Black Iris

There are those who read the weather
Looking for signs and omens
Cold is seeping through the floor
Stalking me (especially my feet)

I am the cavalry
No one's riding to save me
I'm the adult now
There's no one coming to rescue me

Threw myself into a prism
To show myself in another light
I don't need to be the first or the best
As long as I'm ok...

I am the cavalry
No one's riding to save me
I'm the adult now
No one's coming to rescue me

No One's Coming

I have a calendar that's full of empty space
A hot shower fits me better than any clothes I own
Habit is the enemy of my deliberate thought
Caught in the struggle between memory and expectation
da da da da da da
da da da da da da

I know
that I'm just
an ordinary guy
Facing all the things
that everybody faces every day
Every day

I did not sleep alone for most of 40 years
And now I only sleep (when I sleep)
alone and lonely each and every night, it's not right

Now 40 years of family noise has faded away
I can hear the tick tock of my digital clock
I know every house noise and its source
Especially in the dark...

I know
that I'm just
an ordinary guy
Facing all the things
that everybody faces every day
Every day
credits

Every Day V2

Just a couple of years ago
We all agreed on basic facts
Science had respect
People weren't so easily confused
We've backslid 50 years
Nowhere is agreement any more

Threat of murder on 5th Avenue
Can't tell now
what's up or down
In or out
Murder on 5th Avenue 
I don't know what's right or wrong any more


You're in til you're out
Day is night
Up is down
You are til you're not
happy or sad
The world is a thousand shades of gray

Murder on 5th Avenue
Can't tell now
what's up or down
In or out
Murder on 5th Avenue 
I don't know what's right or wrong any more

Murder On 5th Ave

I think I just fell into a hole
And I can't find my way out
The reason I'm hurting is I'm still existing
Not looking to die, I just don't care to live

Some days I just want to go home
But there is no home, no place where I belong
I'm homesick for a house
That isn't mine anymore

Gravity feels like it's seeking me out
Makes me heavy, numb, and dumb
Pulling my energy away from me
It's no wonder I feel cold

The light at the end of the tunnel, extinguished...
No relief on the way, just more of the same
But I'm still here, and the darkness won't win
I've made it this far, may as well keep going

Gravity feels like it's seeking me out
Makes me heavy, numb, and dumb
Pulling my energy away from me
It's no wonder I feel old

Numb

Life is getting harder
Magnifies the pains and aches
Seems like every month lasts longer
Than the money I'm paid

We're all watching
We're all waiting
For the the storm to break
Everything's so difficult these days

I keep looking for the magic
For the trick that ends the fight
But by the end of every evening
Nothing's ever right

We're all watching
We're all waiting
For the the storm to break
Everything's so difficult these days

At the end of my dark alley
the charred remains of someone's life
Nothing left to claim but ashes
It's not nearly right

Difficult

I've been waiting with the answer 
for someone to ask the question
I'm not going to save the world
I'm not unwilling --- I'm just not the best one

It's not rational to expect
People to act reasonably
Nothing's ever as strange as the truth
Yet we expect the logical explanation

Talking to myself a lot these days
Sometimes I listen
But mostly I say
Nothing worth repeating

Maturity is over-rated
Often wasted on the old
Innocence is fresh and new
And often favors the bold

We underestimate the capacity
For savagery from the human beast
It's hard to outrun
The things that make us weep...

Nothing Worth Repeating

I don't know what's going on
but I know that something's really really wrong
I don't have a plan for it
I don't know what to do at all

It's not easy here for me
To pretend that I'm who I want to be
Once I could be anyone at all

There's no map to shine a light
On where to go or how to sleep at night
No native scouts to guide us
No cover here to hide us now...

It's not easy here for me
To pretend that I'm who I want to be
Once I could be anyone at all

We learned what we did not know
And never guessed where we could never go
I don't have a word for it
Tried one on, but couldn't make it fit

It's not easy here for me
To pretend that I'm who I want to be
Once I could be anyone at all

This was originally released in 2020 on Safe at Home.  Redone recently to clean up some parts that weren't coherent...

Uncharted V.2

Never saw that one coming
One day it just arrived
Living now on borrowed time
We left it there for everyone to see
But no one cared to look...

Poets who can't rhyme
Dreamers who can't sleep
Misdemeanors jealous of a felony
Drummers with no beat


Living now in the space between atoms
Never really touching anything
As far as anyone's observed
Time just flows the one way

Poets who can't rhyme
Dreamers who can't sleep
Misdemeanors jealous of a felony
Drummers with no beat

One Way

I hope there is no afterlife
I don't want to be required to interact
With other souls for eternity
That looks like hell to me

Maybe death is the only thing
I'm certain to achieve in life
I'm ok with that
Just let me die peacefully

I don't mean to rush things
But I think I'll be good at being dead
Existence is so scary sometimes

Maybe death is the only thing
I'm certain to achieve in life
I'm ok with that
Just let me die peacefully

It's not a problem I can fix
I hate that I'll soon be forgotten

Peacefully

I'm finding these days
that memories are hard to tell from dreams
And those keep changing every day
Tangled up in history and what once might have been

The things I want to remember, 
I tend to forget
I'm shadowed by the things
I thought I left behind

I just wanna be with you
I just wanna show you how I feel
I just wanna hold you in my arms
Just wanna hold you in my heart

Hard to know if anything's ok
Hard to think of planning past today
Hard to tell what's real anymore
I just have to say

I just wanna be with you
I just wanna show you how I feel
I just wanna hold you in my arms
Just wanna hold you in my heart

I Just Wanna V.2

Riding through the high desert at night
Rabbits standing roadside, at attention
Every mile or so
Saluting me, or so it seemed
Then dashing across on a suicide run...

moving down the highway fast
mile markers flying past
like the loose leaves of a calendar
fluttering in the slipstream

Driving in the cool night air
Windows ventilating the cabin
The whoosh of air in motion
Winking stars to light the way

moving down the highway fast
mile markers flying past
like the loose leaves of a calendar
fluttering in the slipstream

watching carefully ahead
for truck tire shrapnel
and other hazards in my lane

SlipStream

I don't like being alone
But I hate being with people more
Wanting to go out
But happy to stay home

Waiting for the day to end
With no special reason why
Sometimes I'm angry with the sun
Taunting me with its shine

I've been socially distant
since way before the plague
Rather read a book than attend a party
Trying to sleep a lot - awake is SO exhausting

Knowing what you need to be happy
Does not make doing it any easier
And things we WANT to do
Often don't deliver happy...

I've been socially distant
since way before the plague
Rather read a book than attend a party
Trying to sleep a lot - awake is SO exhausting

Exhausting

I'm seeing a girl
She's really the rage
Says she's real vinyl
I think she's real front-page
Claimed by another
So we're real undercover
Meeting discreetly
Rendezvous Lovers

She said not to worry
My story's just fine
But we gotta hurry
There's never much time
Climbing up back stairs
We're real undercover
Meeting discreetly
Rendezvous Lovers

Rendezvous Lovers
Rendezvous Lovers
Rendezvous Lovers
Rendezvous Lovers

Rendezvous Lovers

You're the kind of person who's got all the lines
I know --- you read them in a book...

You live your life like a three-act play even when
There's no one left to look

No one can see you as you cry at night
I know, the cold wind makes you shudder and shake

No one can touch you unless you want them to
It's what you take

The Actor

There've been days when I could not find a friend
Get no replies to the letters that I send
All alone on empty streets, no one between  my sheets
Here I am again --- I'm still my own best friend.

And I know it's a simply awful thing to have to say
But people mostly bore me, anyway
With all that idle chit-chat noise, designer clothes and luxury toys
Here I am Again --- I'm still my own best friend.

There've been days when I could not find a civil thing to say
And certain times I have to push everything from my way
I rarely ever take advice (although I've thought about a few things twice)
Here I am Again --- I'm still my own best friend...

Here I Am Again V2

Maybe I said too many things
Too soon before the facts
And if I promised you the world
I was joking --- it's not mine
Guess I showed my hand too soon 
there's no encore for my act
And if you think that life's too cruel
Please don't blame me - it's for you

I'll write you into my history
But that's the only place you'll hold with me
I'll be on my way
Time to say goodbye

I'd love to have you in my world
But there's not enough to share
And if I promised you the world
I was joking, I take it back
Guess I showed my hand too soon 
there's no encore for my act
And if you think that life's too cruel
Please don't blame me - it's for you

I'll write you into my history
But that's the only place you'll hold with me
I'll be on my way
Time to say goodbye

Time To Say Goodbye

Bad starts to look good
When worse shows up at your door
Falling down the stairs might be fun
If it didn't hurt so much

Some things we learn by watching
Some things we learn by doing them ourselves
Some things we learn by listening
Some things we learn by waiting to see what comes next

I have a mirror that shows me what I look like
Instead of who I am
Sometimes the only way to learn is to survive
The things we learn help keep us alive

Some things we learn by watching
Some things we learn by doing them ourselves
Some things we learn by listening
Some things we learn by waiting to see what comes next



Falling Down the Stairs

I've tried to always think the best
But I am often disappointed
When I am feeling charitable
I'll sometimes admit I've made mistakes

Things I've done that I regret
And all those things I never did
I regret those too
Things I can't unbreak
I'm reaching the edge of what I think I know
I'm approaching the point
Where there is no point anymore...

I've done things I never should have done
Either stupid or hazardous, or some mixture of both
But sometimes I learned
And mostly won't do it again

Things I've done that I regret
And all those things I never did
I regret those too
Things I can't unbreak
I'm reaching the edge of what I think I know
I'm approaching the point
Where there is no point anymore...

Black Iris

Blunt Objects