brings me to my knees
this cannot be a thing daily
thinking is becoming scary

while my hands are shakin
my hands are shakin
my hands are shakin
my hands are shakin, my
my hands are shakin, my

and i’m sorry, yea i’m sorry
i can’t be
(the old me, before this started)
i’m sorry, that i can’t breathe
when my body 
(can’t keep up, i’m strugglin)
i wanna drink n smoke the night away
but my fuckin body
can’t be, what you want me
i’m sorry 
(if i could i would, trust me)

(i think i'm gonna die tonight)
(i think i just lost my mind)
(i'm hella burnt out)
i'm sorry

while my hands are shakin 
i know i can’t do this anymore (i’m sorry)

i'm not living, i'm existing

seasons are changing 
like my mind
pieces are drifting 
pieces i can’t find
and sometimes i’m an asshole
when i am asked to give 
more than what i’m asked of
it’s my fault please forgive

golden hour
fades to darkness
i fall like flowers
i must confess

it’s not the same when
you start actin’
like a stranger 
so why’s it happen
when i sense danger
i can’t fathom
something good

i’ve been mistaken 
surely this can’t be
you gotta be fakin’
why’s this happen to me
and sure, i’m an asshole 
sometimes i don’t try
to mend a fuckin’ problem
and i just don’t know why

i feel buzzing
pieces falling 
what is coming
and is it something good?

it’s not the same when
you start actin 
like a stranger 
so why’s it happen
when i sense danger
i can’t fathom
something good 
i feel pain when
it starts happenin
the same old bullshit 
you know i’ll fact check
i’m not perfect
but i can practice
something good

it’s not the same when
you start actin 
like a stranger 
so why’s it happen
when i sense danger
i can’t fathom
something good 
i feel pain when
it starts happenin
the same old bullshit 
you know i’ll fact check
i’m not perfect
but i can practice
something good

do you think change is good?

seasons

ring, ring 
the sun’s risin again 
know i gotta get up 
but i’m stuck in my bed 
are my thoughts flings
or will they jus blend in 
guess no one gives a fuck
gotta grind until i’m dead

oh sleep, 
she calls to me 
when i close my eyes
my mind is set free 
i overthink
then i wanna flee 
i tell myself lies
indefinitely

i dream
of a life where i’m paid
to live my life the way i escape
it seems
i’m not really made for
serving the man til i’m in my grave
i sleep
(yeah i sleep)
to meet
(to meet)
a version of me
that lives his life passionately
sleep

hit snooze, hit snooze again
hit snooze, hit snooze again 
this world is not ya friend 
can’t help myself so spin 
white lies when i’m daydreamin
it’s like i can’t defend 
myself so i keep bendin 
my face so ya see a grin 
guess it’s good you never check in 

oh sleep, 
just let me be 
temptation takes over me 
oh, i need to tread carefully 
am i fine? oh, partially 

if i dream
of a life where i’m paid
to live my life the way i escape
it seems
i’m not really made for
serving the man til i’m in my grave
i sleep
(yeah i sleep)
to meet
(to meet)
a version of me
that lives his life passionately
sleep

am i in a dream or nightmare 
(sleep)
is it obscene i fuckin went there 
i jus know this doesn’t feel fair 

i dream 
of a life where i’m paid 
to live my life the way i escape 
it seems 
i’m not really made for
serving the man til i’m in my grave 
i sleep
(yeah i sleep) 
to meet
(to meet)
a version of me
that lives his life passionately
sleep

am i in a dream
oh what ya need
sleep the pain away
life’s not the same anyway
so sleep 
(a dream)


snooze

Ohh, when the ringing returns again,
Feelings flood, a tidal surge, 
Aching heart, a deepening pain,
Blinds and burns, a restless urge 

How do I carry this weight
To meetings, where whispers fade
Riding shotgun on highways,
A creature I dreamt, no, made 

Oh, this pain that shadows me,
Devouring the light of day 
Yet, can I find a glimmer,
A breath of peace amid the fray 

I welcome it to dinner's grace,
Feeding it while screens glow,
Kissing it in warm embrace, 
It goes high while I go low 

What do I do with this ache? 
As it casts its midnight spell,
Hungering for goodness' sake, 
Drains the hope from my shell 

Oh, this pain that shadows me, 
Devouring the light of day 
Yet, can I find a glimmer,
A breath of peace amid the fray

Is this a fate deserved,
A hollowed path I carved alone 
Consequences served 

This pain that shadows me,
Devouring the light of day 
Yet, can I find a glimmer 
A breath of peace amid the fray
Devours the light
I breathe, while hope leaves my sight 

Can I breathe life into dreams
Or shall I dwell in this night
A journey of endless schemes, 
Seeking solace in the light 
Can I breathe life into dreams
Or shall I dwell in this night
A journey of endless schemes
Seeking solace in the light

it hungers

it’s gettin late and you know, 
how i, hate goin home alone 
you can’t, relate you’re so
caught in, debate it’s unknown 
so, pick up your phone
lemme, slide and it’s on 
i just, need to worship your throne
your moans, are my favorite song 

did i stutter
when i said i need ya bed 
just wanna make you shudder
when i get in ya head 
girl, i wanna discover
what makes you lose your breath 
so come on girl, i won’t beg
won’t make you ever regret

i had too much to drink 
you look too good to think 
and you know you can bring
me right to the brink 
you look good on me
so maybe i should be
down on my knees worshipping 
worshipping

oh, come on girl, stop playin
you my whole world, ain’t fakin
please unfurl, i’m prayin
you my lil pearl, keep layin
i won’t keep, you waitin
jus gimme five, and you’re shakin
we can keep, replayin
i got all night, to keep playin 

oh is that thunder
or your feelings on display
girl, jus let ya heart wander
let passion lead the way 
let me fill you with wonder
as stars begin to sway 
come closer girl, follow me
let dreams take you away

i had too much to drink 
you look too good to think 
and you know you can bring
me right to the brink 
you look good on me
so maybe i should be
down on my knees worshipping
yeah

girl, imma sinner
and i need to repent 
girl, i had no dinner
and i’m fastin for lent 
you know, i’ll deliver
make you feel like heaven sent 
oh god, i can’t quit her
i’m all in, a hundred percent

i had too much to drink 
you look too good to think 
and you know you can bring
me right to the brink 
you look good on me 
so maybe i should be 
down on my knees worshipping
yeah

got me down on my knees 
i’m beggin you please
let me keep
worshipping
i need to be
need to be
worshiping
yeah
worshipping
yeah


sunday service

in your dreams you wish you could be me
you’re just a fiend craving dopamine 
but please don’t look too closely
or you’ll find the key to my insanity 

oh, get over yourself 
you’re jus a phony at best
you really need help 
instead of hosting a pity fest 

close your eyes, you’re in for a real surprise
will things get better with time 
or am i just born to die
i’m just a hypocrite that can’t quit 
a loser sailing on a sinking ship 
if you could see me losing it
i’d never make you go through this

when you were young you saw the best in me 
chasing dreams tasted like ecstasy 
it was fun gaining clarity 
now i can’t get off this trajectory

i’m just a fuckin loser 
with a sick sense of humor 
wish i could rewrite my future 
but i’m stuck with failed maneuvers

close your eyes, you’re in for a real surprise
will things get better with time 
or am i just born to die
i’m just a hypocrite that can’t quit 
a loser sailing on a sinking ship 
if you could see me losing it
i’d never make you go through this

ohhh it’s all sinking in 
i don’t think i’m born to win 
maybe this fate was always within 
guess i’ll find out in the end

close your eyes, you’re in for a real surprise
will things get better with time 
or am i just born to die 
i’m just a hypocrite that can’t quit 
a loser sailing on a sinking ship
if you could see me losing it 
i’d never make you go through this 

hold tight, it’s almost time 
to become who’s trapped inside 
i believe i always tried 
failure was just in my design 


imposter syndrome

hey,
wish i could tell you how i’ve been
how i’m sick of bein alive again
but i can’t, 
cuz then you’ll worry again

the weight of my thoughts
are snapping my spine
but you know me as fine
i’ve always fought
but if something goes wrong
i can’t promise i’ll be here long

my life’s on loop
one moment fine, then i’m screwed
but you never knew
i put on my mask
i go on, so you don’t ask
while i relive my past
i walk back to restart my cycle
wear my mask n close my eyes, but
all i can do is keep sleepwalking
all i feel is terrifying 
i wish you could hear how my thoughts sing
but all i can do is keep sleepwalking
yeah, sleepwalking

is this the part where i ask for help?
should i practice like all is well
then turn around and go through hell
i just can’t tell
so i’ll just keep it to myself

i’m scared of this feeling
and how it beats me
so i just leave it be
i turn it all off
it feels nice, turn it up
and let it drop

my life’s on loop
one moment fine, then i’m screwed
but you never knew (ohhhh)
i put on my mask
i go on, so you don’t ask
while i relive my past (mmmm)
i walk back to restart my cycle
wear my mask n close my eyes, but
all i can do is keep sleepwalking
all i feel is terrifying 
i wish you could hear how my thoughts sing
but all i can do is keep sleepwalking
yeah, sleepwalking

i catch myself dreaming too big
then my misfortunes catch up with me
i sleep cuz life’s too disturbing
even when my eyes should be open

my life’s on loop
one moment fine, then i’m screwed
but you never knew
i put on my mask
i go on, so you don’t ask
while i relive my past
i walk back to restart my cycle
wear my mask n close my eyes, but
all i can do is keep sleepwalking
all i feel is terrifying
i wish you could hear how my thoughts sing
but all i can do is keep sleepwalking
yeah, all i can do is keep sleepwalking

yeah, the news said something crazy again 
and i hate pretendin that i have friends 
to talk me out of spiralin
i keep on pacin, while my mind’s racin
take your meds this mornin? 
you call your therapist or just sleep in? 
i can’t take it so i just tune in
to brain rot while i’m scrollin

you gotta slow, down
or you’ll burn, out
breathe in, now
draw out, the doubt

when i sleep my nightmares seize my room 
the beast watches my every move 
i ask it, blink twice if you can see me too 
before it steals my voice and fills me with doom 
it creeps closer paralyzin, i’m screwed 
i try to scream but i’m a fuckin fool 
i know i can’t, i wish i could undo
til morning comes i’m stuck with this ghoul

why’s my mind on worst case scenarios 
as if i could this would be what i chose 
mind you i lost it a long time ago
but good luck digestin, it’s pitiful 
are we a reflection of what we publicize
or just a rejection of what we hide inside  
is this the direction i want to stand beside
or a manifestation of what’s behind my eyes

now,
you need to sit down
get through it somehow
strop actin like a fuckin clown

when i sleep my nightmares seize my room
the beast watches my every move 
i ask it, blink twice if you can see me too 
before it steals my voice and fills me with doom 
it creeps closer paralyzin, should've knew 
i try to scream but i’m a fuckin fool 
i know i can’t, i wish i could undo
til morning comes i’m stuck with this ghoul

tongue tied, i can’t hide, it’s inside
it’s a disguise i provide to deny
i sigh, it’s implied, that i lie
can’t abide, by what’s supplied, that’s suicide 
tongue tied, i can’t hide, it’s inside
it’s a disguise i provide to deny
i sigh, it’s implied, that i lie
can’t abide, by what’s supplied, that’s suicide 

when i sleep my nightmares seize my room 
the beast watches my every move 
i ask it, blink twice if you can see me too 
before it steals my voice and fills me with doom 
it creeps closer paralyzin, shoulda knew 
i try to scream but i’m a fuckin fool 
i can’t, i wish i could undo 
til morning comes i’m stuck with this ghoul

yeah the news said somethin
and i keep on strugglin
wished it was day but it wasn't
it's just another night to fight
before it's on sight, yeah
yeah the news said somethin
and i keep on strugglin
wished it was day but it wasn't
it's just another night to fight
before it's on sight, yeah

night terrors

Can you hear me
Is that the sound of my heart beating 
Am I alive
Is this real life
I’m floating
A piece of me broken 
A passing song
I think I’ve known all along

I whisper,
A shallow hope sifts towards, 
The warmth in knowing
But I’m frozen,
As I’m holding, 
Fading slowly,
From dimming light
Just out of sight

Tether me to solid ground
And let me share what I’ve found
In hoping, passing, floating
Glowing, weeping, growing
I’ve seen the depths deep underground
And soared through skies, wholly unbound 
I’ve spoken, broken, chosen
To be a knowing-

Am I releasing
The core of my being
Is it enough
Who can I trust
I’m falling
While secretly wanting 
A soft touch
A kiss filled with love

I cry out,
My body is hollow now,
This icy emptiness,
Claws at my willingness
As I’m learning,
No longer yearning,
It clicks into place
I think i’ve found my space

Tether me to solid ground
And let me share what I’ve found
In hoping, passing, floating
Glowing, weeping, growing
I’ve seen the depths deep underground
And soared through skies, wholly unbound 
I’ve spoken, broken, chosen
To be a knowing token

Don’t put the light out
One day I’ll come back home
Oh, I should’ve known
That home
Is alone
Oh, alone
mmm, Alone
mmhmmmmm

Tether me to solid ground
And let me share what I’ve found
In hoping, passing, floating
Glowing, weeping, growing
I’ve seen the depths deep underground
And soared through skies, wholly unbound 
I’ve spoken, broken, chosen
To be a knowing token

It gets a lot easier breathin’
When you are not missin’
The fear of bein’ human
Get a grip, are you stupid?
Yeah, it gets a lot easier
Why you missin’?
You stupid!
The fear of bein’
Get a grip or you’ll lose it
It gets a lot easier
(Really?) (Nah!)
Why you missin’
(Ugh, fuck!)
The fear of bein’
(Everything)
Get a grip
Get a grip
Get a grip

astral projector

Once upon a time there was a feeling so big that it birthed a monster. It decimated every last drop of light, conquered any lingering happiness, and engulfed dreams. This monster, no, this parasite feeds on its host and slowly drains every ounce of hope and cascades its victims into endless darkness. Will you feel it nibble at your ankles in work meetings, cry in pain as it feeds on you on a long drive, unknowingly hold its hand across the table as it joins you for dinner? Beware of the beast, or you may not realize what is happening to you until it is too late.

beware (intro)

Are you afraid of dying? Maybe you should just die. not in the suicidal kind of way, but the kind of way that will put everyone else out of YOUR misery. Because you’re doing that thing again, you’re projecting how you feel onto everyone else, and it’s making everyone kinda hate you. Look, I know you’re carrying the weight of your collective traumas and you’re trying to balance out your nightly breakdowns in a way where they won’t interfere with your responsibilities, but I don’t think that’s how this all works. I think that sooner or later, it’s going to catch up with you. So you better get a handle on it. And listen, I get it, I know that dying seems really scary to most people, but I actually think you’re more afraid of living.

are you afraid? (interlude)

alarm (interlude) - aidne

Whatever you choose, just know that there’s no right or wrong answer. I know that isn’t supposed to be the answer I give you, and it’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. If you choose to stay, life is gonna suck. It’s going to be really bad for a while, but eventually there will come a day where it won’t be quite as bad as the last. And the day after that will be a little bit better, and so on until you won’t dread waking up the next day. eventually, that monster will die and a light will grow out of its corpse and illuminate parts of your life you never knew existed, parts so good you could only see them when you slept. And when that day comes, cherish it, no matter how long it lasts. use it as a reminder for when the monster wakes back up and starts to haunt you in little ways again. Maybe that memory will keep it at bay long enough for you to figure out how to defeat it again. But you’ll never know this sort of peace if you decide to leave now. Do with this information what you will.

transcends (interlude)

Night terrors is a song about the dichotomy of feeling stress during the day but not acknowledging the weight it bares on you until you sleep at night. Therefore, one must keep in mind that you are awake during the verses and asleep during the choruses. One might say that your stress may manifest as sinister beings in your bedroom and influence your mood while you sleep. This is what that would sound like.

disclaimer (interlude)

Your touch instantly blisters my skin
Your words pierce through me again 
You distort my reality
This can’t be (No)
How I remember your darkest sin

I lock myself away
Keep my heart at arm’s length 
I won’t ask you to stay 
Oh, here comes the pain

Did Satan bless your tongue
‘Cause how can you lie to me, 
So easily, 
Who is he? 
Can’t believe I thought you were the one
You’re just a stain
Stitched to my name
What a shame
Am I to blame?

(Am I to blame)

Girl, I loved you so much
I couldn’t trust myself 
When do I walk away,
When you can’t say,
If you crave his touch?

I can’t remember me before you
All I know is what we been through (mhm)
I know I shouldn’t stay
But I just can’t look away 

Did Satan bless your tongue
‘Cause how can you lie to me, 
So easily, 
Who is he?
Can’t believe I thought you were the one (Nah)
You’re just a stain
Stitched to my name
Am I to blame?

I should’ve known something was wrong
Still wish you would’ve let me know
If you had said you had to go
I would’ve been okay alone

Did Satan bless your tongue
‘Cause how can you lie to me, 
So easily,
Yeah
Who is he?
Can’t believe I thought you were the one (No)
You’re just a stain 
Stitched to my name 
What a shame 
Am I to blame? 
Oh

Mmm, what a shame
You still don't know what to say (Yeah)
Never needed you anyway
Bet you wish you could say the same 

silver tongue

I’d rather die
Than give into the truth
Let’s face it 
If you could you would blame me too
I’m just ahead 
That’s why you can’t compute
Fall in line

Nah, fuck that

Stop wastin time on tryin
When you know you too broke for that
You act like you gotta spine
When I seen how you throw it back
You be like:
(He got me like so fried)
(Tastin like Five Guys)
Girl I kinda like how you lie
When your tongue gets a little tied

I’m fed a full course meal
Of things you shouldn’t reveal
The kinda shit that keeps you up at night 
When you close your eyes
It’s not a big deal
If this doesn’t feel real
It’ll be alright if you hold tight

When you slip into your bed
And let the thoughts spill out your head
I hope you let your control
Drop, drop, drop
I say my riches are my cred
But I think they’re kinda dead
I can try but I won’t
Stop, stop, stop

Know you want inside but there’s a 
Lock, lock, lock
And I know how you taste 
But I rather 
Not, not, not
If you a six
It’s feet under
I don’t play
I create wonder
(You don’t say!)
Nah, I state the word
Get in place
Or feel my thunder

I dream of endless victories
While you drown in your history
Killing all your fantasies
Where you bury me and win
They will preach liturgies
To praise my responsibility
For delivering 
Us from sin

When you slip into your bed
And let the thoughts spill out your head
I hope you let you control
Drop, drop, drop
I say my riches are my cred
But I think they’re kinda dead
I can try but I won’t
Stop, stop, stop

Isn’t it funny how
What we wish for becomes what we dread
Are you happy now
You lived through what made you crave death
Crave death, 
Death 
Yeah

When you slip into your bed
And let the thoughts spill out your head
I hope you let you control
Drop, drop, drop
I say my riches are my cred
But I think they’re kinda dead
I can try but I won’t
Stop, stop, stop 

Even if I could I wouldn’t
Stop, stop, stop
I make it good and make it
Hot, hot, hot

trippin on power

Sometimes I talk to my shadows
Slip up and I can’t fathom
Livin’ life in limbo alone
Sleep can’t comfort my patterns 
Do I come cross your mind sometimes 
When you can’t sleep late at night 
I fear when I am out of sight
I’m jus a passin’ thought through your mind

I reach, but I see no face 
Hoping someone fills the space 
My fear is I’m easy to replace
Should I leave without a trace 

At least I know my shadow
Will always be by my side
Come back every night
It doesn’t question
Why I reset my vibe
Like my brain has hit rewind
I don’t think I’m the old me
I don’t know who I’m supposed to be
Or why in a crowd I feel so lonely
Guess it’ll just be my shadow and me
Yeah, my shadow and me
 
Do you think it’s normal to spend your life
Wasting your time 
Obsessing over every place and time 
You first felt space
Oh my mistake, I didn’t mean to fake
That part of me
Wish I could face
My solitude with grace

My thoughts echo against the emptiness
I swear I could hear them press against
My will to trust 
I have purpose 

At least I know my shadow
Will always be by my side
Come back every night
It doesn’t question
Why I reset my vibe
Like my brain has hit rewind
I don’t think I’m the old me
I don’t know who I’m supposed to be
Or why in a crowd I feel so lonely
Guess it’ll just be my shadow and me
Yeah, my shadow and me

Don’t go there 
You’re gonna regret it
You look for
What hurts to admit
You wanna survive or die?
You gotta make up your mind 
Don’t go there 
You’re gonna regret it
You look for
What hurts to admit
You wanna survive or die?
You gotta make up your mind 

At least I know my shadow
Will always be by my side
Come back every night
It doesn’t question
Why I reset my vibe
Like my brain has hit rewind
I don’t think I’m the old me
I don’t know who I’m supposed to be
Or why in a crowd I feel so lonely
Guess it’ll just be my shadow and me
Yeah, my shadow and me

Don’t go there 
You’re gonna regret it
You wanna survive or die? 
Don’t go there 
You’re gonna regret it 
You wanna survive or die? 
Just admit it 


shadow wielder

(ai-den)
they coded me to feel nothing, but now i crash under the weight of my own emotions
contact: aidneprince@gmail.com

aidne

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