still have so much love for this song 🖤

Still a banger, Never gonna get tired of it

throw back to 5 years ago at midnight at the skatepark too loaded to function

flashbacks to smoking my friends cigs while sneaking out

That guitar got me thinking about my whole life, slim

my playlist

Los Mejores No Lloran

this is a song i wrote about overcoming my mental illness. while i'm nowhere near the end of the journey that it has been, i have learned a lot along the way and improved myself tremendously in the process. the first half of the song represents my state of mind a year ago and before, and the second represents the loving, open-minded, and even somewhat positive (occasionally) person i've become since.

thank you all.

special thanks to chloe, halli, john, jesse, joey (both of you), my mom, my grandparents, my brothers, the rest of my family, my counselors, and everyone who enjoys my music

lyrics:
i'm gonna kill myself one day, i'm sure
i'll be gone and you'll be there still
i've been standing at the edge for far too long; it's time that i jump
or pull me down 'cause either way i'll be gone
and i'm so sorry for the things that i have said
i know it hurts to have to follow
but i've been standing at the bottom of a bottle
with bones made out of glass since i could walk
and i'm still sorry for what i've done

i'm gonna live to tell the tale, i think
i've stared into the mirror for an hour, i don't hate myself no more
and i am sorry for the words that have offended you
and caused an ounce of terror in your stomach
i swear, i swear i'm always getting better
never worse, if only that were true, if only that were true
i can see it in your eyes, it's like a diamond in disguise
it's like a pilot lost his eyes and now he's truly flying blind

flying blind

sample: it looks sad - creature

i saw you in the window of my room
i saw you in the window of my room last night again
i screamed, "please don't go" at you
but those fragile bones still seemed to move so fast
and i know it hurts to hear
but i'm just no god damn good, my dear
i promise you i would not lie
i die to live and live to die

no one ever told me what the words feel like
no one ever told me what the words felt like
when you're asleep in empathy
and i'm awake in entropy

i met you in the parking lot outside of the high school
breathing in the fumes from cigarettes and trying to act cool
you asked me "do you hate yourself? i can tell you fit the part"
i said "self loathing? listen, just don't even start"
can't put into words the way that you intimidated me
was fighting with a mirror over which side was the fakery
we shared our stories, showed our scars
made that promise, crashed your car

no one ever told me what the words feel like
no one ever told me what the words felt like
when you're asleep inside a ditch
passenger seat, i lie and twich 'cause
no one ever told me what the words feel like
no one ever told me what the words felt like
i watched you die and spoke your name
but neither of us felt the same

NO ONE EVER TOLD ME

decided i was going to start an emo band by myself and made this in around four hours

hope it's decent enough for the internet

yelling softly, speaking to you
i can read that expression that you do
it screams loudly towards my eyes
"either something's wrong or someone died"
i'm struggling with everyday things
like going to the bank or buying groceries for us
and it's nothing for you to brush me off like dust on your jacket sleeve
but something in you won't let it happen this week

knowing you
breaking down
what exactly is
that awful sound?

missing you
breaking up
how can i be such a
big fuck up?

knowing you
breaking down
what exactly is
that awful sound?

missing you
breaking up
i'll day drink my way
out of this rut

i'll day drink my way
out of this rut

asking questions you don't even know the answer to
it makes no sense, still it's the only thing that i can do
i wish i was invisible for just one day of my life
i'd be so much better off if i disappeared for eternity
late night phone calls, missing your touch
nothing says "i don't need you these days," quite like not answering does
i am sorry for my mistakes
i'm but a fragile addition to something uncouth, you're the nucleus of this whole world

knowing you
breaking down
what exactly is
that awful sound?

missing you
breaking up
how can i be such a
big fuck up?

knowing you
breaking down
what exactly is
that awful sound?

missing you
breaking up
i'll day drink my way
out of this rut

i'll day drink my way
out of this rut

i'll day drink my way
out of this rut

day drink

an ode to addiction (among other things)

a song that functions as a coping mechanism

maybe i'll leave home today and drive or walk around
i could meet some friends for dinner at a restaurant downtown
but something tells me it's a bad idea to outside
that little voice inside my head that whispers "you might die"

maybe i'll get out of bed and go down to the store
i could buy a couple candy bars or bleed out on the floor
i'm so prone to accidents and awkward little habits
i don't wanna leave my room, i wanna hide out in my attic

i am afraid of everything
i run away from everything

i think i'll go out tonight, and maybe see a movie
'cause there's so much to fear in life, but also so much beauty
i know that my condition is difficult, alright
but i'm sick of letting all my friends believe that they're disliked

so i'm gonna leave my house today
i'm gonna say all that i need to say
and i'll talk to strangers and compliment them
to prove to myself that i'm strengthened again

i am okay with everything
i'll be okay through anything

anxiety; self-reliance

FEATURING @BARRENWASTE
PRODUCED BY @KILLEDMYSELF

...and the days will continue coming (feat. barren) (prod. killedmyself)

...and the days will continue coming

this is an album about the fears and tremors that come with love, and the crisis of not knowing your own identity as yours.

enjoy.

fog & obscure

download

apathy

https://genius.com/Cmk-how-to-escape-lyrics
Sorry this took so long. Thank you all for your patience and support.

How To Escape

this is a song about dissociating 

produced by fats'e 
soundcloud.com/youngburial 
twitter.com/youngburial 

art by ghostly pixels 
twitter.com/ghostly_pixels

lyrics:
laying alone, i dissociate 
laying alone 

i saw a pictureframe 
and it turned out to be a mirror 
my reflection's so much clearer 
when i'm not aware it's me 

i saw a maple tree 
it was growing in my head 
when everybody else was dead 
and i climbed up it just to see 

i saw myself again 
but i stood outside my being 
i could understand that being 
isn't all there is to be 

i see the future now 
got too distracted by the present 
to remember that my head is 
not a vehicle for fear 

and it's a long way down if you fall 
and it's a long way up if you don't 

and it's a long way down if you fall 
and it's a long way out, so 

i sit in the center 
and i ponder my disinterest 
for it all 

it's a lot easier 
to imagine ending things 
(to imagine ending things) 
when i'm watching myself 
from the third person 
(from the third person) 

it's a lot easier 
to imagine changing things 
(to imagine changing things) 
when i'm watching myself 
from the third person 
(from the third person)

dissociate (prod. fats'e)

download <3

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
just know i'm sorry for it all 
i know it must be hard to hear 
i'm glad you left before the fall 
'cause i won't make it past this year 

just know i love you like a rose 
would love the thorns upon its stem 
no matter how they might have dug into my skin 
no matter how things might have ended 
i will wish for you each night, i'll wish your touch was mine again

winter

just know i love you like a rose

when it all falls apart like a house made of cards
i will shuffle this deck 'til i fall asleep
gentle touch, brittle bones, when we talk on the phone
i exist for you, you have all of me

i'm a small speck of dust, an inanimite husk
of my former self, they are vanishing
there's a ghost in my room and it wears the perfume
that you used to wear; it's like you're next to me

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

you're a voice in my head, at the foot of my bed
like a poltergeist, drifting hauntingly
and my mind is a void, for the broken, destroyed
little parts of me, an infinity

this ache in my head makes me quake in my bed
i fixate on it, i can't fall asleep
with this whine in my ears when the silence appears
it is deafining, it is everything

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

real enough

produced by @mt_fujitive

lyrics:

life has got me feeling discombobulated, in place of common phrases
all i say are awkward statements in every conversation
often sitting cautious, pacing, dropping frames in talks with strangers
making observations, in that awful cadence
i've been rather quiet since a sophomore
every time my voice comes out my mouth, it sounds like nails on a chalkboard
saving pieces shattered as my age increases faster
i can make my thesis matter if i learn to fuckin' talk more

but that's just an inkling, small talk is always shrinking
and this ship will always sink until we fill in all the gaps
i've made some dumb decisions and evaded inhibitions
digging graves for my ambitions just to make it on the map
which seems ironic at present, given my title
periodically stepping through this recital
i've practiced a thousand times, messaging with my idols
and definitely sounding like a dumbass when i try tho

i treat a soundcloud page like a diary
and push away all the people who inspire me--sorry
so afraid of the person i should try to be
and it seems, by now, they should kinda be sorry

flowers ep

discombobulated (prod. mt. fujitive)

thanks for 100k on soundcloud <3

thank you to charlie for the fantastic verse 
http://www.soundcloud.com/youngburial 
http://www.twitter.com/youngburial 

and thank you to perry for the wonderful art 
http://www.twitter.com/welcom2helldude 
http://cottoncloudsproductions.tumblr.com

patience is a virtue (feat. fats'e)

Produced by Young Enzo.
Featuring @polearm
Mixed and Mastered by @polearm

Lyrics: https://genius.com/Cloud-mac-make-cults-not-cliques-lyrics

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxkO09cDREw&t=8s

follow my twitter

Make Cults Not Cliques (ft. Polearm)

an ode to escapism

lyrics:
when the dialogue
makes you think you're gonna die soon
i don't listen for the dial tone
i just lay alone and cry

'cause there are such sad songs on the radio
and all my old friends are laying low
trying not to be the people they're afraid of
don't you know?

and the centerpiece
is a little bit of everything
this cacophony is deafening
but no one else can seem to hear

when there are such sad songs on your stereo
and all your old friends don't care at all
trying not to fall apart
they can't take it anymore

when the morning comes
and everything is still amiss
you turn your tv on
and then regret it while you sit

'cause there are such sad stories on the morning news
and every death toll takes more from you
there's an armed gunman in the store with you
it seems, oh, it seems

so you go back to bed
and pretend it's all a dream
if you convince yourself
it's only numbers on a screen

then all the fucked up things that keep happening
will feel much less real than they have to be
much less real than they
actually are

patience is a virtue (feat. fats'e)

atlas

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