f i ga r o

they/them
New person. full letter for him..

Matthew I didn’t cheat.. I lied.. why did I lie make you leave me.
all of it wasn’t true why cant you understand me.. you made my soul fade away.. I’m not the same anymore without you. you didn’t let me speak right as you end it.

I’ll do anything to return but how.. I’m not sure if you leave me again I have no other choice but to kill myself my dear.

I wanted to experience love with you more I really do.. I wish we had more time more support endlessly I couldn’t do it cause of my family problems and school and my mental.. you were the only one who cared and loved me I never thought I’d have such kind words from you some people be telling me to move on and have a new one.. I cant I have the gifts you gifted me and a pink octopus reversible plush that is a “mini Matthew”(you) i barely sleep while holding you making you feel safe with me thinking you’re still here with me and I still cry over you even when I’m older.. I will as always. I’m dying for you I’m yearning for you I need to be comforted by you. I wish this didn’t happened all because of me lying to your face just to make you believe the nonsense I gave you. I’m truly sorry I should’ve not said it I really did if there was a Time Machine where I can teleport back.. I wanna see you again I wanna see your smile your laugh your jokes your kisses .. everything. really. I cant even smile anymore since you’re not here.. i feel cold and distant to everyone now. it’s not the same.. I’m no longer a shy extroverted social person you used to see me as.. I felt empty and extremely useless now. I still draw you and me together as I can never move on. you were too beautiful and charming man I’ve ever met and lay my eyes on.

I have photos of us and screenshots of us in discord and facetime calls together. I smile over it how sweet and funny you were to me I missed those times. I wanna go back so badly.. but now it feels like I’ve been drowned and you never came back for me.. just letting me die underwater as you hang out with your friend without me is what I had a nightmare over it.. I remember I told you I had I nightmare that you will leave me for another woman in front of me.. and you hurt my feelings.. you told me that it will never happen.. and I promised you. If you can return to me and want me to tell you why and about this random person I’m friends with on roblox then go ahead.. so we can talk normally no arguments.. I wanted to hear your voice once more.

I miss you I really am.. I openly loved you but then later I secretly loved you I don’t know why I said such lie words that aren’t true and real making you not love me anymore I’m sorry i regret avoiding from everyone.. even you I don’t think I can never heal cause all I think about is you Matthew. No one else’s just.. you.

-faye💔

black means innocent.. white means.. feeling suicidal and pain even.. sadness.

I’m not sure about grey.. maybe a mix of hurt and insane.

f i ga r o

riri