a winter love song for friends, community, and family (chosen and otherwise). im so sorry for the crying, this voice memo is from right when I finished writing it and I was VERY emotional. ehheheheheheheheh.  I hope this winter makes u feel warm and loved.

Jimmy's Lullaby

teenage DREAM *

backyard beetle - one step back (prod. cxrter)

produced by cxrter & VITO
mix & master by cxrter & evergarden
📸: Lizzy Chew

lyrics:
(greenwood)
go in circles, somewhere to know you
call it sickness, white lights and cold rooms
say my name, the dark luminates through
only made in states i'm constrained to

tell me what's the cost
something just to have
everybody else gets on easier than that
i could make a call
you could send it back
i could give you everything
just tell me what you want
i could put it all to the side
it's just a noise now
i could make it right in the end
but what's the point now
fuck it up so late the game
who i'm supposed to be
i was me, but it's really not a choice now
voice down, breathe in, breathe out
never one to fall, but i'm in so deep
dream of death when i fall asleep

white lies just complicate it
painted in colors fading
wonder why i've been so pressed
feet on top, my neck have started pressing down again

go in circles, somewhere to know you
call it sickness, white lights and cold rooms
say my name, the dark luminates through
only made in states i'm constrained to

(notcursed)
don't wanna cause a loss of my own life
my own voice don’t feel right
you called it, under the street light
i walked back alone
i’m craving for a feeling
creating my own meaning
heart drops, a fleeting
but you wouldn’t believe it
let it sink in
i can't find a reason for all the commotion
when will i learn all the parts i’m supposed to
don’t understand the new feelings that grow though

(greenwood)
go in circles, somewhere to know you
call it sickness, white lights and cold rooms
say my name, the dark luminates through
only made in states i'm constrained to

circles (prod. cxrter x vito)

LYRICS:

I’ve come a long way from where I was just a year ago 
I was crashed out all the time 
I ain’t really wanna see it tho 
I was saying I was fine 
But in between those lies 
I was playing into egos of those draining my life and taking my light 
(You took my light away)
You say that we’re brothers but at the same time you don’t let me shine 
You traded our friendship for numbers all I gotta ask you’s why?
Now I hit ignore on every single call whenever you try
Lost my best friend 
Lost my temper 
Lost my mind 
All I’m looking for is a reason 
I have always been kind to yall 
But yall switching up like the seasons 
Leaves fallin off trees getting replaced that’s what I’ve needed 
Like a cherry blossom faded too quick that’s why I’m grieving 
You see the pain inside of my eyes I’m ready to go 
Lived on the passenger side for half of my life now I am ready to control 
I’ve been living my best life ever since I branched out on my own 
Had to take my own advice 
Had to make a little sacrifice 

Had to drop the ones that had me feelin skeptic 
I don’t take shit deep oftenly but that shits embedded 
I’ve been dodgin blows like rock Lee 
Sandy shores I’ve stepped in
Some my battles lost I was weak 
But I learned my lesson 
Got back on my feet and started gaining back my confidence 
Doing my own thing while others learn about what karma is 
If I ever drank to my accomplishments 
I’d be blacked out cause there’s too many on the list 
Ooo woah 
Forgive and forget the things they said 
I know 
These things ain’t permanent 
I’ll grow into somebody that won’t change for them 
I just need somebody that gon make some sense 
To come and understand me and make me feel contempt 
A secure and loving relationship is what I need 
Oh I

Seasons

produced by cxrter & threemvsk
📸: cxrter

lyrics:
broken somehow
skeletons in my closet, such a let down
trust broken into pieces, what i got now
i don’t really wanna talk and leave it all out
leave it all out, yeah i’m gone now

i’m wide awake still
yeah i’m here still
in a past thrill
threw it all away out the door
why do i care anymore
my dreams all lined up on the floor
feelin like a ghost
might just comatose
know i do the most and still
i’ve been in my room
coping making tunes
been this way since june
it’s all that i…
why am i told that it’s true
when i can’t come back to you

broken somehow
skeletons in my closet, such a let down
trust broken into pieces, what i got now
i don’t really wanna talk and leave it all out
leave it all out, yeah i’m gone now
broken somehow
skeletons in my closet, such a let down
trust broken into pieces, what i got now
i don’t really wanna talk and leave it all out
leave it all out, yeah i’m gone now

gone now (prod. cxrter x threemvsk)

backyard beetle - even if i tried (prod. mackk)

produced by cxrter & retz
📸: cxrter

lyrics:
i’m so sick of the notion
they won’t ever understand 
got no things to put hope in
got me hanging by a strand
keep a cabinet open
and a bottle in my hand
found the pressure too potent
now i'm nothing like you planned
thought you wanted devotion
now you want some other man
got me stuck in a ocean
it’s high tide

everybody wanna know what i do
it doesn't matter
when i'm writing
swear it's pulling me through

we don’t talk like we did when we were close friends
i've been sick and tired, tying up my loose ends
she said i should go to bed, but i need one more
sorry baby, i know lately i'm an eyesore

yeah we used to want that house with picket fence
now summers almost over and you told me it depends
putting teardrops on my pants 
and now my music my one plan
i don’t wanna walk around it
quit the drama no offense
i’mma 
i’mma be who i'm destined to be
watching people pull me down
but i'm still on my feet
bet you’re looking at now
while i'm living out my dreams
never did it for myself
girl i did it for the weak

we don’t talk like we did when we were close friends
i've been sick and tired, tying up my loose ends
she said i should go to bed, but i need one more
sorry baby, i know lately i'm an eyesore

everybody wanna know what i do
it doesn't matter
when i'm writing
swear it's pulling me through
just hoping for some guidance
looking at my scars
on my cheeks and on my eyelids

like girl i feel it in my chest, when the night turns young i can feel it in my head now
why i’m feeling so depressed
but i try to talk about it
and it turns into a mess
i was just a kid now i'm losing all my hope
put a bounty on my head
point your gun and now i'm broke
wrong way wrong turn and now im dead weight
can't kick a habit
i can feel it on my worst days
they keep saying that im perfect
but u knew im never worth it
like i kept lying to ur face
now i'm going back to bed
but its been feeling like my grave

we don’t talk like we did when we were close friends
i've been  sick and tired, tying up my loose ends
she said i should go to bed but i need one more
sorry baby i know lately i'm an eyesore

eyesore w/ halfhearted (prod. cxrter x retz)

Tell Me Now! (feat. jov4s)

anywhere.

produced by 9TAILS & G9

lyrics:

9TAILS:
cant wait
I gotta vacate
party had closed down
and I brought the gas down
got orange hairs in the kush
im blowing soundclouds
you looking dead weight
look at me sideways
you know I eat hate
I got a full plate
ill bring a second around
fire they hosing me down
people are slowing me down
loud keep on blocking em out
I guess im buying an ounce
up
fuck it im buying a pound
keep it around
I never drive but all of these gas prices are
cleaning me out
skrt skrt
in a Gucci cloak
girl in fendi fur
look at her
she want Toronto's touch
she feel like the spurs
oh my word
pipe it down
for the 6
she 9'd it first
she Manhattan with the top
2009 with the jerk

SAVAGEGA$P:
I said like not again
oh my god im lit
oh my god im lit
im off the shits
I got stupid fits
and some Gucci kicks
its fuck em then
I don't need no friends
they can suck my dick
im going in
I cant hold this in
want it all 
I said like 2-2-3
like can you end this please
like how'd I get this key
like why did it choose me
but look like man I feel like drado
poppin like a draco
and im in the 6 dog 
cream soda faygo

9TAILS:
I done got my ticket now im sleeping out in new York
shitting on these rappers dreams I see em Freddy Krueger
when I shoot my shots I shoot my words hit like a ruger
I done quit the job and dodge that school like Ferris Bueller

I done got my ticket now im sleeping out in new York
shitting on these rappers dreams I see em Freddy Krueger
when I shoot my shots I shoot my words hit like a ruger
I done quit the job and dodge that school like Ferris Bueller

NY ft. savagegasp (prod. 9TAILS x G9)

never give up


also known as sixthirtyeight


musician / graphic designer / engineer 

backyard beetle - one step back (prod. cxrter)

backyard beetle

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