my playlist

GLITCH

this is a song i wrote about overcoming my mental illness. while i'm nowhere near the end of the journey that it has been, i have learned a lot along the way and improved myself tremendously in the process. the first half of the song represents my state of mind a year ago and before, and the second represents the loving, open-minded, and even somewhat positive (occasionally) person i've become since.

thank you all.

special thanks to chloe, halli, john, jesse, joey (both of you), my mom, my grandparents, my brothers, the rest of my family, my counselors, and everyone who enjoys my music

lyrics:
i'm gonna kill myself one day, i'm sure
i'll be gone and you'll be there still
i've been standing at the edge for far too long; it's time that i jump
or pull me down 'cause either way i'll be gone
and i'm so sorry for the things that i have said
i know it hurts to have to follow
but i've been standing at the bottom of a bottle
with bones made out of glass since i could walk
and i'm still sorry for what i've done

i'm gonna live to tell the tale, i think
i've stared into the mirror for an hour, i don't hate myself no more
and i am sorry for the words that have offended you
and caused an ounce of terror in your stomach
i swear, i swear i'm always getting better
never worse, if only that were true, if only that were true
i can see it in your eyes, it's like a diamond in disguise
it's like a pilot lost his eyes and now he's truly flying blind

flying blind

much like me, this song is built entirely of metaphors

unscramble them to find the truth

@tomcbumpz

i don't crave death, i just crave peace (prod. tomcbumpz)

Upside Down Frowns (feat. Atlas)

this is an album about the fears and tremors that come with love, and the crisis of not knowing your own identity as yours.

enjoy.

fog & obscure

download

apathy

produced by @aimless-beats
art by twitter.com/ahahamadork

back at it again

i write inside of the eye of the storm
with a hyphen-divided title that sidles by in the shadows
hyper-drive when you trying to ride beside in the morn
with that iodine on my clothing, i wash it out with the form
no pauses, no breaks, and i don't talk to no fakes no more
they all snakes, no more of that
i could write a gorgeous rap and probably make a quarter sack
but i would rather throw it like a quarterback

motherfuckers hoarded that style, and now they bored of it
i'm bored of y'all, i wish half these cats in my tapestry acted more involved
i wish they'd address me as majesty when i tour the mall
and i wish all the haters that message me could afford it all
it's kinda sad, i don't know what it's like to rhyme that bad
i don't know what it's like to be that kind of mad
i do know what it's like, to sit looking back at the times they had
in passing, but i'm focused on pressing pencil to writing pad aptly

and i don't mean to end abruptly
but i seem to be disgusting all the people here to judge me
and that's lovely, while y'all are obsessing over some painted nails
i'm hopping the safety rails, exiting while the train derails
and this is patience, stale as ever in the passing sense
frail as ever, such a fragile wimp to battle with... yeah
and i don't mean to be a masochist
but after all the shit y'all put me through, i'm kinda glad ya' did

'cause i don't really care for the world these days
the world these days
i got too many homies out here seeing early graves
seeing early graves
and everything is dull when the world's such a boring gray
such a boring gray
i got too many homies out here seeing early graves
seeing early graves

early graves (prod. aimless)

download <3

i made this whole shit and i'm lit as fuck
shout out my homie shelby for taking the cover photo

bitch my wrist looks like a fucking glacier 
i done killed the game and now it needs a savior 
bring it back to life, i feel like brendan fraser 
never make mistakes, so i don't need erasers 
bitch, you bouta see me take the cup 
better pick them cameras up 
i hope you filming this 
only skill and never luck 
run the game and run amok 
i hope you feeling this 

every color diamond on the chain 
my shit looking like a pride parade 
smoking loud 'til i'm in hyperspace 
i got so much money, think i'm tyra banks 
i got so much money i got tired of banks 
hundred trillion in a giant safe 
couple billion in my hiding place 
(underneath my bed, please don't tell the feds) 

if you touch my paper, then i'm seeing red 
knuckle sandwich on some pita bread 
diamonds snowy, i might need a sled 
yung sleepy hollow, all i need is head 
fuck it, sleep tomorrow, it's a party night 
fuck it, i'm the nicest when i'm on the mic 
fuck it, i ain't never work a 9 to 5 
but i'm on my grind all the fucking time 

yeah... 
and that's true, if you really wanna talk facts 
i don't know why you always gotta talk back 
y'all shady, i ain't talking 'bout a cross-hatch 
oh, my god... yeah... 
and that's true, if you really wanna talk facts 
i don't know why you always gotta talk back 
y'all shady, i ain't talking 'bout a cross-hatch 
fuck out my mentions

fuck out my mentions

edited out intro for pt. 2 and cut and added things

atlas- wordsmith (both parts)

ukulele by @imtiffany
art by https://twitter.com/phiIotechnicaI

"you were my earth"

atlas

you're my world

@southvb

more like GAYboy lmao RT

lyrics:
i just want my hand held, i ain't talking gameboys
and i ain't been in magazines, but me and you can play, boy
i'm looking for the same joy, the same touch and smolder
that i get when i lay my head down on your shoulder
that's real... i always wanna know how you feel
you bring me out my great depressions, i think you're the new deal
i'm staring at you in the mirror like fucking blue steel
wide-eyed, smiling, i'm just tryna help your mood heal

so if there's anything that i can do
to help the weaker side of you
just lemme know and i can move
my schedule up and down

i'm sorry if i haven't been
the best at how i'm managing
the problems that i'm handling
my head was in the ground

and truly, it's a miracle
that you are even near me, whether
fruitless or endearing
i'll be happy you're around

and if you're feeling terrible,
your sicknesses unparalled,
your headache is unbearable,
just step into the sound

i don't mind at all
my ibuprofen and my tylenol
are yours at the sound of your sirens' call
'cause i ain't letting you hurt tonight at all
tonight at all

i don't mind at all
my ibuprofen and my tylenol
are yours at the sound of your sirens' call
'cause i ain't letting you hurt tonight at all
tonight at all

handheld (prod. south.vibe)

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
just know i'm sorry for it all 
i know it must be hard to hear 
i'm glad you left before the fall 
'cause i won't make it past this year 

just know i love you like a rose 
would love the thorns upon its stem 
no matter how they might have dug into my skin 
no matter how things might have ended 
i will wish for you each night, i'll wish your touch was mine again

winter

just know i love you like a rose

merry christmas, friends!
here's some heat

lyrics:
coming up, i never really had shit 
no bedframe, just the floor and the mattress 
no left lane, stuck in slow moving traffic 
then i made racks on racks off practice 
now everything is perfect, i don't look at price tags 
all i do is purchase, remember back in high school 
no one liked the gay kid, had to learn to fight soon 
all them hicks mad 'cause i turned into a tycoon 
now my life a business, i made it off of my own shit 
soundcloud check to an iphone 6 
flow used to blow like cyclones did 
now i'll make your mixtape with my eyes closed, bitch 
might pioneer a genre from my bedside 
from my bedside 
got me feeling sorry for the next guy 
better luck next time

coming up, i never really had shit 
no bedframe, just the floor and the mattress 
no left lane, stuck in slow-moving traffic 
then i made racks on racks off practice 
(x2) 

went from a rock band mic to an off-brand mic 
to the god damn mic i'm using--stupid 
most of y'all cats so clueless--nuisances 
stepping in front of my movement--move it 

you really gotta believe me 
the competition was easy 
they came to me with a treaty 
i couldn't stress it enough 
started out with a message 
and turned to local legend 
but now it's not even a question 
i'm your celebrity crush 
labels called it a gamble 
they said i'm too much to handle 
i couldn't fit on the panel 
but now they ready to bluff 
cats who used to belittle me 
hitting me, say they spitting heat 
every one of my enemies 
getting left in the dust 

that's a promise, i feel so on it 
bars rock hard like a god damn onix 
most y'all kids need hooked on phonics 
every new song's the just the same old garbage 
be more honest... honestly, i promise that it's worth it 
i remember balancing geometry with wording 
i remember practicing through callouses and curses 
but now my life feel so god damn perfect

coming up, i never really had shit 
no bedframe, just the floor and the mattress 
no left lane, stuck in slow-moving traffic 
then i made racks on racks off practice 
(x3)

PERFECT

when it all falls apart like a house made of cards
i will shuffle this deck 'til i fall asleep
gentle touch, brittle bones, when we talk on the phone
i exist for you, you have all of me

i'm a small speck of dust, an inanimite husk
of my former self, they are vanishing
there's a ghost in my room and it wears the perfume
that you used to wear; it's like you're next to me

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

you're a voice in my head, at the foot of my bed
like a poltergeist, drifting hauntingly
and my mind is a void, for the broken, destroyed
little parts of me, an infinity

this ache in my head makes me quake in my bed
i fixate on it, i can't fall asleep
with this whine in my ears when the silence appears
it is deafining, it is everything

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

real enough

uhhh yeah @mt_fujitive

lyrics:
it's that awkward diva essence, chronically depressive
stop and leave a message or just talk to me a second
with that java bean aesthetic (grinding), probably dyslexic
if you got me mixed up with all these drama queens

i don't wanna hear that... you can keep that shit at home
rapping in my bedroom... guess i did this shit alone
often too alone, but all these tinder boys are pretty gross
so 'less you tryna go and grab some coffee, please don't hit my phone

lately, that's the only type i've fallen for
frail, tall-ish, nail polish, yeah, i've said it all before
used to grab my daily arizona from the dollar store
and kick it with the homies who don't rly like to call no more

yeah... but i don't call 'em either so it's my fault
slammed my cell receiver on the sidewalk
handle full of ether 'til my mind's gone
you don't need a feature, this is my song

you don't need a feature, this is my song
homie, you don't need a feature, this is...
well, you don't need a feature, this is my song
this is my song... and this

that awkward diva essence, chronically depressive
stop and leave a message or just talk to me a second
with that java bean aesthetic (grinding), probably dyslexic
if you got me mixed up with all these drama queens
(x2)

(pathetic)

my song (prod. mt. fujitive)

produced by @mt_fujitive

lyrics:

life has got me feeling discombobulated, in place of common phrases
all i say are awkward statements in every conversation
often sitting cautious, pacing, dropping frames in talks with strangers
making observations, in that awful cadence
i've been rather quiet since a sophomore
every time my voice comes out my mouth, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard
saving pieces shattered as my age increases faster
i can make my thesis matter if i learn to fuckin' talk more

but that's just an inkling, small talk is always shrinking
and this ship will always sink until we fill in all the gaps
i've made some dumb decisions and evaded inhibitions
digging graves for my ambitions just to make it on the map
which seems ironic at present, given my title
periodically stepping through this recital
i've practiced a thousand times, messaging with my idols
and definitely sounding like a dumbass when i try tho

i treat a soundcloud page like a diary
and push away all the people who inspire me--sorry
so afraid of the person i should try to be
and it seems, by now, they should kinda be sorry

flowers ep

discombobulated (prod. mt. fujitive)

woah! aye!

mixed by https://www.twitter.com/lilpolearm @polearm
cover art by https://www.twitter.com/drdful

lyrics:
might just have to rip it thru my nose, lickin' on her toes 
pull up at her door with hella different color roses 
said she wanna go, well where you wanna go? 
'cause i'll go anywhere with you i don't care where we goin' 

can't delay it, been the greatest, no discussion 
topped me by the palm trees, i coconutted 
i ain't yo x but i'll still pull up at the function 
think i found the formula for stacking up these hundreds 

might put bands on my hands like a lobster 
in high school, i was getting slammed into lockers 
now i'm cool, posing for the gram, check my posture 
f's on my tests, bitch i feel like mr. crocker, i'm honored 

hit it from the back like a fender bender 
yeah, i hit it then i dip like a chicken tender 
my wrist iced out like a winter blizzard 
life flashing by now, but you don't get the picture 

run it like an athlete, fuckin' in the backseat 
might just turn this uber ride into a fake taxi 
said that gucci drop was hella hard, i had it last week 
wavy like i'm max b, you ain't have to ask me 

diamonds on diamonds, i feel like steve i had to stack em up 
wilin, we wilin, my shawty drippin like an aqueduct 
so boofed that i can't move and i'm sad as fuck 
still hit her with that pool cue, told her rack 'em up 

balling, i'm balling, i'm like mike with the pump fake 
versace up on me, i'm flexed up, screaming fuck snakes 
designer is fine i could put you in it if you want, babe 
giuseppe, she text me, like are you tryna have a lunch date 

please, i spill the tea 
freshest around like i got the febreeze 
head in the ground like an ostrich, you see 
if you talk down, you ain't talking to me 

'cause i been staring at my pc making beats until my eyes are sore 
flexed up, i get more checks than the verizon store 
next up, 'cept i'm up now, and it's time for war 
competition scared 'cause they know this ain't my final form

final form!

atlas

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