i can say I know how you feel cuz I don't but those emotions are my life 

This is Part II of the Hey. [SERIES]. 

Lyrics:

Oct. 28, 2018 — 6:42 PM 

Hey. 

I uh... 
I don't know how to say this, 
But, um... 
Can we talk? 
Can I talk to you? 
I'm kinda going through a lot. 
I just need someone. 
I need help. 
Is it selfish to say that I want? 
I want peace. 
I want an outlet. 
I want an escape. 
I want to die. 
Everyday, it hurts to live. 
To wake up and make up.
To eat and drink 
To write and draw 
To train and work 
To speak and think
To move and breathe 
To see others laugh and smile. 
I feel as if I'm hopeless. 
Worthless.
As if I have no purpose. 
Is it just me? 
Because I feel so alone. 
So lost. 
So broken. 
So beaten down. 
So bound down. 
Chained down. 
Maybe it's my pride 
My reliance on strength 
Maybe it's my anxiety 
Or my depression 
Or my suicidal thoughts 
Maybe I thought wrong. 
Maybe everyone else is right.
We always seek to be 
With the right people. 
Sometimes, they're close.
But most, they seem so distant. 
People talk about being saved
Like it's life's meaning.  
But what if its not about that? 
I'd rather save others than 
Be saved myself. 
Maybe it's the reason why 
I feel so worthless. 
So out of place. 
I don't belong here. 
I don't belong with all of you. 
More often than not, 
I want to die. 
I want to kill myself. 
It doesn't matter how it's done. 
I just want to be done with life. 
It feels like I don't matter. 
I don't really exist. 
But I guess that's fine. 
That's okay. 
I don't know if it really is. 
I just want to say that 
I'm sorry. 
I apologize for making you 
Think that you knew me. 
I gave off chill vibes, 
But I was going through hell. 
Heck, I still am. 
And I don't know how to reach out. 
My whole life, I've been 
Alienated from everyone else. 
Ignored by those who I thought 
Would be the closest. 
But it's all good. 
Maybe I'm just bad at 
Being a friend. 
I'm sorry for that. 
Maybe I'm just too full of myself. 
Maybe life isn't worth living. 
Y'know, these past few days, 
I've thought of so many things. 
Most, you'd consider to be 
Depressing or sad. 
And you might be right. 
But I'm done with life. 
Done with family and friends 
Done with quality and quantity 
Done with time and balance 
Because there's nothing 
Worth living for. 
I'm sorry if I've wasted your time. 
Put it on my list of crimes. 
Frame me and shame me. 
I probably deserve it. 
It's funny because my life's a joke.
My words go through one ear and 
Out the other. 
I'm the other. 
In the corner, isolated. 
On the edge of being traded. 
Imagine having friends that 
Checked up on you everyday. 
I try to do that to mine, but 
No one wants to do the same. 
I guess everyone 
Wants to be different. 
Deviating from the rest. 
Just hold me close. 
Let me know what I mean to you. 
Because there may or 
May not be another time. 
Maybe time's our worst enemy. 
You may never see me again. 
And if you do, I won't be alive 
To hear you or see you. 
You see, perception of reality. 
The brutal realization of a fatality.
Battling a mental casualty. 
Physically scarred. 
It's so hard. 
I'm struggling to just be. 
I’m struggling to just exist.

Hey. 

Hey. [Part II]

Spoken word poet. Struggling in silent letters.




---
All work that I have released and posted are written, edited, and performed by Andrew Choo. Copyright License by Creative Commons (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/).

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