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Anne Maxwell

ANNE MAXWELL

Anne's Parenting Tips

Parenting well

Family | Richard Abbe

Today’s podcast is in 2 parts. In the first part, I was so fortunate to interview Alfie Kohn. Mr Kohn is a writer and speaker who specializes in human behaviour, education and parenting. He is the author of 14 books and hundreds of articles and lectures at education conferences and universities, as well as to parent groups and corporations. 

Mr Kohn talks today about moving away from an approach to parenting which is based on having power over our children, to one based on working with our children. He explains how research has challenged many of the assumptions about mainstream approaches to raising our children. He explains that punishments and rewards are really both manipulation and control of our children and only work temporarily and at great cost to our relationship with our children. He describes how intrinsic motivation is damaged by rewards, praise and punishments. We discuss how to offer our children unconditional love in a way that our children receive as unconditional and how to parent without these coercive “sticks”. He also briefly discusses the failings of education systems that are based on testing, homework, and grades, all of which destroy creativity, meaningful learning and the desire to learn. Please note this part of the episode is not specifically about Aware Parenting. 


In part 2 of this episode, I outline the Aware Parenting perspective on not using punishments or rewards. I describe how to shift our thinking away from the behaviour modification perspective of trying to control and coerce our children and move instead to an Aware Parenting perspective of power with our children. I explain how to treat our children in a way that allows them to feel unconditionally loved, and how to ‘discipline’ our children with a compassionate and connected approach that looks underneath our children’s behaviour so we can identity what is getting in the way of them being their natural, loving, cooperative selves. I provide many strategies that parents can use instead of punishments or rewards to make parenting more enjoyable, to deepen our relationship with our children and support ourselves to be the parent we want to be.  

To find out more about Alfie Kohn, please visit www.alfiekohn.org  I highly recommend Alfie Kohn’s books “Punished by Rewards” and “Unconditional Parenting”, as well as “Cooperative and Connected” by Aletha Solter and her article “20 Alternatives to Punishment” available on her website www.awareparenting.com

Episode 7: Parenting Without Punishments and Rewards with Alfie Kohn

Read by Shefali Tsabary

A revolutionary new parenting method by the New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. 

Every parent is capable of raising happy, healthy, and emotionally grounded children. Despite this, too many of us struggle along the journey. From the fast-changing realities of social media to the fear that permeates our culture, to the generational expectations that are unconsciously placed on children, the pressures on parents and children have reached a critical moment. We feel it and our children feel it. But there is a solution.

With over two decades experience working directly with parents, acclaimed clinical psychologist and multiple bestselling author Dr. Shefali offers a profoundly practical and groundbreaking parenting solution that helps parents actualize their deepest desires for their children. This step-by-step guide disrupts toxic inherited patterns and replaces them with authentic connections that allow us to see and respond to our children for who they are and who they can become. The result is that our children emerge more empowered, healthy, and thriving in the freedom of their true expression.

Complete with paradigm shifting wisdom, illuminating client stories, and detailed practices, The Parenting Map is that evidenced based, solution-oriented manual that every parent has been searching for and the one that we all wish our parents had.

The Parenting Map by Shefali Tsabary

There isn't just one method for parenting. Everybody has their own reality and everybody has different relationships with their children. 

If you are trying to parent in a way that you are copying somebody else, i.e. your parents or some other parents that you think are more right and correct than you, this is where things become very difficult.

Are you allowed to parent totally different than everybody else? Do you ever give yourself permission to be a different parent than everybody else? 

How many of you guys that are parents, are constantly in projection and expectation, judgement, reaction to what good parenting is? And trying desperately not to be a bad parent?

This snippet is from a a standalone special on Conscious Parenting from an exclusive Club Consciousness membership that Shannon did on August 2023. And it's a rare opportunity for people outside of being a member for Club Consciousness to purchase it. How does it get any better?

Available in Shannon O'Hara's shop:
https://shannon-ohara.com/product/conscious-parenting-cc-2023/
www.shannon-ohara.com
www.shannon-ohara.com/club-consciousness/

What Is Your Reality With Parenting?

Nicole Telfer of http://www.empoweredkids.co.uk interviews Byron Katie on parenting. For more information, visit thework.com.

Interview: Parenting and The End of Blame—The Work of Byron Katie

A mother asks Byron Katie about dealing with her son’s obsessive-compulsive disorder. ’If my son is obsessive-compulsive, and he takes showers again and again,’ Katie says, ‘I might say, Honey, notice how hard you are on yourself. I understand that, because in my own way I judge myself too, and I’m working on it. But tell me, did you enjoy the shower?’ The best way to love your children is to understand your own mind. copyright2015 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com.

Parenting an Obsessive Child—The Work of Byron Katie

What Are Feelings, Relational Digitizations, Archimedean Spirals?

What Are Feelings, Relational Digitizations, Archimedean Spirals with Anne Maxwell

To own the complete 7-Track Peaceful Parenting Guided Meditation Album by The Parenting Junkie, visit: https://parentingjunkie.lpages.co/peaceful-parenting-affirmations-album/

The Parenting Junkie's Meditations

Peaceful Parenting Affirmations

This is an exercise tool that can be helpful if the walls of the world feel like they are closing in, if you would like more clarity, and more ease in life.

For more tools, visit www.annemaxwelllcsw.com

Expansion Excerise With Anne Maxwell, LCSW

In this episode, we talk about sleep from an Aware Parenting perspective.
Aware Parenting offers a third way with sleep - a way for babies and children to be securely attached AND to sleep restfully.
We explain what gets in the way of sleep, the three things needed for restful sleep, and how as parents we can often be fighting our children's natural relaxation mechanisms.
Books: The Aware Baby, Tears and Tantrums and Attachment Play - all by Aletha Solter, Ph.D.
Free intro: https://www.soundasleep.me/
Course: http://www.soundasleep.me/invitation/

Episode 5: Aware Parenting and Sleep

At worst getting your Bars run is like getting a great massage and at best it changes your entire life! Dr. Dain Heer talks with Emily Russell about what else is possible with Access Bars. 

Find out more here https://accessconsciousness.com/bars

More on Access Bars - by Dr. Dain Heer

What ulterior motive do you have that opens the door to others, gaslighting you?

Anne will facilitate the first ever 2 day, live & online 'Gaslighting:  Can you do it or are you the effect of it?' in Prague, November 2020

https://www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/store/LKTyKvLG

Gaslighting: Can you do it OR are you the effect of it? Teleseries, Nov 2019

What ulterior motive do you have that opens the door to others gaslighting you?

"Light & Heavy" is a fundamental tool of Access Consciousness and Access X-Men. This clip comes form a 2-day Access X-Men class with Access Certified Facilitator, Diva Diaz.

For more visit: www.divadiaz.com and www.accessconsciousness.com/divadiaz

Follow me on:
facebook: www.facebook.com/divadiazcfmw
instagram: www.instagram.com/diva.diaz
youtube: www.youtube.com/divinadiaz

I hope to see you somewhere in the world soon!

~ Diva ~

Knowing what's true for you? Access Consciousness Light & Heavy with Diva Diaz

Anne's Parenting Tips

Tip #1 : Asking a question(without a result in mind)...

If you would really like to know what's going on for your child, asking a question can give you that awareness. The key though, is not to have a specific result in mind.... enjoy!

Interested in more?

Parenting Groups with Anne
Learn more here :
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/parenting-group

About Anne
Anne is a child, family & play therapist who has had a clinical practice for over 25 years, specializing in kids of all ages & families of all kinds.

Learn more about Anne here:
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/about-anne

Parenting Tip #1. Asking A Question

Is your child like anyone else (at all)? Encourage them to function, thrive & BE themselves. 

Interested in more?

Parenting Groups with Anne
Learn more here :
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/parenting-group

About Anne
Anne is a child, family & play therapist who has had a clinical practice for over 25 years, specializing in kids of all ages & families of all kinds.

Learn more about Anne here:
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/about-anne


Parenting Group
https://www.annemaxwelllcsw.com


About Anne Maxwell, LCSW
https://www.annemaxwelllcsw.com

Parenting Tip #2 Encourage your kids to be themselves

Parenting Tip # 3 Trust yourself
What if you know your child better than anyone else does?

Interested in more?

Parenting Groups with Anne
Learn more here :
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/parenting-group

About Anne
Anne is a child, family & play therapist who has had a clinical practice for over 25 years, specializing in kids of all ages & families of all kinds.

Learn more about Anne here:
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/about-anne

www.annemaxwelllcsw.com

Parenting Tip # 3 Trust yourself

Parenting Tip # 4 

What if your job as a parent is to teach your kids to choose? 

Interested in more?

Parenting Groups with Anne
Learn more here :
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/parenting-group

About Anne
Anne is a child, family & play therapist who has had a clinical practice for over 25 years, specializing in kids of all ages & families of all kinds.

Learn more about Anne here:
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/about-anne

www.annemaxwelllcsw.com

Parenting Tip # 4 What if your job as a parent is to teach your kids to choose?

Parenting Tip # 5

What if you ask a question? What if every choice creates something? 

" What future will this create if I choose this? "

Parenting Groups with Anne
Learn more here :
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/parenting-group

About Anne
Anne is a child, family & play therapist who has had a clinical practice for over 25 years, specializing in kids of all ages & families of all kinds.

Learn more about Anne here:
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/about-anne

www.annemaxwelllcsw.com

Parenting Tip # 5  What future am I creating with this choice?

Parenting Tip # 6

What if gifting your kid or kids the energy they're asking for is all it takes for there to be peace for everyone? 

If behavior is a form of communication - what are your kids really saying? 

_________________

SHOP Kids & Communication - What are they really saying? annemaxwelllcsw.com/families-products/

Learn more:
annemaxwelllcsw.work/families

About Anne
Anne is a child, family & play therapist who has had a clinical practice for over 25 years, specializing in kids of all ages & families of all kinds.

Learn more about Anne here:
www.annemaxwelllcsw.com/about-anne