when i'm with you, everything makes sense
i'm not held back by premonition
and i can breathe in and out

and my eyes, they look up at you
and my hands, they stop shaking too
and my smile sees the light

oh you're my life, you're my life
so please don't die

don't die
don't die

written by and violins done by me:)
production, mixing, and mastering done by wander!

when i'm with you (slowed) w/ wander all winter

"all i ever wanted was you
all i ever got was the truth

i'm so sorry for asking you to love 
someone so difficult

but it's not fair 
how much i gave
to someone who left me to... break

to someone who left me to... 
to someone who left me to 

(break) 
(break)"

credits: 
written, composed, and violins done by me :)
produced, mixed, and mastered by grant fontyn aka wander all winter

all i ever wanted was you

"show me things i cant see
oh love me madly

oh i can be reckless, i can give up
all of my color to someone else

but i can't be standing here full of love
and watching you smile by yourself

i'm turning blue, i'm turning blue
oh everything is stained from you

i'm turning blue, i'm turning blue
oh everything is stained from you"

this song is so special to me. thank you for listening!!!

credits:
written, composed, and violins done by me:)
mixing, production, and mastering by grant fontyn aka "wander all winter"

turning blue :/

Oh my baby you're making it harder,
I'm running low don't think I'll be alright
Tonight, tonight (ooh)

I can't go on anymore pretending
I might be here but inside I'm sinking
Down, down

Oh my baby you're- oh my baby you're- oh my baby you're-
Oh my baby you're- oh my baby you're- oh my baby-

Oh how I want you to take me higher
Can't accept the truth, I'm hiding from myself again

I can't go on anymore pretending
I might be here but inside I'm sinking
Down, down

Oh my baby you're- oh my baby you're- oh my baby you're-
Oh my baby you're- oh my baby you're- oh my baby-
Oh my baby you're- oh my baby you're- oh my baby-

higher

what can i give up for you to see me as,
as the one?
can i be the one?
can i be the one? the one?

can i be the one (voice memo)

hello? hello? hello?
are you there...again
i'd just like to know...
i'd just like to know...

hello? (demo)

oh how i wish u could help me see the person that i wanna be
maybe if i wasn't so unsure, i'd be fine to see you leave

don't come down, don't come down, 
i can't stand another sound of you drowning

broken angels. (demo)

tell me all your darkest secrets 
ill tell you mine
no need to hide yet 
you can lay here with me 
and watch the sky 
bleed into nightfall 

why they coming after us? 
precious vulnerability 
oh it’s killing me 

tell me all your darkest secrets 
and i promise 
i won’t let go

why they coming after us?
precious vulnerability 
oh it’s killing me (tell me all)

tell me your 
darkest secrets 
and i’ll tell you mine

darkest secrets slowed (w/ wander all winter)

take me in your hands 
don’t break me in your plans
i just hate keeping it in
 
even if it that means
i’ll be repeating your words
cutting deeper every turn
all i have left is a curse 

i asked, i asked god for a sign
and your car passes by
leave my torn up heart behind


hold me, hold me gently
mold me as you’re needing
slowly, come and catch me
baby, i’m collapsing 

i know we had a reason
felt like i traced your secrets
how do i keep on breathing when i turned everything gray for you

pretend i’m okay
i don’t need you to feel safe
sink in oceans of my pain
staring at the sky
fitting pieces of the world
wondering, will it ever work?
never present cause it burns

i asked, i asked god for a sign
and your car passes by
leave my torn up heart behind

hold me, hold me gently
mold me as you’re needing
slowly, come and catch me
baby, i’m collapsing 

i know we had a reason
felt like i traced your secrets
how do i keep on breathing when i turned everything gray for you

🌚 🌚 🌚

written by me:)

produced and mixed by grant fontyn aka "wander all winter"

gray...

it’s scary knowing i can’t love right
cling to voids that hide me from the daylight
a little bit of you fix a little bit of me
no need for promises, don’t need a shocking leave

there’s people like him who i wholly adore
he says such sweet things, he opens the door
he cradles my weaknesses, phobias unlearned 
but all i think is you, it’s you i deserve

he helps me and heals my heart down 
but i still stand back for your rounds
every night i fall asleep
praying you don’t haunt my dreams

and maybe if i was indifferent
i wouldn’t wear my soul down, begging 
cause i dont really know how to say that
i dont love him

and maybe if u didnt break dishes
cause i wasn’t the girl you wanted,
then i wouldn’t be damned inside my inside my head
and i could love, and i could love him

(and i could love him, and i could love him, and i could love him)

i punish myself for having a heart
envisioning the grand awaited depart
can’t wait to see what you take from me
and watch myself mourn all the memories

he helps me and heals my heart down 
but i still stand back for your rounds
every night i fall asleep
praying you don’t haunt my dreams

and maybe if i was indifferent
i wouldn’t wear my soul down, begging 
cause i dont really know how to say that
i dont love him

and maybe if u didnt break dishes
cause i wasn’t the girl you wanted
then i wouldn’t be damned inside my inside my head
and i could love, and i could him

indifferent

open my eyes to desolate crimes
you’re on fire, lost in a nightmare
and you might oblige i not criticize
internalize and move on
cauterize the trouble

pieces of you in pieces of me
hopelessly devoted to misery
can’t outrun tragedies designed as healing blessings

cause when u say youre dead to me i cry
like theres nothing left of me and i try
not to let you get the best of me
but im lying if i said there was a remedy, a remedy, a remedy

im used to lementing our younger selves
and when you are drowning i’m too lost to help
the angel who would listen, her life was your reason
died along the way, became distant, locked in hatred

when pieces of you slit pieces of me
i started to realize with you, i couldn’t breathe
you were honest in your pain, your hurt i cannot blame, but that doesn’t mean i could handle all the crashing planes

cause when u say youre dead to me i cry
like theres nothing left of me and i try
not to let you get the best of me
but im lying if i said there was a remedy, a remedy, a remedy

no one here is evil
toxin’s in the default
thought we were forever
as i decorate a new home

we were so beautiful
it’s as strange as it comes
to let go of what you thought was going to heal you from the world

remedy - alternate version

if ur reading this, automatic hi five much lovee

can i be the one (voice memo)

Alexa Cirri

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