Perfect Disposition

prod me

im in my bed, its late at night
 and im contemplating the rest of life
i cant see myself in the mirror
just a ghost of who i was
you said i was wrong and you're always right
so im telling myself that im not alright
how much longer can i go on
until im no one at all

id kill to get away from here
one shot to the brain no fucking fear
and not a single tear
will drop from my eyes while i bury the fear
yea im fine dont ask cuz im barely here
tell lies to your face while i grin ear to ear
why am i even here
just to wish for a dream thats so unclear

im a bad person tonight
and i guess for the rest of my life
i cant see myself in the mirror
everything's a distraction
i thought that i lost you
and your trust
but its just in my head
in your hands am i dead
you said i was wrong
and your always right
so i tell myself
that im not alright
that im not
im a bad person tonight
and i guess for the rest of my life
i cant see myself in the mirror
everything's a distraction

...

id kill to get away from here
one shot to the brain no fucking fear
and not a single tear
will drop from my eyes while i bury the fear
yea im fine dont ask cuz im barely here
tell lies to your face while i grin ear to ear
why am i even here
just to wish for a dream thats so unclear

distraction

"cover art by Ein
@eincorgi
www.instagram.com/distortion.05/

can't love myself anymore, no I can't
am I alone again? can't handle all this pain in me
am I destined to be alone? I can't understand it
I cannot take it back, too many ways too safe
can't love myself anymore"

released on: 13 June 2022

anymore

wannabe everyday

all credits to @snowblowerr and @ryanhemsworth

snowblower in newark (user cover)

you were sitting in the backseat

and your knees were bent 

as you slowly seeped into the ground

and wrapped your arms around me
i offered you my warmth
and the moon gave me your smile

i watched you beam 
i watched you leave 

we were kissing by the ocean 
in a place i’d never been 
in an awkward kind of manner

like it was the first time all 
over again

i feel that way sometimes
a lot
and i love it and i know that you are 
someone that i can rely on 
and can call on 
to talk to

it is warm here

104bpm

written, performed, and produced by lucas grant
co-produced by callum sheehan and james takateru
mixed and mastered by kiroshi
cover by syd solanke
ORCA 2022 (unto forever!)

lyrics:

It’s just been simple conversation
But I want more
And every single little thing she says 
Makes me adore her

And I'd put 10,000 miles on my car
Or 50 charges on my card
Just for me to be where you are
I wish you didn’t have to be so far
And this feeling is quite bizarre
But I’d like to be where you are
 
And I know it seems so coincidental
I’m just trying hard to not be sentimental
And all I wanted was to pause
And fix the issues I had caused
And understand what you had lost

And those experiences have been rather hard
But they won’t alter my regards
I’d like to be where you are
I wish you didn’t have to be so far
And this feeling is quite bizarre
But I’d like to be where you are

And I'd put 10,000 miles on my car
Or 50 charges on my card
Just for me to be where you are
I wish you didn’t have to be so far
And this feeling is quite bizarre
But I’d like to be where you are

Perfect Disposition

Ava McCoy

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