//lyrics

In a rock-pile
I wont play my cards
In the dirt now
Infinitely harmed
Watch my eyelids
When they say im wildin
Check my stats now im drippin in dior
Stuck up in the background
I wont play my cards
Why do I get stockpiled
On my shoulders
Didn't waste time then
Its you I was guidin'
I just dont wanna
Get older
In a year now
get my dreams out
Check my paypal
I dont need no help no more
No more
No, more
I just need someone I can hold onto
I could make a break for her, but I dont want to
I dont want it anymore
Anymore
Any, more

Its not hard to tell you're lyin'
In my walls
Angels fall
Cus im compulsive
Compulsive
Im gon' drown in this shit I know it
Im still healin'
When you're talking to me
I dont feel it
If im all that I need
Then im winnin'
I still catch myself
Wishin'
That I had, someone
In that mask you look so dumb
I needed a lullaby so I wrote one
I want you on my side while we're still young
Im with reef in the back and we lay some
down, down when im around, round
I dont think i ever found, found
Where you at now
I know its been a long while
Always come through at the wrong time
Right now, im stuck

In a rock-pile
I wont play my cards
In the dirt now
Infinitely harmed
Watch my eyelids
When they say im wildin
Check my stats now im drippin in dior
Stuck up in the background
I wont play my cards
Why do I get stockpiled
On my shoulders
Didn't waste time then
Its you I was guidin'
I just dont wanna
Get older
In a year now
get my dreams out
Check my paypal
I dont need no help no more
No more
No, more
I just need someone I can hold onto
I could make a break for her, but I dont want to
I dont want it anymore
Anymore
Any, more
Its not hard to tell you're lyin'
In my walls
Angels fall
Cus im compulsive
Compulsive
Im gon' drown in this shit I know it
Im still healin'
When you're talking to me
I dont feel it
If im all that I need
Then im winnin'
I still catch myself
Wishin'
That I had, someone

guidance [p. sai]

//lyrics

Please dont hate me, while im here
I feel it aching around my ear
All these changing faces, I cant be near
All these blatant changes that I cant be here for, for
When im anxious the sun dont shine
Im gon' make it the day she's mine
Ready or not
We barely talk
Is it something that you want
Up in my arms
You know
When im anxious the sun dont shine
Im gon' make it the day she's mine
Ready or not
We barely talk
Is it something that you want
Up in my arms

Its the way you talk to me
When you're tryna help
Its the way you talk to me
When im runnin' out of your love
Is changin' is changin' for you enough
I thought it'd be painless
Oh what a bluff
Lately its been harder, to stay away
Lately switchin' starters, to stay awake
It aint even fair that you're with me
Get to cryin' when im bouta leave

Please dont hate me, while im here
I feel it aching around my ear
All these changing faces, I cant be near
All these blatant changes that I cant be here for, for
When im anxious the sun dont shine
Im gon' make it the day she's mine
Ready or not
We barely talk
Is it something that you want
Up in my arms

Its the way you speak to me
When im bouta cry
Sit back, watch your feelings atomize
I guess stayin' up witchu a fuckin' waste of time
When you're barely trying, its the fact I have to tell you
Please dont hate me, while im here
I feel it aching around my ear
All these changing faces, I cant be near
All these blatant changes that I cant be here for, for
When im anxious the sun dont shine
Im gon' make it the day she's mine
Ready or not
We barely talk
Is it something that you want
Up in my arms
You know
When im anxious the sun dont shine
Im gon' make it the day she's mine
Ready or not
We barely talk
Is it something that you want
Up in my arms

paranoia [p. sai]

"petrichor" - the distinctive, earthy smell of rain in the air — sometimes detectable before any rain has fallen.

oh i know it sounds insane 
to say 
it seems okay to 
fill your place with time 
oh 
and the days pass 
through my gaze
as i wander 
straight through the slaughter
you made
was all of it worth it now?
and i won’t accept my fate 
the weeds overgrown
but im one step away 
from the good in this place 
so hold on.

petrichor

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0IHbekaueGek7nFPKpZpbD?si=89260079818e4242
all plats: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/spoder/desideratum

produced by 8een & arcane
additional production by me
mixed written performed by me
+ thank you eve for mixing advice

frick north york
thank you for listening, i hope you enjoy <3

///
the more that I try, more that I hide
the more that I try, more that I hide

the past few months I felt like I would die
before I did anything that I loved, oh my
I'll stay strong
eighteen round the corner, how'd I (make it!)
this long
all the pressure makes my head hurt
give it time and it'll get better
and if you hate it well then, know I put in effort :/
I do my best, how dare you say that I don't
still get nervous when there's lumps in my throat

I'm aware no one said it'd be easy
spoke to the teller now everything's clear, see
it all
pretty girl
girl

and if I don't wake up
tell every single person I love
that I put all my heart in
I will be an artist
there'll be people that care and I'll build something honest

go!
don't hide
do you even know who you are?
go!
how'd you even call that shit art? (desideratum)
go back pull your hair out, restart

I can't focus well my darling
got a stutter when I'm talking
you broke the news as I was walking
news when I was promised

desideratum

//lyrics

Only if you want it, ill do it if you wanted, us
Since you want it, ill do it if you wanted, us
Since you want it, ill do it if you wanted, us
Since you want it, ill do it if you wanted, us
Girl you done it, now i been on the same road
Girl im runnin', my feelings on the table
If you want it, i'll do it if you say so
But what if, im not able

To give you what you want
Before the changes girl im just missin' what it was
Now im the same person i was just a month along
I'll go insane, tryna find out what happened to us
Or go insane, tryna find out what happened to touch
what happened to me
Like what happened to love
Ill be happy diseased
Im not faithful to, what you say in the least
But you stay cold and im supposed to know what that means
I know why
Its chemical, i wont lie
You act cynical, i dont mind
I know its pitiful but i like you

Only if you want it, i'll do it if you wanted, us
Since you want it, ill do it if you wanted, us
Since you want it, ill do it if you wanted, us
Since you want it, ill do it if you wanted, us
Girl you done it, now i been on the same road
Girl im runnin', my feelings on the table
If you want it, i'll do it if you say so
But what if, im not able

To give you what you want
Before the changes girl im just missin' what it was
Now im the same person i was just a month along
I'll go insane, tryna find out what happened to us
Or go insane, tryna find out what happened to trust
Now i'd be happy to run
Always fall into lust
But if you were the one, you would
Want it if only i knew you wanted, us
Since you want it, i'll do it if you wanted, us
I know why
Its chemical, i wont lie
You act cynical, i dont mind
I know its pitiful but i like you

if u want it [p. sai]

wtf (prod greyrock)

helper - curb

helper - im gone

LOL here u go sorry for taking it away 
produced by @1hallow

tell me SMTH (hallow)

Algo Breath

Rewind Shine

Archive page, nothing I post is mine. Nothing will be monetized, credits go to their respective parties. I will remove anything upon request from the artist.

CONTACT/REMOVAL:
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Discord: @/deqex
Twitter: @/depexlol

helper - curb

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