Epic Rap Battles

Hello, this is our first rap battle. It features Fallout icon Vault Boy versing the main character from L.A. Noire, Cole Phelps! Expect more of these to come soon (Every other Sunday)

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY!
VS!
COLE PHELPS!
BEGIN!

Cole Phelps:
Hey Vault Boy, I'm gonna kick your ass
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass.
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
I will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
You're such a little bitch, no wonder daddy ran away.
My name is Cole Phelps, hoe, I'm from L.A. Noire
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are.
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window
to unlock the door, but instead you use a lockpick and a cord.
Ouch, hear that burn? Ain't that a kick in the head?
No holes in the bowl, eat irradiated bread!
You let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to Megaton.
You're a villified vilian, I'mma take you in.
Have you freakin' question by my partner Herschel Biggs.

Vault Boy:

My name is Vault Boy and I am a Swift Learner.
Your games are a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar.
That game L.A. Noire is a Bloody Mess
I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying prescence.
I am called Lord Death, I'm a real lady killer
Maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers.
I'm a rad child, you're just a stupid piece of shit.
I solve cases on terminals cuz I'm a Computer Whiz.
All my companions make everything easy.
And guess what, none of them hate me.
I gotta strong back, I carry all of my junk
It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk.
Nuka Cola, Sarsapirilla, drinking Victory.
Between you and me, you're always crashing in a tree.
I will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
Stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm.

Cole Phelps:
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise.
Doing what I do makes me *chi ching*
I know where things are when I hear *ding ding*

Vault Boy:
Oh please, you got washed out your ass
My currency is decent cause I have some bottle caps, BITCH.
I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earl a deal.
You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, well guess what, I did, now go squeal.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!!!


Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 1.

Two composers go at it in a rap battle. Wolfgang Amadaues Mozart and Skrillex.
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
MOZART
VS
SKRILLEX
BEGIN

Mozart:
Mr. Skrillex
Sonny John Moore
What else can I say?
Your music is a bore.
Artist of the year?
More like the yearly queer
You're not a musician.
You're a student that can't afford his tuition
What are those noises?
Robot sex?
That's unbelievable.
Wow, Skrillex.
My ass makes better music
So go ahead and chew it
Maybe learn something from it
If not, then go suck it.

I'm the king of composing, BITCH, Can't you hear?
I will Bangarang your Ellie on the First of the Year
You're a Gypsyhooker, you like it in the ear
Cut some of that damn hair off, use it for a beard!


Skrillex:
*evil laugh*
You think your a better composer?
More like a Beethoven poser
Better get off your lazy ass
and stop making music with a toaster!
My name is Skrillex.
Don't forget.
You bitch,

You're just an animal that can't make music worth shit
Take that ink pen and feather and shove them in your dick.

Because you can't compose
Or get any hoes.
I got plenty of cash to give
So suck my big load.

You think your little instruments can take me for a stand?
I will break into your home, smash and kidnap Constanze.
Oh, I'm sorry, by policy, I can't get with a man.
Millions are at my concerts, have fun with only one fan

Mozart:
Any guy named Skrillex.......probably sucks dick
My burns cause "Fire and Ice"....so go and Lick it.
You sit on your lazy ass and make music with a blender.
Your hairstyle's kinda stupid...it goes to what gender?

Skrillex:
With a Wub Wub here and a Wub Wub there.
My Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites, will chase you outta my lair
You think a 18th century faggot could take on the 
*ECHO* "All mighty Skrillex!!!!*
I'll sit with all my money in the studio, have fun playing with stones and sticks

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

E-E-E-EEPPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!


Mozart vs Skrillex. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 2.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
JOHN MARSTON!
VS
NIKO BELLIC!
BEGIN!

Niko:
I am the baddest of the bad in the Liberty City
You're a drunken cowboy, whose cousin doesn't like titties.
I can ride my motorcycles and my mega sports car
Massacring hospitals, you can only shoot up bars.
When you get home, your wife smacks you in the face
I can get a million girlfriends with my online dates.
*ring ring ring*
Hello?

Roman:
 Cousin, let's go bowling!!!!!

Niko:
For the last time, I don't want to go bowling!!

John:
Go back to Europe, you foreign prick
Or I will mess up your life, like I did Van Der Line's
I will stomp you with my boots, like I did with a cockroach
Go back in your little taxis, I'll relax on the stagecoach.
The Tw@ cafe, is the only twat you'll ever get
So here's one dollar, go ahead in...
You can't drive a car, or even a bicycle
Let alone four horses on a wagon, doing a pull.


Niko:
Cluckin Bell, Burger Shot, why don't you have both?
When the church bell rang, you got shot, what a joke
For god sakes you can't swim, what the hell man?
Your son Jack's a little pussy, can't even skin a damn elk.
Nobody likes you, you got betrayed.
Don't open the barn door, you'll get sprayed

John:
Stand over there, let's have a duel
You can't handle a gun bro, go back to school.
And your Roman Bellic? He is a damn retard.
24/7 he's always in the titty bar.
Doesn't matter though, I won this battle
Continue being poor, I'll ride my Saddler.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EEEEPIIIICCCCCCC RAAAAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!!

John Marston vs Niko Bellic. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 3.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

PUFF-PUFF 
VS
STEVE SMITH

BEGIN!

Puff-Puff:
Hello, little bitch, Steve Smith, I'mma show you who can
be the better red jacket, glasses wearer, you little faggot.
You alien-smugger, I will make you drink your Orphan Tears
After I kill your mom and dad from getting White Boy Wasted, queer.
Good morning U.S.A.? Bitch, I live on Jupiter.
Grandma got a facebook, poking you, it makes  you look stupider.
I Fight to Win, bitch, I'm Stalking Your Mom
You are extremely poor, bro, write a Bartender Song.

Steve Smith:
I'll show you the better red jacket with my Hogwart's spells.
I'll take your Tig Ol' Bitties, make your life a living Hell.
You're not my Favorite Martian, you're like a Kelly Clarkson.
You got what I need? Bitch, My Balls are the stars man.
Runaway planet? Yes, it ran from your stupid ass.
I'll Boom Headshot on your Grandma's face, it will be a blast.
Don't get your fans excited for an album, you stupid prick
You tried to go all Hollywood, and look how it ended.

Puff-Puff:
You searched for 8 years for a girl to bone
You can't get none, bro, you're left in the Friend Zone.
Your mom looks like sex. She'll always Text Me Back.
But the Bitch got a penis, and she's also Dookie Fresh.

Steve Smith:
Puff-Puff Humbert, I love the way you lie
My raps will TAKE OVER THE WORLD, so go ahead and die.
Nobody likes your shit, you lasted forty three songs
Sorry Puff-puff...your band, it didn't last long.


WHO WON 

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Puff Puff vs Steve Smith. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 4.

Special Guest appearance by WoodenHornets!

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

HARRY STYLES

VS

PAUL MCCARTNEY!!!!!!!!


BEGIN!

Harry:
Let's all walk one direction, To break this dude's complexion
I bet you when you see us , you get a massive erection.
The Beatles are old news. I'll stomp you with my Old Brown shoes.
So get your asses back in your Yellow Submarine cruise.
I killed John Lennon with my beautiful voice
Your audience is just a bunch of thirteen year teenage boys
 We will never go in your direction, so get off our route,
 we will rock and roll all your wives brains out!

Paul:
Where do five gay guys walk? One Direction
When your fangirls see me, they all get erections.
You sound like a 12 year old boy trying to figure out autotune
Even Taylor Swift tells me I have more British meat than you
No need to hide the fact you are gay, just Let It Be,
Nothing makes you beautiful you "swaggy" prepubescent baby!
Crawl your ass back to the X Factor and admit your defeat.
Here, let's rock at my concert instead, take a seat.

Harry:
Who the hell are Ringo Starr and George Harrison?
You and those bitches against 1D? No comparison
Screw off, old gieser! Your time is done.
 Quit making music and let us "Live while we're young"


Paul:
Your whole band is a joke, just a rehash Harry,
everybody knows you were influenced by me!
Yeah, Live while you're young, start screaming YOLO
But nothing will stop you guys from being extremely homo.

WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE.

Paul McCartney vs Harry Styles - Epic Rap Battle Parodies 5

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
TOM ANDERSON
VS
MARK ZUCKERBERG
BEGIN!

Mark:
Hello Tom Anderson, it's time you take a look
Nobody uses MySpace, we all use Facebook.
I'd look at your profile but where the hell do I go?
That update you made, it like, seriously blows
I'll take that whiteboard and smash your face through it.
When they bury you I'll write, here lies a bitch.
You got the empty space inspriation from where you like to jerk.
I think it's time that I show you the better Social Network.

Tom:
Aren't you colorblind? That's why Facebook is blue?
That explains why you can't see that I'm better than you
My update sucks? Look at your timeline
At least my website didn't cause a bunch of suicides.
I have 200,000,000 friends, you can only have 5,000
I'll make my site return, then I'll throw you over the mountain.
You dropped out of Harvard just to shit around the Internet
I'll send your girl Priscilla Chan my personal friend request 

Mark:
Listen here "Lord Flathead", you don't know how to hack
A decent and usable server is something you lack
Your website caused more deaths than the Holocaust
MySpace is a website that is more lonely than the island on L.O.S.T.
I can gather my friends like sheep in a herd,
all your stupid friends just "forgot" their password!
You changed MySpace from black to blue?
Hell, even Google + has more users than you.



Tom:
Your website became cancerous, just ask the swagfags (OBEY)
I'd play that dumbass Farmville but all it does is lag.
Bitch, this isn't tumblr, take off those "inspirational quotes"
You erase the funny jokes, but keep the dead baby POSTS?!?!?! (1 like, 1 prayer...)
You can't even play music on your damn profile.
Your whole damn site is a magnet for pedophiles.
I made plenty of money, so suck my dick.
Your ass got beat? Ha, Tom Anderson likes this!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES.

Tom Anderson VS Mark Zuckerberg. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 6.

Legend of Zelda shopkeeper and mask salesman, The Happy Mask Salesman, rap battle against Resident Evil 4 shopkeeper The Merchant, to see who the creepier salesman is.

LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
THE MERCHANT
VS
THE HAPPY MASK SALESMAN

BEGIN!

Happy Mask Salesman:
Oh hi, 72 hours remain, before I kick your ass to shame
I'm telling you, you're gonna shit yourself when you see me in-game.
Alrighty stranger, we ain't gonna buy your herbs.
Let that clock tick down, then the moon will kick you off my turf
You shouldnt've done that? I made Ben drown
Remove that dumb bandana so I can laugh at that frown
You sound like a 50 year old guy who smoked a lot
Explain to me how you feel when Leon walks past your shop.

Merchant: *laugh*
Hello stranger, you got your facts flipped.
Tell me why your pedophilic ass has to scare those little kids
Don't look at me with that stupid ass grin you creepy damn clown
The reason I wear this bandana is so that I don't see your ass in Clock Town
I sell all of my shit, you're just a loan shark
At least when I wanna sell something, stranger, the price is a decent mark
Me kick your ass? Ahh I'll buy it at a high price!

The moon doesn't wanna see your ass, so he crushed your town with all his might.

Happy Mask Salesman:
I once heard this story of the Merchant who cried Bankrupt
Did umbrella get to you or did you think you actually won?
I'll light the blue torches, sell everything in your shop
Sorry Merchant, you lose, just...please.....stop.

Merchant:
Got a lot a good things on sale, stranger, your victory isn't one.
What are ya buyin? Sike, I would never let you be a customer, son.
24 hours remain, better get your shit and fly
Want another ass beating? (Hhaha,) come back any time.


WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES 


The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 7

Son of Poseaiden rap battles Quidditch member Harry Potter to see who the king of magic is.

LYRICS:


<<< EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
HARRY POTTER!
VERSUS!
PERCY JACKSON!
BEGIN!

Percy:
I am a brave spirited,natural leader, willing to risk my life for friends
I'd say the same for you, but you don't have parents
I'm the Hero of Olympus, you're just a Half-Blood Bitch
Hermoine took my magic wand and gave it a lick 
Are you and Ron together? That's very gay
You got some great stories. HA! J.K.
Abra kadabra Alakazam,
I'll lock you with some shackles in the Prison of Azkaban.

Harry:
Bloody Hell, we got an emo fag, who thinks that
he is all the best with his Uncle Zeus and his major Dyslexia.
You're just a little swaggot from the 2000s decade
You didn't know those Greek gods, big talk wont get you laid.
Very funny that you say that Ron and I are together
But you got a goat boy, you can't do better.
I got Hermoine Granger, she's right next my face.
Did I tell you that my wand rocked your girlfriend Annabethe Chase?

Grover:
You sick bastard. Why do you diss my best friend?
I think somebody's jealous because their magic stick don't stand.
It took you seven books  just to kill a bad guy
And the one you trusted the most, haha, he had to die.
Seriously, grow up. Stop using fake card tricks
Your magic wand is probably 100 times bigger than  your dick.
I have to say that ginger friend of yours is indeed gay
So you two listen up, the closet is that-a-way!

Ron:
Thanks for pointing to the place where you and Percy pucker up
Even Luke has better looks than you two, so good luck
So you're a "demigod", Percy? That sounds a bit made up
Are you sick ducks  the reason there's skeet in Hufflepuff's Cup?
My basilisk just happened to Slytherin to Annabeth's Chamber of Secrets
Harry, shall we Avada Kedavra these phonies?

Harry:
Yes, let's

Ron:
Before we kill you and be done with this, we just want to remind ya
The light from this spell will permanently blind ya!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!



Harry Potter vs Percy Jackson. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 8

Hosts of Blue's Clues Steve and Joe, battle against each other to see who deserves to be the host of Blue's Clues.

LazySundayPaper as Steve
Justin Buckner as Joe


LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
STEVE
VS
JOE

BEGIN!

Joe:
Oh no, I'm scared, we got this guy Stevie
getting ready to harm us with his elementary.
Nobody wants to touch your handy dandy notebook.
Sit down in your thinking chair and think unlike a crook.
Stop smoking hardcore shrooms, you can't jump through walls.
I mean Jesus Christ, why the hell do you trip balls?!?!
Don't drop the Slippery Soap, you'll bend down and repel
I'll meet you in the bathroom, and give you my Joe and Tell.
I'm sitting here thinking why the hell are you here?
Green striped shirt? Ha...you look like a queer
I feel bad for you, blue paint is always on the carpet
I'll kick you out the DOE, like it was a Sparta kick
Okay, big brother, get out of this TV Show
I'm the host now, BITCH, I'll let you clean the floors (pronounce it like FLOWS)

Steve:
We just got a letter, I wonder who it's from
It's probably from that studio telling you that your run is done.
Sit on my thinking chair and grab my handy dandy notebook
I'm surprised you even have a wife, judging by your looks.
Let's all go and find "Blues..Clues"
Here's a clue, your hairstyle makes you look like a jew.
They replaced me with you because they felt bad
Little kids seeing you host makes them sad.

Joe:
You did not even think about going that far
I'm sure in twenty years, you'll be drunk at the bar.
I mean, Jesus Christ, you look like a thug now
I saw Magenta with Blue...BOOM-KA POW!
You made an album called Songs for Dustmites? lol
Sounds like a twelve year old's words after smoking a bowl.
100 shows? God DAYUM, that's like a world record.
Sit down on that thinking chair, let me give you a lecture.

*Talking*
"Big bro, okay, you were a good host.
But unfortunatley, i'm the one that kids like the most."
Steve:
That's a bunch of bullshit, biggest lie ever
A time kids bitched about me? Probably never
Joe:
Fine, you win, you're a much better host, bro.
Doesn't change the fact that you look like a hobo

Steve:
You look like a freaking guy that's done hardcore drugs
I talked to Sasha last night, I rocked her jugs....

Oh well little hoe, I want you go back to talking to a table
I'll add it to the list of "Joe's non- Fascinating Fables"
Nobody even likes you, they bitch about you, rotten teeth
They like..Pimp STEVE, and bro I think you'd better leave.
Tell that bitch Magenta that Blue will come back and hunt her 
Oh wait, I take that back, I'M GONNA..... CUT HER!!!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!


Steve vs Joe. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 9.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
SLENDERMAN
VS
ENDERMAN
BEGIN!

I see you've joined my server, so get ready for pain
Your white face and black suit have gone and picked the wrong game
I'd have it with you, Slendy; stop, don't talk
Watch me tear your woods apart, block by block!
I'll take Steve's diamond sword and chop off your arms
You're just a staticy mess, who doesn't cause harm!
My land is infinite, there's just a forest in your world
Stop placing your eight pages and come lick my Ender Pearls!

Slender:
You fruity glowing faggot, lemme show you the ropes
Come find me in my lair, grab my pages, wish for hope
That you wont get buttraped by my flailing tentacles
I will crush you into pieces, turn you into minerals
I'm making boys and girls piss themselves in fear
All you can do is move a block over here
I won't lick your Ender Pearls, I'll just rip them straight off
You don't even need to exist, you damn ripoff.

Enderman:
You're just dancing in your forest in formal attire
Want to see real fear? Come step on this tripwire
 I'll take you down a Notch, don't tread on my biome
I'll remove you like Herobrine, cause this is MY home
I've got zombies and Creepers and dragons in my band
You think you're tough as a diamond, but I'll dig through you like sand
Stop acting so brave, there's no need to pretend
You messed with me, now welcome to The End

Slender:
Water and rain, really that's your biggest fear?
No need to run, I can teleport, anywhere near
Your suit is just black latex, mixed with fabric
If you get in my face again, watch your screen static.
I am as tough as a diamond, you're just a dust particle
I will stand and watch you sleep, from a very far mile
Take your little block of things, you're getting kicked out.
I will Linda Blaire your ass. Show you what scary's all about


WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Slender Man vs Enderman. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 10

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
TONY MONTANA
VS
AL CAPONE
BEGIN
Capone:
It's time to leave a scar on your face when I Ca-pwn your ass
You're sent to a refugee camp while I chill on Alcatraz
I'm the Godfather, what are you political prisoner?
I'd tell you where the money is,  but you're not a good listener
Despite my possible illegitimate occupation
You're the guy who collects balls on your game for the PlayStation
Put your hands up, feel the wrath of Tommy gun
The World is Mine, you're my bitch. Have fun.

Montana:
You massacred on Valentines Day Mr. Al Capone
The reason why? You were probably forever alone
You ragequitted school, then you starting doing drugs
What's the matter bitch? Never got a mommy hug?
Watch out Capone I'm completely insane, 
don't turn around there's a chance you'll get gang banged
 You ended up with syphillis, I banged your wife Mae
Get on your knees for mercy, that will make my day.

Capone:

Despite committing murder and other crimes for years
You're the one that's on his knees crying in tears
Your wife Elvira really put her Han on my rock
Take those green cards and shove them in your piss slot


Montana:
You're the one in tears after that ghost encounter
You're the Robin Hood of gangsters, I'm the original founder
You're a dumb son of a bitch, this battle will now end
Before I leave "Say hello to my little friend"

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Tony Montana vs Al Capone. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 11

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
JACK THE RIPPER!
VERSUS!
JEFF THE KILLER!
BEGIN!

Jack the Ripper
Dear Jeff, I keep on hearing that you think you can beat me
You're just a kid; I'm the greatest killer in all of history
I have laughed when you talk about putting me to rest
I'd mutilate you, but I've only killed people who've had sex!
Oh! Do you feel that burn, like vodka and bleach?
Now I'll let you join your family among the tortured and deceased
Break your Elizabeth stride when I snap your legs in half
Followed by your arms; it's a Double Event of my wrath!

Jeff the Killer
(evil giggle) You lied to me
You told me that you'd win, but unblinking I see
That you only killed five back in 1888
So it's time for Leather Apron to meet my lovely leather face!
Nobody knows who you are, can't even decide on a name
But who am I? I'm some guy achieving Internet fame
You won't be writing letters anymore once I'm released
I'll turn the R-I-P in Ripper into Rest In Peace!

Jack the Ripper
You're a Joker ripoff, right down to the smile
Went insane and left in flames on the bathroom floor tile
Nobody ever caught me; you're all bark and no bite
A creepypasta pedo hunting kids throughout the night!
While you're busy getting children, I'm sticking my blade in women
I'll drink your blood like ginger beer before it has time to thicken
They call me Saucy Jacky, I'm sure to be the winner
So good luck defeating me; yours truly, Jack the Ripper!

Jeff the Killer
You're one to talk about ripoffs; you've spawned millions
And yet nobody could prove that you even exist
You're a hoax; a British media publicity stunt
Your knife's so nice and sharp, but I'll be cruel and blunt!
Want to come to a party? It'll be so fun
Whether at the bus stop or backyard, I'll have this battle won
I'm the white hoodie From Hell, here to make you weep
Now lie back, relax...and go to sleep...

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jack the Ripper vs Jeff the Killer. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 12

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
TOM SAWYER 
VS
HUCKLEBERRY FINN
BEGIN!

Huckleberry Finn:
it's time to settle this once and for all,
Which one of the Twain boys will rise and fall
Hold on Boy Im from the land of missouri
Out rap you so hard You'll be running in a fury
Its A Damn Shame You Gotta Handle A Jury
I'm a hero! A prodigy from southern USA! 
So you might as well shut the heck up, I will win anyway!
Sail Away On your little boat.. BOMB BOY AYE
 
Tom Sawyer:
Fuckleberry Faggot, where do I even begin?
Are you gonna fake your own death just to coward out again?
While I am sleeping on my bed like a normal functional kid,
I see you in a barn in a cardboard box, You dumb shit!
There's no need for me to rap, is that whatcha meant?
You're the one that should shut up, your book got banned because of your accent!
Yo my name is Tom Sawyer, i got mean mean pride,
You never got laid, i already have a bride!

Huckleberry Finn:
Steppin' up to me? Compared to you, I'm a saint!
So much confidence, one could say Im goin' hard in the paint!
CUM on you little faggle
 Come and eat my big apples
Im livin the the tough life thats whats happnin
I guess you can call me Aladdin 
"And as Tom is standing in front of that unpainted fence,
he starts to realize he's nothing but a failure without parents"
Its Like Batman With No inheritance 


Tom Sawyer:
Are ya complaining 'bout my rhymes, and my ways to deliver?
I spit rhymes with more flow than the Mississippi River!?
I've got Becky by my side, when was the last time you was in a love duet?
The only friend you've got 's a middle-aged black runaway slave!
The fence is getting whiter, but I'm not painting as you can tell
And I'm not kidding around Finn, I can make people rap for me as well
Your father always beats you because he was the town drunk
This battle's over now, AND I DON'T GIVE A HUCK

WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC PIC PIC PIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Tom Sawyer vs Huckleberry Finn. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 13

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
EMINEM 
VS
MACKLEMORE
BEGIN

Macklemore:
This battle will leave you crying like that guy, you know, Stan?
I mean, you should be imprisoned, you killed your number one fan.
Can’t spell your own name, that’s why your E’s backwards
And my recognition grew faster than your dick, you bastard.
You got beaten by your papa, that's what all your songs are about
You should try to make something original other than anger and pout
Say "I'm not afraid" one more time, I know your wrong
Shit it was 99 cents and still no body bought your songs

Eminem:
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Marshall Mathers
the greatest rapper of all time, unlike this swagger-jacker
I'm not afraid to beat your ass , bring you hell till I collapse
I've made myself a great life despite my painful past
All you got is your thrift shoppers who want their money back
I'm the world's greatest rapper and I ain't even black
I grew up in the streets bitch, and i spit a verbal flood
I'll  take that 20 dollars and cover your fur coat with blood
Macklemore:
I’ll steal your grandpa’s style and walk away smilin
Now when IM gone I don’t wanna see you crying
Show me the "Proof" that you even had a friend
Just like your D12 group, they need to come to an end.
You're mother almost died while giving birth? I wouldn't blame her.
And she even tried to sue you, mother of the year, right there!
The only thing this faggot can do is get de-homed,
theres only so many ways i can say you got owned!
Slim Shady:
Now that the real Slim Shady has finally stood up
I'm gonna tell Ben Faggerty to just shut the fuck up
You Cinderella Man, dressing up in your mom's fur coat.
You base all your songs on a retarded kids quote
My name is Slim shady dont forget it macklemore
Cause owning over and over is becoming a chore!
I'm the rap battle king, haven't you seen 8 mile? Sheesh!
Your raps stink more than R Kelly's Piss sheets
Andy Milonakis:
I rock peas on my head, but don't call me a peahead
it's time to show these swaggy-faggies that they truly inbred
I had my own show on MTV, all you had was lawsuits
You should be in a basket, because your raps are like fruits
That means you're little homosexuals that whine and cry
and write raps about your lifestory and how you want to die
Humor is a great defense mechanism
My raps will grow unlike my congential hormone syndrome.
Macklemore, more like Macklewhore, what's up with that?
Did Ryan Lewis touch your cold ass honkey, in your pants you went ka-splat?
I would rather eat a bag of Skittles than acknowledge Eminem
I will brutally stab you, throw you in a trunk like Kim
If you're a  dumb, spitting, wigger you're not the king of rap
Emimore, you're about get conjoined with a bitch slap
You're never gonna diss the Schmandy Schmilishmokas
Because it's my show, I'm Andy Milonakis

Eyedea:
I'm back from the dead, the monster inside has been released
By the end even eninem won't dream, you'll be deseased
I'm the God of freestyle your reading scripts to try and diss
You bring out my purest digust, you and your writers get me pissed
I'm the best kind, teach you a lesson We ain't fessin
Miss by a mile, blindly firin' well my rhymes are the best medicine
I've got abilities on my side so big Macklemore, try not to cry
I'd say I'm sorry to you homies but rockstars don't apologize
Slim Shady's just another joke, nobody knows the real him
And what the hell's a Milonakis, never heard of ya' double chin  
You have sinned against your savior hope the lord’s willing to free ya '
Just remember you can kill the man, but not the Eyedea.
Mac Miller:
Yo, hold on K.I.D.S , Mac Mill in the build
"Life Ain't Easy" when you're rapping against me
It's a good evening to walk the walk
with these Nikes on my feet
My raps are iller, you can call me Mac Miller
You can call me Mac Miller
M. Jackson, I'm so thriller
rhymes so sick
you’ll be “under the weather”
when it comes to rap 
it's got my name
“Diamond and gold” 
I got the fortune and fame
I'm running this rap game
I slap the Language out your mouth
You need “English lane”
“ONE MORE THING”
Funny thing is your ass is worse than LIL WAYNE
All of yall, I'm putting your name to fucking shame
Kid Rock:
ROOOOCK ON!! Kid Rock's here to kick some ass!
Just like my guitars, I put my raps on full blast
I'm Born Free, Rock and Rolling with Jesus
But before I do it again, I'll leave you re-habbers defeated.
Macklemore, you're just a boy talking about a gay bar
I can make a better song with a broken guitar
And marshall mathers or slim shady? Either way I'll teach you a lesson, 
Why don't you quit trying to rap and take some anti depressants?
Mr. Milonakis, you ain't packing heat you're packing pork,
 Why don't you get off your lazy ass and maybe put down the fork?
I've got an Eyedea, how 'bout I hang you by the throat, 
Everyone knows your not gonna die of a rap overdose.
Tupac:
The king has entered, so All Eyez on Me
I'm a hardcore legend, unlike these cracker pussies
I'll take all you punks at once, So lets see what you got, 
I'll own your asses faster than my black ass got shot]
Got a pack three times my name, ya'll are lame
you're a bunch of silly ass white rappers gaining cheap fame
So badass I was in jail before I was even born.
I'm a shining serpent with rhymes that don't get worn.
Ching ching, broke bitches, it's Check Out Time
And then time to sit yo asses down for a lesson in rhyme
Your raps are criminal, have fun with the fuzz
I'll snort and smoke you so harder than Snoop Dogg does
Keep ya head up, everybody, cause these fools going down
Shit's going down , the thug OG runs this town
They took me out in 96, but I'm still on stage, with B.I.G.
and the world will always remember me as the real MC
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES


Eminem vs Macklemore. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 14

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
 JAMES BOND! 
VERSUS! 
AUSTIN POWERS!
 BEGIN!

James Bond: 
007, yeah, you can call me James Bond 
You think you're gonna win? Well you're damn wrong 
I'll kick your ass, From Russia with Love 
Yeah, you can't get enough, I'm a ladies' man 
You think you've got a decent movie?
You're not even groovy, face it, you're losing
My rhymes are ill You better not move, I got a Power of Will 
And a License to Kill
I'll kill you in this free-for-all
Me and you know that I truly Thunderball

 Austin Powers: 
Yeah baby, yeah, this ought to be pretty groovy 
I'm a badass unlike you in almost all of your movies 
I'm the official Man of Mystery, there's no competition
 To beat you? Easily every spy's mission 
I'm sorry man, I didn't mean to hurt your wee feelings 
I'll beat your ass and hang you up onto the ceiling
 A ladies' man, baby? You don't deserve that reputation.
 When the only dates you get are from the Make-A-Wish Foundation

 James Bond:
You ruined a spy's name, you ruined a British land 
You, sir, have no game, you're so lame
 Your teeth, WHOA, it's a damn shame 
Get on your knees, you're my new Bond girl 
In the words of Skrillex, you can suck my big load
You sent Mini-Me to do your fighting 
Oh my god, so frightening!
 What the Bullocks? What the hell are you wearing?
 It looks like a gay orgy
 Made you the bitch and began spraying 
You're an abortion from Fantasia 
I'm the original, I'm the reason Hollywood made ya

Austin Powers: 
All your rhymes are done and now I'm about to get serious 
My raps are like dynamite, they make you all delirious 
So come at me, you little wannabe detective 
I get all the glory, I'm really respective
 It took me three movies to beat the bad guy
 With all your crappy films, you deserve to die 
This battle is over, so here's my last line
 Every bad story has to end, I guess it's your time

WHO WON?
 WHO'S NEXT?
 YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

James Bond vs Austin Powers. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 15

Nathan as Nathan
Justin as Justin

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES PARODIES
NATHAN PROVOST
VS
JUSTIN BUCKNER
BEGIN!

Justin:
Looks like I'm Justin time to lay down the hurt
You call yourself a rapper but all I see is pure dirt
You can't get real girls, I'm a pimp can't you see?
Stop with the google girlfriends instead, 
SuperThingsOnCups:
JOIN EHARMONY!!
Justin:
Let me tell you about All the Stories on how I've kicked your ass
You're just a White Kid thinking that he can rap really fast
My editing was bad? You forgot to zoom in the backgrounds
on Mozart vs Skrillex when the characters moved around
Nathan, just listen, you always procrasti-NATE
You never film your parts in time, THEY ALWAYS COME IN LATE
You say you are obsessed with ERB, but 
Yet from what I can see, you're a rip off of DAMNTV!

Nathan: 
Otay, who's  this dickwad? The creator of this show?
Your rapping's way worse than when you played as Al Capone
This guy named Justin is way past his prime,
I'll put the W E in W/E into Winning Everytime!
When you dressed up in a suit, you weren't very Slender
Even Mr. Skrillex says "go make music with a blender."
I am ashamed the fact that you take all the crediting
The first and third battles were hated because your awful editing
Don't try to diss me, you won't even win
You think you're better because you're older?, you look like you're ten
You think you're great, all I see is a kid in a gay ass shirt.
You're not a rapper, You're just a Buckner who's butthurt

Justin:
Oh you almost have a thousand subs, congratu-freakin-lations
You got the worst accusations, just stop it already Nathan
With your lack of education and my rhymes in combination
It'll cause health complications that require medication
Just because you have green screen lighting and an expensive microphone
You think you're a pro musician but you aren't that well known
I won this battle now, look at the judge's panel
Go back to making unfunny videos on your gaming channel


Nathan:
JB are your initials, and you're like Justin Bieber
He's not cool, everyone hates him and nobody likes YOU either
You have 30,000 YouTube channels, just pick one for god's sake
Not to mention a ghost hunting channel,  I'm sure the evidence was fake
You freak out everytime your video gets a dislike
And you raged when your cover got a copyright strike
The truth is bro, in life you'll never succeed
So just leave ERBParodies, you make everyone's ears bleed.


WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Nathan Provost vs Justin Buckner. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 16

Lyrics: 

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD
VERSUS
IRATE GAMER
BEGIN!


Irate Gamer:
Cowabunga! Time to beat this ugly dork from the past,
The ultimate duel of angry gamers has finally come at last!
You say I'm a copier of your show? Well, that's just damn absurd,
You are just an angry retard, you're not even really a nerd!
Your show is as lame as it gets! atleast mine has special effects
Ill take down this geek like G.I Joe took down the jets
I reviewed the worst games dude, your videos are simply a bore,
You have entered the Game Lab, now lemme give you a tour!
AVGN? doesnt even compare to the I.G
cuz this O.G is gonna make this has ben R.I.P
ET was something I reviewed before it was known,
I'll show you my robot Rob, He's as cool as a drone!
You wana duel with me? Ill make you my bitch in defeat!
since all you seem to talk about is the importance of skeet!
I'll Super Smash your hot wife, because you have all of my hate,
In other words, you little shit, YOU MAKE ME IRATE!
Angry Video Game Nerd:
YA know whats bullshiiit? Copy fuck farts like you,
Who think they can re create my show, and claim its something new!
Forget you man, lookin at your face makes me wanna hurl,
Just like Nintendo Power, You have the rap level of a girl!
Screw you, you're an anal bead covered in spit,
To make reviews of games you need to at least have some wit!
You need way more emotion to actually gain fans,
I have been making movies before you even had hands!
Bitch I'm a legend, I'll  cinemassacre your family,
you're just a troll-magnet, while i get all the flattery
Quit sittin around, jerking your Qbert on your NES
What kind of 25 year old fatass has never touched a girls' breasts?!?!
I'mma finish your ass like Legend of Zelda 2,
You are a solo douchebag trying to mess with my crew!
Angry Video Game Nerd don't forget it, I know you'll lose,
Because you love kissing my ass, just for a couple thousand views!
Irate Gamer:
Again, I don't copy you, how many times do I have to say it!?
I'll beat your ass and upload it, Hell, I'll even create a play list
Killing  you quick with wits, 
I don't need my fists, 
Whenever your name is said it just gets me pissed,
 you wanna battle with this? 
Just try and blits, 
I'll show this nerd some serious shit
I spit an aurora of hate bitch! I'll verbally rip off your balls,
Fuck your show man, once I'm famous I'll never give you any calls
So just shut the fuck up you twit, you will never beat me 
Your shitty rhymes were more repetitive than Ninja Turtles Three. 
Angry Video Game Nerd:
Here we go, it's time to take you back to the past,
to play the shitty games, like you, they probably suck ass
Your whole series should have ended before it even was thought of,
I'll shove my fist down your throat with my Nintendo Power glove,
Rolling rock your pets brains out, make you regret, and pout!
Hell if you even had a girlfriend, I would give her a shout
How can anyone give credit to a dude who steals original ideas
I would rather get shit on by a buffalo drenched in diarrhea.

Nostalgia Critic:
Prepare to get crushed by Channel Awesome
You're nothing but a Demo Reel, so proceed with caution
That Guy With The Glasses is here to kick both your asses
Shoot you piss holes with my pistol, abomination of assness
Here's a top eleven of why you suck with aplomb
Number one: you two SERIOUSLY overdrop the f-bomb
You've Doug your own grave, and now I Walker all over you
I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Angry Video Game Nerd vs The Irate Gamer. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 17

Battle of the pokemon trainers!

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
ASH KETCHUM
VS
GARY OAK
BEGIN:

Gary:
I'm the true Pokemon master, all you do is play with balls 
Just take a seat, Ash, I'll teach you how to catch them all.
I'm a prodigy in Pallet Town, you're just in Special Ed
And it takes more than a generation to see Misty in your bed
I'mma cap your ass like a Ratatat, flame on like a Vulpix
I'll send out Hitmonlee to give your ass a million kicks
What's the matter Ashy-boy? You want healing from Nurse Joy
Ass Ketchup, mess with my Pokémon, you're sure to get destroyed
I'll serve you a handheld defeat that will fit in your pocket
Don't let your ego blast off even more than Team Rocket
My pops is a professor, so I've got all the knowledge I need
I'll be rising up while you're smoking Bulbasaur weed
Ash:
I'm the very best, I'm banging on my chest
Like a Ferrow going Apeshit, it's time for the real test
I'm Majestic Like Ho-oh, I spit it hot and gold
I'm like a Blastoise, because I have a lyrical water flow
I'mma beat you hard, you won't be using a healing berry
I mean you're as much homosexual as a dancing Clefairy.
You're forgetting that the entire anime revolves around me
Soon as we went to Sinnoh, that's the last you were ever seen 
Gary:
Stop being so gloom, you're acting like a Slowbro
You're a rip off of Yugi, Hell, maybe even more homo
My disses just evolved, teach you to mess with my crew,
And you wonder who the real master is? I DON'T choose you?
You're indentified as a wannabe champion in my Pokédex,
You've been surrounded by girls, yet you still have no sex
Now listen here Ash, time for the ultimate burn
Magikarp is the name that you deserve to earn
Ash:
I'm kicking it Old School, black and white to red and blue
I got an army of leaders, come fight me and my crew
Trap you with my rhymes like a Master Ball; feel the hate?
That's cause you're too busy substituting 'ball' with 'bate'
Don't be hating on my love life, here, I'll make yours just darken
I bet when you whipped out your Metapod, it didn't use harden
That's the end of it; let's roll the credits theme song
Gotta catch em all, gotta kick your ass,  POKEMON!
WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Ash Ketchum vs Gary Oak. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 18

Two badass World War II vets, Nikolai Belinski, zombie slayer from Call of Duty and Ryan from famous movie Saving Private Ryan.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
NIKOLAI 
VERSUS
PRIVATE RYAN
BEGIN

Nikolai:
I'm drinking vodka tonight, after I knifed you to pieces
I'm shooting zombies, you're shooting prayers, jesus..
You're not a soldier, James, you fucked up for your whole team
I'm a Russian, you're a private with too much self asteem!
I will John H. Mill you into pieces, demon spawn.
Trust me, you'll be dead before the break of dawn.
You guys won the war, well I don't give a crap.
No vodka for you, but I give you free bitch slap.

Ryan:
Calm your russian ass down, I ain't a zombie, you know
I'm private Ryan, Belinski, and I'm here to steal the show.
You're a stupid alcoholic, so you better run and hustle
At least I have friends to get saved by, you've been chosen for your muscles.
I killed more Jerries in one day, than you've killed zombies in a year
When the zombie dogs come 'round, your black heart gets filled with fear.
I'm not an ordinary private, nick, all your money got stolen.
You're a Russian prick, with a small dick, gettin' down with Richtofen!

Nikolai:
Tell me, does it hurt when I punch you in the belly button?
Just like my first wife, I shall kill you with my shotgun.
This is what I call goulash, all the blood and gore.
You look scared Francis, never seen a real man before?
You were married to one woman? Pfff I've had nine.
Normally I'd drink vodka, but not this time!
You would taste so much worse than a quick revive
Just like any private, you'll never make it out alive.

Ryan:
Hear that Nikolai, the beat's slowing down.
Cuz I don't need no sound to kick your ass outta town!
Man, you're so cool, killing all your wives...
I was a hero, who got unlucky while saving millions of lives.
We'll set you up, like we did to the half-track of the germans
I can bet my family, all your wives looked like  cindy sherman
You just lost this battle, like you lost every game
I'll give you such a hard beating, you'll never forget my name.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Private Ryan vs Nikolai Belinski. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 19.

For being patient with the 19th battle, here is #20 :)

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY
VERSUS
COLE PHELPS
BEGIN!

Cole Phelps:
They call me the Dark Shadow, but I am still very bright,
but you, not so much, challenging me to another fight.
Quit pointing your thumb at me! Stick it up your own ass.
You comic book biobastard! This case will be over fast
You are just a puppet to Vault-Tec, Bobbling your head to what they say
I'll once again shoot you up, make the Bloody Mess spray
My disses are so cold, yet they'll leave you in flames,
My win is more certain than you having a sucky game!
I’ll hack you, and then I’llI decode all of your codes.
You're just a waste (land) of space, so just go walk the Lonesome Road,
I don't want to hear a pip from you, boy, so no tricks
Don't make me send your adolescent ass back to the "House of Sticks"!
My disses are cold, they hit you harder than a nuke,
You're skilled in hand to hand combat? Then put up your dukes
I'll interrogate you, then I'll Use and Abuse,
I always catch the criminal, you've not been wrongly accused


Vault Boy:
Get ready, Here And Now, I'mma take you to class,
after that, bitch, I will pop a bottle - Cap in yo ass
You left your best friends in World War Two.
Now you are a lonely little man with nothing to do
I am a great leader, haven't you seen all my companions?
After you've had  buttsex, your ass is like the Wreckage of the Canyon
You're a Holmes wanna-be, that wastes the night and day
My flows are like radiation, so you better use some Rad Away
You'll need your Luck Skill on 100, to even cause harm to me
You're just jealous because my game was one of the best at E3
Have you solved the case? I have, you're getting ready to lose.
Vault Boy always wins, bitch, you know that's true
Not the slightest of detective work could EVER stop me!
Watch out, you biohazard bitch! I'm on a killing spree
Come on in and have a very shitty day
Welcome to New Vegas, hope you enjoy your stay

Cole Phelps:
Here's the Truth, you're the reason Fallout was a flop
I'm also Doubting the fact you can beat this badass cop
I have evidence to support this accusation, you're a lying sack of shit
You're not the greatest rapper ever, you're just a kid who thinks he can spit
Listen Vault Cunt, you're really pissing me off, lad
I can write better rhymes than you when I scribble on my notepad
I'm solving a mystery here, all of the clues come together
You’ll just continue to walk alone forever and ever.
I'm coming in fast,
You'll need a cast,
Stop treating the players like lab rats,
I'm entering the Vault and what do I see?
a yellow haired idiot, who looks about three!
I'm taking you down,
I wear the crown,
Let's take it downtown,
Gonna make you frown
When I take you down
You dumbass clown
You look like a depressed fat Charlie Brown!

I'm the cause of the apocalypse, I'm a Hardcore Rockstar,
There's no way that you can hide from me in this L.A. Noire
My investigations conclude that you're just a silly cartoon,
You've no shelter from my bombshell lines which'll come down, KABOOM.


Vault Boy:
I'll burn you like coal, Phelps, and then light your ass on fire,
how can you battle me if you can't even find out if someone's a liar?
LA stands for “Licking Ass” in your Case
You won’t beat me if you can’t even keep up a chase
You’re just a detective who can’t beat me when he lags
How about you get a very big taste of my, Doctors Bag
If you really think you’ll win, then bitch, you’ve had it
Because I am the one who has the biggest Stim-Package
Calling yourself a cop, it doesn’t hide your sins
I’m just like The House, because I Always Win
Looks like your Weapon Condition is pretty low
Just call me Vault Man from now on, Mr. Cole!
I'll be winning big in the casino, while you're solving pointless cases,
My rhymes are Platinum, I'll chip your skull, get the hell out of Vegas
My rhymes have so much flow, like the water you got killed in,
Well goodbye indeed Phelps, Vault Boy just achieved another win.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!




Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps 2. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 20.

Hope you enjoy my music I will be posting some soon.

Epic Rap Battles

AustrykerMusic