1st @strivemusicau | 2nd @kuriositylol | 3rd @noxious-nights | 4th @autumndropsdead | 5th @user-411557229 |

(strivesad.)
yeah i won't play nice
am i doing this right
i'll confine
in my sadness tonight
and i'll never say goodbye
to torture my mind
turn this darkness to light
gotta fight for my life (ooh)

(kuriosity)
lately ive been nauseous
cant eat right
ive been throwing up
smoke a L so i can eat
i put my feelings in the trunk
smoke till i cant see
drink till im throwin up
what am i waiting for
no im not blowing up
cheap liquor i put it on ice 
if it aint me u aint doin it right
lil bitch why u switchin up sides
lil bitch why u switchin up sides
fuck u ion play it nice 
fuck u ion play it nice
fuck u 
fuck u 
fuck u ion play it nice 

(noxiousnights)
i just took a break from that drink and that weed
i'm sober as fuck and i'm so fucking exhausted
working on my health, i was killin myself
had to throw away all the pills on my shelf
but i don't give a fuck, i could die tomorrow
they would run over my body if it was on the road
heart like stone and broken like my phone
i'm left in the cold and it's freezing my bones

(autumndropsdead)
can’t correlate with my head 
even though i try 
i don’t feel any better yet
so i sulk instead, life’s on the line
never knew where my shelter is
but we never knew what we started
people talk, but i choose not to worry us
at least i go all in, fuck your polish 
you ain’t gonna make me trust

(residential.)
wasting time
wasting shit
i been in my head
blew a stack
cause i can
now the beamer red
talking less
to my friends
now im in my bed
where the fuck
do you go
when your better dead
smoking gasoline under evergreen bleeding
sold your daughter green now she on my screen feening
never showing up
i been in my room leaning
i think i enjoy when my fingers lose feeling

Darkness 2 Light w/ autumndropsdead, residential, kuriosity, strivesad & noxiousnights [+ sogimura]

track 3 
n i’ve never felt as low as this
when u told me that u hate me
i died a bit 
now the sun feels so cold on my skin 
and nothing tastes the same, again, you win

 
yea and i cry every night when i go to sleep
i don’t wanna fight anymore please just bury me 
you’re the one i like
despite what u said to me 
i’m high as a kite 
off this mud
keep on tellin me 
that i should get help 
but u never been a friend 
so please don’t sit and cry
fake tears on my bed 
u the one that tried to help me til the end
why the fuck i need a therapist when i got u instead?

*inhale*
*exhale*
it’s as easy as that
*inhale*
*exhale*

just breathe it’s as easy at that 
as easy as that 
so i just breathe when this bitch get me mad
grayfox the king i be here til i’m dead 
had a slow year think my shit about to fall off
but i’m still here with this blood on my hands
shoutout to tropic, as easy as that
shoutout to loveless, as easy as that 
run thru the street when i’m off of my meds
but i’ll still be right here while these boys follow trends
3 playlists 1 week i’m scheming again 
people can hate but ain’t bled what i bled 
i’ve seen the fall when ur stood on the edge cus i’ve seen my own mum in a hospital bed
i’m way too high so go argue with them
got my whole life in the palm of my hands
make a no hook and then go right to bed
and u can sendflowrs when im laid to rest

just breathe, it’s as easy as that (mackk)

produced by caves.

metallic taste in my mouth
bloodshot eyes and im out
i dont know my route
i dont know my route
i dont know my route..
live, endeavor
☆
old news that i already know
pissed off and i cant get old
what do i have to say?
(could i ever?)
(could i ever?)
(one missed call)
(two missed calls)
☆
and who am i right now..?
MY BODYS TELLING ME 
SOMETHING
SOMETHING
SOMETHING
RIGHT NOW
"I NEED TO GET OUT, NEED TO GET AWAY"
to find contrast
in my life
or all this will be nothing
(nothing)
yeah, it'll be nothing.
☆
IM EITHER FIGHTING OR BREAKING
IM EITHER FIGHTING OR BREAKING
FOR ALL MY LIFE
I SCRAPE ANY HOPE
OFF MY BEDROOM FLOOR
and if i cannot find it,
I'LL LEAVE ANYWAY
☆
a hurricanes coming thru and
it kinda reminds me of you
kinda reminds me of you..
have you ever, have you ever,
been alone like that?
and all this time i finally need to matter

live, endeavor.

ly caspy <33

lyrics:

waking up the same as u left me
pillies to the brain, i got plenty
tell me run away in the bentley
take away the pain that u fed me

im in the function
n i cannot function 
lung combusting
repercussion
u on sum fuck shit
playing me, percussion
~death wish~
blood gon drip my neck like issa necklace
name on top my wrist, look like a setlist
wake up, bake the bowl, this shit not even breakfast
eating breakfast
i be on my dread shit
blood gon drip my neck like issa necklace
name on top my wrist, look like my setlist

{casperrr}
i tried to run
but i an't fast
tried to fight 
but i knew i wouldn't last
these feelings
kicked my ass
but there's no way
i am ever going back 
wake up
drag myself outta bed again
face up
tryna face my oldest fucking friend
sadness
i think this is the end
timeless
im afraid i have no time left 

putting all my songs on her playlist
goth bitch
stare me in me eyes and
she looks flawless
falling 
deep into a faucet
i ain't notice
wore my heart on my sleeve
until you came and u broke it

{shizukesa + casperrr}
waking up the same as u left me
pillies to the brain, i got plenty
tell me run away in the bentley
take away the pain that u fed me

follow spotify!

death_wish w/ casperrr (yung rospo)

srry i've been gone. been rlly FUCKED up :(

lyrics:

let me go
take me home
thru this pain
solely i know
take me home
take me home
to a place
i might know

you call me cause you can't sleep
and i can hear your breathing
it's a lustful temptation my body abrasive i'm reading your thoughts right now
i can tell what you're thinking bout
i'll give in with acceptance of another round
i feel out of place with my mind in this state
it's a feeling i hate but her touch turns me on right now

let me go
take me home
thru this pain
solely i know
take me home
take me home
to a place
i might know

fw0b (thersx)

music video
---------------
https://youtu.be/w9Jfkvx8xbY
.
prod. beamerboy
..............................
lyrics_
------------------------
hates the only way to get through
yeah i say this quite a lot, but i cant even make a move
take a second, wait to breathe
hold, on patient 23
my anxiety was never this bad, it only seems
when i sit, and think about my future, always running free

death was creeping on to me
in my mind,, i could never say what's right
i keep pushing on the knife, let me be, let me breath
disassociate with me
climbing high, cause i cant see
where am i suppose  , to be
hate just keeps waiting, on me

hates the only way to get through
yeah i say this quite a lot, but i cant even make a move
take a second, wait to breathe
hold on patient 23
my anxiety was never this bad, it only seems
when I sit, and think about my future, always running free

you were pushing on to me
always sexualizing me
always mess a making me
just come decimate me please

patient 23

produced by: @everythingmackk


and my heart rate 
it slows down
used to talk alot
guess i’m on my own now
and i beg you 
to come round
she don’t talk to me
she’d much rather go out
and you’re a liar
cold, no fire
all the rubies in the world couldn’t buy her
i can’t find her
so i retire 
and im bound by these ropes
but couldn’t tie her 

and i broke loose
for you <3 
all the shit i did, 
i swear i had to do
split me in two
and i’ll play the fool
as long as u pick up 
when im calling you 

and i swear i would do about anything u asked 
what u want
we can hit the town and try to make it back
i’m so drunk ! 
she pulls me closer says there’s something i gotta ask
i said go, 
you can tell me girl i promise i wont laugh
she said 
“boy i think i’m falling for you,
don’t think i can mask
things i feel any longer
so please ask what u gotta ask”
i was shocked,
now my heart was pulsing, felt it in my hands
was this real?
or am i dreaming 
either way, i’m gonna stay right here 

and my heart rate 
it slows down
used to talk alot
guess i’m on my own now
and i beg you 
to come round
she don’t talk to me
she’d much rather go out
and you’re a liar
cold, no fire
all the rubies in the world couldn’t buy her
i can’t find her
so i retire 
and im bound by these ropes
but couldn’t tie her

to those before, and to those after (mackk)

【﻿ｎｕｍｂ　ｍｙ　ｔａｓｔｅ　ａｎｄ　ｆｅｅｄ　ｍｅ　ｔｒｕｔｈ】

thank you for listening. i really, really appreciate it.

produced by @prod_death 🖤
hope you enjoy.


walking with grace 
behind closed curtains
and i know that pain
finding out they're not the same
it's just not the same.

i feel like i can touch hades
but the thought of you's the only thing that's kept me saving
from all the bloodshed
i take it all in
i let that deep breath
enter my skin
i haven't felt formaldehyde in a while
it's become so difficult to work up a smile
hit me back if i'm worth every mile
i used to believe what i wanted was peace
but when i open my mouth i feel like a mime

fuck that
i'm ripping the tape off of my face
but don't look at the paste please :(
i wake up and i'm already shaking
there's only so much i can take in
loss of dexterity causes corrosion
i missed every note that i needed the most
don't open their heart till' you've opened your own

the truth (i'm boutta fall through)
i guess you never really knew me (knew me)
that's why i never get through (give a fuck abt you)
it's connection we're losing (losing)
i'll reach my hands through the screen
till i see the spark's out
they're starin' at me; said
"you should be star-bound"
take in the scene
and don't you forget it
the ocean'll sink (sink)
just cause i let it
(let it)

is there even a deeper meaning?
i study her every pattern
i ache then break but they don't seem to take it as a heavy matter
and that's hefty ladder that i'm probably gonna climb forever
and if she goes i let her
and if she goes i let-

kay, i've opened the shades
i thought it was grace, i guess that it's hate
fool me once and take my change
no wonder why i feel the same
fool me twice; i'll start anew
my misfortune falls right back to you
the scent of colors fill my room
to numb my taste and feed me truth

(truth)(4x)
i don't know what does it mean to you..
what do i mean to you? (you-you)
what do i mean to you
you-you-you-you

i feel like i can touch hades
but the thought of you's the only thing that's kept me saving
from all the bloodshed
i take it all in
i let that deep breath
enter my skin
i haven't felt formaldehyde in a while
it's become so difficult to work up a smile
hit me back if i'm worth every mile
i used to believe what i wanted was peace
but when i open my mouth i feel like a mime

i feel like a mime (4x)
(i feel like a mime...)
(am i wasting my time?)

feed me truth [prod. death]

produced by twobox
referenced a sendflowrs line

completely non profit

lyrics

swearing that i came outta nowhere
i just think ur pretty so i stare
u got a little sumn in ur hair
keep that between u in me
i think thats just fair

so
i just left a stain on her skirt
in public bathrooms
i just run my fingers thru dirt
before i cap u
only met in person on 3rd n
she bring the wap dude
shawty good to fuck in the park
i got a damn room
bed too
i got a backyard with a nice view
im just tryna feel myself rn before i pass u
im cracked dude
i love a shawty with an attitude
i just need someone to call me on my bs
can i count on u?

alright so 7g last me like 3 days
and at least when i was younger
i could find some ways
to leave the safety of my home
without an eye glaze
theres an ounce on the table:
crushed; fuck it, we blaze

i just got a text
theres medical w my name on it
i'll just let u know 
the second that i can pay for it
i just hit my reup on friday
so thats a shame n shit
im just here to ruin ur day
i hope i savour it

air inside the venue feeling like a foreign atmosphere
3 piece suit from politix im sweating out the m i did
someone call an uber someone get me fuckin out of here
cus every time i leave the house i end up wishing i never did
never did
ask me where its at i tell u LL on krink n shit
trust me when i say that we gon be here thru the thick of it

this beat keeps fucking changing man

(yuh)
(shee)
she say she a freak
bitch u dont got shit on me
i could make u bleed
hope u do the same to me
this freakish beauty on display
i swear this shit just make me weak
every time she try to pay i tell her
nono thats on me

half price 
know my face each time i walk in
top class
shawty an 8
im fuckin balling
i just put my phone on airplane mode
when we was talking
i just think its better if we focus on the moment

backflip off da roof (twobox)

introduction
prod/ft my good friend @greenwood2000
<3

lyrics:
something was stolen
something i borrowed
must’ve been open
must’ve been hollow
& open progression
is nothing but awful
i trample my thoughts
till they’re tougher to swallow

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

greenwood:
I put some distance out into the worlds
And I never trip about the way that it hurts
And I think they buried me deep in the dirt
But trust me, and trust me it still could get worse

Seventeen years in a hospital bed 
And they treat me different I know what it is
And it'd take a year to explain what it did
When I got a phantom inside of my limbs

Closed down, held over
And I found the worst way to tell you
And I couldn't leave but I'd let you
And tell me you think I'll be dead soon

Held down, I'm closer
And I found the best way to end it
And I didn't sleep just pretended
And fucked up my life like your friends said

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
(cant take back what i said, 
im the one you can blame)
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
(not the man in your heart,
he had went with the pain)
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
(its a pattern i keep,
wish i’d throw it away)
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
(i know its too late)
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

learning to lose

learning to lose w/ greenwood

spotify & apple music!

ｎｏ　ａｉｒ，　ｂｕｔ　ｓｏｍｅｈｏｗ　ｉ　ｂｒｅａｔｈｅ　ｔｈｒｏｕｇｈ

prod by my guy @solofttt
fucking love you all.
more on the way
stay strong
take care; drink water
try to get some rest.
thank you for being here

too much
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways

that's the price that i'll pay
not to be overcome by my emotions
a hallow frame, left to be hung on it's own
where nobody'll noticed it's changed
feel that pain of your confusion
and just turn it into music
orchestrations of my patience
retrospective-made illusions

just be cautious not to lose it
'cause some bitch said something stupid
trust me, god i know it hurts
but know your worth and keep on moving
somewhere in the sky
just go outside and raise your head
there's reclusive ways to cleanse yourself
without this constant dread
but this toxin's running deeper
i don't know how long i'll last
i misplaced my faith with hatred
as i'm staring down the glass
i ain't hitting you up like i know you (but i do)
but i'm up a few notches, i'll understand
'cause the past, it haunts you (it does)
i try to reach out, but i got ghost hands

felt too much
now i don't feel enough
felt too much
i may have dove a little deep in the ocean
for my lungs,
couldn't handle the pressure that they had been holding
y'all folding, but i'm focused
honestly i feel omnipotent
only when i get my hands on the potion
or i'm broken, i'm not joking
but maybe if i break daylight, then i'll get shit done
and i'll feel alright
with a tone so stale there was no real cry
on a blood-stained trail, we still bleed overnight
fuck, i bet that you feel it again
incisions embellish your skin
and now you're all alone again
deprived of the people you thought were your friends
i made a couple calls, did they go through?
it ain't fair, i really don't wanna miss you
take care, i'll be blowing on tissues
no air, but, somehow i breathe through
it's 4 in the morning, my guardian's snoring
i'm sorry i lied, i've been sippin away
i'd make me some porridge, but puke it by morning
the cycle is horrid, but i ain't complain

indefinite pain ain't just part of my day
it's been shrouding my brain
like a vulturous gate
this shit's an escape
i'm always afraid
of being locked out of my own mental state
try not to run away just yet, i feel you
breaching my skin, for the meantime

too much 
i don't wanna feel too much
(like what?)
beat up; feet are clamped in the mud
no one
fuck this damper wood i'm hunching over every day
you shouldn't feed me love 'cause i'll regurgitate it anyways
(anyways)

woodworks [prod. soloft]

(mostly) songs i wrote about a girl i no longer know

backflip off da roof (twobox)

betweentheveinsandi

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