Author Brene Brown shares thoughts on how to stop comparing ourselves against others, how to break our cycles of negative thinking and why regrets can be constructive.

Brene Brown on leadership

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write the ending. &#160; Social scientist Bren&eacute; Brown has ignited a global conversation on courage, vulnerability, shame, and worthiness. Her pioneering work uncovered a profound truth: Vulnerability&mdash;the willingness to show up and be seen with no guarantee of outcome&mdash;is the only path to more love, belonging, creativity, and joy. But living a brave life is not always easy: We are, inevitably, going to stumble and fall. &#160; It is the rise from falling that Brown takes as her subject in Rising Strong. As a grounded theory researcher, Brown has listened as a range of people&mdash;from leaders in Fortune 500 companies and the military to artists, couples in long-term relationships, teachers, and parents&mdash;shared their stories of being brave, falling, and getting back up. She asked herself, What do these people with strong and loving relationships, leaders nurturing creativity, artists pushing innovation, and clergy walking with people through faith and mystery have in common? The answer was clear: They recognize the power of emotion and they&rsquo;re not afraid to lean in to discomfort. &#160; Walking into our stories of hurt can feel dangerous. But the process of regaining our footing in the midst of struggle is where our courage is tested and our values are forged. Our stories of struggle can be big ones, like the loss of a job or the end of a relationship, or smaller ones, like a conflict with a friend or colleague. Regardless of magnitude or circumstance, the rising strong process is the same: We reckon with our emotions and get curious about what we&rsquo;re feeling; we rumble with our stories until we get to a place of truth; and we live this process, every day, until it becomes a practice and creates nothing short of a revolution in our lives. Rising strong after a fall is how we cultivate wholeheartedness. It&rsquo;s the process, Brown writes, that teaches us the most about who we are. ONE OF GREATER GOOD&rsquo;S FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE YEAR From the Hardcover edition.

Rising Strong by Brené Brown, read by Brené Brown

The poet-philosopher. To ask beautiful questions in unbeautiful moments. “Your great mistake is to act the drama / as if you were alone.” Rest as the conversation between what we love to do and how we love to be. The underlying meaning of everyday words.

“Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet / confinement of your aloneness / to learn / anything or anyone / that does not bring you alive / is too small for you.” David Whyte is a poet and philosopher who believes in the power of a “beautiful question” amid the drama of work as well as the drama of life, and the ways the two overlap. He shared a deep friendship with the late Irish philosopher John O’Donohue. They were, David Whyte says, like “two bookends.” More recently, he’s written about the consolation, nourishment, and underlying meaning of everyday words.

David Whyte is a poet and an associate fellow at Saïd Business School at the University of Oxford. He is the author of “The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America” and “Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.” His new book of poetry is “The Bell and the Blackbird.”

Find the transcript for this show at onbeing.org.

On Being with Krista Tippett

David Whyte – The Conversational Nature Of Reality

I’m delighted to offer you this hot new episode of The Mastery Sessions where I read you one of my favourite passages from the work and then share how it will help you rise into your mastery, bravery and utmost humanity.

Robin Sharma Mastery Sessions

Lessons On Sorrow As Fuel For Joy

Secret Sex Bomb - Implant Unstoppable Desire

https://mindpersuasion.teachable.com/p/party-hypnosis/

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my mind magic implants unstoppable sex

my telepathy crates unstoppable sex

your words create unstoppable sex

your ideas create unstoppable sex

your thoughts create unstoppable sex

your intentions create unstoppable sex

your hypnosis creates unstoppable sex

your wizardry creates unstoppable sex

your witchcraft creates unstoppable sex

your powers create unstoppable sex

your skills create unstoppable sex

your mastery creates unstoppable sex

your seductions create unstoppable sex

your mind control creates unstoppable sex

your mind magic creates unstoppable sex

your telepathy crates unstoppable sex

your words implant unstoppable sex

your ideas implant unstoppable sex

your thoughts implant unstoppable sex

your intentions implant unstoppable sex

your hypnosis implants unstoppable sex

your wizardry implants unstoppable sex

your witchcraft implants unstoppable sex

your powers implant unstoppable sex

your skills implant unstoppable sex

your mastery implants unstoppable sex

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Secret Sex Bomb

There are some people in life who are more than unpleasant, more than annoying. They're real, genuine a**holes.

My guest today has written the preeminent field guides to identifying, dealing with, and avoiding all of life's jerks, bullies, tyrants, and trolls: The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide. His name is Bob Sutton, he's a Stanford professor of organization and management, and we begin our conversation together with how Bob defines what makes an a-hole an a-hole, what causes their jerkiness, and the costs of having such disagreeable people as part of an organization. We then get into the circumstances of when being a jerk yourself can actually be advantageous. We then turn to how to deal with the jerks in your own life, including distancing yourself from them, deciding you're going to be better than them, and imagining you're a jerk collector encountering a new species of jerk. Bob explains smart ways to fight back against jerks, and gets into the wisdom of documenting their jerkiness, why it's occasionally helpful to take an aggressive stand, and how even Steve Jobs learned how to be less of an a-hole. We end our conversation with how to build a jerk-free workplace. 

Get the show notes at aom.is/jerks.

#627: How to Deal With Jerks, Bullies, Tyrants, and Trolls

You're lying in bed at night and hear a noise downstairs. Is there someone in your house, and if there is, do you know what to do?

While we'd like to think we'd rise to the occasion and readily dispatch with the bad guys, my guest today argues that without preparation and training, you're likely to flounder, and that you should have put more thought into how to keep the invader out of your house in the first place.

His name is Dave Young, and he's a security expert and the author of How to Defend Your Family and Home: Outsmart an Invader, Secure Your Home, Prevent a Burglary and Protect Your Loved Ones from Any Threat. We begin our conversation with how Dave got involved with security training, the intensive field research he did for his book, and the basic equation criminals use in deciding whether or not to make your house a target. We then delve into how to tweak that equation in your favor, beginning with casing your house like a criminal would; we go over the vulnerabilities to look for as you walk the perimeter of your property, and the actionable changes to make to deter would-be home invaders. Dave then walks us through what to do if someone does invade your home, including the criteria to use in picking a place to hide, choosing a weapon to fight back, and selecting an engagement point to confront the intruder. We also get into the importance of firearm training, if you decide to own a gun for self-defense. We end our conversation with an oft-overlooked part of surviving a home invasion: the months and years of psychological and judicial aftermath. 

Get the show notes at aom.is/homeinvasion.

#631: How to Prevent and Survive a Home Invasion

Have you found it harder and harder to sit with a good book for long periods of time without getting that itch to check your phone? Well, you're not alone. My guest today makes the case that the internet has changed our brains in ways that make deep, focused thinking harder and harder.

His name is Nicholas Carr, and he documented what was then a newly-emerging phenomenon ten years ago in his book The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains. The Shallows has now been re-released with a new afterword, and Nick and I begin our conversation with how he thinks the effect of digital technology on our minds has or hasn't changed over the last decade. We then discuss the idea of the medium being the message when it comes to the internet, and how this particular medium changes our brains and the ways we think and approach knowledge and the world. Nick then explains how we read texts on screens differently than texts in books, why hyperlinks mess with our ability for comprehension, why it's still important to develop our own memory bank of knowledge even in a time when we can access facts from an outsourced digital brain, and how social media amplifies our craving for the fast and easy-to-digest over the slow and contemplative. We end our conversation with how Nick himself has tried to strike a balance in keeping the advantages of the internet while mitigating its downsides. 

Get the show notes at aom.is/shallows.

#632: How the Internet Makes Our Minds Shallow

Patricia Hodge stars as Cruella de Vil in this full-cast dramatisation of the much-loved story. Pongo lives happily with his human pets Mr. and Mrs. Dearly in a large house in Regent's Park. When his wife Missis produces a litter of 15 beautiful pups, life seems wonderfully complete. But the mysterious disappearance of the puppies suddenly throws everything into turmoil. Pongo, one of the keenest brains in Dogdom, quickly realises that he and Missis are the only hope for their youngsters' survival. And so the fearless pair set out on a bleak winter's journey into great dangers, helped along the way by the gallant Colonel, a sheepdog of the Old School. Dodie Smith's canine classic brought pleasure to millions as a Disney film. All its original charm and warmth are fully evident here in this full-cast dramatisation which stars Patricia Hodge as Cruella de Vil, along with Joan Sims, Brenda Blethyn, Nicky Henson and Polly James.

The Hundred and One Dalmatians

When people start on a self-development journey, they'll sometimes create a bucket list -- all the things, all the typically exciting and pleasurable things, they hope to do before they die. My guest started his own self-improvement journey very differently, by creating an anti-bucket list consisting of things he didn't want to do, and embarking on a "year of adversity."

His name is Ben Aldridge and he's the author of How to Be Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable: 43 Weird & Wonderful Ways to Build a Strong, Resilient Mindset. Ben and I begin our conversation with how his struggle with debilitating panic attacks inspired him to study philosophical and psychological ideas on how to fight back against his anxiety, what he learned that can benefit anyone looking to be more resilient, and how he was particularly inspired by the Stoic idea of intentionally practicing adversity to prepare for adversity. We then talk about the project Ben set for himself of embarking on a year of mental, physical, and skill-based challenges designed to push himself outside his comfort zone, how he decided what kinds of challenges to do, and how doing hard things changed him. From there we get into the specific challenges Ben completed, from taking cold showers to learning Japanese, and what they taught him about self-discipline, facing your fears, and the human potential for growth. We end our conversation with the ways he's continued to push himself after the year of challenges was through, even in the midst of the pandemic lockdown, including climbing Mt. Everest from inside his house.

Get the show notes at aom.is/getuncomfortable.

#640: Weird and Wonderful Ways to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

95% of people say that they're self-aware. But only 10-15% of people actually are. As my guest today says, that means "on a good day, 80% of us are lying to ourselves about how much we're lying to ourselves" and this blind spot can have big repercussions for our success and happiness. 

Her name is Tasha Eurich, and she's an organizational psychologist and the author of Insight: Why We're Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Work and in Life. Tasha kicks off our conversation by arguing that our level of self-awareness sets the upper limit of our individual effectiveness and that self-awareness can be developed and is truly the meta skill of the 21st century. She then unpacks what it is you know about yourself when you possess self-awareness, how there are two types of this knowledge, internal and external, and how you can have one without the other. Tasha then outlines the seven pillars of self-awareness, the barriers to getting insights into them --  including falling into the cult of self -- and how these barriers can be overcome, including asking yourself a daily check-in question. We then discuss how two of the most common methods for gaining self-knowledge -- introspection and journaling -- can in fact backfire and how to do them more effectively by asking yourself what instead of why, and actually journaling less instead of more. We also get into why you should be an in-former, rather than a me-former on social media, how to become more mindful without meditation, and how to solicit and handle feedback from other people, including holding something called the "Dinner of Truth."

Get the show notes at aom.is/selfawareness.

#632: How the Internet Makes Our Minds Shallow

The Art of Manliness