2018 was a year of completion. I finished my relationship with higher education, graduating with an MFA in Writing, got my heart broken by someone who I thought I was going to marry, moved out of my first apartment in Brooklyn to travel with my family before making my way back to Singapore - where I spent a month in confusion - do I move back to NYC? Stay in Singapore? Move to Oregon? 

Between living at home (something that was not mentally sustainable for me), receiving the downloads while I was in Hawaii about needing to end the production of plastic and the truth that was calling in my heart, I decided that I was going to pack my guitar (the same guitar my dad got me when I was 13), buy a one way ticket to America and pursue music. 

I didn't know what "pursuing music" meant - except that I had been writing music since I was 12, silently hoarding all of them on tiny cassette tapes, playing a random gigs between the ages of 15-17, being in bands where the guys needed a singer but ended up stealing my songs and band names (none of which were that good), and eventually melting myself into the world of Musical theatre and between the ages of 17-19. 
That was 2011. Almost no one knew I was writing music for 12 years, not even the people I dated. 

I believe that it was this aspect of myself that moved me to Tennessee, This secrecy that I could no longer hold onto demanded that I get right with myself. Friendships were ending, romantic partners were falling away, I was getting fired from almost every job, (or quitting because it was not in harmonic resonance with my soul i.e real estate), something had to be made right. I knew I could not continue until I understood exactly what music wanted with me. With a stroke of luck and bravery, I managed to buy a 1993 Dodge Ram van, stuffed it with my instruments, clothes, a few cooking things and half of my book collection. (The rest are sitting in a shed in Long Island) After a short stint in New Jersey, Micah and I climbed into the nameless van and set sail for Tennessee. I gave myself 5 months to finish the outstanding projects. It is May, 2022. I still have A-Side of this album to record, 4 chapbooks, a short children's story, a short non-fiction piece, and a boardgames to complete before I'm able to truly be done with my time here. 

Yet, what is this rush that is calling me back? To where am I supposed to leave the woods for? What is demanding of my energy so desperately that I feel this surge of urgency to "get these things done"? Idk but I have a feeling it has something to do with my Singapore conditioning - another aspect within myself that I am learning to un-learn, slow down, realize that I am alive and in a body that has needs, a spirit that needs silence, and a heart that needs deep, meaningful relationships that is grounded in soul work. 

It's almost been a whole Jupiter cycle in my sun sign since I left Singapore when I was 19. I am half way done with this album compilation. I wanted to release this side of the album first because I needed to wrap things up. Time was moving in a way was making it harder for me to justify dragging this process out + I needed to stay accountable to myself (to complete something when I say I will complete it, (thank you Singapore conditioning) 

This album is a beehive of love. An ode to the old, a nod to the new, and a peace sign to what is. 

Full Album Description on Bandcamp:
https://ana-not-ana.bandcamp.com/album/everything-is-pencil-b-side

-- 
Music by Ana Not Ana 
Lyrics by Ana Not Ana 
Production by Ana Not Ana 
Album Cover by CK 
Mix and Mastered by Alex Talhinhas

---

Splinters (Everything is Pencil)B - Side

Avery - (Everything is Pencil)B - Side

Wrote this during a fast in May 2022 when I living in the woods with Micah. 

--- 
LYRICS:  

Sandcastles lay down your shields 
Movements across open oceanic fields 
You got lost along the way baby 
I was with you 
I was with you 
The whole way 

Even when they didn’t understand 
Spoke over ignored your hand
Raised up in the back of the room 

Told you you weren’t good enough 
I laughed and said 
Ha ha ha ha ha 
For who? 

Casted their shadows 
I watched you internalize 
But you 
Always saved yourself 
By coming through 
Always saved yourself by never giving up on you 

Did you ask them if they 
Brought their floaty things 
We don’t want them 
Drowning in your 
Deep waters 
Deep waters 
Deep waters 
Did you find what you were looking for 
With me

Light on your face 
Dancing on the sidewalk 
With harman and myrtle 
Where you used to 
Give your love away 
Who never stayed 
That’s okay 
It was another yesterday 

Blue ticks left on seen 
Ghosted you and me 
But they 
Always wanna come back 
Eventually 

Blue ticks left on seen 
Ghosted you and me 
But they 
Always wanna come back 
Eventually 

Did you ask them if they 
Brought their floaty things 
We don’t want them 
We don’t want them 
Drowning 

You have a tendency to go deeper 
To go deeper than they’re used to 
You have a tendency 
They often get left behind 

Deep waters 
Deep waters 
Deep waters 
There is no malice in my heart 
I know you feel it 
I know you feel it too 
I only know what I’ve been given 
I only see what I’ve been shown 
The beyond the beyond the beyond 
Is the beyond 
The beyond the beyond the beyond 
Is the beyond 
The beyond the beyond the beyond 
Is the beyond

Deep Waters

Buffalo__(Not Mastered)

A RICKAShay.my God Doesnt Want Me To Be A Broke Bitch

COSMIC_Travel Narrator_SelfTape

Drummer - Nate Harris
Guitarist - Evan Harris 
Lyrics, Melody and Vocals - Hannah Ana
Bass - Mike Tierney 
Producer - Mike Tierney 


Lyrics

Oh- 
I fell in love with another part of you
I never thought I’d be another type of fool for you 
I pushed myself around my body is burnt and bruised 
In all the ties in all the worlds I never thought it’ll be you
You see the birds they fly high 
See the birds they fly high 
Another dream another wonder why
You Blue blue sky
Have you ever wondered where the clouds go to pray? 
How they decide to come out and play 
What about the sun?
Did we always have just one?
What about the moon? 
We’re gonna feed everyone soon. 
What about the stars?
Have you laid beneath them recently? 
Did they tell you who you are?
Were you listening closely?
You see the birds they fly so high 
See the birds they fly so high 
Another dream another wonder why
You blue blue blue sky
How you go, and I’ll stay
We’ll be with each other someday 
Right where we left off that day

Love-Side

BIRDS

Folk synth electronica blues 90s punk singer songwriter from 🛸

Ana Not Ana

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