anybody coming back to old songs in 2020?

I feel a spiritual connection to this song, it makes me feel at peace in a good way

||sad days||

Flow

well, here we are.

after a long journey spent coping with sub par mental health and the various females inhabiting my high school, i've finally accomplished the thing i set out to do so long ago:

i put out a real album.

i hope that you all enjoy listening to this as much as i enjoyed creating it, because this whole thing has been an experience for me.

thank you for getting me so incredibly close to 10,000 soundcloud followers and thank you even more for taking the time to listen to what i've created here.

the cover art was created by my good friend halli hunt, or h.h. as some of you may know her.

have a fantastic day, and hey;

the world might not always be beautiful, but the potential for beauty and peace exists so long as the potential for hatred and violence is present. you can't have sunshine without a little rain, and i can't have happiness without a little help from my friends. i love you all.

<3

humility (prod. borealism)

@tomppabeats

but whatever tho

(also these hats are coming soon)

isn't here (prod. tomppabeats)

much like me, this song is built entirely of metaphors

unscramble them to find the truth

@tomcbumpz

i don't crave death, i just crave peace (prod. tomcbumpz)

sick (prod. mt. marcy)

hey, thanks for 50k <3

lil vocal acting by my homies jake & marcus <3

lyrics:
i think that now i'd call myself a wordsmith
but not because of talent of ability
it's more that i can balance the facilities
of living as a human, while i'm sittin' here decal-ing my sililoquies
and i guess it makes sense, in that regard
i use my brain as a capture card
inhalin' every word i stumble upon
to try to catalog 'em all before the rapture starts

so you can tag along and follow all the wacky antics
like all my stupid problems that relapsing can't fix
"keep your head up out the sand, stop scratching that wrist
before you turn into another anxious ativan kid"
well i guess it's too late... a couple hundred panic states passed
and my broken self ran away fast
feels like i lost my body in a hand grenade blast
with all this absence in my soul, and i can't evade that

so i'm stuck... trapped in a painting of myself
that was made before i changed how i felt
i'm hoping that my other friends can break out and help
but to be honest, it seems like they've greyed out as well
i constantly remember back in high school
sneaking out to kick it with no pay stubs
everything was simpler then, i guess
i only feel free when there's something to escape from

so i'll keep writing songs of longing for the olden
looking to the future for my confidence and boldness
it certainly isn't here, and neither am i
but i think that we've established that enough to decide
that it's time for a change; or, rather, time to revert
'cause we all sorta miss the designs that we were
and maybe nowadays what i write's more diverse
but the patrick years back didn't understand hurt

and that hurts

a wistful remembrance

wordsmith ii (prod. purpan)

produced by @aimless-beats
art by twitter.com/ahahamadork

back at it again

i write inside of the eye of the storm
with a hyphen-divided title that sidles by in the shadows
hyper-drive when you trying to ride beside in the morn
with that iodine on my clothing, i wash it out with the form
no pauses, no breaks, and i don't talk to no fakes no more
they all snakes, no more of that
i could write a gorgeous rap and probably make a quarter sack
but i would rather throw it like a quarterback

motherfuckers hoarded that style, and now they bored of it
i'm bored of y'all, i wish half these cats in my tapestry acted more involved
i wish they'd address me as majesty when i tour the mall
and i wish all the haters that message me could afford it all
it's kinda sad, i don't know what it's like to rhyme that bad
i don't know what it's like to be that kind of mad
i do know what it's like, to sit looking back at the times they had
in passing, but i'm focused on pressing pencil to writing pad aptly

and i don't mean to end abruptly
but i seem to be disgusting all the people here to judge me
and that's lovely, while y'all are obsessing over some painted nails
i'm hopping the safety rails, exiting while the train derails
and this is patience, stale as ever in the passing sense
frail as ever, such a fragile wimp to battle with... yeah
and i don't mean to be a masochist
but after all the shit y'all put me through, i'm kinda glad ya' did

'cause i don't really care for the world these days
the world these days
i got too many homies out here seeing early graves
seeing early graves
and everything is dull when the world's such a boring gray
such a boring gray
i got too many homies out here seeing early graves
seeing early graves

early graves (prod. aimless)

download <3

i made this whole shit and i'm lit as fuck
shout out my homie shelby for taking the cover photo

bitch my wrist looks like a fucking glacier 
i done killed the game and now it needs a savior 
bring it back to life, i feel like brendan fraser 
never make mistakes, so i don't need erasers 
bitch, you bouta see me take the cup 
better pick them cameras up 
i hope you filming this 
only skill and never luck 
run the game and run amok 
i hope you feeling this 

every color diamond on the chain 
my shit looking like a pride parade 
smoking loud 'til i'm in hyperspace 
i got so much money, think i'm tyra banks 
i got so much money i got tired of banks 
hundred trillion in a giant safe 
couple billion in my hiding place 
(underneath my bed, please don't tell the feds) 

if you touch my paper, then i'm seeing red 
knuckle sandwich on some pita bread 
diamonds snowy, i might need a sled 
yung sleepy hollow, all i need is head 
fuck it, sleep tomorrow, it's a party night 
fuck it, i'm the nicest when i'm on the mic 
fuck it, i ain't never work a 9 to 5 
but i'm on my grind all the fucking time 

yeah... 
and that's true, if you really wanna talk facts 
i don't know why you always gotta talk back 
y'all shady, i ain't talking 'bout a cross-hatch 
oh, my god... yeah... 
and that's true, if you really wanna talk facts 
i don't know why you always gotta talk back 
y'all shady, i ain't talking 'bout a cross-hatch 
fuck out my mentions

fuck out my mentions

Atlas-My Body Is A Hell

@southvb

more like GAYboy lmao RT

lyrics:
i just want my hand held, i ain't talking gameboys
and i ain't been in magazines, but me and you can play, boy
i'm looking for the same joy, the same touch and smolder
that i get when i lay my head down on your shoulder
that's real... i always wanna know how you feel
you bring me out my great depressions, i think you're the new deal
i'm staring at you in the mirror like fucking blue steel
wide-eyed, smiling, i'm just tryna help your mood heal

so if there's anything that i can do
to help the weaker side of you
just lemme know and i can move
my schedule up and down

i'm sorry if i haven't been
the best at how i'm managing
the problems that i'm handling
my head was in the ground

and truly, it's a miracle
that you are even near me, whether
fruitless or endearing
i'll be happy you're around

and if you're feeling terrible,
your sicknesses unparalled,
your headache is unbearable,
just step into the sound

i don't mind at all
my ibuprofen and my tylenol
are yours at the sound of your sirens' call
'cause i ain't letting you hurt tonight at all
tonight at all

i don't mind at all
my ibuprofen and my tylenol
are yours at the sound of your sirens' call
'cause i ain't letting you hurt tonight at all
tonight at all

handheld (prod. south.vibe)

cute trap shit

lyrics:
i'm just tryna hold your hand
put some diamonds on your wrist
got some ice behind my lips
you can feel it when we kiss, wait
(x4)

gas in my lungs, bars in my text files
snuggling a cutie with a name straight out of x-files
can't even pronounce the fuckin' names on my textiles
i just dropped a rack on these lames, i gotta flex now

i might get cash, spit raps
been that, been the best, yeah, whatever
i'm magic, just got my hogwarts
acceptance letter
they asking how i've been
i'm just like, "never better"
cash flow come so steady
like a sturdy boat in the best of weather, oh, my

they paying homage to me soon
my new whip so much knee room
might drop a band on some seafood
and i don't even like seafood

but i sure do like you...
i guess that's what's really matters
make the competition scatter
you say i'm cute, i'm fuckin' flattered, wait

just know that i fuck with you
in fact, i kinda think you dummy cute
(x3)

and if your favorite chip is really bbq
then i'ma grab a few and we can kick it, okay, yeah, peace

i'm just tryna hold your hand
put some diamonds on your wrist
got ice behind my lips
you can feel it when we kiss, wait
(x4)

DUMMY CUTE

produced by @jhfly
mixed by @halberd-3000

lyrics:

you know it's they/them, as in me and most of mine
some identical identity, i keep 'em close beside
open old wounds just enough to bleed out older lines
'til there's no truths left, and i concede to close my eyes

and even though the sleet and snow are peeking through the blinds
i still meet them on my morning walk, sheepishly surprised
used to think this skittish brain might need to be inside
'til neurosis was a locksmith with a key to where i hide

now i keep ice on me, that shit froze
not like diamonds, though--it's april and we still been gettin' snow
but me and all my friends are 'bouta hit the road
not for tour, tho, i really just enjoyed it when we drove, 'cause

you're way less likely to get stared at
by an old white man in a moving car
and yes, i see that really neat flag on your window
are you quite aware that you guys lost the war?

and, yes, i did use the gender neutral bathroom
what is your concern with what i've got going on?
you can fight me in this walmart if you want to
but when you get your ass beat, don't pull out your AR

yes, my fucking nails are painted! what, you think i didn't know?
yes, i wore a skirt today! what's with all the rigmarole?
yes, i've got some makeup on, and yes, bitch, i look beautiful
so 'fore you ask another question, you can get to getting ghost

flowers ep

they/them (prod. jhfly)

produced by @jhfly

lyrics:

i often sit and wonder how your hand would feel
if we were sitting on my carpet sharing chamomile
keep a lot of little secrets that i can't reveal
until we're high at 3 am just sharing chamomile
(x2)

i guess...

i've got a letters that i've written
a few of them i'm tempted to incinerate
they tend to pile up around my desk
at the frequency of sadness and dinner plates
it's easy to get lost inside of memories
it's harder to pretend that isn't bothersome
you told me 'bout your favorite kinds of flowers
so i went to the market and i got you some

i didn't even break down when i left my house
i didn't even get anxious when i went out
you know the words never sound quite right when they leave my mouth
but, darling, just finish your tea, and we'll go lay down
we can go lay down

i often sit and wonder how your hand would feel
if we were sitting on my carpet sharing chamomile
keep a lot of little secrets that i can't reveal
until we're high at 3 am just sharing chamomile

chamomile (prod. jhfly)

produced by @mt_fujitive

lyrics:

life has got me feeling discombobulated, in place of common phrases
all i say are awkward statements in every conversation
often sitting cautious, pacing, dropping frames in talks with strangers
making observations, in that awful cadence
i've been rather quiet since a sophomore
every time my voice comes out my mouth, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard
saving pieces shattered as my age increases faster
i can make my thesis matter if i learn to fuckin' talk more

but that's just an inkling, small talk is always shrinking
and this ship will always sink until we fill in all the gaps
i've made some dumb decisions and evaded inhibitions
digging graves for my ambitions just to make it on the map
which seems ironic at present, given my title
periodically stepping through this recital
i've practiced a thousand times, messaging with my idols
and definitely sounding like a dumbass when i try tho

i treat a soundcloud page like a diary
and push away all the people who inspire me--sorry
so afraid of the person i should try to be
and it seems, by now, they should kinda be sorry

discombobulated (prod. mt. fujitive)

hey cool song coming for 100k
here's a thing i made this morning
also i'm on hiatus

@beet_farmer

lyrics:
wake up, take my morning walk, and pass out on the porch again
shatter under pressure, pilot corpses made of porcelain
terrified of questions, 'specially "lesser than..." or "more than friends?"
i panic over people like a swimmer to a dorsal fin

i'm out my element in every single element
bad with conversations, speak in nervous stares and mellow shifts in tone
in every room i occupy, i play the elephant
and glance at clocks to tick away the moments 'til farewell and dip

if anxious was a role one could fill upon a credits list
i'd grab an oscar every other time i left my bed a bit
performing well enough to leave my colleagues in a deficit
the academy awards would be incredulous

i'm often opulent in time alone, purveyor of the faux pas
horrible at family festivities, silent, phone on
i wander to the dinner table, fumble to the coleslaw
and wish i was at home so i could doze off

early graves (prod. aimless)

atlas

Recent comments

i wish i was

𓃮

sleazyfate

updog

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