this is dedicated to someone we lost recently. please listen and read this.

in early 2020 near the start of covid, everyone was looking for friends online. i met you through the saintgoose server and not too long after, we became friends. throughout our friendship i got to know one of the most generous, positive, thoughtful people i had ever met. it's like your goal in life was to make people happy.

i can't stress how good you were to me. you would send me opens when nobody else would. you'd invite me to group chats with people who i'd become good friends with for a time and who'd lead me to the friends i have today. you'd just spread positivity out of nowhere, randomly sending messages of praise or gifts.

one time i remember opening discord to a screenshot you sent me of you and a bunch of people you invited to hang out in my roblox game i spent so much time making. you made me feel so proud of what i created and of myself and my skills and who i was as a person. i can't thank you enough for what you brought to my life. you represent everything that makes me enjoy life so much. people ask me why i'm so happy all the time. it's because of people like you who accept people like me.

it's so sad dude. we were just kids when i knew you. i met you when you were 13 and your birthday was coming up just a month after mine. do you remember? we used to just mess around and play games all day with everyone to pass the time cause of covid lol. do you remember making all those stupid meme songs in all those different group chats or when you invited me to feature in end of stephen? i feel like it hasn't been that long but in about 6 months it's gonna be 4 years since i met you. 

the burden of remembering all our memories now lies on me alone.  but i'm okay with that because i don't want to ever forget. you brought more light to people's lives in your short time with us than so many other people have done in their entire lives. you were always bringing people together. even in death, just look at your latest instagram post. almost 600 comments. everyone uniting all in your name. few people have the power to bring that many people together just out of pure love.

seriously, dude. rest in peace. i'm so sad that your life was taken from you. i'm so sad that there is so much you never got to see. someone like you deserves to see all the good the world can offer. you were someone that people could trust their lives with. you deserve so much better than what this earth gave you. you are someone i want the world to take inspiration from. that's why i vow to bring your name with me everywhere i go, in all the good that i do. it's because the whole world deserves to know someone like you.

writing this about a week after you passed, i cry every night for you, and i want to never stop. you deserve to have someone cry over losing you every night. you deserve to have people who will think of you every day. if it were up to me, the world would be crying over you. it just scares me to think that one day i might stop. one day i might forget because i always forget. because one day we drifted apart, and time passed and i forgot. but i never want to forget you and what you did for me and for so many others. 

when i get to heaven and God asks me who i'm most excited to see, i want you to be right up at the top of my list. i'll tell you about all the things i accomplished in your name and all the good you inspired me to do. and i hope we can look down at the earth and see how much better the world is because of you.

lls. <3

< 33

prod. taymxru

lyrics:
my autonomy
escaped from me
i feel..

a part of me broke off
i try but i can't reach

mourn and motive's not clear

my autonomy
escaped from me
i feel..

a part of me broke off
i try but i can't reach

mourn and motive's not clear

autonomy

original: https://soundcloud.com/janeremover/be-back-soon.

lyrics:
i'll hold down the fort for you.
cause i know that's what you would want.
spent your life protecting the peace.
if you want, you can rest in my heart. (until my heart stops.)

and the past fades over time.
i forget about you and i.
but the burden of remembering's now just mine.

now i vow to remember your name.
cause the world deserves to know about you.

when i get to heaven.
before i get let in.
when God asks me who i'm excited to see you'll be.
at the top of my list.

and when i cry for you,
i hope you know, i'm crying cause the world would have missed you.
if they just knew how much you changed my life, they'd cry for you too.

goldfish

prod. saint mike

lyrics:
notice,
kick me out.
lozenge,
clear my throat.

break from me,
it all begins to fall.
i know that you belong,
but you dont, at all.

break from me.
break from me.

no life,
i could wait. 
peace out,
till we meet again.

break from me,
it all begins to fall.
i know that you belong,
but you dont, at all.

break from me.
break from me.
break from me.

< 33

atone