Too long for playlists. Too soft for cynics. Too sharp for romantics. Too honest for parody. Too self-aware for comfort. And still—somehow—about you.

Fourteen Fables (and a Few Fractals): An Existential Cabaret

They spoke in numbers, they spoke in fire
Built altars of thunder, of blood, of choir
I kept the silence. I counted the names
Two thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine flames
And then... 
One more

In the desert of books and bones
They built their gods from fractured stones
Each face familiar, each voice divine
Until the sky ran out of time

One bled for thunder
One drowned for rain
One wept in gardens
One promised pain

They left us parables sharp as knives
But none could chart a satellite

What returns when you burn it all?
What speaks when the statues fall?
Not the psalms, not the scrolls...
Just the pull of poles, and the curve of orbits

Repeat the trial, forget the tale
No need for prophets to lift the veil
It all returns
The falling speed
The sequence of a growing seed
The spectrum's split, the echo's path
But never faith. Not that

No shrine can hold what's truly known
No prayer can match the undertone
Of numbers whispered in the stone
The world repeats
The world repeats
But gods... 
Do not come home

I saw your temples, your sacred laws
I saw the math beneath the claws
And when I turned-alone, unnamed
I was not damned
I was not changed
I simply walked...
One god beyond

Born Godless

Clock, uncoil your coil again
They enter with eyes lit blue and blank
Chairs creak like relics. Nothing begins

Each phrase a relic, polished thin
Where noise pretends that thought begins

Fimus Tauri - We nod. We stay. We pass
Fimus Tauri - The hour coils. The minutes mass
Fimus Tauri - We nod. We stay. We pass
Fimus Tauri - The sacred silence pressed in glass

"Sink the self beneath the brief"
"Balance faith against the frame"
"When all the suns are dead and done"
"Raise the banner none can name"

A clash of dates, a flicker lost
The scheduling stone is double-crossed
No duel, no flame-but still, collapse
We burn by spreadsheet's silent traps

I spoke. You spoke
He spoke. She spoke
He spoke again, we all agreed
Yet no one moved, and no one lead
The loop returned. The loop was fed
The document lives. The moment's dead

Each phrase a relic, polished thin
Where noise pretends that thought begins

Fimus Tauri - We nod. We stay. We pass
Fimus Tauri - The hour coils. The minutes mass
Fimus Tauri - We nod. We stay. We pass
Fimus Tauri - The sacred silence pressed in glass

If there was fire, it wasn't lit
If there was war, it wasn't bled
But silence... after silence...
Felt like death

Streaming services

Fimus Tauri

You never touched me
But the space you left
I keep falling into it

There was no plan
No signal flared in the sky, no moment carved in time
Just something slow
and quiet
and final
in the way your gaze didn't move

You looked at me like a question you weren't ready to ask
And I stayed still-because I wasn't ready to answer

You didn't lean in
I didn't breathe out
The pause got heavier
I swear, it pressed on my ribs like a second heart

And maybe you meant nothing
But my body rephrased you
into yes

This isn't hunger
Not exactly
This is knowing what you'd taste like
if I ever let you be real

Not a touch-and still it stung
Not a sound-and still I spun
What we are-unsaid.
What we want-undone.

I imagined what your hand would feel like on the back of my neck
not heavy, not claiming, just there
like something I forgot I wanted
until it reminded me

You moved one breath closer
The air gave up its shape
I didn't step back

Do you know how rare it is
to want someone like a sentence half-remembered
but still trust the ending?

Not a touch-and still it stung
Not a sound-and still I spun
What we are-unsaid.
What we want-undone.

Then silence folded-soft, complete
and breath met breath in rhythm sweet
Not taken. Not claimed. Just given
like a truth too full to speak

And we were
naked
Not just skin
but thought
and choice
and everything we didn't say
now echoing in the heat between
what moved... and what stayed

No vow, no proof
just pulse
and yes
and now

And nothing left undone

Held Without Hands

Tick and flare
The signal sings
I chase the shine
that shadows bring
The lights begin, the wires lean
You’re deep inside the dopamine

Flash from the wall, I'm drawn like ink
Smile like a riddle, eyes don't blink
Breathe in the buzz, the filter's clean
One step closer to the in-between

Flick of the switch, a surge, a scheme
Thoughts align inside the stream

Spin, I'm lit in a chemical beam
Grit and glitter in the bloodstream
Sweet little fix in a self-made scene
I jolt, I gleam
Dance of dopamines

The loop is law
The loop is lean
It kisses soft
But cuts unseen

Woke with the hum of electric grace
The ghost of a grin still stuck to my face
Every impulse dressed like a king
Gold in the bite, frost in the sting

The screen writes sermons line by line
Each tap a hymn, each click divine

Spin, I'm lit in a chemical beam
Grit and glitter in the bloodstream
Sweet little fix in a self-made scene
I bend, I spark
Dance of dopamines

The rhythm calls in minor tones
Wrapped in wires, dressed in bones
I arch like code beneath the sheen
A marionette in the mind's machine

Silken tremor, velvet twitch
Craving's tune, a perfect glitch
I danced too far, I cracked the core
And still the circuit begs for more

Spin, I'm lit in a chemical beam
Grit and glitter in the bloodstream
Tangled deep in the endless dream
I twist, I scream
Dance of dopamines

Click
Crave
Begin
Again
Dance
dopamines

Dance of Dopamines

You were just in the next room
Weren't you?
I set two spoons
And the kettle screamed at me
For being wrong
Again

I don't cry
I rehearse
This absence
It's not a sentence
Just a wrinkle in the hours
Just a door someone forgot to close

Come back, and I'll forget what you said
Come back, and I'll tear out the ending
Come back, and I'll believe in gods
Come back, and I'll fold the universe
Down to a note
Tucked in your coat

(You took the coat. You took the note.)

Who do I become
When you're not the name
My day was built around?

I touch the outline you left in the air
It feels like emptiness
It feels like loss without direction
It feels like the beginning of extinction

I hate you
Because you're not here
Not because of how
Not because of when
Just the brutal, raw arithmetic
Of your not-being-where-I-left-you

You took, the rhythm of doors closing gently
You took, my habit of laughing before the punchline
You took, every second that might've meant anything

And you left
this echo in my mouth
that keeps calling your name
like a heretic naming saints

I feed your silence
It grows fat
It learns my gait
It sleeps in your side of the bed
And I tuck it in

It watches shows you would've hated.
It wears your robe
It hums out of tune
And I never correct it

Sometimes it weeps
Because I don't
Sometimes it reads
The notes you never answered
Sometimes it just sits
And listens to me
Not saying your name

I stopped saying "you'd love this"
Now I just stare
At the thing you would've loved
And nod
As if you're already watching
From wherever this absence feeds itself

I set no spoons
The kettle stays quiet

You're Not Where I Left You

He asked me why
then told me what I meant
As if I'd nodded
He drew my voice
in chalk outlines
and claimed I'd run

He argued with a strawman
stacked me tall and thin
fed me lines I never spoke
then bragged about the win
But I never moved
I wasn't there
He battled echoes
in the empty air

He needed me simple
so he trimmed the pieces
that wouldn't break easy
He wore my silence
like a trophy
called it proof

I tried to speak
between his verdicts
But he filled the spaces
with speeches
he wrote for me
His voice louder than mine
his need to be right
louder than truth

He argued with a strawman
gave me thoughts I never claimed
stripped me down to paper fears
then set the stage and named the game
He won alone
I watched him shout
He locked the truth
and left me out

I wasn't perfect
But I was real
Still, he fenced a fiction
and crowned himself
king of reason
Even my pauses
were misread as guilt

He argued with a strawman
not the voice that stood right here
Now all that lingers
is the silence he won't hear
He needed noise
I offered thought
He left the battle
having never fought

I was still speaking...
But he'd already answered

Strawman

Woke up in a city, chasing dreams in neon light
Had a pocket full of hope, thought I'd own the night
But the skyline's just a backdrop, for the race I'm running blind
Every step I take forward, leaves contentment behind

Bought the latest gadget, thought it'd fill the void inside
But the thrill it faded quickly, now it's just another ride
Climbing higher, reaching further, but the summit's out of sight
On this endless hedonic treadmill, I'm spinning every night

Round and round, I'm chasing shadows in the dark
Another mile, another milestone, but I'm back where I start
Hedonic treadmill, always running, but I never find the spark
Just a ghost in a machine, losing pieces of my heart


There's a woman in the mirror, she's got lines beneath her eyes
She's been climbing corporate ladders, trading sleep for overtime
Every promotion, just a moment, in the grand scheme of her life
The applause fades to silence, leaving echoes of her strife

She bought a house with a garden, but the flowers never bloom
She filled the rooms with fancy things, yet still she feels the gloom
She's got a title, got respect, but it's just another plume
On the wings of her ambition, flying circles in her room

Round and round, she's chasing shadows in the dark
Another mile, another milestone, but she's back where she start
Hedonic treadmill, always running, but she never finds the spark
Just a ghost in a machine, losing pieces of her heart

We're all dreamers, we're believers, in the future we design
But the finish line keeps moving, with each goal we redefine
We're addicted to the newness, to the rush of what's unseen
But the high's a fleeting moment, like a whisper in between

There's a kid out in the suburbs, dreaming big behind closed doors
He's got posters of his idols, and a list of all his scores
But the medals on his dresser, are just tokens of his wars
Fighting battles for approval, never knowing what it's for

He's got the grades, he's got the plan, but something's always missed
The joy of simple moments, lost in the pursuit of bliss
He's climbing higher, thinking someday, he'll reach the top of this
But the view is just a mirage, fading into the abyss

Round and round, we're chasing shadows in the dark
Another mile, another milestone, but we're back where we start
Hedonic treadmill, always running, but we never find the spark
Just ghosts in a machine, losing pieces of our hearts

So we run, and we run, through the night and through the day
Chasing happiness like a phantom, that always slips away
But maybe if we stop, take a breath, and just stay
We'll find the joy we're missing, in the simple things we say

Hedonic Treadmill

The band gathers around you. You're the subject now.
Look around—four curious faces, leaning in.
 Don’t see them?
 Don’t be silly. They’re fictional. You just need a bit of imagination to meet them halfway.
Theo clears his throat.
 “Today’s focus: humans and their invisible friends.”
Ava winces. Julian suppresses a laugh.
 Theo continues anyway—
The study begins. They start small, and simple: religion.
Humans are fascinating.
 Many say religion is sacred—
 a cornerstone of meaning, morality, and soul.
 And yet, nearly all 3,000 known gods are dismissed without ceremony.
 Filed under myth.
 Except, perhaps, for one.
 Usually the one their parents happened to believe in.

Fable I: Religion

The band watches you intently. Ava tilts her head.

This attention is both exciting and disturbing, isn’t it?

After a few seconds, there’s that familiar itch—
the urge to check your notifications.

“They always start with just one tap,” says Theo.

You just want to check one thing.
One message. One ping. One dopamine drip.

Soon it’s 2 a.m.
Your eyes burn. Your brain hums.
Your soul scrolls.

You’re not happy.
You’re not sad.

“They are optimized. Rewarded and trained,” observes Kate,
typing notes without looking up.

Theo mutters something about Pavlov.
Julian’s already swiping.

Tap. Swipe. Like. Loop. Crave.

The study continues.

Fable II: Cravings

The band watches you. Again.
Ava begins to speak—
but Julian leans back, arms crossed, and cuts in:

“So what you’re saying is—truth doesn’t matter if it hurts someone’s feelings.”

Ava blinks.
“That’s… not even close to what I said.”

“Right, right,” Julian grins. “You just think emotions are superior to logic.”

Theo raises an eyebrow. Ava looks ready to leave.

Kate scribbles something, then calmly adds,
“This is actually perfect. A live specimen.”

You feel the tension in your spine.
You want to interrupt.
But now Julian’s arguing with a version of Ava he invented.

The real one has gone quiet.

Welcome to discourse.

The studies continue.

Fable III: Effigy

You’re still in the study. But now, you're seated beside them.
Long table. Lukewarm coffee.

“This,” says Kate, “is a simulation of a meeting. But let’s pretend it’s real.”

Hey—didn’t you hear her? It is a meeting.
Your impression is far too eager.
Try looking serious, but bored.

Theo straightens his notes with unnecessary precision.
Julian adjusts imaginary glasses. Ava sighs.

Someone says “synergy.”
Someone else says “actionable.”
A motion is raised. Then tabled.

You nod. Everyone nods. No one listens.
Someone suggests real change. The room flinches.

The meeting ends the way it always does:
with nothing decided, and everyone relieved.

The sacred ritual of saying nothing, beautifully.

This is song four: Fimus Tauri.
Things sound fancier in Latin, don’t they?
But it’s all the same BS.

Fable IV: Ritual

The band turns their attention back to you.

Ava leans in.
“Have you noticed how they look when there’s no notification?”

Theo nods. “It’s interesting. Like they’re expecting a dopamine hit… or a message… and when it doesn’t come—”

“It’s sadness,” Ava finishes. “Or distraction. Or something like loneliness, before they admit it.”

Julian taps his phone. Nothing happens. He stares at it anyway.

Kate scribbles: “Expectation is a form of attachment.”

The silence that follows is familiar. Too familiar.

You weren’t rejected.
You weren’t forgotten.

You were... nothinged.

The study continues.
But more gently, this time.

Fable V: Absence

“We should try something more positive,” Julian says.

“Love,” Ava suggests.

“Oh, that’s simple,” Theo replies—already stacking a small tower of books.
Romeo and Juliet. Pride and Prejudice. The Art of Loving. Attachment Theory.

Julian shakes his head. “You need films. Real ones. With longing. And kissing in the rain.”

The band turns to you.

“How does love actually work?”

You hesitate.

Kate watches you closely.
“Maybe it’s not always flashy or instant,” she murmurs.
“Maybe it’s quieter. More complicated. More—”

She doesn’t finish the sentence.

Some things don’t need to be said.

Fable VII: Love

The room is quiet now.
The data’s been logged. The charts are neat.
But something’s missing.

“We’ve watched them act,” Ava says. “But we didn’t feel it.”

Julian stares at his hands. “We need new instruments.”

Theo flips the whiteboard and writes a single word: Feelings.

This part of the study requires more than observation.

It requires vulnerability.
It requires trying.

You need to help them out.
The topic: grief.

Imagine what it felt like when you lost someone. Or something.

Ava whispers, “This is sad.”

Julian wipes a tear from the corner of his eye.
“But it’s not what I expected.”

Kate finally sets her clipboard down.

For the first time, no one takes notes.

This isn’t data.
This is something else.

Fable VI: Grief

The notes are more scattered now.
The data, less structured.
Ava says they need a new method.
Theo says they need time.
Kate says they need honesty.

Julian just stares at the graph where the trend line loops back on itself.

“That’s not noise,” he mutters. “It’s a spiral.”

A descent? A recursion? A return?

It doesn’t matter.

Because now, the study turns inward.

Not to observe others—
but to admit what we do
when no one’s looking.

The contradictions we feed.
The questions we frame just to avoid the answers.

There’s a room.
You say no one’s allowed in.
But you hope someone comes in anyway.

The study continues.
So does the waiting.

Fable X: Ambivalence

“Let’s try something light,” Julian says.

“Happiness,” Theo nods, cueing up a new study.

On the screen, a woman opens a box. A new phone.
Her face lights up—for exactly three seconds.

Then the expression resets.

The scene loops: new car, new shoes, new promotion.
Spark. Reset. Spark. Reset.

“Is that joy?” Ava asks. “Or just motion?”

Kate offers a term: “Treadmill effect. Technically, adaptation to stimuli.”

Julian frowns. “Feels more like a spell.”

They turn to you.

“What makes you happy?”

You think about the last time you wanted something.
And got it.
And felt happy… for a bit.

The line keeps moving.

Turns out, it wasn’t happiness you were chasing—
just momentum.

Please remain on the ride.
Exit is temporarily unavailable.

Fable VIII: Happiness

The group gathers around Julian.
He’s staring into something quietly mesmerizing.

“What is that?” Ava asks.

Kate leans in. “The Mandelbrot set. A fractal.”
She points. “Zoom in anywhere, and you’ll find a version of the whole.
Self-similar. Infinite. Recursive.”

Ava tilts her head. “Isn’t that… just how life works?
One branching path after another.
One unlikely step at a time.”

Kate nods. “And yet—somehow—you end up here.”

Theo adds, “Technically, everything is improbable.
But survival introduces bias.”

They all look at you.

Julian speaks.
“What’s your impossible thing?
The one that shouldn’t have worked—but did?”

You hesitate.

They wait.

Because some answers aren’t found in logic,
or statistics,
or certainty.

Some answers just are.

Fable IX: Wonder

Welcome!
This is not a concert. Not really an album. Not a podcast either.
It is a thought experiment.
With music. 
An existential cabaret.

Over the next fourteen tracks, four imaginary minds—fully aware they’re fictional—try to understand what it means to be human.

They do what scientists do.
They read books.
They analyze data.
They study humans. Including you.
In fact—especially you.

They watch your grief. Your smile.
Your discomfort with this line of thinking.
They trace your longing like it was code.

And then, they tell fables.

These are not answers. 
They’re observations. 
Approximations.
Attempts.

But don’t worry—
it’ll be disguised as poetry,
so you don’t have to take it personally.

Unless you want to.

Shall we begin?

Fourteen Fables: Prologue

You typed - three dots - then silence fell
A flicker of thought, then the digital spell
Just broke
No war, no closure, no smoke
Not a fight, not a funeral, just... blank
You left my name like coins in a riverbank
Unspent
Unread
Unsaid

I built a castle in our thread
Wrote sonnets in the ellipses
While you vanished
like you owed the wind a debt

I shook hands with fate in a glass tower
"You're exactly what we need"
They said with teeth-white power
“Next week"
"Soon"
"Circle back"
I wore ambition like a suit
But it unraveled down the track

Boardroom lights dimmed without goodbye
An inbox full of maybes
A future left on "Standby"

Tell me
Did you mean it when you asked for my dream
Or was I just auditioning for someone else's screen?

I was born with stars behind my eyes
But now they flicker
Refuse to rise
I spoke in plans
Wrote time in chalk
But rain came faster than I could talk

The mirror ghosts me most of all
Each year a friend who doesn't call

Did you hear me, Life?
I knocked
I burned
I bled

But you blinked right through me
And left me unread

A ghost's not dead
Just forgotten
A song half-hummed
A voice gone rotten
No screams, no graves, no final word
Just silence
Beautifully...
Absurd

Ghosted

A spark in the chaos, a glance in the night
Two particles drifting, colliding in flight
A billion to one, we still found our way
Through the cosmic confusion, you asked me to stay

We defied the odds, we broke the rules
In this world of chance, we're nobody's fools
Even if it's fleeting, I'll take the fall
'Cause finding you feels like beating them all

Time's an equation that none can escape
The longer we hold, the more things break
But I'd take the risk, rewrite every line
Just to know that for now, you are mine

We defied the odds, we broke the rules
In this world of chance, we're nobody's fools
Even if it's fleeting, I'll take the fall
'Cause finding you feels like beating them all

Maybe it breaks
maybe it bends
like a flicker of wonder
that quietly mends

It echoes through silence
then rises, ascends
a moment unmeasured
that somehow transcends

You and I
against the pull of entropy
The odds were wrong
You’re my improbability

My Improbability

Some new songs available here: https://axiomsofmediocrity.bandcamp.com/album/eighteen-below

Fourteen Fables (and a Few Fractals): An Existential Cabaret

Axioms of Mediocrity