I Meant To Find You from The Season (hidden track)
Laura Marie
(pic effects by @ThomasTheo on Twitter)

You know how morning comes and leaves behind
the fear that darkness crowds around you?
But, still you take your place in space and time
ignoring how the light has come through.

You don’t see the things I do,
the answers you remind me of
You believe what’s wrong with you,
but, I believe what’s meant for us

I see the light illuminate the world
with widened eyes and mind wide open. 
There’s nothing left to recreate. We’re good.
We’re all that we have ever chosen

You don’t see the things I do,
the answers you remind me of
You believe what’s wrong with you,
but, I believe what’s meant for us

You.  I meant to find. I meant to find you.
You.  I meant to find. I meant to find you.

If only you could see you through my eyes
Your sadness says you need reminding
Forget the things you think and realize
All the love you need is finding

You don’t see the things I do,
the answers you remind me of
You believe what’s wrong with you,
but, I believe what’s meant for us
You.  I meant to find. I meant to find you.
You.  I meant to find. I meant to find you.

Buy on iTunes

I MEANT TO FIND YOU

1989 Four part harmony. Paul John Peter & Bob. playing rhythm guitars lead guitar and bass, live recording session at John's Flat in Belsize Park, spontaneous performance and arrangement. Mixed by Paul.


Firewater Slowburner

In January of 2013 I was sort of stranded in Germany after mislaying my passport and wallet, so I traveled to Berlin to stay near my brother and sister, only to find them again a week or so after arriving.
During my stay I reconnected with Thorsten Amend, an engineer and producer I'd worked with before, and agreed to spend a day recording new songs and redoing one which we'd recorded for the 'formation - 2011' recordings.
We set up and worked for about seven hours in a beautiful apartment belonging to an opera director I know, next to a snowy Görlitzer Park in Kreutzberg 36, the old hippy district of west Berlin. I'll tell you the back story some other time.

Wings

Walking on the water

After some short chat with Dirk, I decided to give it a try and improvise on the theme of one of Dirk's wonderful compositions :) Here is the result.

The original piece: http://soundcloud.com/ascoltadi/dirk-maassen-to-the-sky
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I would also love to use the opportunity and announce the release of my piano album "Filling the emptiness" that is available on iTunes, Amazon MP3, BandCamp and so on. For all the links: http://www.milana.ws/albums.html

Variation on the theme of "To the sky" (Dirk Maassen) by Milana

Perfectly Clear from The Season
Laura Marie
(pic effects by @ThomasTheo on Twitter)

When will you speak words that only I know to be true like you do
How do you find all the thoughts that I thought were mine inside you
Love
Tail lights shine in the darkness, rain on the pavement, clouds in the sky
Hands are held for a moment, hearts split in fragments that no one can find 

But your eyes are perfectly clear 
In this light the reason we won’t disappears
and I’m moved to swell and to surge like the tide
with all the moonlight over you

Over and over I sing all my sorrows in songs. I bring you
Faith on a string and my hope like a hallowed out heart, I need you 
Love, I need you love
Lightning strikes on the water, heavens are opened, nothing has died
Arms reach out to embrace you, barriers broken, strands come untied

But your eyes are perfectly clear 
In this light the reason we won’t disappears
and I’m moved to swell and to surge like the tide
with all the moonlight over you

making what seems wrong all right 
You, a full on miracle in hindsight
I never thought I’d ever see the world in such a light

But your eyes are perfectly clear 
In this light the reason we won’t disappears
and I’m moved to swell and to surge like the tide
with all the moonlight 

But your eyes are perfectly clear 
In this light the reason we won’t disappears
and I’m moved to swell and to surge like the tide
with all the moonlight over you


PERFECTLY CLEAR

We just got some new recording equipment, so this was the first recording using it :) Arty also tried to test another position for vocal mics, so this whole recording is the first try (the mix is pretty rough, btw.. vocal might be a bit louder in the mix than needed). 

Anyhow, enjoy my new song that was inspired by the same named improvisation of mine that was a part of "Filling the emptiness" album (https://www.milanazilnik.com/music). Funny enough that improvisation turned into the most "stolen" one: we found it on dozens and dozens of "free download mp3 sites". Well, free exposure, I guess :)

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When I'm awake at night
And distant voices call me,
Hold me, even if I fight... (in the endless night)

And if I could I might
Forget you ever told me
How I'm free to leave your side... (into the endless night)

Wishing I could cry
For the love that died
On that endless night...

When I'm away from light
You let the shadows guide me,
Find me, make me run inside... (from the endless night)

And if I could I might
Forget you ever told me
How you wish to spend your life... (in the endless night)

Wishing I could cry
For the love that died
On that endless night...

So if you hear me sigh,
Don't let the silence fool you.
Pull me close with all your might ... (in the endless night)

Endless night, I forget my pride
For the last and never ending night...
Deepest dive, can't believe that I
Live this endless lie...

Wishing I could cry
For the love that died
On that endless night...

Endless Night

"Endless night"  by Milana

Like the Rabbit Passing Alice

Some folks just never settle down and time is of the essence!  A kind of nod to JJ Cale's Mr. Breeze.

Lyrics;
Every day a river will find the sea
You know you've found a forest just by seeing the trees
And people everywhere just wanna be free
I'm always somewhere else, nobody's gonna find me

Cause I've always been a rambler with a strong urge to fly
I'll never settle down under that big blue sky
I love ya, gotta go,  time to say goodbye
Like the rabbit passing Alice no time to tell you why

You've called the wrong number if I answer the phone
If you're sending me a letter it's addressee unknown
My door is always open but I'm never at home
It's good to be with someone, but I'm better alone

Look from where I'm standing, it's a big world out there
And I'm bound to find my dreams  but I just don't know where
And time's in short supply  no one has got much to spare
But I'm happy for the little time that you and I shared

I've always been a rambler with a strong urge to fly
I'll never settle down under that big blue sky
I love ya, gotta go,  time to say goodbye
Like the rabbit passing Alice no time to tell you why

And every day the river will find the sea
Not hard to find a forest when you're under the trees
And people everywhere just wanna be free
I'm always somewhere else is why you'll never find me

See the video here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbybeFvR-IA

Like The Rabbit Passing Alice

Long Slow Burn from The Season
Laura Marie
(pic effects by @ThomasTheo on Twitter)

Adrift on a raging sea. baby, it’s poetry 
that you never heard before and now never wanted more
Oh, how you lose your head, fall on your sleepless bed
Oh, how you toss and turn feverish, hungry, hurt 
It’s a long slow burn

You know the way to go, even eyes closed you know
You have a word for it caught on your honey lips
How do you lay it down, how do you go without
How can you make it seem, baby, like poetry 
It’s a long slow burn

Everything’s fine. You’re not alone
Everything’s fine. You’re not alone
Everything’s fine. You’re not alone
Everything’s fine. Baby, you go 
for the long slow burn

Long slow burn, burn, burn, burn….
I know a story about a boy and a girl
I know a story about a love so pure
So pure, so pure, so pure

LONG SLOW BURN

One day when I was 9, I crawled through a long cement drain pipe in the woods for about 3/4 of a mile to see where it went. I came out on the other side of a supermarket by a hidden lake. A woman had a camp of sorts there. She was about 45 years old and behaved strangely. She came over to me and patted my head. Her eyes were strange and incredibly blue. I was nervous and asked if she lived there and where she came from.. She grabbed my arm and made me point to the sky. I resisted a little. She held me close and firm and whispered in my ear..."I fell from heaven". " I fell from heaven little man....and someday you will understand."  A Soundtrack from my full length color dreams. Perhaps they're hallucinations...

 Bob Cairns (https://soundcloud.com/bob-cairns) wrote this music and lyric...I added a little guitar etc. here and there, although the song is so perfectly formed... that I don't think it needed anything ...it stands on it's own with just Bob and his guitar. The lyric paints as beautiful a picture of a human heart and Soul in it's quest for Spiritual "communion" as you may ever find. 

 The lyric has many levels and meanings to explore but...To me, one thing that this brilliant lyric and music touches on is, the mystical path we are all on in this life and forgiveness... of life's pain, our own failings and even God (or one's personal Divinity) ...for seemingly failing us.... Bob's own thoughts are below mine in quotes.

Asteri-There sometimes comes a moment  in life... when we have struggled against all we are given to endure and we can do no more. In our last willful act before we succumb to the forces that would destroy us, we leap but, we fail...we don't make it to safety and peace. At that moment, we may cry out...calling for that which we sense or believe to be our "beloved".

 If the Spirit is pure in it's quest, it is possible to be heard and for us to be carried to the next level... by something beyond this consciousness and this dimension. We are lifted and carried without our own effort, to the Spiritual place we had longed to be  by virtue of our pure and heroic heart. 

Bob-"The verse regards, ("whenever he felt the tenderness he'd lose if he should hold") is sometimes regarded as an accusation towards the mother for lack of nurture but, beneath the surface of effect is... cause... and that is, 'environmental conditions'... among other things that can make nurture so difficult, hence the title Green King and not Red king or White king or whatever, the Green denoting environment and when seen through the blue is... Gold. 

(Green being the middle color of the rainbow also relating to the "cause & effect" scenario where "communication" is so much part of the environment, the lack of which plays host to much neglect and confusion).

The final verse regards the beast ...reflects the journey towards the summit, the quest to learn, to know, the transitional moment ...while striving, to slip and fall and in so doing, cry out from deep within for help ...and in that instant, a response from across the universe, in the form of a winged white horse... catches the dimly conscious being, lifting the awareness to realms of imagination."

" In The final surmising...Where reparation cannot be made to make "right", "write" down make a holy "rite". The hidden or invisible meaning spoken three in one. Caused much soul searching the answer alighted upon trust to hear, now made more clear.
