ive been blackpilled
ive been depressed
close my blinds
so i see the sun less
waking up at 2:30
i think i need some more rest

ive been blackpilled
ive been depressed
i quit instagram
so ill see ur face less

i sit alone
all my friends are here
well not anymore
all my friends are gone
and so am i
and so are u

im just freaking worthless
im just a dumb piece of shit
ill go
silence is
ill go
silence is
silence is killing me

https://soundcloud.com/melodyx_o
i just want to be somebody that i’m proud of now
but it’s okay
all my friends are fucking gone
nobody responds to my texts now
and i thought it was okay
because i had you each day
someone that i thought i fucking loved
but you suck so much it hurts
i wish you the fucking worst
and now i have nobody fucking else
else

nobody else to be with me
nobody else can see
exactly how i feel
exactly how i feel
and i don’t know
exactly how i feel, i feel like i’m not real

i want to fucking die
all of my friends are gone
and so’s the one i love
the one that i thought was
somebody who was good

1943 w/luvwillow

homicidal thoughts (watergirl75 cover)

me
i will sell my soul
just so u will kill urself
dont ask me about my mental health
running around ye im feeling stealth

ur an egoistic loser
ur a fucking poser
goth girl got a fucking choker
12 cigs in my pack im a smoker

zoey
skinny slut will u be mine
get in my car and ill eat ur behind
she just wanna fuck
I just wanna do a line
ill fuck up ur spine
u asked me out and i said its abt time
dont fuck with ur friends but that's fine
ye that's fine 
now thats fine

me
i will sell my soul
just so u will kill urself
dont ask me about my mental health
running around ye im feeling stealth

ur an egoistic loser
ur a fucking poser
goth girl got a fucking choker
12 cigs in my pack im a smoker

emo chick and she fucking all up on me
i know that she wants me
shes just my dirty little slut whore
if u go fuck me close the backdoor

u said that u make scenecore
when u are just a hyperpop fag
eat my dick then go kill urself
go kill urself

12 cigs in my pack im a smoker
ye im a smoker 
ye im a smoker

egoistic loser w/zoey

my touch is all for u
my love is all for u
i know that u dont like me
but u dont have a choice

u totally lead me on
then i asked u out
u said that u dont like me
i know that u dont like me

when u said all that
i wanted to die
when u said all that
i just had to cry
yea i made a scene
but its all ur fault
now ur gonna die
now im gonna die

i tied ur body up
ur corpse still lays in my basement
i kept ur body
just to remember u
i ended ur life
now im gonna end mine

end it all (demo)

u manipulated me 
u hated me
i said i love u
it was all in my head
sometimes i wish i were dead
the knife on my wrist 
is starting to turn red
u couldnt help me
cause u didnt want to
i starved myself for a day
just to feel the pain
its not enough
i just want to put a bullet
in my brain

im not 
not ur schizo
im not
not ur schizo
im not 
not ur schizo
im not 
not ur schizo

im not ur schizo (cheeser tribute)

if only u could see
i thought u were the one for me
I've been really lonely
u said that we were just friends
why cant we be more than friends

i rlly luv u
i rlly luv u
i rlly luv u
i rlly luv u
i know u hate me
i know u hate me
i know u hate me
i know u hate me
why wont u date me
why wont u date me

if only u could see
i thought u were the one for me

i know u hate me

June 2021

caffeine all up in my heart
i wish i could have a fresh start
even though i always seem to fall apart
my head hurts
i just wanna overdose 
but im too scared to pull it off
it seems like i always have to play it off
i dont know what to do abt me and u

ecstasy all up in my body
i just popped a molly
u r a such a hottie
lets stay up and drink coffee

lets please just stay together
just like what feels like forever
i would never
i would never tell
now ur stuck 
now ur stuck underneath my spell
now ur locked 
now ur locked up in my cell

u feel what i feel
stuck inside this instant hell
i am not feeling very well

caffeine all up in my heart
i wish i could have a fresh start
even though i always seem to fall apart
my head hurts
i just wanna overdose 
but im too scared to pull it off
it seems like i always have to play it off
i dont know what to do abt me and u
x2

Caffeine #dedrn

its everything 
i want to do
i wanna be with u
but 
i know i cant be with u

even in the dark 
i feel a spark
i feel your touch
its just enough
i dont know what to do
when i am with u
its all
its all up to me
its all
its all up to me 

its everything i want to do
i want to do
i wanna be with u
but 
i know i cant be with u

i wish i had 3 wishes
all for me
i wish it was all perfect
i wish it was my little wonderland
everything that i like
nothing that i dont
everthing it all fits for me
everything is all for me

its everything i want to do
i want to do
i wanna be with u
but i know i cant be with u

even in the dark 
i feel a spark
i feel your touch
its just enough
i dont know what to do
when i am with u

im a bluepilled loser

older song i made like 5 months ago

shoot my head
i want to die
it really hurts
i need to cry
i cant do this
u loved that guy

ever since she died
ive been thinking
suicide
is my best choice 
  
so then we can come back together
so we can rejoice
i want to die so that
i can hear ur voice
and only once again
i wont be just a friend
it wont ever have to end
we dont need to pretend

shoot my head

shoot my head

i know i always seem to
make you mad
but u never
showed up
to that party

i know it’s my fault partly
but i invited u
u said that u would show up
i knew that u wouldn’t show up

u said that i have to grow up
and that i always act so childish

it’s all 
it’s all up to u
and u choose everything that i do
it’s everything that u like
nothing that i do
nothing that i do
seems to impress u

u act like everything’s perfect
and don’t mention how i tried
to end it
i just wanna fucking die
slit my throat 
and let me cry

u never mention the slits
on my wrists
i asked u for help
and u laughed in my face
like it’s not so serious
yea it’s not so serious 

now that ur blood is on my hands
i loved to see u suffer
wish i could’ve killed u with my own hands

u act like everything’s perfect
and don’t mention how i tried
to end it
i just wanna fucking die
slit my throat 
and let me cry

im a redpilled loser

all the small things cover

ive seen u for a couple days now
and i wanted to ask u for ur cord
but theres this girl that ive kinda liked
but we havent rlly talked that much
and i wuz thinking i couldve asked u out
and i wuz i kinda thinking that u might like me too

u r rlly pretty 
and u r rlly freaking cute
and i wanted to ask u 
for ur number
but i dont have any confidence

guess my life is just fucked
fuck girls
and do more drugs

i want to die

this song wuz started 7 months ago

i wish u were in my bed
 i cant get u out of my head 
u rejected me 
now the wall is red 
sometimes i wish i were dead 
all the things that i said 
all the times that i bled
 i was such a bore 
i wish u were my slut
 i wish u were my whore

XD RAWR
RAWR 
RAWR

i wish u would give me a chance
 why cant u see 
im the one for u
 and youre the one for me

WE WERE MEANT TO BE 
WE WERE MEANT TO BE

why cant u see 
why wont u see

i wish u were in my bed
 i cant get u out of my head 
u rejected me 
now the wall is red 
sometimes i wish i were dead 
all the things that i said 
all the times that i bled
 i was such a bore 
i wish u were my slut
 i wish u were my whore

u r so dumb 
and u make me feel so stupid
to ever freaking think
that i couldve ever been with someone like u

im gonna shoot myself
but before im gonna shoot them all
ill make sure there all dead
ill make sure u regret what u said

Incel

ye im a clown
ye im a clown 
ye im a clown
ye im a clown

ur beautiful eyes
they get me
im in love 
im in love

im in love with you
what am i gonna do
he's in love with you
and ur in love with him
yea it hurts so bad

ur wearing his hoodie 
and u look so happy

im a clown
im a clown 
im a clown
im a clown

his brown hair
ur red dress
i saw you kiss him
before the math test
im starting to love you even less

im so in love with you
but ur not

his brown hair
ur red dress
i saw you kiss him 
before the math test

ye
ye
ye
ye
ye
ye
ye
ye
ye
ye
ye

ye im a clown *demo*

rave rock dance party (dumpster demo)

test3 (demo)

i look in the mirror
i dont like what i see
this doesnt feel like me
i dont wanna be

i dont wanna be
i dont wanna be intoxicated
i wish we never fucking dated
i wish we never fucking dated

i dont wanna be without you
birds fly atop trees
and they see
what you could be
what you could be
without me 
without me

i look in the mirror
i dont like what i see
this doesnt feel like me
i dont wanna be

i dont wanna be
i dont wanna be intoxicated
i wish we never fucking dated
i wish we never fucking dated

Intoxicated

leave your shoes by the doorway
leave everything that you didnt say to me
i wanna walk to that forest
and break all the spider webs that you left

your lipstick’s still in my room
and you forgot your jacket too
i am so in love with you
but your not
no your not

leave your shoes by the doorway
leave everything that you didnt say to me
i wanna walk to that forest
and break all the spider webs that you left

leave your shoes by the doorway
leave everything that you didnt say to me
i wanna walk to that forest
and break all the spider webs that you left

i walked by the lake
everybody was staring at me
i looked in that bottle 
by that cemetery

i saw your ghost
i saw your ghost
i saw your ghost
i saw your ghost
i saw your ghost
i saw your ghost
i saw your ghost
i saw your ghost

forest

ye im a clown instrumental (og speed)

im a redpilled loser instrumental (og speed)

you're a worthless piece of shit! you don't have any sense of identity and I'm unsuccessful in life

i’m a techno loser *cover*

song from literally 3 years ago that i just finsihed

suck my fucking dick 
ur a piece of shit 
would u date me 
just for a little bit

i want a girl from 2009 
pull up to the party 
now 
my diamonds shine 
party girl over there 
and shes super fine
pick her up
drink her blood
like some fucking wine

we go be high
before the sun up
then we go be 
we go be fucking
throwing up
put it in my cup
pills all in my cup
put in my cup
then i go throw it up

partygirlfrom2009 (neio)

blocked (bennwaiting)

know i party all night
idc abt anyone around me
dancin on the dance floor
looking really crazy
i might be crazy

flower in my hand
its a daisy
room so smoky
my eyes is getting hazy
fuck homework
im gonna sleep in my bed
im not lazy

know the radio is playing
you know the speakers are blaring

i got my jacks hat on
take it off 
then i hit the blunt
i be feeling like im #1

am i number one

take a nap
and then i am fucking done
your jokes arent funny
bet you feel really fucking dumb

youre really fucking dumb

punch that man in the face
five fingers
but i only need to use one
hes really fucking weak

been stuck in my basement 
for like a week
take a hit off the blunt
know that shit reek
i just spilt my drink
know that shit leak

my sweatshirt is green
all these people so mean
a dozen cookies in my pocket
plus thirteen

i be feeling like im a queen
speed off fast 
lightning mcqueen

black light in my basement
purple on the floor
now the wall’s growing tall
idc not at all
now the tv is red
is this what it feels like to be dead

i really wish i had some pink shoes
dark blue nail polish on my nails
black hoodie
black pants on
will you craft me a mac and cheese portrait
hands on

Feeling like a queen (prod.Tommet45)

aj 
cut my wrists 
yea u make me wanna die
cut my wrists
cut my hair
suicide is on my team today
i dont even really fucking care
uh 
u are a damn bitch 
i dont even like 
u 
made me suicidal 
cut my wrists

like everyday 
x4

u cant even say that u like me 
i know u hate me
 
thats why i will make it rot 
u fucking make me rot 
i know that u dont like me

zoey
 talk about my problems 
u dont seem to care 
now that u realize it seems to be fair 
kill myself 
but u still dont care 
i feel like a fucking loser 
im done

aj 
cut my wrists 
yea fuck my shit 
she said i liked her 
i dont even know her

zoey 
say that shit too many times 
i cant think of words that rhyme

aj 
she txted me
saying she was suicidal 
left that bitch on read 
go kill yourself 
i dont even really fucking care 
flying im in the air 
kill myself 
play truth or dare 
cut my wrist 
yea cut my hair 
smoking gas im smoking air 
they dont know me 
fuck it 
so i will just leave them

fake suicide girls be like im okay guys on there snap storys + zoey

every time shes on my mind
every time i fucking cry 
sometimes i just wanna die 
idc if u lie

why
why
why do i feel like this

every time that i see her
i just wish i could have more
but i cant

everything is in my head 
i think that im going crazy 
all my dreams are imaginary

every single fucking day
every single fucking day
what am i supposed to say

every single fucking day she is on my mind
but now she is gone

why do i feel like this (yunnygoldz)

i thought that they rlly got me
i thought that they rlly knew me
u promised that u would stay with me
u promised that u rlly loved me

well i guess that everybody just fucking hates me
cause none of them could keep their word to me

everybody
x3

why cant u see that we 
are meant to be
why wont u listen to me

just listen to me
x4

why dont u love me
cause u know that i love u

yea i love u
yea i love u

love me (demo) (atypical boy)

It feels like there all running away 
it feels like I don’t have anybody 
it feels like they all just hate me 
it feels like i am just losing my mind

Is anybody on my side anymore 
i dont think so 
why do they all hate me 
i just wish I could be with her 
but I cant 
guess that’s just how things work 
i don’t understand why u cant be with me

OOOOH
OOOOH

i'm sorry if i wasn't kinda nice
i know you feel nothing but it makes me feel ill
and i want to say
that you keep on my memories

so tell me
why you can't deal with me?
why you can't deal with
why you can't deal with me?
why you can't deal with

OOOOH

i dont understand y u cant be with me 
i wish that u liked me

aj333

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