thank you so much to everyone involved in the process of making this album
here is tossing and turning
every track besides title track mixed by https://soundcloud.com/iamrellim
ARTWORK BY SHEAMUS CROWLEY LUV U BOO

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tossing and turning

https://soundcloud.com/prodreaper
vocals and live guitars written and performed by barren
live drums written and performed by alec doyle
produced by john dello at bridge east studios


been tossing and turing
since 
this morning
the same interruption
of my sleep
force my eyes 
to empty bed sheets 
open the drawer 
to get myself ready
steady

pacing back and forth
but I’ve already

been up for two days
i can’t keep my legs
straight
recurring dreams   
of dying slow
and all alone
inside this room
where i tell no 
one i go
im all alone
i drown myself
in thoughts of you
and i can’t never fucking
move
im paralyzed in shame
and regret 
and pitiful
apologizes 
I’m not sorry
i tried to be 
every fucking
thing i should have
never seen
its over we
can never be
anything
wasting life
wasting time
caught inside 
my own demise 
I’m just passing 20 
and death seems
to haunt me
i can feel it in my head
every second 
it tries to taunt me

tossing and turning (prod reaper x barren)

https://soundcloud.com/grimeygoyard
vocals mixed by rellim
TOSSING AND TURNING 2/28

yellow stains
blank screens
dont overthink
empty seats 
pipe dreams
follow me
twisted wires
dead batteries 
are you hearing this

all the shit that you say 
got me thinkin
fuck everyone who trynna keep me in
i voice myself loud
i say what i mean proud
got some news for you
so you better fucking 
stick around
hear me yelling
so god damn loud
but its time I’ve been heard
before my lungs 
make me drown

I’ve been dying 
on the inside
for so fucking long now
i don’t belong
i don’t feel strong
i dont wanna try
i don’t want to know

yellow stains (prod grimey)

i say i wanna take it 
one day at a time
how much longer can 
i tell myself the same lie
scared more than ill admit
for what my future holds
trying more than ever 
to break this mold
i want to be known
for what my music brings
not the image
behind the screen
am i doing the right thing
moving in the direction
that i should be 
in 5 years from now will i be happy
maybe if you ask 
for the rest of your life
you’ll feel something
i been sitting in this basement
every night for months
perfecting this craft
to take it on
the road 
perform some shows
get some bitches 
score some drugs
just the green shit
nothin else
i been sitting in this basement
practicing more than
ill admit
on the same old shit
you know the fucking story
but not the half of it
i been doing this for so long
feel like I’m gonna
fucking explode
before i can make it up
i just gotta make it up

will i ever get these feelings of doubt
away
do you know what all of this is about
today

decisions to make (prod deckwine)

vocals and live guitars written and performed by barren
live drums written and performed by alec doyle and
produced by john dello at bridge east studios

sitting by myself
I’m just passing the breeze
i got nothing left to show
so theres nothing to see
paint my picture perfect self while I’m
passing the time
need a miricale to happen
or ill be ready to hide 

then i make my way on through
you won’t see me coming
till its far past due
the shine i want
but don’t deserve
you could say
i got some nerve
to say its what
i could earn
to say its what
i deserve

crashing on the highway
blowing past i 95
i could give you
ten good reasons
to let it off
and say goodbye
but I’m thinking of these lyrics
as I’m ready to pull off to
the side
how could i do this now
when i got so much left
can’t cop some sort of check
when I’m six feet 
past its scent                    
i back off of the drugs
to let my mind regroup
can’t move on
past the stoop
the traction hasn’t
set
but theres plenty of fucking 
room

sitting by myself
I’m just passing the breeze
i got nothing left to show
so theres nothing to see
paint my picture perfect self while I’m
passing the time
need a miricale to happen
or ill be ready to hide 

can i just come by to say
how lovely you look today
you always took my breath away 
but lately its 
not the same
your real self
has shown
and there can be 
no other way
back home
i need the room
to grow
and prosper
on my own
how i always
say i will
but the effort
needs to be put in
if you want
to see things
through

then i make my way on through
you won’t see me coming
till its far past due
the shine i want
but don’t deserve
you could say
i got some nerve
to say its what
i could earn
to say its what
i deserve

make my way on through (prod rust x grimey x barren)

i got a job i can’t stand
off again
in another land
way off 
deep inside my head
wrote another ten lines
way behind
I’m slowly 
fading
from any form 
of the true world

standing in the 
way of myself
one step forward 
2 steps back
the words 
don’t help
relax
myself 
whats the fucking deal
with all the people
faking health
I’m breaking belts
dont trust a soul
ill rot in hell
temporary pleasure
changes as easy as
the pressure
in my joints from
the coming measures

am i working as hard
as i drive to see
should i try to keep up
exclusivity 
i can’t breathe
when I’m not releasing
everything 
keep my head on straight
with the one thing 
i want to be
can’t you see
its all for you
never me

wait it out (prod. grimey)

counting rings
under my eyes
waiting to drop this act
with my tail between
my legs and a target
on my back
all of this is practice
for my self worth is still in tact
following the footsteps 
in one i look up to best
taking influence from all
but becoming myself next
shake me from my sleep
so i cant ignore the fact 
my woes wont go and dissipate 
they wont let me fucking rest
i can only do my best
to make it how i want
and not let it all
get into my head
nobody wants to
see me high up
and want me lower
than i can atttest
i dont give a fuck about the others 
just the people who want 
whats in my interests

fucked up
off this 5th blunt
drown my sorrows
in this backwood
smoke so much
to forget you
oh how i wish
we could undo