This recording was made in April, 2014 using a Yamaha P-140 Digital Piano and True Keys American Grand software by VI Labs. The only editing done was the kind of piecing together of takes commonly done for traditional recordings. I am in the process of writing a blog post about my process.

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All my recordings are available to freely download as a lossless FLAC file. If your chosen audio player doesn't play FLAC, or you want to compress the file, please use software to convert it to an mp3 at 256kbps.

Chopin -- Ballade No. 1 in G minor, Op. 23

"I have a feeling I'll be hopeless for the rest of my life... but... the sushi I ate earlier tasted delicious..."

While this piece wasn’t directly inspired by Chainsaw Man, the manga definitely had a huge influence on how it came together in the end, especially the events of chapters 182 and 183. The realisation that Denji has resonated deeply with me.

[mild manga spoilers]
That despite all the struggle and pain we go through in life, there are still things to live for, however small. Eating delicious sushi, watching the sunrise or sunset, going for a walk with your dog(s), having fun with friends, these small little happy moments make life special. That doesn’t mean our suffering is fake or unimportant. We can be both sad and happy at the same time. We can both want to die and want to live at the same time.

If we are struggling, if we have suffered, there’s nothing in this world that can change that. Like Asa said, it’s impossible to “move on”. But we still have things to live for, things we look forward to so much that we’re willing to eat the crapburger.

——

Created using Logic & BBC Spitfire Orchestra

something to live for

indigo

:)
shoutout to noah (@sun_leong_ on instagram) for those strings

just because

another one! enjoy :')

lyrics:

why am i pulled to you?
and why does it never feel like
i'm finished talking
when we're finished talking?

why am i pulled to you?
and why does it never feel right
to not pick up when you're calling?

you know me so well
even if you don't know my favorite type of cereal
you know me so well
even though we're both different people now

it's stupid, it's so stupid to miss you like this
i feel stupid, so stupid to miss you like this
cause i told you to go and you went
oh, what did i expect?
so it's stupid, it's stupid, i know that it's stupid
to love you
but i can't help it

how did we get here?
it makes no sense but it feels like
a sign from god
that i keep ignoring

how did we get to this place we're in?
it makes no sense but it feels right
and maybe that's god
i probably shouldn't ignore him

you know me so well
even if you don't know my favorite type of cereal
you know me so well
even if you don't know i don't believe in god anyhow

but it's stupid, it's so stupid to miss you like this
i feel stupid, so stupid to miss you like this
cause i told you to go and you went
oh, what did i expect?
so it's stupid, it's stupid, i know that it's stupid
to love you
but i can't help it

stupid (voice memo)

lyrics:

it's been 30 days since i last saw you
30 days since we had nothing to fear
it's been too long now
i'm scared that i'm forgetting how you feel
30 days is way too real

it's been 4 weeks since i last saw you
4 weeks since we made plans to go north
it's been too long now
i'm scared that i'm forgetting you
i feel all out of sorts
4 weeks and i'm not yours

i've been reading books
i've started puzzles
i've been listening to all the greats
i've been trying new foods
i've been buying new shoes
but i can't seem to forget that it's been 30 days

it's been a month since i last saw you
no matter how you say it, it still means the same
it's been too long now
i think that i've forgotten how long it takes
for me to fall, i'm afraid
this time it wasn't long at all
and why it wasn't, i can't say
in fact it just took
30 days

30 days (voice memo)

Piano Trio in C minor I. Andante

wrote this one today. really honest. hope u like.

lyrics:
given the circumstances
i won't ask you to stay
given the circumstances
i would get it if you walked away

but all my life i've been looking for this
it seems fitting that
things go to hell now that i've found it

i don't think we're wasting time
but if you do i'm sorry
i can see a life with you
but if you can't i'm sorry
if 4 months means nothing
if none of it counts for something
then i'm sorry
if spending every night in your bed
has no meaning, then
what are we?
just a sorry excuse for love

lately the world is ending
so i won't ask for too much
lately the world is ending
and i find that i pretend to be okay with too much

but all my life i've been looking for this
real funny that
things go to hell now that i've found it

i don't think we're wasting time
but if you do i'm sorry
i can see a life with you
but if you can't i'm sorry
if 4 months means nothing
if none of it counts for something
then i'm sorry
if spending every night in your bed
has no meaning, then
what are we?
just a sorry excuse for love

...what are we? (voice memo)

lyrics:

where did you go, angelina?
why did you take my foolish heart?
i should've known, angelina
i was never right for that part

i could've sworn, angelina
we would get hitched and you'd be a bitch about
getting us there on time
i'd thank the lord for angelina
oh, so i guess the wedding
i'll never be getting
will live in the back of my mind

i never loved you more than when you said goodbye
cause maybe i knew that love wasn't honest if you had to lie
i never loved you more than when you walked away
cause maybe i knew, angelina, you'd never stay

* trumpet solo ;) *

are you coming home, angelina?
i think i'm done trying to hold on to you
i think you should know, angelina
that i'd probably fall again if you wanted me to
and she said i love you so i said it back but i
wished she was you

angelina (demo)

lyrics:

it's ok to cry
every day if you have to
it's ok to sleep
peace from the war

it's alright to sing
let it bring joy to the sorrow
it's alright to cry
some more

i don't know your pain but i will fight
i won't let this go even if doing what's right 
isn't easy
i'm tired, believe me, but
so are you

i don't know your pain but i will stand
i won't let this go so take my hand
it's not easy
i'm tired, believe me, but
so are you

so are you

it's ok to cry
or to laugh if you need to
it's ok to sleep
peace from the war

so are you (demo)

Flute: Alaina Clarice
Oboe: Liz Fleissner
Clarinet: Brian Do
Bassoon: Caden Ridge
Horn: Zachary Anderson

www.koryreeder.com

Thoughts on the piece: Quartertones and any smaller division of the octave is something I have a really hard time exploring in acoustic pieces. I love doing this with electronics- I could listen to two sinewaves beat against each other for a long time. Still, it’s been really difficult for me to incorporate this into my acoustic language. This sort of abstractly expressive sound-world isn’t always the right place for it, but I think this piece has expanded my range significantly. The emotive power and tension/release that these colors give the piece add a yearning or aching quality to the slow gestures, and there are some moments that I think just sound magical with these new colors.  

Cathrine Erb is an American photographer whose “luminous photo-based works capture a spirit of the sublime in everyday life. Her practice is a meditative process, exploring and revealing the radiance of the present moment and the complexities of relationships among people, places, things, as well as things unseen. Her studies of clouds transcend space and time with luscious translucence, while her portraits of everyday objects are instilled with the ineffable longing of memory.” 
www.davidluskgallery.com
www.catherineerb.com

Image: Detail from Catherine Erb - Cloud Study 32 (Clouds over Water), 2016, Mixed media photo encaustic, 36” x 80”

something to live for

Ari