SHE GETS HALF
Words & Music by:
Arty Simon
Aqua Pisces Music (BMI)
Copyright 
INTRO
Two wrongs don’t make a right
But two halves call for a Helluva fight
CHORUS
She gets:
Half of the guitars
But she doesn’t play a lick
Half of the pick-up truck but she doesn’t drive a stick
Half of the beers from half of the freezer
Half of the half-time from Super Bowl Fever
You get 100% of the pain and the agony
Front row seats to the scene of the tragedy
Middle finger from all of humanity
And the freedom to try it again
1.
‘Love, Honor and Obey’,
We said, ‘Til death do us part’
Well, dyin’ now seems a lot easier
than workin’ 3 shifts at the Mart
CHORUS
She gets:
Half of the guitars
But she doesn’t play a lick
Half of the pick-up truck but she doesn’t drive a stick
Half of the beers from half of the freezer
Half of the half-time from Super Bowl Fever
You get 100% of a lifestyle you didn’t choose
Single again with today’s cryptic Safe-Sex Blues
Lots more questions than answers you could really use
And the freedom to try it again
2.
Friends say, “Happy Days are here again”
Put new sheets on your bed
Well, who among them can party now
Did they hear what the County Judge said?
CHORUS
She gets:
Half of the guitars but she doesn’t play a lick
Half of the pick-up truck but she doesn’t drive a stick
Half of the beers from half of the freezer
Half of the half-time from Super Bowl Fever
You get 100% of the pain and the agony
A plaque in your honor for causing insanity
A CSI pass to the scene of the tragedy
And the freedom to try it again
CHORUS
She gets:
Half of the house, that she didn’t give a Damn about
Half of the hot dog and half of the sauerkraut
Half of the beers from half of the freezer
Half of the re-runs from Leave It To Beaver
You get 100% of half of your salary
The Evil Eye from her friends and the family
An intervention from the bums in the alley
And the freedom to try it again
She gets:
Half of the guitars but she doesn’t play a lick
Half of the pick-up truck but she doesn’t drive a stick
Half of the beers from half of the freezer
Half of the half-time from Super Bowl Fever
You get 100% of the pain and the agony
Ringside seats to the scene of the tragedy
The middle finger from all of Humanity
And the freedom to try it again
You get the freedom to try it again
You get the freedom to try it again

She Gets Half

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