So, this song has been in the works for about 2 years and I never thought I would actually end up releasing this song until fairly recently (the last couple months). The end of 2021 to the beginning half of 2022 was undeniably was the worst time of my life. I mean, I understood that I was in college during that time (and I still am) and I know that you’re supposed to be having the time of your life and make them your “best years ever”, but I don’t even remember half of the things that I did during that time because of where my mind was. A lot of different stuff happened during and before that time, and I’m not going to go into specifics, but if you listen to the lyrics, you could probably take a good guess as to some things I was dealing with.
When I was looking back at the lyrics, I wrote 1 ½ years ago, and as I was revising them, I noticed that the lyrics revealed a lot of fears I had back then. Some of them I still have to this day. So, I ended up writing them all down about 2-3 months ago, and I only realized how much of a terrible mindset I was in then; AFTER having gone through all the literal pain and the process of getting better slowly over time. I then realized that writing this song was my way of confiding to myself how I felt and what I wasn’t able to tell people 2 years ago, or couldn’t find the words at the time.
I know a lot of people have gone through similar things that I talk about, and I really hope that those who relate to some of my lyrics know that you’re not alone. Which is coincidentally how I felt while writing the lyrics. I felt like there wasn’t a way out of it and things will never get better. But I want everybody who will listen to this to know that if you’re going through similar things that I did, I guarantee you will get out of it. It’s probably not going happen tomorrow, next week, or maybe even this year. It doesn’t matter how big or small what you’re going through is, if it’s negatively affecting you or making you feel down, it’s something that you should take note of and see what you can do about it. There’s going be days where you’re recovering and you’ll feel like you should stop trying and give up. However, one thing that got me through what I went through is that I knew I would feel a lot better once it was all said and done… and I was right (even if I didn’t believe it at the time). Now that’s something that I stand by right now: “once you start the journey up, you’ll never go back down”.

Talk again soon :)
- Ballistica

Going Ballistic

Going ballistic

So, I’ve had a lot of people (mainly my friends) who have had a lot of problems that they’ve talked to me about. Some of these I could help them with, but there were also some that I couldn’t do anything about. While I’m very grateful they were comfortable enough to talk to me about these things, I still felt a little bad that the only thing I could do was listen to them. I then realized that a lot of their problems were out of their control too. A lot of what their problems boiled down to was what other people were doing to them or how bad society treats people that have the same problems they do. I know that when it comes to issues you can’t control or solve, the only thing you can do it sit back and let it happen to you, which is definitely not fun to deal with. 

There’s another common theme whenever I talk to people or people come to talk to me, and that’s that the people talking always think that they’re being a burden when having to talk to somebody about their problems. This has also caused some people not talk to people about their problems because they don’t want to bother anybody. It’s really hard to hear that from somebody because that makes me think that they don’t think they’re worth saving, or they don’t deserve our attention. I really want to emphasize this: YOU ARE ALWAYS WORTH IT! It doesn’t matter who you are, what you’re going through, how much it hurts, or how long you’ve been dealing with it. 

The first step to recovering is talking to someone about your problems and letting your growth sprout from there. But you have to talk to someone, doesn’t matter who it is. It doesn’t matter how you get the message across, as long as someone knows what you’re going through. Talking to someone may not be easy at first, and that goes for the recovery process as a whole. It’s going to be rocky, and there’s going to be bumps in the road, but always know that someone will be there to help you get through it. This song is for anybody going through a difficult time because of something they can’t control, but it especially goes out to all my friends and family who have gone through their respective struggles. I’ll always be there with you and I love every single one of you.¬

Talk again soon :)
- Ballistica

Journey up

Ballistica

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