partially inspired from https://soundcloud.com/flatroomvr/to-the-stars-2023-version

it gets so hard to talk to u, u moved an hour away
now i have to wait a week or so to go and see ur face
the journey takes up time and gas, but it’s all worth the wait
cause i wanna leave my hometown, i don’t care how long it takes

the things i do to try and make it work
the scars reopened, and it starts to hurt 
blood runs from the wound and stains my shirt
i guess i never learned, i guess i never learned

im so glad u could come along, ur just in time for the end of the world 
we can go and sing a song, or we can watch as the ocean unfurls
chunks of rock are raining from the sky
i should be frightened, but i start to cry
even though this is the last of my life
im glad to spend it with u by my side

the things i do to try and make it work
the scars reopened, and it starts to hurt 
blood runs from the wound and stains my shirt
i guess i never learned, i guess i never learned

the things i do to try and make it work
the scars reopened, and it starts to hurt 
blood runs from the wound and stains my shirt
i guess i never learned, i guess i never learned

my eyes are glazed over a lack of sleep
my mind’s is racing, maybe there’s still hope for me
the tide is closing in around my feet
i think i finally know what’s wrong with me

ill scale the mountain i see in my dreams
drowning in words, falling apart at the seams
ill find a way out, i didn’t think that i would get this far
if i go high enough, i think ill make it to the stars

reprieve (outro)

prod. me 

lyrics:
do you even recall my name - my name
do you even feel the breath of air you speak
was it really worth all the pain - the pain
did you ever know me? break my brain
hold my hand
but all i can see is the shadow beside you and
it calls for me
we can't go back yet you still stand at the edge of the world
parlay with your life until
the light behind us starts to fall
eventide holds on to you
it won't let go until we're done here
bequeath all you own
it won't stay your home
hold close to let go
become echoes
the world you once had
watch it fade to black
you're still all I have but I can't grab you
recollect my thoughts from all your shattered words
splinter in my brain all I say just hurts
take a picture before you forget it all
it takes pain to heal again

gash upon my skin
let the shadows inside
of where i live where I still feel safe
hole in my feelings
can you feel it there?
it's all your fault now
I can't feel can you
it still hurts me too
does it hurt you
do you love me do you feel pain 

was I nothing

you told me to not forget
I'll stand watch as the world ends
everything you said was wrong
but you knew that all along
"you love me, do you trust me?"
do you love do you trust do you feel me here
everyone just hurts sometimes but
I think pain can still break a heart
scales sway as you play with my love
feel it's beat go out and in and
do you even care anymore
cause you have no place in this world
did you
did you 
did you feel did you

the world ends with you

basket case

stream

cover art by my older sibling, @squid_express on tiktok, instagram, and twitter

lyrics:

throw down the keys on the table
playing it down's getting played out
put on a new shirt when i'm able 
with a year's old stain, still looks the same

human condition loops endlessly; it sticks to my skin
is that all you got
patterns in my arms
you're totally full of it

i'll grow a new lung when i'm able 
an endless refrain: back to square one
if i'm nothing but lazy and stable 
why does my old pain still ache the same

stare out the window
losing my purpose, i stand there for hours 
show me what you got
circles 'round my eyes
yeah i must be full of it 

my headache's eating all my words again
you got a problem it must be my fault
sorry for being vain, you need your space
there's ringing in my ears and screeches in the dark
she lets her cassette record everything
so she can record her mistakes and play her part 
but all she hears is every mess she's made
and again she marks the progress on her arm

my feet are swollen and my arms are sore 
stare at the razor i left sitting on the floor
i bite my tongue and fight the art again
whatever i wanted just wasn't in the cards
she watches all her work coagulate 
the hollow noises eating at her start to fade
rewinds her cassette and restarts the tape
the cycle looping over and over again

her hallowed heart promises to refill again

behave, hollow automaton

entry four of six

live bass in intro by @americalovesme

you ate me alive—
devoured each inch 
like you thought i was yours
i thought that you said 
that you’d treat me like an angel 
but angels all fall
and it’s always so painful

you cried when i didn’t taste just how you wanted
you craved it like fruit
but i guess it was rotten
a pig at the trough 
but the trough was a coffin

take what
you can get
to avoid to be alone
feel regret
and now i look in the mirror
and i want to turn to dust
how does anyone do this
and not feel disgust

i never wanted it to be this way
i belong to myself 
and that’s how it should stay 
you can cremate my body
no one can have it anymore
i don’t want it to exist
cause i don’t want it to be yours

coffin

leave your confessions

sewn together by a thousand threads
a project by angel jelly

1. didn't mean				(june 2022)
2. enemy					(august 2022)
3. too deep				(december 2022)
4. coffin					(october 2023)
5. no one will want you		(february 2023)
6. still love my baby		(june 2023)

"too deep" features additional vocals from donttrustlando
"coffin" features live bass performed by america loves me
cover arts and photography by america loves me

12.31.23

enemy

didn't mean

all sounds (aside from one snare) was made from scratch in vital

RIP SOPHIE 3 years </3 i genuinely would not be where i am today without her

didn't mean

angel jelly

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