(prod. idly blare)
feat @greenwood2000

(vacant)
been stuck in my bedroom lately contemplating  
they tell me i need help i dont need saving 
how do u fix a broken soul when thats all what they've known 
they ask what am i scared of i answer i dont know 
maybe its myself or that these walls will close in on me   
oh i falter oh i wonder 
how it feels to b okay is it really how they say  
is it my fault by the way i ponder 
when i go it'll all b over 
gave my heart and soul to the one i owed 

(greenwood)
i'd wait for you to call
so senseless when we talk
think that i've been sick again
i can't tell you what it really is
i was good for like a minute, never lasts though
said you wish that i would listen but i can't so
i could tell you what's been killing me, what's happening
really i wish you could understand like half of it
feeling something broke and worthless
i would travel back and tell myself that you were worth this
face the silence it just feels wrong
hard to blame the sickness, it's been part of me for so long
think i know from where you left off
i would do it different, it's just been so long since we've talked
heavy hand inside a freeze frame
i was focused on just tryna find some meaning
kinda thought you'd always be there
in the mountain air and cedar
i just really want to see her

seclusion (w/ greenwood) (idly blare)

08 [bonus track]

i see the house burn down over nite.
and id relive it all again in another life.. 

lyrics

face me 
the darkness will replace me

/

taste me
im overcooking tryna take heat

/

over done
is this how we are, is it over love

/

im tryna bring light to the things in the dark 
but it seems like it cant get any lower ugh

/

where were u when i called 
7am in the morn.
ran off w/ no notice
i swear i didnt leave those scars..scars

/

wanted its all i wanted x2

/

ik the walls r caving in
we cant b closed we're close to sin
ik the walls r caving in
ik the walls r caving 

/

pouring the gasoline all over the driveway
despite the fact we said we'd b living the right way
pouring whats left of the dark make me sideways 
its burning every edge of my soul in the right way

/

not a thing u could do could unblur in this high state
a fine face 
but no room, yeah no space 
its not much to me if i live well but dont die great

/

im changing, im changing, im changing form
and im changing
im taking off and im spacious
i love it here but i hate it 

/

in this lake i bleed my final form
ur words dont anything to me no more

/

wanted all i wanted was for u to save me
im not sorry, in this one life u cant redo shit

/

i been hella places
but nothing compares to the basics
the simple things in life we take for granted
its so hard to fake it

/

dangerous, but its so dangerous 
in this fucking storm
im taken by the wind
they'll take u in this form

/

theres not much
not much you can do about it 

/
let them take you how u are.
the world will be the same when you're gone.

your former

your-former [bonus track] (empty roads)

I was off pill till recently 
Didn’t know what to do, it almost killed me 
Then I popped another one hoping for saving 
Little did I know I tried but nothing comes cleans 
When I’m off of the drugs I feel amazing 
Faded while I’m drinking everybody see me hazing 
I was drunk or high when I wrote stargazing 
Only got worse when I really started dating 
Venting all my feelings on a track is nothing new 
So I dunno what I can do if I’m not living by the noose 
Cuz I every time felt something like love memories came loose 
Visceral reaction my body hated me to 
And everybody said something about the way I think
I don’t like the way I been feeling if you don’t disagree 
Evidently I been up to something that’s what everybody saying 
So I might as well just do it if Im really people pleasing 
Look to other people if I’m tryna get some meaning 
People say they love me but I can’t tell if they mean it 
Every time they say it usually ends up that they’re leaving 
I can’t do this anymore this something that I am not beating
But the only thing I can do is put my hand in the bottle 
If I pop another pill I swear everything will settle 
Then I’ll smoke a ton until I cannot feel a thing at all
I’d rather feel nothing than everything I don’t care if it’s wrong 

Yeah, I, don’t, want, something like this to happen to me 
Hurt deep down truly 
Smoke a ton leaf 
I can barely breathe 

Don’t know how to breathe when I’m around you 
I been looking for the one and I found you 
Wasn’t looking for the love but was bound to 
Said I need another plug to surround you 
I don’t wanna do drugs, not fun 
Smoke a lot of weed though, I’m done 
I don’t wanna think when the weed runs out 
Yeah super stressed out so I fucking drink now 
Hide my emotion with anger 
No one to talk to but strangers 
Got so much shit on my mental 
So much of that shit I can’t handle 
So I drown in my sorrow I can’t move
You know you got the love that I can’t lose 
I can’t take pain so death call on my name 
With all of this drank I think I’ll go insane 
These broken up memories scatter my brain
While doing these drugs I got nothing to gain
Made one song it went viral then I couldn’t do it anymore and spiraled 
Kinda got stuck up then I idled 
It’s getting harder to make music it’s vital

drugs are good for the soul (feat. wokely)(kerosin.wav)

(You're always..) 
When will you move on
(Holding on)
Please I'm sick of it..

I gave my heart and my soul
I let you take it all
The darkness it evolved
I thought you said that it'd go?
Please leave this isn't your home
(Please just go)

I've got nothing left to spare
My bones you've scraped, I'm aware
That you want so much more
But I won't be your whore

Oh you've had me for years
I'm done screaming through tears
You always whisper in my ear
I've bled too much, how am I here?

You broke me apart
Now I feel like a spare piece
Open my heart
See the memories of us
I just can't cope with the way this is going
I remember the days we would bloom love was flowing

Now I'm floating down, in a river on my own
Trapped inside these paper walls
Metaphorically alone
Just consider what you've done
And maybe change your mind before I go
'Cause I'm not coming back
Until this fairytale is over now

I've had enough with you inside my body
Reject your presense but you never resign 
Always lurking in the night

I've had enough telling others it's not me
Had enough crying abt how u got me
No you ain't got me, no more 

I've got nothing left to spare
My bones you've scraped, I'm aware
That you want so much more
But I won't be your whore

Oh you've had me for years
I'm done screaming through tears
You always whisper in my ear
I've bled too much, how am I here?

Gears are turning
I keep learning
Not to trust those around me
I'm just hurting
I'm such a burden
I'm lost at sea and I'm drowning

I'm beat up and bruised
Keep on being abused
I'm just fighting for my life
and I don't want to lose
Burry me, carry me
Tell me I'm okay
You kick me when I'm down but
I grew up this way

I've got nothing left to spare
My bones you've scraped, I don't care
I will mend my soul, my body will be whole

You may have had me for years
But I'm done screaming through tears
You always whispered in my ear
I've bled so much, but I'm still here

spare ft. Vails x Lunalis (prod. PartyAtTheMoonTower)

made with gang: @breckenford and @yagirlbunny
cover art by: @eepysnore on tiktok

lyrics:

yung bunn <3

[koba]

i don’t wanna do this all over again
cause it feels like i’ve been here a thousand times
and you know the past, it catches up quick
so run away
cause you’re slowly running out of time

i don’t wanna feel this way
i don’t feel your love
imma pop another bean
comatose when im drunk
two weeks, two months,
another pill, another blunt
i got smoke in my lungs
tryna hit my phone
say what’s up

(@miserygxrden collective <3)

[brecken]

but i wont tell you anything its over
U rip me apart made me go sober
made me think that if i did it id grow closer

and now you wont be there when i get older
yea we been running out of time
you jus take my hand and well go across the street
Baby there’s no plan theres no time we gotta meet
i wanted it all to work out
i gave you everything but you just shout
got such a loud mouth

[koba]

i don’t wanna do this all over again
cause it feels like i’ve been here a thousand times
and you know the past, it catches up quick
so run away
cause you’re slowly running out of time

i don’t wanna feel this way
i don’t feel your love
imma pop another bean
comatose when im drunk
two weeks, two months,
another pill, another blunt
i got smoke in my lungs
tryna hit my phone
say what’s up

i got too much love in my heart for you
cant you see im trying to kill you?
i’m just tryna do it slowly
hold my hand in matrimony

running outta time w/ brecken

prod. idly blare
lyrics

oh hows ur head doing baby
cuz u burned a hole thru mine
at the end of the day we all want more time
so no sleeping
baby im daydreaming
thinking bout better days
praying for a better way

i miss smoking tobacco
i gave u my gun with no ammo
just to see what u would do if one day i let go
u pulled the trigger back n hurt me little by little
its fucked up but nowadays dont sleep at all
im paranoid that one day u wont catch my fall
i kno its all my fault
but i gotta finish what i started
i dont even like recording make me sick to my stomach
i dont like what i make
n i dont like how u say that u like what i make
happy birthday
hope u got what u wanted
so happy
but i continue falling

oh hows ur head doing baby
cuz u burned a hole thru mine
at the end of the day we all want more time
so no sleeping
baby im daydreaming
thinking bout better days
praying for a better way

your eyes can actually shoot lasers if you try hard enough (idly blare)

prod. geam x kill breanna
i hope yall like this style a lil atleast..  i enjoyed making it <3

it sucks to know everything i fucking know
not really thooo... !
and im comfortable that i never found another road!
aye, yeah yeah..
i was never comfortable or pleased
p t s d of saying: "its not what it seems!"
im still sorry for the times that i was mean
home; you're still my everything.
and yeah i just wanna be me, but who the fuck is that?
i wake up everyday, and i hope for my future back
i know i cant live without pack, life is bleak when not on gas
im oblivious, and i like it that way<3
it sucks to know everything i fucking know
not really thooo... !
and im comfortable that i never found another road!
aye, yeah yeah..
im tryna be comfortable in me! 
a d h d; i dont know what that means! ;/
did i mention im not me?
youre still my everything..🤞🏻

comfortable/i like it that way

Lyrics :

And home 
Is no matter where you go
No matter where you stay
There's a place to come through 
When you need something.

And I keep trying to work this out
But all the words in my head
Can't leave my mouth
So I feel lost.
Lost without you, feel like I've been used

But I'll keep going again
Need myself when I need a friend
And I'll get high to feel again
Sit in my room and play pretend

Cause the words that you had said
Burned in my heart, so the pain can't mend
And I don't like to face the end
It's just hard to see it's dead.

But I can't lie
I need closure
It's just hard 
To think it's over
Wish you'd come here
Need you closer
But I have to let go.

But I have to let go. (x4)

But I have to let,
Let you
Go.

SPOTIFY

Let You Go

literally the first thing i listened to this year

thirty dollar t shirt i might as well die in it (glaive cover)

LYRICS:
I said "You peaked in high school"
Well I peaked on the side of the freeway at 3 a.m.
Happy new year
Mark the new start of a mess that we created
So I've been drinkin' too much and it's been eatin' me up
How I'm just dying to see you
Not even keepin' in touch
Just losing time
Got bad at hiding our feelings
I know you've seen it enough
And you had tried to fix me
As I used my mind against me
And I tried so hard for this
Everything I never wanted
And anything to push her farther
I guess I've gotta die a little bit to feel alive

And I just wanna get past this point of life
Tried to rip it like a bandage, so tell me why
It still feels the way it has been after all this time
You can see it in my eyes when I keep it all inside
'Til the memories get me pastsick
Nothing good has ever lasted
But its Better said and done than if I hadn't
Past tense
Sweeter than molasses, but surely it was bad if it's a habit
Surely it was bad if it's a habit
Surely it was bad

I guess I'm just a dumb fuck kid
I've got a guilty conscience
I fall in love with toxic then I wonder how we got this far along
I never thought that I would start the new year with "I never wanna see you again"
But I can't seem to get you out of my head
and I've gotten kinda sick of all the stress
And I hate to say it, but I don't think we'll make it
So I guess you're just another new regret

And as hard as it may be it's for the best
And as hard as it may be

Ya, I just wanna get past this
I tried to rip it like a bandage
But it still feels the way it has been after all this time
You can see it in my eyes when I keep it all inside
'Til the memories get me pastsick
Nothing good has ever lasted
But its Better said and done than if I hadn't
Past tense
Sweeter than molasses, but surely it was bad if it's a habit

Ya, past tense
Sweeter than molasses, but surely it was bad if it's a habit

Let You Go

akalilwave

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