circles (killedmyself x ʎpoqou)

lyrics

I just need someone to take my pain
just please take it all away
but your words stay scars inside my brain
it's ok u kno it's ok 
so I been sipping on this energy
but u kno it never helps me
this is giving me a headache
I got no more words to say

if I cared to much I'm sorry
don't lose interest in me bb
ur in my head and it destroys me
u knew exactly wht it'd do2 me
been in bed all day I'm dizzy
I know you lied when u said u missed me
u know I tried to fix it all but u were busy
im by myself and now my eyes are turning misty
the music doesn't help as much as it used to but I still love creating so yk I gotta pull thru
it takes a toll on my mental but everything else does too
I just push myself so other find comfort in my pain too 

I just need someone to take my pain
just please take it all away
but your words stay scars inside my brain
it's ok u kno it's ok 
so I been sipping on this energy
but u kno it never helps me
this is giving me a headache
I got no more words to say

ur words left scars (killedmyself)

lyrics 
am I even enough for you anymore
ik its all my fault
ik its all my fault
do you even Care about me anymore more
already kno u don't
texts on read kno u don't
why do I feel this it's not even fair
I jus want u to care
I just want u to care
drag it across my skin pretend I'm shaving hair
the blood dripping down
the blood dripping down

everytime I have nightmare ur with him
no one notices it's not fair, I'm giving in
every reason that I left that in the past
is more apparent every day, wuld u look at that
if I drove i would need a reason not to crash
no one has the energy as me , no one matched
give suggestions I always put up a fight
maybe that's why I'm so used to these goodbyes

I can be overprotective I know that
it's just cuz things are going so well u know what happened last 
I would do anything for her to stay with me
and what should I do if this ends poorly

am I even enough for you anymore
ik its all my fault
ik its all my fault
do you even Care about me anymore more
already kno u don't
texts on read kno u don't
why do I feel this it's not even fair
I jus want u to care
I just want u to care
drag it across my skin pretend I'm shaving hair
the blood dripping down
the blood dripping down

if you spent a day in my shoes you'd never walk in them again

sirens ft alwaysaugst

lyrics

I look
over my
shoulder
I feel like Its
over 
I feel like I 
know
I look
over my
shoulder
I feel like Its
over 
I feel like I 
know

if u gon help than I should come with me
I missed this feeling of our security
I just won't leave it up to fate to tell me
I just won't leave it up to fate to tell me

I know
the past moved 
so slow
I missed u
so much
but time just
slows more
I know more


the walls reek of metal and plaster

lyrics

my hearts pounding out my chest
now I can't even catch my breath
everything hurts
I feel like death
I don't know what to do with myself
anxious from the . message you sent
I should take my life into my own hands
feel it slip thru, out of my palms
then I pick it up and write it in a song

 you
don't know
how I feel
do you
I try
to fix
what's wrong
but I can't
I feel
replaceable
and this don't help
I feel like
I might
need to throw up

my hearts pounding out my chest
now I can't even catch my breath
everything hurts
I feel like death
I don't know what to do with myself
anxious from the . message you sent
I should take my life into my own hands
feel it slip thru, out of my palms
then I pick it up and write it in a song

im at the edge of the earth with only a teddy bear to accompany me

circles

i’ll update soon w/ lxst boy’s lyrics. much luv, ty all 4 being here 🖤🖤

inverted roads
vertigo
just hold me here
till u let go
dont let go 
growing cold
i just want u 2 know
these days, better ion grow old
please stay, never leave me alone
i cry when you tell me you wont
call back, never pick up the phone

how he tryna live life when its lost sight what the mission is
felt all bright till dawnbreak, ironically
every light gone, from the flash of nikons to back of the tunnel
only missing hits and remnants of honesty
flood memories drift thru in waves, its futile when numb
aint even get to see a fucking funeral as a son
r.i.p. 2 mom honestly i miss u to death
never fucked w/ change anyway, they couldnt have told me to run
all you fake peace in violence
find me
lying alone inside a home which only i reside
could teach u how 2 move in silence, witness the eyes
snooze buttons barely hit at 2 sumn at nite
the sunken shell of what useless human u used to find
pictures defined by distant moments in a living mind
and different thoughts of faded people from the afterlife
still affecting me to this day but swear to god i tried

inverted roads
vertigo
just hold me here
till u let go
dont let go 
growing cold
i just want u 2 know
these days, better ion grow old
please stay, never leave me alone
i cry when you tell me you wont
call back, never pick up the phone

r.i.p. ft. lxst boy (1080PALE)

lyrics

im outside
i’m like where the hell you been
i’ll slide
wondering how the hell you been
are you alright
buckle up and put your head back
i’ll play you my new song
i hope that you like it

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

i ain’t see you in so long
but i promise i been working hard stack money on my phone
i don’t talk that much so i barf up words on top these songs
im quiet in the back of the party sipping white claw and patron
just stay with me for a few days help me figure out what the fuck i’m on
baby this big boy shit
i can’t rest im too grown
my back breaking and i can’t find my eyes cuz they too low
my demons like rubrics cube lately
id figure it out but i don’t know

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

she love me too much to remind me that this happens every time
u know i been having trouble staying inside the lines
a little swervy i been drinking every night
it’s like im celebrating not wanting to be alive
my body a temple i can’t turn into a shrine
can’t snuff my flame out before i even find the light
i don’t know how the hell i been am i alright
a couple drinks and autotune and call it a night

blunt something like my therapist start talking when i light it
i act like i don’t care about it but then i get to writing
just cuz i lost your spark don’t mean that i can’t reignite it
love you too much to leave so imma stay and try to fight it
love you too much to hurt you so i fuck around and lie
but i’m not tryna burden you from what’s burning me inside
it’s okay tho
it’s alright
baby i’m outside
baby where the hell you been can you tell me what’s on your mind

shrine (under the maple tree)

mixed and mastered by me
beats made by:
acey
ryan kelly

lyrics

if i ask you for another just say no
ill forgive you in the morning
i dont wanna embarrass myself like i did last year on my birthday
its hard finding friends now that im old
everybodys at their real jobs
while im having trouble falling asleep if i dont have anything in my system
and i love you
so much that i hate everything else
and i know ill feel better tomorrow but thats like a million years from now

you said its all about perspective
well im trying to stand at the angle that you want me
wash dirty laundry with your makeup on it
and youre so sensitive so ill try to say it in a way where youll still love me
baby watch me while i attempt to make a love song for you
i got a second pair of headphones so that you can listen to
but you fall asleep on your phone and i end up trashing the whole thing
and im so focused on myself
today lets do what you want to do
ill face everything ive felt
if it means that i could feel you

hope i drink enough tonight that im excited about tomorrow
i drove home less sober than i shouldve been
in hopes that you would follow
i think of everything in life
and why its still so hard to fit in
if we dont have to much time why does it move so fast when im blinking

you said its all about perspective
well im trying to stand at the angle that you want me
wash dirty laundry with your makeup on it
and youre so sensitive so ill try to say it in a way where youll still love me
baby watch me while i attempt to make a love song for you
i got a second pair of headphones so that you can listen to
but you fall asleep on your phone and i end up trashing the whole thing
and im so focused on myself
today lets do what you want to do
ill face everything ive felt
if it means that i could feel you

estate sale (p. acey)

i hear cracks from the mirrors inside
glitter n light in front of my eyes
with it coming too close into sight
scared of what might be coming alive
i left notes about taking my life
and the scenes that unfold in my mind
give me reasons for why i should hide
now that i’ve seen their hollow disguise

my sudden demise
they’d cope
but i can’t lie
they’d know
that i had died with hope
lost

i feel my heart turn cold
pick up a moss clad stone
sneaking along cold floors
now

then i see it
turn of the corner
i hear heavy breathing
running for cover
the terror is seething
at this point there’s no god to believe in

oxygen low, bone dry
sucking out all my life
clenching my fists, ready to fight
checking again if i’m dead or alive

the daylight vanished before i could catch it (dash)

Thought I had a better sense of this 
Astigmatism showing images that I don’t think I’ll miss 
At the cross road lamp lights circle in the mist 
What direction can we figure from the list 

Headed straight right through the shadow 
Got a fast pace walk past the gallows
Fortified gate I’m not mistaken 
Better not be me that you’re replacing 
Can I use that match this needs inhaling
I saw you tranced up by this painting
All the details ever striking 
And we hesitate but only slightly 

i didn’t wanna be here in the first place so when you’re ready let’s go
she put big rocks in this blunt i feel my skin turn to stone
so imma be up all night
just perfecting these songs
i’m sorry im late i was just spinning think these pills make me more drunk
i swear its not even fun
love, baby tell me that i am the one
and what’s said is done
swear this denim packed with toxic
i can’t feel my lungs
you should check your phone i think too much
and i miss your touch
please excuse the interruption when i grab the clutch
imma be driving all night

imma drive up that road that we both know too well 
By the back of our hands our palms can sense it when the ridge fell 
I’m keeping two plates on me 
I can’t decide for your eyes sake baby 
I’ll keep it low just like the temperature this morning 
let’s keep on sorting 
this mess could you adorn me 

Headed straight right through the shadow 
Got a fast pace walk past the gallows
Fortified gate I’m not mistaken 
Better not be me that you’re replacing 
Can I use that match this needs inhaling
I saw you tranced up by this painting
All the details ever striking 
And we hesitate but only slightly

lamp light ft. notahero (cl6udy)

The Ruiner

i've physically been able to relatively get back into releasing music like this;
recovery has been ridiculously difficult, but i feel lightyears more capable
compared to what once was, and the soul-crushing aspect of not being able to output like this is slowly but truly dissipating.

production; courtesy of @wraithontheporch 

thank you for being here, so much.
be safe out there


ignorance laced from the brain to the lips
"if it ain't worth shit, why wait to be there when it is?"
though belated of light, though faint and estranged,
though strained, no night's that blind
festered and caught in a wind,
silently ridden renewal beginnings
forgiving the spite dealt upon all i am,
i take and refrain for the cycle's expansion

i'll mention the faulty of fate,
when the frame's out of range,
have the soul act in place of a comet
to strike down upon this, enduring the promise,
mistakenly pompous, forsaken and rotten

splurging the truth yet perceived as a cheat;
guttural speech yet sewage conceived;
scour the hour once all has devoured the spirit of tone 
that i currently breathe

i'm ripping the bag,
you could swear i'm a coon with trash, being glad with the leftover meat,
but y'all are facetious to see the extent of believing, 
the moment you feel it impede
few to foresee what'll lie in the wake of a bribe,
for a mind doesn't mold what it reaps from you guys whom die and revive,
to come back as a cry, in the form of a grime with a greed

how you gonna lie when we built for the truth?
"how you gonna try what you ain't wanna prove?"
how you gonna cry outside of the booth?
lost too many times that i've slept life through
i've watched myself slipping back into blue,
i've seen defeat in the form of anew
told out myself that i'm seeing it through
told out myself that it's worth every bruise

feeling it out won't dispel,
alice was simply compelled
the bottom is treating you well,
no wonder we're now so frail;
i could use a light for the trail

scrapwork (wraithontheporch)

lyrics

know you think you’re special and important, uh, yeah
but you’re not blowing gas inside this foreign, uh, yeah
i’m half asleep, god, you’re fucking boring, uh, yeah
just getting pockets filled with cheese while yawning
i’ve got the birks, and they see me
handing out bags like it’s vv
changing up ways, yeah, i’m feeling like yeezy
uh, “mum, i’m on tv.”
i’ve got the boys, yeah, it’s rounds on me
you don’t want beef, who is you fucking with?
cause i’m on the street, we’re on the street
i’m blowing gas, whipping this shit while you’re throwing your ass
when it’s this top shelf, i’m not doing math
but i’ll double down that
you show me love, and i love when you laugh
yeah, i’m a pleaser, a cookie to pass
living it lavish, uh, i’m here to please
baby, i get it, i got what you need
i’ma just slide to your crib in beat
come here, lil baby, my flow is on peak
come here now, cookies in stream
i know i get messy when i’m in the paint
stars so bright, it’s like i’m serving cocaine
sorry, that’s novocaine
other one told me to pick me up, no, i can’t
cause this one right next to me, she wants the ring
but still, i got to think
about who do you think you is while i do my thing
but right now, i am free
i got the key
me and maxy, everyone else inside baltic sea
cooking up sound waves and cooking up dreams
know you think you’re special and important, uh, yeah
but you’re not blowing gas inside this foreign, uh, yeah
i’m half asleep, god, you’re fucking boring, uh, yeah
just getting pockets filled with cheese while yawning
i’ve got the birks, and they see me
handing out bags like it’s vv
changing up ways, yeah, i’m feeling like yeezy
uh, “mum, i’m on tv.”
i’ve got the boys, yeah, it’s rounds on me
you don’t want beef, who is you fucking with?
cause i’m on the street, we’re on the street (i'm on the street

on me

on me (coffeelover)

Got the call yesterday, still dont know what happened
Memories start to flood, aimless in Miami 
What id give just to get one more hug from brandyn  
I been on the floor tonight but dont feel like dancing 
Stay outside in the night, only way to manage 
Been two years since I left, still can feel the damage
See your face everywhere, thoughts leave me in panic
3 am at a bar watching modern family
read the captions cause I can never hear a thing 
reggaeton bumping loud 
have no fucking idea what they’re saying 
it’s never fun 
tryna talk to anyone 
come and go
rather sit at home alone 

 




so disconnected from what I once knew 
it’s not something im happy about 
always so passive whenever anything fucked up comes my way 
It dont matter what I have to say 
the past is the past
all I can do is just leave it at that
Aint shit changed besides the way I say certain things
And the fact I no longer live life in a stillframe
Every step forward feels like I just go back a couple of years 
Tryna look past the skin and the scars and glimmer of hope 
I need a new weapon to fight off the fear 
Still wont let nobody close to me 
Chords and a bpm- my only therapy 
If I had some id shout out my og’s
At 15 years old shoulda just pulled a Jeremy 

I called up Steph and she told me to calm down and everything’s gonna be alright with time 
Forgiveness has always been something that I cannot grant to myself, got no reason to try 
singing about you dont mean im upset 
Keeping the pictures cause I never wanna forget 
The feeling will never be mutual for you 
Im willing to bet that
Understandable the life that we pictured was just unattainable 
Not everybody can get every chapter 
So try to find  peace when the presence is only occasional 
The cause and effect of being stuck in my head 
Those motherfuckers were never my friends 
Woke up today so I guess theres no asking
 ill get up and start it again

geronimo

everything by me
be as well as you can be;
thank you for being here.

i've seen what they're after,
those piles of fiction,
drawings of answers
warping perceptions

o mother, or father, 
doth cast a reflection?
they weasel and balter 
to distance from lesson

out of grace,
i fall from the arms of armistice
lack every card but the ace,
played when he longs for not a thing

studies of readings inscribed by the feeble
distorted, then imported to feed and fuel an ego
though karma is nothing but patience and sermon
for evil and ugly of heart are persistent
the paling and devoid of taste cheer
tagged and collared, held in place
does it ever pose you great fear?
were we ever meant for aim?
to strain
to ache
to strive
to break
to bend on command,
do you not feel disdain?
i'm awake for age of negation
and stripped away of certain relation,
but i believe in better days,
though how does one both go and stay?

out of grace
i fall from the arms of armistice

cyanide skin

/pronounced avoid/

i will see it thru


4EVER // deadwood

avxidmgmt@gmail.com

sirens ft alwaysaugst

AVXiD

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