The Other Side

I learned your silence better than your voice,
Every pause felt heavier than noise.
I kept my armor on, I stayed unkind,
Afraid that love would cost me more than time.

I thought control was safer than the fall,
Didn’t hear your heartbeat through the wall.

I was sharp when I should’ve been warm,
I was calm while the storm took form.

Now it’s too late to be gentle,
Too late to open my hands.
I loved you like a war zone,
Not like a human can.
If I’d knew what love was asking,
I wouldn’t need to pretend —
Now it’s too late to be gentle,
But I still feel you when I breathe in.

I spoke in reasons, numbers, lines,
While you were speaking in signs.
You needed presence, not replies,
I needed time I couldn’t buy.

I mistook distance for control,
Didn’t know I was losing home.

I was loud when I should’ve stayed,
I was brave in the wrong damn way.

Now it’s too late to be gentle,
Too late to soften my hands.
I loved you like a battle,
Not like a fragile plan.
If I’d knew love was listening,
Not proving who I am —
Now it’s too late to be gentle,
But I still carry where you’ve been.

I don’t blame you for leaving,
I blame me for surviving
Without learning how to stay.
Some love isn’t loud or violent —
It’s quiet,
And I broke it anyway.

Now it’s too late to be gentle,
But not too late to be real.
I’ll bleed this truth into music
‘Cause silence is what kills.
If I’d knew that I love you
Meant letting down my shield —
I wouldn’t need this song to say
What I was too afraid to feel.

Too late to be gentle…
But not too late to remember.

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Every Time I Look For You

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