LYRICS:

There should be candy hearts for
People who’ve been together 20 years
And their romance has evolved into routine

Like:
What’s for dinner?
Where’re my car keys?
Is the dishwasher clean or dirty?
I love you, I love you too,
Your feet are so fucking cold

When you’re twenty-two
Intimacy means fucking constantly
But when you’re forty-four, it’s
I hope we die together, please don’t ever leave me

There should be candy hearts for
People who’ve been together 20 years
“Be mine” becomes bemoaning
How you always miss the hamper with your socks

So be my valentine
And be my emergency contact
Be my primary beneficiary,
Tooth fairy, Easter bunny and Santa too

This heart-shaped box of chocolates
That I bought at a gas station on my way to work
Sat in the car all day
But you were probably gonna give it to the kid anyway

There should be candy hearts for
People who’ve been together 20 years
Like, let’s make love on Tuesday 
If there’s nothing good on TV

I still like you
We’re okay
We’ve got a teenager and a 401k
Be my baby
Take a chance
You’re a snappy dresser but I love you in sweatpants
You’re my sweetheart
You’re my home
You piss me off sometimes, but it beats being alone
There is nothing that a candy heart could say
That articulates the way I think about you every day

Candy Hearts

Andy Adelewitz