prologue 

produced by ztope
completely non profit

lyrics

i feel the ache in my legs
im walking my way home
lights are dancing on the road tonight
while i hear a tone
i say my niceties 
i love u bye ill see u soon
i round the corner 
i see red lights shes in my view
shes right on top of the bridge
like right infront of the moon
with midnight hair 
in a black dress 
in this foggy hue
i saw the bus a fraction late
as it came speeding thru
i clip the guard n go crashing 
down into waters blue

bridge str. incident (ztope)

track 3 
n i’ve never felt as low as this
when u told me that u hate me
i died a bit 
now the sun feels so cold on my skin 
and nothing tastes the same, again, you win

 
yea and i cry every night when i go to sleep
i don’t wanna fight anymore please just bury me 
you’re the one i like
despite what u said to me 
i’m high as a kite 
off this mud
keep on tellin me 
that i should get help 
but u never been a friend 
so please don’t sit and cry
fake tears on my bed 
u the one that tried to help me til the end
why the fuck i need a therapist when i got u instead?

*inhale*
*exhale*
it’s as easy as that
*inhale*
*exhale*

just breathe it’s as easy at that 
as easy as that 
so i just breathe when this bitch get me mad
grayfox the king i be here til i’m dead 
had a slow year think my shit about to fall off
but i’m still here with this blood on my hands
shoutout to tropic, as easy as that
shoutout to loveless, as easy as that 
run thru the street when i’m off of my meds
but i’ll still be right here while these boys follow trends
3 playlists 1 week i’m scheming again 
people can hate but ain’t bled what i bled 
i’ve seen the fall when ur stood on the edge cus i’ve seen my own mum in a hospital bed
i’m way too high so go argue with them
got my whole life in the palm of my hands
make a no hook and then go right to bed
and u can sendflowrs when im laid to rest

just breathe, it’s as easy as that (mackk)

everybody is saying dumb shit all the time
and my body is getting numb every night 
and the pills that i take oh they kill me inside 
but im addicted to em i can't even lie 
everybody is saying dumb shit all the time
and my body is getting numb every night 
and the pills that i take oh they kill me inside 
but im addicted to em i can't even-

walk straight 
be okay 
can't breathe
beat my cheast like an ape 
nobody cares about love nowadays
nobody wants to stay home feel safe
i've been locked in my room for days
can't leave cuz im sick n thats ok
but no1 called me to check on my pain
nobody called me to check on my brain 

breakdown, breakdown, breakdown again
i'm fucked up fucked up fucked up in the head 
i live like every1 else is dead 
i'm done, so done, fucking done with this mess

everybody is saying dumb shit all the time
and my body is getting numb every night 
and the pills that i take oh they kill me inside 
but im addicted to em i can't even-

so as long as im breathing
ill keep on walkin this path
with the souls who deceived me 
but gave me feet to feel the grass
always alone but still with company
spread only love but fight angrily
knowing who watches over me 
i'll always be safe, surely

evrybody's saying dumb shit (hero&emptychest)

produced by caves.

metallic taste in my mouth
bloodshot eyes and im out
i dont know my route
i dont know my route
i dont know my route..
live, endeavor
☆
old news that i already know
pissed off and i cant get old
what do i have to say?
(could i ever?)
(could i ever?)
(one missed call)
(two missed calls)
☆
and who am i right now..?
MY BODYS TELLING ME 
SOMETHING
SOMETHING
SOMETHING
RIGHT NOW
"I NEED TO GET OUT, NEED TO GET AWAY"
to find contrast
in my life
or all this will be nothing
(nothing)
yeah, it'll be nothing.
☆
IM EITHER FIGHTING OR BREAKING
IM EITHER FIGHTING OR BREAKING
FOR ALL MY LIFE
I SCRAPE ANY HOPE
OFF MY BEDROOM FLOOR
and if i cannot find it,
I'LL LEAVE ANYWAY
☆
a hurricanes coming thru and
it kinda reminds me of you
kinda reminds me of you..
have you ever, have you ever,
been alone like that?
and all this time i finally need to matter

live, endeavor.

music video
---------------
https://youtu.be/w9Jfkvx8xbY
.
prod. beamerboy
..............................
lyrics_
------------------------
hates the only way to get through
yeah i say this quite a lot, but i cant even make a move
take a second, wait to breathe
hold, on patient 23
my anxiety was never this bad, it only seems
when i sit, and think about my future, always running free

death was creeping on to me
in my mind,, i could never say what's right
i keep pushing on the knife, let me be, let me breath
disassociate with me
climbing high, cause i cant see
where am i suppose  , to be
hate just keeps waiting, on me

hates the only way to get through
yeah i say this quite a lot, but i cant even make a move
take a second, wait to breathe
hold on patient 23
my anxiety was never this bad, it only seems
when I sit, and think about my future, always running free

you were pushing on to me
always sexualizing me
always mess a making me
just come decimate me please

patient 23

[+ Tosha]

1st - @user-411557229 
2nd - @northshoremusic 
3rd - @emptychest 
4th - @torvamia 
5th - @strivemusicau 
6th - @caspywaspy 
7th - @soulfadexo 
8th - @x1fern 
9th - @noxious-nights 
10th - @navyxower 
11th - @shizukesaaa 
12th - @hoeplessboy

Holding Onto Something [+ Tosha x Kev]

introduction
prod/ft my good friend @greenwood2000
<3

lyrics:
something was stolen
something i borrowed
must’ve been open
must’ve been hollow
& open progression
is nothing but awful
i trample my thoughts
till they’re tougher to swallow

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

greenwood:
I put some distance out into the worlds
And I never trip about the way that it hurts
And I think they buried me deep in the dirt
But trust me, and trust me it still could get worse

Seventeen years in a hospital bed 
And they treat me different I know what it is
And it'd take a year to explain what it did
When I got a phantom inside of my limbs

Closed down, held over
And I found the worst way to tell you
And I couldn't leave but I'd let you
And tell me you think I'll be dead soon

Held down, I'm closer
And I found the best way to end it
And I didn't sleep just pretended
And fucked up my life like your friends said

its passion that kills you,
the nerve’s gonna drive you insane
(cant take back what i said, 
im the one you can blame)
i can’t stand to look back
when the only thing there is your name
(not the man in your heart,
he had went with the pain)
i took this as a loss
when i should’ve been counting the days
(its a pattern i keep,
wish i’d throw it away)
its a wish on a star
you’re the one thing that’s keeping me sane
(i know its too late)
i’m losing this game
when you’re learning to lose
well, the world isn’t spinning the same

learning to lose

learning to lose w/ greenwood

spotify & apple music!

[AMV]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNv4eGItpyg 
produced by @nate2timezz & i
thank you endlessly for listening.
more to come in time
🖤

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
they scream, "don't.. go"
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you just missed it

i'm losing my grip on reality
i need some help or just someone around me
not a physical family
the moment feelings all erupt
they can't handle your trust
guess i was too much of a burden from the cut
but don't let yourself go and doubt on me
the ocean is howling
that's my kind of outing
you don't know the hurt that it brings
can't focus, can't breathe
i love you, but you know what i think?

i'm way too detached
you don't got my back
been tryna distract
"that boy's such a drag"
i lay in my bed; think things never meant
her hand; never leant
where have you been, love

that girl made me feel like i didn't wanna suffer
validated all my reasons
and then continued to smother
cards all on the table
the table's brittle as fuck
cause you leave with no intentions of hurting me
that's enough-

if what you say is what you mean
then fall back onto me
i'll swallow up your misery
i don't care what it brings
i'll be your puppet with no strings
just show me that i have meaning
like a matter, or a purpose
just a reason that i'm breathing
i've been wishing on the stars since a kid
they're where my arms don't reach
but my eyes look past them
the scars make a pretty constellation
they connect all i see
but at the end of the day, they still look past it

you gotta hope it lasts
you're holding yourself back
if you're falling, your wings' cracked
you gotta snap em back
and when the sky becomes the ceiling,
i'll throw rocks to make it crash
oh, don't look back (2x)

through and through
every time i break down my own recluse
just because i thought they understood me too
from my point of view
they never do (2x)

they say, "you're not alone"
but i'm weighing myself down to the bone
i'm deprived of your voice, your expressions, your tones
you've never known
but i guess you didn't listen
i hope that you dismissed it.

everlast [prod. nate2timez x autumndropsdead]

new cover w the brother @betweentheveinsandi
produced by @nevrfall
=================
original by @sewerperson:
https://soundcloud.com/sewerperson/lrt-nevrfall
=================
hope u enjoy <3

LR7 w/ betweentheveinsandi (cover) [nevrfall]

i’ve been meaning to call you 
to tell you everything i said 
but i’m feeling so blind 
and you’re out of your mind 
so it’s best that i leave it 

didn’t mean to fall for you 
you let me go when i was on the edge 
and this waters so cold
i won’t pick up my phone 
when you call, i wont see it 

and i hate this weather 
i just wish it was spring again 
when things were okay
i was off of my meds
and the world had gone crazy 

we just stayed in all day 
and i let you tattoo my hands 
now i can’t look at them 
a pair of black gloves 
heal my wounds, and i hate me 

and i’ll be 
right here 
anything you want you got it 
i’ll be right there 
youre toxic 
it’s not fair 
and the trees outside my house 
are now stripped bare 

i miss spring 
you’re not here
everything’s so temporary 
and its not fair 

your smiles sweet 
i love your hair 
and the smell of your clothes in my room 
it still lives here

spring. (+ pekarot)

Powers Like Austin (Prod. Santone & Rochambeau & Yateski)

(mostly) songs i wrote about a girl i no longer know

bridge str. incident (ztope)

betweentheveinsandi

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