Epic Rap Battles

Written by Grasman
Funtime foxy: RaccoonBroVA 
Mettaton: Quizzique 
Mixed by Dani
Edited and animated by Grasman 


Mettaton:
Lights! Camera! Action! It’s time for my debut 
Can't believe it’s gotta be against one of Afton’s fursuits
I appreciate you tuning in, but let’s get something straight 
You gotta built in kiddie lure-er but still can’t attract a mate
Got my face on a billion screens, fan scream when I enter the stage 
While your gender got your fanbase more split than your face plates 
I was made to entertain, wishing I’ll be seen by the human race! 
But I’m having second thoughts based on Scott’s constant Furry bait..
Mettaton EX:
Oh yes! This hunk a’ junk is lackin’ glamor, darling.
I doubt even Alphis could fix this clown’s demonic stare (Oh yes)
I suppose you do a decent job at scaring 
But the real horror here is how this was aloud to be on air 

Funtime Foxy:
It’s time I deliver! A performance was demanded of me!
I heard I was fighting a singer, then who the hell is this freak?
It’s shocking, I thought I was the once with interesting design choices 
But who the hell decided where to place your self-destruct button!
Show no more your show, you’re plaguing my TV
I ain’t seen a singing robot this cheesy sense Chuck E.
I’m bringing joy and happiness to little kiddies 
You’re bringing another reason to hate reality TV
Fursuit? Really? Now that’s just a wrong diss
And least my creator doesn't look like he got jaundice 
There’s only one space on the stage, and you’re trying to rap on it?
I take away the mic, go ask Mike, and then I drop it 

Mettaton EX:
You’re just another lazy recolor, made from other robots smelted 
Guess this’ll be the third time you’ve been burnt so bad you melted
I admit, you’ve been built high tech, hell you gotta voice changer
So why not try to mimic the speech of a decent rapper!

Funtime Foxy:
I know a thing or two about kids in stripes
And i'm still in shock how you lost that fight
I don't fail to deliver, fans have demanded an Encore!
I expected heat from someone coming from the core

Funtime Foxy VS Mettaton- Bonus Battle! (Fr. RaccoonBroVA & Quizzique) [2023]

Welcome to episode 2 of TableTop Rap Battles, where these absorbers of orbs take bites out of each other!

Danii as Hungry Hungry Hippos
https://www.youtube.com/@SwaggyFlan
Fightmarker as Pac-Man
https://www.youtube.com/@fightmarker

Written by Quizzique
Mixed and Mastered by Zagranis
Beat prod. by InsaneBeatz
Art by WAN
Thumbnail by Quiz

Hungry Hungry Hippo (0:11)
If you wanna win the game, you gotta take good aim
Not roam around a maze searchin’, for some ghosts to maim
It’s a household name, with the childhood acclaim
You think you’re the same, but your console fame is down the drain

It’s a race, it’s a chase, hurry up and feed my face
The only phantom here’s your cabinets now haunting the arcades
I was entertaining kids before they made your ugly mug
While your memes only pleased Gen Z til you got swept under the Rugg

Pac-Man (0:33)
This hippo with the fattest waist wants to face it up and fight?
It’s a hunk of plastic waste against the greatest of all time
I eat a track like power pellets, better start to flee like Clyde
If you’re so damn hungry hungry then I’ll serve you by the slice

Yo, you say my game’s the ghost while you eat dust at Hasbro
Think you’re family friendly? You got kids slapping your ass, bro
You must’ve lost your marbles, like your film’s producers, they got scattered
Then a child found them, and now your whole gag’s a choking hazard

Hungry Hungry Hippo (0:56)
All those burns are useless, man, I got redeemed by ICE
I eat your flames and spit them back, your fire hydrant won’t suffice
Trapped inside a haunted maze, is eating pellets such a struggle?
When your brand feeds off of you so much, should really call it Nom-co

I’ve got a conga line, you couldn’t conjure lines to buy your shit
Franchise is half-assed, so it makes sense Midway acquired it
This nerd should know he can’t compare to the bite of a hippopotamus
Because my stomach’s like your fall from grace: Bottomless

Pac-Man (1:19)
Your redemption’s like a plastic broken jaw, there still ain’t no budgin’
Shit’s as trusty as your tournaments, they both got Rogue Judges
My fruity power-ups demolish all your Veggies
Cover genres, while your online fanbase is just like your teeth: edgy

They call me Puck Man, you’re just a Piggy Punk, man
You’re outta luck, man, I don’t give a fuck, man
Gaming mascot 1, groups of 3-4, I eat ‘em all
So you can call me Level 256, ‘cus I’m unbeatable

Hungry Hungry Hippos vs Pac-Man - TableTop Rap Battles #2 (ft. Danii and Fightmarker)

Written, Recorded, and Thumbnail by JesseBox
Beat Arrangement, Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Guitar Riffs by YuugenVinny

Special Thanks to Freshy Kanal, Yuugen Vinny, Snakebite126, Shimario, My Parents and The Bikini Bottom❤️


Jinx:
Aw a fellow blue haired bitch thinkin’ she wants some
Your “nakama” and “kumbaya” shit don’t work where I come from
Keep your fairy tails away from me, I’m not afraid to fucking rip your face off, I’m droppin bombs on top this creepy stalker

Like Pow! I’ve got an arsenal with weapons galore
Been on the roster for a decade and still the players want more!
Your tacky fanservice is almost cute, but terrible still
I liked you better as a rock girl, or when you had guts to kill 

I mean, c’mon, chick, you could’ve been so badass!
Instead your writers picked one gag and then played that trash for laughs
And I mean, no one even knows your dumb kid’s series anymore
Potential and relevance down the drain, need I say more?

Juvia: 
I’ll have you know that I am doing just fine
Cause I know how to aid my friends when their lives are on the line
You’re a reckless child, meddling while the task was being handled
Had you just been mature, Vi could’ve still had Vander

I’m an Ex Element four, was S class in Phantom Lord
I’ve the scars to prove my passion and agony I’ve endured
And my guild believed in me to change for good when I was wrong
Your family never had that trust, and thanks to you, they’re all gone

All your punches do is phase through me due to my water power
And I will not be shaken, I’m cool like rain that will shower
Except in Jinxes’ case, all it takes is words to confound her
Crush her like Mylo and Claggor and turn her back into Powder

Jinx:
*groans* That isn’t me, don’t call me that
I can feel all their pain, the monsters are coming back
I can’t take it any longer, your attacks, they’re much stronger
And I- *pfft*… haha.. HAHHAHAHAh

You can’t meet the damage I’ve done
You peaked during your season one
And what you call love is just an obsession that you manifested, and it’s fuckin’ scaring him off

He’s annoyed by you
And girl, the viewers feel the same too
Only Mashima’s shitty writing could’ve given you
A world where Gray even tolerates you!

Juvia:
What did you say?
About my Gray?
I’ll make you pray that you stayed in your lane or met an early grave like where your parents lay!
Don’t play with this rainwoman
I’m not afraid of a thieving rat with nothing to her name

Who do you think you are? You’re not the savior of Zaun
Cause all it takes is pink hair to take this failure off guard!
This poor pathetic schizophrenic should just quit while ahead
Thought she found her calling, then her THIRD father ended up dead

And by your hands no less. 
Just loss after loss and this one was bound to be next
Keep causing problems and problems are all that you’ll get
Past the point of help
I’d say that you were cursed but Vi said it better herself

Jinx vs. Juvia Lockser - Jesse’s Rap Battles

ANIME RAP BATTLE

Lady Oscar: EileMonty

Utena Tenjou: KingSpirals

Mixed by: Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Beat by: Audio Network

Written by: Metal and Dusk

Lady Oscar (00:12):
Mon Dieu, this school girl amateur is my challenger.
When it’s clear Madam Juri is more of my caliber!
Unlike you in duels a Jarjayes knows chivalry 
Don’t need to be possessed to win a match properly!
Met your prince and it was the End of the World
Should’ve grown out of Fairy Tales you silly little girl!
At your age I was the model of a top Commander
With Anthys abuse, you’re just a mere bystander
I couldn’t care less about your Council affairs 
Or about how your greatest foe is a flight of stairs!
Now I got no shame in attacking your concepts
Ikuhara looked at me and added artsy nonsense!
Ditched the Courts to etch my name in history
To your talebearing school, you’re just another mystery!
Crawl back in your coffin before you try to flow
Which of us is really Revolutionary Miss Tenjou?!  

Utena (00:57): 
Wow that verse flopped, did Jacques ghostwrite?
Well I shouldn’t expect much from Maries white knight!
Don’t dare talk of Revolution like you set the bar
Had more drive than you when I was a literal car!
Crafted my destiny without wealth and privilege
Disappointed dad so much he made you in his image!
The snooty balls you attend bore me to tears
While I’m straight up ballin 'and dunking on my peers!
Gave my oppressors their deserved karma 
You splatter sparkles and call that trash drama!
Thought Wakaba had bad taste but then I see
You going full bootlicker for a tyrannical Swede 
Claim to be immortal in history, but in reality
To Robespierre you’re just another casualty
In spite of your protests and insistent pride
Only a blind man would make you their Rose Bride!

Lady Oscar (1:42):
Andre is my beloved through and through
Though Touga chose drowning over loving you!
That Academy of yours shouldn’t be boasted
Cause you’ll be its 101st Duelist to be roasted!

Utena (01:53):
Woah your Nanami impression has been pretty killer
This pompous cow has spat nothing but filler!
A Royal Guard Commander shouldn’t be this reckless
I fuck over French nobles like a Diamond Necklace!

Lady Oscar:
I’m not surprised this brat resorts to vulgarity
Such a brute compared to my lovely Rosalie!

Utena (2:04):
Oh it’s ironic how you think to mention her
When you didn’t have the gall to save her sister!

Lady Oscar:
By God, I shall reunite you with your parents!

Utena:
And I’ll reunite you with those angered peasants!

Lady Oscar:
Au Revoir, I end battles with a clean decapitation!

Utena:
I’ve cut down this Rose! Like Toei Animation

Oscar vs Utena - ANIME RAP BATTLES #9

Original battle by garbageGothic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no09-lzwVEA&t=27s

Rayyan with a bad laptop mic as Sebastian
Emily as literally everyone else

GDT Pinocchio: 
Oh boy, I love rap battles! Don’t know what they are yet though

Sebastian:
Well battle’s when you fight, and rap is clever rhyme and flow

GDT Pinocchio:
A witty war of words?! I love it! Penny, now it’s time to… die?
Leave you torn apart like Pyrrha did when I’m up on the mic (Oh!)
I’m flaming it! Like a crucifix! While you got flamed by Cinder’s hit!
A shame you were forced to be a real girl to make writing easy, and then you got fridged
But you’re used to the cold, being with Schnees, stuck in your role as a war robot
So let’s heat it up! My sick rhymes’ll send viruses like a hack by Watts

Penny Polendina: 
(Laughs) Salutations! It’s truly a pleasure to meet you!
I've never seen a boy before with so much mid to spew
Your homeland will be burdened when this battle ends in tragedy
Unlike you and Candlewick, I’m combat ready!
You’re flammable, watch for the sparks that I’m spitting

I’m never dull, sharp as my Floating Array
Be careful, I’ll sever the strings on this kid and
The borrowed soul he signed away for the pay!
Stop trucks with my hands but one sent you to Death
By the end of this battle, you’ll see her again- (hiccup)
Yeah, I don’t mean it, let’s just be friends!!
Say ‘ciao’ at verse 2, see who won and who’s next!

GDT Pinocchio:
Wow! That was a wonderful verse, but I’m sure that I can top it!
Your disses froze like Cold Steel, mine are hotter than hot chocolate! 
So listen up-! (gets shot) 

Pauly Shore Pinocchio:
Guess who’s here to slay the clones? It’s Italy’s fruitiest wood, the true Pinocchio!
Let me di-ski-di-ski-di onto the beat, end this PvPvP knockin’ out screws

This meme from MTV’s here to redeem my infamy with a new debut!
First up: dumb husk with a shot in his stump, his stop-motion can’t outrun my guuun!
Try to look grown-up, so you bring in Jesus and Nazis?! What-

GDT Pinocchio:
Huh?

(another gunshot)

Penny Polendina: 
Excuse me, sir-

Pauly Shore Pinocchio:
Does this magic tin can wanna talk?
Got a newsflash for you Bu-ddy, your story’s even worse! Shipping isn’t a plot!
Rusty Nuts and Dolts can’t hold a candle to my canon
Got a better Bella-donna than your civil rights stand-in! 
Leave an Ironwood Maiden-less in this rap 
When I kick your ass into next Spring Break! (Woo!)
Thinkin’ you can fuck with the pine? Pauly’s made of high-quality rhymes!
Your series is like you: it died, but everything comes in due time!
Forced Jaune to kill you after two lines of fire? Bitch please!
I burned and got real! I’ll melt you down to size for RWBY Chibi!

Penny Polendina & GDT Pinocchio:
What’s this knockoff trying to do? He lost all reputation
The second his mouth opened and became a faux sensation
Your jokes are stale, now Tybalt’s the only fame that you can ride
But we’ll stay strong with the power of God and anime on our side!

[RAYYAN MIX] Penny Polendina vs Pinocchio (Guillermo del Toro) - GG Rap Battles

In this series debut, Batman villian Hush goes up against Oregon urban legend The Bandage Man in a battle of the bandage-wearing murderers. Which one will leave with the most bruises?

Spadical as Hush
ForgottenSon as The Bandage Man

Hush:
I say only strike when your foes weakness show
This battle would’ve been easy, but I didn’t bring soap (aargh)
You’re lost of your life, cemented to horrendous smell and bandaged scars 
You want a ride? Hop on the back of my parents car (aargh)
I owned Wayne’s entire town, while you only had a road 
I tortured a fucking clown, so I think I can crack a joke 
Enjoyed logging alone, but it came to a sudden stop 
Had so little friends, even the saw mill had to cut him off 

The Bandage Man:
You’re a weak and decrepit man, why can’t you accept the fact
You wanted your parents dead, couldn’t even perfect that 
They almost made it to the grave, but one was saved by one Thomas Wayne
You wanted Bruce’s praise, but now you’re waning in his father’s name 
Even you don’t know who you are, despite that I remain nameless
When I stalk they see me clearly, you hide behind people’s faces 
Riddled with plastic surgery , think it’ll eclipse your damages 
But your fathers abuse? Now that cannot be fixed with bandages

Hush: 
In Oregon, you like drinks, let’s crack open a cold case
Greet you with a couple shots, how’s that for some first aid
With locals pirating your image, do you really think you’re scaring me?
Mythos blew out proportion, no wonder they call it Cannon Beach
I don’t know who I am? I’m renowned for my one story
While your local town fucked around, came up with three origins
I’ll maim this mummy and make sure he has a bad time
With both this battle and your life, you were killed by a fucking landslide

The Bandage Man: 
When the clown attacked, you became the prey of the birds 
And you turned to the Joker’s jester in every sense of the word
You went back to your old friend, only for him to flush you out
Ironic, you want things to go your way you should just shut your mouth
Your memory is broken, you won’t kill me, know the truth
You’ll dent me with holes? Dent sure put holes into you 
And with your story ruined, Tom traded just to riddle us
No surprise, when your film’s reception faded to a- 

Written by Awesome Ayden and Everon
Produced by ESKRY
Mixed by Jordy
Cover Art by Everon

This battle was written, demoed, recorded, mixed and (privately) uploaded in 75 hours.

Hush vs. The Bandage Man - DC vs. Anything (Issue #1)

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ-lWPY9D18

Scott:
Hey all Scott here! And before you try to ban me
See I'm contractually obligated to one more battle with Bandy
But something I have trouble understanding is his experience with rapping
Cause he's done youtube long before me…what the f*ck happened
Your buddy lives with boulders, and you? Under a rock…
I didn’t take you as the type to be entertaining, oh you’re not
I mean you were an OG creator something like we hadn't seen before
But all of your old vids seemed to age as well as the Nintendo 64

Nathaniel:
Did Nintendo not realize that battle mode should be balanced
But I’ve already conquered Mario, so Kamek shouldn’t be a challenge
Cause you were Borderline copying my content, cutting out any flavor

Bathaniel:
But think you can rock? 

Nathaniel:
You’re just a blank piece of paper 
From your stupid looking hair to videos, you’ve always sucked at trimming!
Like I don’t want to sit down and watch this loser’s constant bitching
It’s not awesome baby seeing you fail to make your skits slicker
Cause you’d only leave my Mind Blown if I pulled the fricking Trigger!

Scott:
Welcome to the show, tell me, what does this guy not have?

Terry Lesler:
*gunshot* Beef? 

Jerry Attricks:
*gunshot* Therapist! 

Target Employee:
*gunshot* Job at Target? 

Rex Mohs:
*gunshot* A dad!

Jeb Jab:
*gunshot* Guys, let's be real, the answer’s so obviously Gex!

Scott:
Ooo so close! See, the answer is actually “a f**king job”
I mean sure we've collabed a few times but I hardly call us rivals
So yeah I enjoy your content… I also wrote the Bible
A guy with no personality, making top 10 lists and ranking vids
And you’re striving for originality?

Nathaniel:
Can’t talk originality when you’ve ripped Jon and The Nerd

Jerry Attricks:
Hey, you should check them out, they're pretty good from what I've heard

Nathaniel:
You wasted 2 hours of my time just to talk about your childhood junk?!
Not even in Maple Treeway was I jacking myself off this much
Thinking this Chicken could Shoot anything hurtful is abhorrent
Cause he’s as fragile as a Pop-Tart that I’d slam against my forehead
How will Nathaniel win? Pretty easily cuz you can’t handle me!
Brand new vid Top 10 times Scott lost to Nathaniel B

Credits:
Cri as Scott The Woz
Dan as Nathaniel Bandy

Cri as Jerry Attricks, Target Employee, and Terry Lesler
Dan as Bathaniel Nandy, Rex Mohs, and Jeb Jab

Written by Taiga and Powerofdan
Demo’d by Taiga
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat rearranged by Powerofdan
Special Thanks: Harry

Scott The Woz vs Nathaniel Bandy (Powerofdan Rap Battles)

original battle: https://soundcloud.com/user-953382854/cheshire-cat-vs-schrodingers

this battle singlehandedly convinced me that rosenthal is a goat and made me wanna collaborate with them, so this is a way for me to return the favor 

mix and cover art by me
beat by libra
everything else by rosenthalfishes

Cheshire Cat (0:14):

I am the Cheshire Cat, welcome to my Wonderland,
You want to battle rap? You must be hatter mad,
'Cause that plan is total cap no matter how you catch these hands.
Chess to your boxing match, tell me what comes after that?

Ah right. Your entire life fades. I think your mind ain’t the right place
Debating ‘bout a quantum space. Complacently my playground is the mental state!
Shove your stupid theories back in your box, you only prove your worth with words and talk!
Here’s an observation I made when I looked at you, your win is totally gone!

Schrodinger's Cat (0:40)

Cheshire, you best not mess with an experimental tester
Whether or not you enter my box, you will find you are lesser
Hypothesis of my pseudo-science, you shouldn’t be smiling when you eye my findings
Terrorising a tiny child like your writer then hiding in the lines like you’re pedo-filing, uh!

While my question's quite complex, you’ve literally lost your head. In my thoughts, I’ll
Opt to forget this bothersome pet but I know it’s not possible yet, it’s a toss up
Whether or not the probable end of following disses bodying disembodied
Heads get a fraudulent death, this has brought me ahead! Now, your defence?

Cheshire Cat (1:07)

What? What?
It seems like the real mystery’s whatever the fuck you discuss, ‘cause it must be
Like one big crusty bunch of duds who get stumped by an Amazon package.
Your argument’s like a rabbit, they follow it and your world collapses.

Schrodinger’s Cat (1:21)

You’re not smart enough to understand, you only ponder when it’s part of your Wonderland,
I couldn’t tell if you were intelligent when I looked at ya, y’know, like you’re Looking Glass?
‘Cause when you’re fighting the feline who’s neither alive or reaped, at the sight of me
You’ll fold when I deck ya with speed like the Queen of Hearts, that’s Binocular Rivalry.

Cheshire Cat (1:35)

My words chain like a catenary, cat’s are nary prone to form brawls with adversaries,
But for you? (Yes, you) The situation’s scary. (Yeah!) This foe spits rather hairy! (Uh!)
On the contrary, when you’re comparing us? I choose when I’m not lingering,
You’re a little Sphynx giving a silly riddle. (Who?) Schro’s more Schro-bingus!

Either way, you’ll still be Flopping! They put your ass up for adoption!
Frankly, your mechanic’s more quan-dumb, went from paradox to oxy-moron!
When you start talking, it’ll cause the alarm to detect my diss so toxic,
You’re gonna fail and pass away ‘cause like your later portrayals, you did na-zi your loss, bitch!

Schrodinger’s Cat (2:01)

It’s true that I’m locked in, caught in a awful coffin,
But when I drop bombs in my box, the volume’s up. Call that shit sub-atomic.
‘Cause the chance you beating me ain’t fifty-fifty, the time’s dry.
When it comes down to people I talk to, this kid’s more Liddel Einstein!

I’m the classiest cat in this rap, you’re a sad has-been with a knack for distracting
Madness, you only ever spit Radioactive like my flask does when I Imagine Draggin’
Your flat ass back to the pasture - your past home - pass by your passport, now in the Lowlands,
I’ve seen Manyworlds, but the skill between us is plain to observe - like a Cheshire Gap.

[RAYYAN MIX] Cheshire Cat vs. Shrodinger's Cat  - Rap Battles of Whatever

Dani Frias as Happy Appy and the Good Doctor
JustGamer as Dr. Kawashima, Dr. Evil, Dr. Strange, Dr. Han
Written by JustGamer
Additional Help by Danii
Beat by Anywaywell, Syko, Epistra, Dansonn
Mixed by Danii
Cover art by Rabi

Dr. Kawashima:
Hello I’m Dr. Kawashima, neuroscientist
When my mind is sharp, and on time, there is no out-rhyming this
It’s undebated, I stay Brain Ageless
You were flavor of the month, but this apple’s tasteless
Your creator expanded on the story in hopes that it would stay
I couldn’t finish a micro game before you lost all your fame
With that, I hope to see you back tomorrow to play again
Cause with the two of us, I ate you up, that makes a perfect ten

Happy Appy:
Howdy children! Happy Appy’s back to spit some more!
Today’s opponent looks like MODOK on N64!
And I’m not talking planes when I say that I’m the flyest
When all you helped with was to justify the existence of a stylus!
A game based on a book? How’d you ever get attention?
Even I’m not as insistent with teaching kids lessons
You’re slowly being replaced with other brain teaser games
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Evil:
It’s time for Dr. Evil to become be the best rapper
I’m eating this track up like I was Fat Bastard
I have rap laser lines, best of luck bozo
And if you win I’ll go back in time and steal your mojo
Spitting image of evil spitting in this dope ass outfit
A stick up your butt is what you walk around in?
And the way you scare children, you must be clownin’
Why go for nine eleven when you can have a thousand?!

Happy Appy:
Ooo seems this spitter’s come up short like a Mini Me
Ooo no villain from your squad could help you kill the beat
It’s in your name but you’ll be surprised to find you’re
Third place in the ranks of Evil Mike Myers
Tearin' this parody 'cause he can't outflow
Should be aware as a funny spoof film? How 'bout no?
And with two decades later, your movies’ fame fully fades
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Strange:
Stephen Strange enters the battle, I’ve come to bargain
Got the Eye of Aga-dope flow to make my bars hit!
Even Wong wouldn’t…….oh no……

Dr. Han:
Dr. Murphy please let’s continue this conversation at a later point if we can
There’s some sort of cross mix between Annoying Orange and an apple, let’s get him on a medication plan
There he goes, he’s a good doctor though he can be a strongly erratic man
But at least he’s great at saving the kids that you tried to kill inside of your van

Seriously, targeting children? That shit’s truly sick
Are Roblox threads how you find those kids? 
I work at a hospital, I’ve seen plenty of gore
But that horror makes me wanna shake you at the core
Better keep my mask on when I’m spitting with flow
Make a bigger splash than you with only four episodes
Syringes don’t scare me, nor will they hurt me
Leave this apple roasted when I’m fired up like Murphy

Happy Appy:
Wanna talk about firings, well how about yours?
Don’t let that bad writing hit you on your way out the door
And your show knows it’s pretty easy to make you the villain
But you’ll end up LIKE MIRANDA, WHEN I GET TO KILLING
I ENTER THE HOSPITAL LIKE A PLAGUE UPON THE LAND
WITH BLOOD THAT ISN’T MINE SPLATTERED ALL ACROSS MY HANDS
DR. HAN DIES NASTY, WHEN I BRANDISH A BLADE
CAUSE AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THIS DOCTOR AWA-

Dr. Han:
That’s enough out of you, you think those scary words and that creepypasta could make me give a fuck?  
Well you might as well call me Nick Jr Appy, cause I’m about to go ahead and pull the plug
No need for Forenziks, I’m able to find that it was boredom that killed all of your thrills
You want something that will really terrify people? Wait until I send you the bill

Dr Kawashima vs Happy Appy - Smash Bros vs Anything

Nighteye : RaccoonBroVA
King Kai : MetaMachine

Written by Kamren.
Beat Prod. : MTC Beatz
Mixed by Kamren

Nighteye :
Mirio, if you're trying to amuse me, forget it 
'Cuz I refuse to laugh from Roshi's sloppy seconds
You're slow as a turtle when getting to the punchline
I'll blitz through like Piccolo, you're wasting my time
My students smile for a brighter future
For generations to come at the cost of my life 
Yours doesn't know a thing about humor
'Cept he went home to his wife while you wait for the revive
I'll predict all the shit you'll say and switch it around
Can't say if I got jumped when the Ginyus Forced in your house
You won't get my stamp of approval 
So come take the pen from me and tell me how you've been crucial

King Kai :
That verse was a joke? You're gonna have to be more clever
Not one single chuckle, even Yamcha's done better 
And I don't mean the monkey when you're playing Bubbles dirty
But you're gonna get chased with that machine so... quirky
Now that's how to do a pun!
Though my antennas couldn't find for me to give a puck
Dude you’re a lousy schmuck, and what's worse, bud?
Got that foresight for luck, and still got a hole in your gut

Nighteye :
Don't you dare mock me for the sacrifice I made
Goku flocked to escape when got played by Cell's game
Makes sense why you're blue faced, choked when you catch fades
A God of Destruction the way you're scared, I'm wide awake!
Midoriya can't press me, what made you think you could?
Didn't need a spirit bomb, one verse was all it took
To send the North Kai south, and with that you're out
Not just a trash talking half pint, you're that and a clown

King Kai :
Don't even have the weights on but I'm dragging you downright 
Might as well call up.. oh wait! Sorry, the clock's hands' tied
You couldn’t walk a mile in my shoes, let alone Snake Way
A second rate Aizawa that Horikoshi left erased!
The future's set in stone? Let's take a look at your third year
All that kid end up doing was showing off his rear
He lost his quirk.. then got it back? Ironically tragic
Your final moment blew up in your face worse than Planet Namek
Have Eri rewind this battle cuz I'm twisting your film reel
Since you're more full of yourself than Goku eating a meal
But hey, thanks for the fun! I'm sure we'll meet again
When you arrive on my planet with a halo above your head


Sir Nighteye vs King Kai - My Hero Academia vs Anything! #11 (ft. RaccoonBroVA and MetaMachine)

Hello, this is our first rap battle. It features Fallout icon Vault Boy versing the main character from L.A. Noire, Cole Phelps! Expect more of these to come soon (Every other Sunday)

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
VAULT BOY!
VS!
COLE PHELPS!
BEGIN!

Cole Phelps:
Hey Vault Boy, I'm gonna kick your ass
I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass.
Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout
I will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout
You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face
You're such a little bitch, no wonder daddy ran away.
My name is Cole Phelps, hoe, I'm from L.A. Noire
You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are.
You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window
to unlock the door, but instead you use a lockpick and a cord.
Ouch, hear that burn? Ain't that a kick in the head?
No holes in the bowl, eat irradiated bread!
You let those stupid casino guys take your guns?
They probably heard about what you did to Megaton.
You're a villified vilian, I'mma take you in.
Have you freakin' question by my partner Herschel Biggs.

Vault Boy:

My name is Vault Boy and I am a Swift Learner.
Your games are a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar.
That game L.A. Noire is a Bloody Mess
I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying prescence.
I am called Lord Death, I'm a real lady killer
Maybe some intense training will help you swim through the sewers.
I'm a rad child, you're just a stupid piece of shit.
I solve cases on terminals cuz I'm a Computer Whiz.
All my companions make everything easy.
And guess what, none of them hate me.
I gotta strong back, I carry all of my junk
It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk.
Nuka Cola, Sarsapirilla, drinking Victory.
Between you and me, you're always crashing in a tree.
I will smack you in the face with my paralyzing palm
Stop screaming at the suspects and please remain calm.

Cole Phelps:
Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt or Lie?
You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise.
Doing what I do makes me *chi ching*
I know where things are when I hear *ding ding*

Vault Boy:
Oh please, you got washed out your ass
My currency is decent cause I have some bottle caps, BITCH.
I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earl a deal.
You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, well guess what, I did, now go squeal.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!!!


Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 1.

Two composers go at it in a rap battle. Wolfgang Amadaues Mozart and Skrillex.
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
MOZART
VS
SKRILLEX
BEGIN

Mozart:
Mr. Skrillex
Sonny John Moore
What else can I say?
Your music is a bore.
Artist of the year?
More like the yearly queer
You're not a musician.
You're a student that can't afford his tuition
What are those noises?
Robot sex?
That's unbelievable.
Wow, Skrillex.
My ass makes better music
So go ahead and chew it
Maybe learn something from it
If not, then go suck it.

I'm the king of composing, BITCH, Can't you hear?
I will Bangarang your Ellie on the First of the Year
You're a Gypsyhooker, you like it in the ear
Cut some of that damn hair off, use it for a beard!


Skrillex:
*evil laugh*
You think your a better composer?
More like a Beethoven poser
Better get off your lazy ass
and stop making music with a toaster!
My name is Skrillex.
Don't forget.
You bitch,

You're just an animal that can't make music worth shit
Take that ink pen and feather and shove them in your dick.

Because you can't compose
Or get any hoes.
I got plenty of cash to give
So suck my big load.

You think your little instruments can take me for a stand?
I will break into your home, smash and kidnap Constanze.
Oh, I'm sorry, by policy, I can't get with a man.
Millions are at my concerts, have fun with only one fan

Mozart:
Any guy named Skrillex.......probably sucks dick
My burns cause "Fire and Ice"....so go and Lick it.
You sit on your lazy ass and make music with a blender.
Your hairstyle's kinda stupid...it goes to what gender?

Skrillex:
With a Wub Wub here and a Wub Wub there.
My Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites, will chase you outta my lair
You think a 18th century faggot could take on the 
*ECHO* "All mighty Skrillex!!!!*
I'll sit with all my money in the studio, have fun playing with stones and sticks

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

E-E-E-EEPPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!


Mozart vs Skrillex. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 2.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
JOHN MARSTON!
VS
NIKO BELLIC!
BEGIN!

Niko:
I am the baddest of the bad in the Liberty City
You're a drunken cowboy, whose cousin doesn't like titties.
I can ride my motorcycles and my mega sports car
Massacring hospitals, you can only shoot up bars.
When you get home, your wife smacks you in the face
I can get a million girlfriends with my online dates.
*ring ring ring*
Hello?

Roman:
 Cousin, let's go bowling!!!!!

Niko:
For the last time, I don't want to go bowling!!

John:
Go back to Europe, you foreign prick
Or I will mess up your life, like I did Van Der Line's
I will stomp you with my boots, like I did with a cockroach
Go back in your little taxis, I'll relax on the stagecoach.
The Tw@ cafe, is the only twat you'll ever get
So here's one dollar, go ahead in...
You can't drive a car, or even a bicycle
Let alone four horses on a wagon, doing a pull.


Niko:
Cluckin Bell, Burger Shot, why don't you have both?
When the church bell rang, you got shot, what a joke
For god sakes you can't swim, what the hell man?
Your son Jack's a little pussy, can't even skin a damn elk.
Nobody likes you, you got betrayed.
Don't open the barn door, you'll get sprayed

John:
Stand over there, let's have a duel
You can't handle a gun bro, go back to school.
And your Roman Bellic? He is a damn retard.
24/7 he's always in the titty bar.
Doesn't matter though, I won this battle
Continue being poor, I'll ride my Saddler.

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EEEEPIIIICCCCCCC RAAAAP BATTLE PARODIES!!!!

John Marston vs Niko Bellic. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 3.

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

PUFF-PUFF 
VS
STEVE SMITH

BEGIN!

Puff-Puff:
Hello, little bitch, Steve Smith, I'mma show you who can
be the better red jacket, glasses wearer, you little faggot.
You alien-smugger, I will make you drink your Orphan Tears
After I kill your mom and dad from getting White Boy Wasted, queer.
Good morning U.S.A.? Bitch, I live on Jupiter.
Grandma got a facebook, poking you, it makes  you look stupider.
I Fight to Win, bitch, I'm Stalking Your Mom
You are extremely poor, bro, write a Bartender Song.

Steve Smith:
I'll show you the better red jacket with my Hogwart's spells.
I'll take your Tig Ol' Bitties, make your life a living Hell.
You're not my Favorite Martian, you're like a Kelly Clarkson.
You got what I need? Bitch, My Balls are the stars man.
Runaway planet? Yes, it ran from your stupid ass.
I'll Boom Headshot on your Grandma's face, it will be a blast.
Don't get your fans excited for an album, you stupid prick
You tried to go all Hollywood, and look how it ended.

Puff-Puff:
You searched for 8 years for a girl to bone
You can't get none, bro, you're left in the Friend Zone.
Your mom looks like sex. She'll always Text Me Back.
But the Bitch got a penis, and she's also Dookie Fresh.

Steve Smith:
Puff-Puff Humbert, I love the way you lie
My raps will TAKE OVER THE WORLD, so go ahead and die.
Nobody likes your shit, you lasted forty three songs
Sorry Puff-puff...your band, it didn't last long.


WHO WON 

WHO'S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Puff Puff vs Steve Smith. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 4.

Special Guest appearance by WoodenHornets!

Lyrics: EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

HARRY STYLES

VS

PAUL MCCARTNEY!!!!!!!!


BEGIN!

Harry:
Let's all walk one direction, To break this dude's complexion
I bet you when you see us , you get a massive erection.
The Beatles are old news. I'll stomp you with my Old Brown shoes.
So get your asses back in your Yellow Submarine cruise.
I killed John Lennon with my beautiful voice
Your audience is just a bunch of thirteen year teenage boys
 We will never go in your direction, so get off our route,
 we will rock and roll all your wives brains out!

Paul:
Where do five gay guys walk? One Direction
When your fangirls see me, they all get erections.
You sound like a 12 year old boy trying to figure out autotune
Even Taylor Swift tells me I have more British meat than you
No need to hide the fact you are gay, just Let It Be,
Nothing makes you beautiful you "swaggy" prepubescent baby!
Crawl your ass back to the X Factor and admit your defeat.
Here, let's rock at my concert instead, take a seat.

Harry:
Who the hell are Ringo Starr and George Harrison?
You and those bitches against 1D? No comparison
Screw off, old gieser! Your time is done.
 Quit making music and let us "Live while we're young"


Paul:
Your whole band is a joke, just a rehash Harry,
everybody knows you were influenced by me!
Yeah, Live while you're young, start screaming YOLO
But nothing will stop you guys from being extremely homo.

WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE.

Paul McCartney vs Harry Styles - Epic Rap Battle Parodies 5

Legend of Zelda shopkeeper and mask salesman, The Happy Mask Salesman, rap battle against Resident Evil 4 shopkeeper The Merchant, to see who the creepier salesman is.

LYRICS:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
THE MERCHANT
VS
THE HAPPY MASK SALESMAN

BEGIN!

Happy Mask Salesman:
Oh hi, 72 hours remain, before I kick your ass to shame
I'm telling you, you're gonna shit yourself when you see me in-game.
Alrighty stranger, we ain't gonna buy your herbs.
Let that clock tick down, then the moon will kick you off my turf
You shouldnt've done that? I made Ben drown
Remove that dumb bandana so I can laugh at that frown
You sound like a 50 year old guy who smoked a lot
Explain to me how you feel when Leon walks past your shop.

Merchant: *laugh*
Hello stranger, you got your facts flipped.
Tell me why your pedophilic ass has to scare those little kids
Don't look at me with that stupid ass grin you creepy damn clown
The reason I wear this bandana is so that I don't see your ass in Clock Town
I sell all of my shit, you're just a loan shark
At least when I wanna sell something, stranger, the price is a decent mark
Me kick your ass? Ahh I'll buy it at a high price!

The moon doesn't wanna see your ass, so he crushed your town with all his might.

Happy Mask Salesman:
I once heard this story of the Merchant who cried Bankrupt
Did umbrella get to you or did you think you actually won?
I'll light the blue torches, sell everything in your shop
Sorry Merchant, you lose, just...please.....stop.

Merchant:
Got a lot a good things on sale, stranger, your victory isn't one.
What are ya buyin? Sike, I would never let you be a customer, son.
24 hours remain, better get your shit and fly
Want another ass beating? (Hhaha,) come back any time.


WHO WON
WHO'S NEXT
YOU DECIDE
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES 


The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 7

Hope you enjoy my music I will be posting some soon.

The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 7

Epic Rap Battle Parodies

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