Slenderman (Marble Hornets) VS Jean Jacket (NOPE)

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: pacific

Slenderman

Sky traveller. Don’t tread into my territory.
Fly in my forest, but you won’t wanna go lookin’ for me.
Search for more horror mortis, it sure ain’t in your boring story.
You see a balloon then pop, like your name was Gordy.

Slenderman’s the best internet trend. When sent and read, men wet the bed.
A gentleman presented dead in terms of sentiment and jest,
Said to be an eldritch element of the era,
While you think mid-air staring squarely at mares would stir up terror?

I’m a creepypasta, but you’re creepy fettuccine.
I got no eyes, yet you’re blind as hell. Just try to see me.
Though it makes sense they turn away when they’re viewin’ ya.
Don’t mind the suit, I’m just dressed for your funeral.

Jean Jacket

What’s this? Another meal to chomp on?
I guess I’m in the mood for shitty squid ink pasta.
Battle me, you best know that the mic is off
Though there’s no sound whenever this guy talks.

Yuh, let me stop the discussion like a still cloud.
You only kill crowds when your wiki page is filled out.
To get my picture, they gotta set up the GoPro shot.
To get your picture, they boot a session of Photoshop.

Eight pages? Try “Ate up by JJ”
I terrorized the Haywoods, you weren’t scary enough in your hayday
When you’re based off of H.P., I’m less scared of those tentacles,
Expectedly some spectre ain’t special to spar a spectacle.

Slenderman

This Hornet’s buzzing, let’s say you lost your Marble’s, yeah?
Looked upon, but only in shame, like you were Marvelled at.
Faded from naked eyes, so they need to take a picture first.
Yeah, I always win, like I was made by Victor Surge. 

Jean Jacket

There’s no denying I’m the flyest flying saucer
While you’re somehow proud to be the biggest thing from Something Awful?
Stanced up in every shot, like a Keyframe.
All the easier to feasibly whittle you a Peeled face.

Slenderman

Em and OJ really thought you’d get ‘em Oprah?
You’re a space alien, whose airtime’s been all choked up.
Jupe’s Claim screwed your fame, new game the two could play,
Dude named you untamed, who knew you were too raged to shake a toothache?

Two things to note, why call you a UFO?
Bet it stands for “You, Fuck Off.” Bro, it’s time to go.
‘Cause when it comes to NOPE, you sent the message clear,
A daytime horror will turn to night and disappear.

Jupe

Are you ready folks? What you’re about to witness
Is a world spread event known as the Slender Sickness!
But, uh… we heard no flows, just Sony offending victims…
So our next act is something that can…

Jean Jacket (True Form)

Measure the distance…

I am a being that is beyond your comprehension.
While people only ever cringe when your name is mentioned.
Do not fret this, you’re always someone that I pity, though.
‘Cause the only listeners you get come from clickbait videos.

Slenderman

With just my presence, I’m said to be the deadliest,
And I’m compared to this Biblically Accurate Jellyfish?
Ignored by the Oscars, we’re both things people can’t find.
But when it comes to attractions, I’m more wide known to mankind.

Jean Jacket (True Form)

The only time someone over the age 9 knows ya
Is when your stabbing’s cause a lot more than just paranoia.
You’re not worthy enough to be my prey, let alone competitor,
‘Cause stalking children doesn’t make you a real predator.

Slenderman VS Jean Jacket - Rap Battle

The demo track I recorded for Lofi Girl vs Cassette Girl.
Dated January 2023

Lofi Girl vs Cassette Girl - Eddie's Demo

Bitch, I’m a hamster
I’m a hamster
But that doesn’t mean I will dance for ya
I won’t dance for ya
I don’t mess with you, no chance, sir
There’s no chance, sir
This beat making me go ham, sir
I’m going ham, sir ‘cause I’m a hamster

I’m a hamster, yeah I’m teeny (yeah I’m teeny)
Not an elephant, dumbass, Cricetidae (what is that)
That’s my family (oh) there’s 19 species (species)
Which one would you want to keep? Uh, that’d be me
Ooh! Everyone can agree that I’m adorable
If you do not agree, then you are horrible
I just think you might be a little jealous, for real
I keep the world spinning when I run on my wheel
Uh, gimme a tube to drink my water out of
Uh, gimme a room that I can run around in
And by a room, I mean a cage, please!
But don’t contain these thoughts or I’ll go crazy!
I got 3 years to live, so I’mma make these days count
I’ll be chewing on wood and taking shits on the ground of my cage (ewww)
What? Did you expect me to know
How to handle a toilet? Well no, you fucking hoe
Packing so many bars inside these cheek pouches
Cooking these suckas up until they ham and cheese mouses
If you’re scared of hamsters, put on your Pampers
If you hate on hamsters, I hope you die of cancer

Bitch, I’m a hamster
But that doesn’t mean I will dance for ya
I won’t dance for ya
I don’t mess with you, no chance, sir
There’s no chance, sir
This beat making me go ham, sir
I’m going ham, sir
‘Cause I’m a motherfucking hamster
I’m a hamster
But that doesn’t mean I will dance for ya
I won’t dance for ya
I don’t mess with you, no chance, sir
There’s no chance, sir
This beat making me go ham, sir
I’m going ham, sir ‘cause I’m a hamster

i made the beat
zagranis made the mix
ultimate145, metalfireva, gamingplush64, chao, freshy kanal, swizkii, atronach's aura, mothmancha and zagranis made the eww sound

hamster rap.

Sweeney Todd Vs Patrick Bateman DEMO

Hey whaddaya know I release battles

Mancha (UBERocity) as Elder Kettle
Matt Raichous as Hopediah Plantar
Prod. by InsaneBeatz
Writing by Alchemyking
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by JK03
Special thanks: Raisu Battle, RNG, MetaMachine, Quizzique, Snakebite126

LYRICS:
Elder Kettle:
I thought my boys already beat some frogs in a standoff
Unless you’re their grandpa, but after an edge sand-off
This fight would end no different if I just went and slept in
It’s my radio against your cane; of course you’re getting poor reception
You’re a revolutionary icon, so it’s a pity
That despite your claims to “eat the rich”, you’re still a slave to Disney
I’ll leave your HP draining, as I go in for the kill
It’s fitting that this Farmer got screwed over by a Bill

Hop Pop:
Felicia’s equipment came to life to blow steam at me?
Well, call in King Andrias, ‘cause I’m about to spill the tea
How ‘bout you eat some veggies, not that sweet garbage you’re craving?
The last time your house had greens in it, it was a home invasion
Now, I’d be nicer, but Fleischer miser’s none the wiser
When I reverse the roles, spit fire on this baby in a diaper
We both have mashed up garbage in an effort to get rich,
But my dishonesty pales in comparison to what’s spat out by Netflix

Elder Kettle:
You’re talking to a vet, so in battles, I’m a sound ten
I can tell you’re green with envy, like you’re dipping in a fountain
I can see through all the flaws you fail at masking, so I’m asking
How’d you fail at that and rapping, when acting is your passion?
Werner’s no longer the biggest rat that I’ve smelled in a fair while
‘Cause you lie to your foster daughter, leaving split ends like your hairstyle
Hey, Hop Pop & Roll, make this another fight where you’ll run
You’re only top of the pecking order when the herons come

Hop Pop:
I’m an old one, but still ripe, while you’re bursting at the seams
Lookin’ to best me with those Peashooters? Forget the ding-dang dream!
You’re a musty, rusting bucket; bustin’ you shouldn’t be that hard
I just buried a box; your boys try to bury you in the yard!
I own a snail that moves faster than you; you’re bound for the grave
Yet you still torment your children, leaving them going “I don’t feel safe!”
I’ll go back to my avocados, which leave my fame blooming, so
Why don’t you mortgage your house, just like your parent studio?

Elder Kettle vs. Hop Pop - Disney Rap Battles

Lakitu vs. Thundurus - Mario vs. Anything Shorts!


Ennway As Lakitu 


MetaMachine As Thundurus


Mixed by Nooby


Mixing assistance from Micheal Stark


Cover art by Box Soldier


Beat prod. Anywaywell 


Lakitu:

Yo I’m Lakitu, the enemy who’s here to mess with you

The bars I drop are solid gold like this is NSMB2

With your horrid failures you think your a force of nature

But competitive just sees you as a support for later


You act like you’re defiant but nobody’s reliant

On this prankster who keeps whining bout why no one wants to try him

With a therian forme as ugly as that anal bead thats glued to ya

Even landorus overshadows you, makes sense that he’s immune to ya


Thundurus:

I would always accept a challenge to ravage through a Lakitu

But not just him, demolish all of Bowser "powerful" lackeys too

Even in odyssey, you’re just fishing for disses 

Yeah, your Bowser’s minion, looking like a lousy minion!


I’m a stark hater of this bargain bin Mario kart racer

So I’m, hijacking your cloud, that’s just the harsh nature

Of the life of this cameraman, and though he has some shells tossed

You pull up others who ran off the track, but you’re the one who fell off



Lakitu vs. Thunderus - Mario vs. Anything Shorts!

(0:14) Weirdcore:
Are you alone? (*knock knock*) Do you hear the knocking?
Seems I’ve found the house of the Insane Clown Posse
Who waste their time and money to embody circus freaks
And I'll strike down like Nintendo for using Pikmin OSTs

How you fools maintain a smile’s truly a puzzlement
Got too many mental issues for a single clown to juggle it
Balloons are the only blowing up from this Tik-Tok trend
While we have our eyes everywhere… except for on your content

(0:41) Clowncore:
Oh goodness, how tragic is this sad fabric fad’s rapping,
But with that mushroom fixation, makes sense that you’d be capping!
I’m the fungi here, you’re shrouded in darkness like your filters
You only stole the show because you popped the ‘pill’ in ‘pilfer’! (Hoho!)

I exist to bring smiles, but can't tell if you're chucklin'
When you cover that mug like your parents do when you're in public!
Your mind is stuck in empty fields ‘cause you only grow sad
But I could just find the remote and shut you up, tally-hoes mad!

(1:08) Weirdcore:
Caking your unsightly face in paint layers so thick
Yet with all those cosmetics you still couldn’t make-up a diss
You prey on kids, can't evade this when you can't dodge accusations
Tack on a seizure warning for the police lights that are chasin'

I’ll cut out some (paper dolls!) after you’re skinned alive,
How ironic (Ronald McDonald!)’s the one who’s getting fried
But here’s a solution for all the (Trouble!) you’ve been feeling:
Make like a (Worm on a String!) and hang yourself from the ceiling

(1:36) Clowncore:
Audiences stay invested with my discography so splendid! 
And while I rock suspenders, your fans’ accounts get suspended! (Hohoho!)
Clowncore’s the IT factor, spend pennies wise to stay jolly
Fitting these surrealist tick-tockers are addicted to buying dollies (Dalis)!

Thanks for visiting our fun house, but now your luck has run out
Call me Geiru Tornado with how fast I’ve brought this bum down
You should have teamed with Dreamcore, ‘cause it’s nightmares I’m supplying
Now it’s bedtime for this Gremlin, so go to your room and cry, bitch!

Alex M. and Azia as Weirdcore
BirdJormungandr as Clowncore
Written by Nugget, Raisu Battle, Awesome Ayden, BirdJormungandr, ForgottenSon
Additional Writing by Jacobrl99
Beat by Call me Brian 
Mixed by Trakked
Edited by Raisu Battle


Everyone subscribe to Raisu. He is the goat!

Thumbnail by Grasman

clowncore vs weirdcore 2 (Ft Alex M, BirdJormungandr, and Azia)

Trump:
Yo it's Donald Trump coming out my Trump Towers
Bout to show this bitch a sampler of my Trump Power
I don't need my "Politics Beam" to tell you're gonna lose g
Biden may be woke, but your ass is fruity!
This third grade nerd's earned a diss track, punk
Your burns are so bad I turned into pickle trump!
Your series is so bad (believe me) everyone can tell
Shadow wizard money gang! We love casting spells!

Dilly:
Damn, trump, those fucking lines were just the worst 
I'm glad you went before me, after all it's ladies first 
You got mike pence, a condom, and pencil in your purse 
Call me covid 2.0. This bitch ass gon need a nurse 
(Ay ay) lay off the spray tan you lookin like a cheez it 
(Ay ay) heard you wrote a book, i prolly will not read it 
You call me fruity, bitch your verse was a fruit’s ballad 
I'm shitting on this track like you did to mail in ballots 

Trump:
That verse was sick... like COVID. It's not true!
You think you'll win? So wrong. Not you!
No truth was spilled. I will not fall!
When I take your crew and I KILL THEM ALL!!!
Okay so this next line was gonna be about 9/11 but I figured it might alienate my voter base and be a bit insensitive
Mostly alienate my voter base
I don't Obama-care about the rhymes you spat
Anyways, wanna go play Minecraft?

Dilly:
No i will not play minecraft with a fuckin racist g 
I prefer running up bridge when dan is there to carry me 
You make walls cause youre a short lil bitch with small fingers 
I make walls when logged on fortnite, im a raw builder 
I'm not feeling hearing or fearing you im a point taker 
You sound like a mix of casey and a fuckin voice changer 
I'm the creepypasta of the most and now this cunts bloody 
Here's ten dollars for your loss and don't use it as hush money

Dilly vs Donald Trump. FRB In True

SNL Cast Member

man who hangs from cables vs a "man" of cables who hangs

Beat Produced by Dansonn
Badger as Ennard
Grasman as Houdini
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCa5duWXbjb5P5qWQYpDWZPQ
Mixed by Grasman

Ennard 
We don’t recognize you… It’s Mr. Houdini, right?
Like the hype around your props…. You will die
Who let you cook with that bowtie? That suit’s shoddy
Ask your wife… a little of me is in EVERY BODY
Your best trick was a fake son? Did he join your dad in getting milk too?
Hang from cables? If your able swap ‘em with a noose *vine boom*
We would’ve stuffed Houdini in the Scooping Room
But this loser’s body to me? It’s useless, dude
You crawl into spaces that your talent fits in?
I make skin crawl when crawling into skin, stealin’ it like this win
Harry’s better off facing off against the Nightmares..
As the both of you get soloed by little kids!
I’m a monster among the streets and in the sheets
Like eyeliner you get overshadowed when compared to me
I never understood why people do what they do
We’ve stolen an identity but didn’t know that you’ve done that too!

Houdini
Come on, come all! Watch me do a trick!
Watch me spit a diss, to this mangled bitch!
Who looks like a kid drew his favorite dish 
And drew a goofy clown mask on top of it!
It’s Ennard, a nerd, who’s terrible with words 
No canonical voice, how could you spit in a verse?
I’m risking my life, every time I’m on the stage’s light 
When you’re on, I’m only risking my eyes!
I’d do anything for my two sweeties, like droppin’ the mic!
The only bitches that you’ll ever get inside of is Mike!
I'm pulling rabbits outta’ hats, you’re pulling gamers out of fnaf 
I’d say your not fire, but you ought a be good at that
Lookin’ like the cables holding my ankles
Went from being in shambles
 to in your final appearance, still well, being in shambles
One of a kind, pyrotechnics and FX, man 
I’m burning you down, call me the cassette man

Arlene Grasman's Album

BDGR Bites! - Ennard vs. Harry Houdini (Feat. Grasman)

JustGamer as Gamestop
Fightmarker as Blockbuster
thumbnail stills from Target vs Walmart By Gridline Studios

Gamestop
Welcome to Gamestop, how can I assist you?
Declining sales? Well here that’s not an issue!
How about I interest you in a subscription, dawg?
Oh, I forgot that’s how your company was finished off

Rising up like my stocks, fucked over Wall Street
Pre-orders, trade-ins, gaming merch, that’s all me!
Your bitch ass got no customers and no hoes
Now I’m ‘bout to leave you red and black like my logo

Blockbuster
Take whatever this was, and put it back yo
Only damaged goods we take are my cracked flows
Brought Power to your Pockets, but Players? Nah bro
Pushing all that used shit; Grand Thrift Auto 

What you get from Blockbuster is a quick transaction 
You annoy customers ‘til their eyes bags are sagging 
Want a pre-order? No. A Gameinformer? No
By the time they were done, dude, the store already closed 

Gamestop
Hey so uh, I’d like to rent a better rapper
Shouldn’t have waited for the midnight release of that verse
I’ll give you 4 bucks for that, sucks you can’t blockbust a rap
This time it looks like you chose to bomb on a track

Blockbuster
Filled your store with POPs and other joyless stuff
I thought this was GameStop, not Toys R Us
Yea I’m still here, bitch, untouchable
I Blockbusted in your mom (non refundable)

BDGR Bites! - Ennard vs. Harry Houdini (Feat. Grasman)

BDGR

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