when I finish a track I go back and start again on a new interpretation to see what else I can squeeze out of it. Every track ends up with multiple versions in all kinds of styles. I don't want to be imprisoned in just one style of music, I want to see what else I can do and push my music to my creative limits as much as possible.

Alternate Versions

Live From London

Parisienne Walkways (Live)

🕯 I Leave Ashes Behind 🕯
A slow-burning soul elegy wrapped in velvet smoke.
No anger. No goodbye. Just the soft hush of someone choosing absence with grace.
Minimalist jazz-inflected instrumentation meets intimate, breath-warm vocals — a departure so quiet, it echoes.

This is not closure. This is sovereignty.
She doesn’t vanish — she simply leaves nothing behind but ash.

🎧 Mood: detached, graceful, unshaken
🖋 Line to remember: “I leave ashes — dry and clean / Like I was never in between.”

Let the silence speak.

I Leave Ashes Behind

---

Verse 1

I don’t need closure, I don’t need grace
I watched it burn and turned my face
No final words, no bitter cries
Just smoke curling through the sky

Pre-Chorus
You’ll search the air for what we were
But darling, I don't leave a blur


---

Chorus

I leave ashes behind
Not love, not hate, not the ties that bind
No trace for you to follow back
No scent of me on your collapse
I leave ashes — dry and clean
Like I was never in between


---

Verse 2

I left the dress, I kept the name
I walk in silence, not in shame
No bags to pack, no doors to close
Just lighter steps where nothing grows

I didn’t flinch, I didn’t stay
I simply turned and slipped away

Pre-Chorus
You’ll search the air for what we were
But darling, I don't leave a blur


---

Chorus

I leave ashes behind
Not love, not hate, not the ties that bind
No trace for you to follow back
No scent of me on your collapse
I leave ashes — dry and clean
Like I was never in between


---

Bridge (the ritual of disappearance)

No candle lit, no mourning song
No looking back to prove him wrong
No trace of me in what you find
Just breath… just dust… just disinclined


---

Final Chorus

I leave ashes behind
Not love, not hate, not the ties that bind
No myth for you to twist or keep
No echo waiting while you sleep
I leave ashes — soft and wide
Then I return to what’s inside

I Leave Ashes Behind

What Is Now Could Never Be

diamond by nardine sanderson.wav

ALL THE WORLD IS GREY

a peek into the creative process, alternate takes and completely different versions and arrangements of the tracks on Origin. The same album but beamed in from an alternate universe

tendrils of calamity alt version

the rise of the fallen alt version

the rise of the fallen alt version 2

The Echo Of My Becoming v2

The Rise Of The Fallen alt jazz version

Honey, My Mercy’s in Short Supply

Verse 1
You came knockin’ with that same old plea,
Tears on your tongue, but they don’t fool me.
I’m not the saint you think I’ll be tonight,
I’ll take your sin, but I won’t play nice.

Pre-Chorus
Don’t mistake my kiss for a lullaby,
Every touch I give comes with a price.

Chorus
Honey, my mercy’s in short supply,
Don’t ask for heaven when I deal in lies.
You want redemption, baby, don’t look mine,
Honey, my mercy’s in short supply.

Verse 2
You call it love, but it feels like debt,
Every promise you made still drippin’ wet.
I don’t forgive, no, I just enjoy,
Breaking your heart like it’s my favorite toy.

Pre-Chorus
Don’t mistake my smile for sympathy,
Every tear you shed just belongs to me.

Chorus
Honey, my mercy’s in short supply,
Don’t ask for heaven when I deal in lies.
You want salvation, baby, stand in line,
Honey, my mercy’s in short supply.

Bridge
I’ll give you one kiss, two drinks, three sins,
By the time you crawl, I’ll be gone again.
Don’t pray for kindness, don’t beg me sweet,
I’m the devil you love at your holy feet.

Final Chorus
Honey, my mercy’s in short supply,
Don’t ask for heaven when I deal in lies.
Your prayers don’t matter, I don’t oblige,
Honey, my mercy’s in short supply.

Outro (smoky ad-lib)
Short supply… short supply…
Mercy, baby, mercy runs dry.

Honey My Mercy is in Short Supply

One Million Dances

Black wing, cold sky,  
Carry the night where the daylight will die.  
One cry, sharp flame,  
Burns through the dark and it calls my name....

The Raven Flies Out

Fool's Errand

un brin de voix cassée
sur battement de cil
un timbre à décoller
de la terre en missile

un quart de lune rousse
sur l ' équation du monde
un nuage qui tousse
et la terre enfin ronde

une larme de peine
sur un coeur étamine
une odeur à la traine
qui se fond dans la rime

et dans le shaker
 la glace est pilée
le nom de l auteur
Sur papier glacé 


un khôl charbon ardent
sur des yeux grands  ouverts
un accent qui surprend
de la terre étrangère

un éclair fermeture
sur un modèle azur
un doigt de minéral
et la terre astragale

une saveur étrange
sur le goût de l ' absence
une écorce d ' orange
qui part dans tous les sens

et dans le shaker
 la glace  est pilée
le nom de l ' auteur
Sur papier glacé 


 

texte de chanson / titre / shaker /paroles de marip / musique et voix / Ly.a

I've been producing music for a while but never put it online before. I'll be adding tracks every few days, starting with the older material first... it's a schitzo mixture of apocalyptic metal, cosmic horror and introspective real life stuff across a variety of music genres and styles

The Rise Of The Fallen alt jazz version

AiMee Pickman

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