You gave me your hand as a promise and left it I'm recounting the steps to see what I did wrong , these feelings I get when I’m with you they can not be created again , like notes in a journal you tore from limb to limb , for all that’s been thrown away the feeling of one’s pedal how it caved at my flesh it seemed as if you never had hope so now all that remains here is the ghost of my failure to never keep us whole so now ill just sit here

torn petals (you made me a ghost now i’ll never be the same)

foxtails - c.c.c.r.e.m.i.x.

My Journey to the Weed Den

old new girlfriend- i hate sex

This Is Not For You

every window in alcatraz has a view of san francisco

vacant lottery

Every Window in Alcatraz Has a View of San Francisco (II)

The Chicken from Outer Space

“Tome of Stars” is a 100 sonnet journey, equal parts art, therapy journal, and exorcism, both a celebration and an elegy, a single narrative arc tracing the birth and death of a relationship. All poetry by Stargazer. The verse and accompanying synthetic art and music are public domain, CC0, with no restrictions on use. Nothing is monetized. See below for links on how to access the print, PDF, audio, ePub, video, and music files. 
Website: https://www.tomeofstars.net/

The third section of “Tome of Stars“ is “Sporogenesis”, a haphazard chronicle of the years 2011–2020. It marks a shift from the cataclysm of “Senescence" into a period of withdrawal and emotional hibernation, its eleven sonnets seeking to reflect the padam of the collection’s bharatanatyam-inspired structure.

This sonnet marks a profound moment of vulnerability and trauma. Written after the poet’s introspection during the pandemic lockdown, it captures his attempt to explain his past failings in love in the context of deep psychological damage from childhood trauma. The speaker opens himself through a written letter, earnestly believing this revelation may bring his beloved to appreciate fully his love for her. The poem narrates not only the introspective awakening but also the subsequent pain of receiving no reply. In that silence, the beloved’s absence becomes newly devastating, not only as loss of presence, but as an indifference to the poet’s most sacred truth and profound trauma. The final couplet brings this pain into a physical metaphor, ending with the speaker’s torment persisting in the face of emotional annihilation.

***********
Lyrics

In quarantine’s long shadow, time transformed.
My mind embarked on quests through sleepless nights,
Exploring past mistakes, ardor deformed,
Unearthing reasons for our stillborn light.

In dream-wrought worlds, some truths I’d come to find;
I loved you worthy of a mythic tale,
But could not shatter shackles on my mind,
Nor unmake fiend’s corruptions and prevail.

My thirteen pages bled from mangled heart,
Confessed in raw vulnerability;
No lack of love had ripped our worlds apart,
But shadows cast by past monstrosity.  

Long years this open wound, where’s your reply?
Starved vultures rend my flesh. Yet I don’t die!

***********

Internet Archive
Book of sonnets:
https://archive.org/details/tome-of-stars/

Music:
Item 1, Anthesis: https://archive.org/details/Anthesis/
Item 2, Senescence: https://archive.org/details/senescence_tomeofstars
Item 3, Sporogenesis: https://archive.org/details/Sporogenesis_TomeOfStars/
Item 4, Anemochory: https://archive.org/details/Anemochory_TomeOfStars
Item 5, Quixotosis: https://archive.org/details/Quixotosis_TomeOfStars
Item 6, Scripture: https://archive.org/details/Scripture_TomeOfStars

Bandcamp:

Item 1, Anthesis: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/anthesis-item-1-of-tome-of-stars
Item 2, Senescence: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/senescence-item-2-of-tome-of-stars
Item 3, Sporogenesis: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/sporogenesis-item-3-of-tome-of-stars
Item 4, Anemochory: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/anemochory-item-4-of-tome-of-stars
Item 5, Quixotosis: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/quixotosis-item-5-of-tome-of-stars
Item 6, Scripture: https://stargazer-elentirmo.bandcamp.com/album/scripture-item-6-of-tome-of-stars

Unanswered

he looks back at his past faith and realizes it was never holy, only human. The poison became his truth.

Poison creed

Long Term Relationships Were Only Cool When Divorce Wasn't - Merchant Ships

Every Window in Alcatraz Has a View of San Francisco (II)

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