Tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la la la la la la lal lal la la dum dum. 
 
Go, grab a bottle of Ginzilade and settle down by your stimulated log fire, for an adaptation of Charles Dickens’ most famous story. No, not Oliver Twerp, Great Explosions or A Tale of Ten Charlies. Those are fun but in no way suitable for Christmas. Frankly, the beheading of Nancy Drew in A Tale of Ten Charlies is possibly the most sickening thing ever committed to paper, after the kicking to death of Nancy Drew in Great Explosions and the cutting in half of Nancy drew with scissors in Oliver Twerp.  He was a sick puppy that Dickens bloke. 

It is of course the timelessly dated A Christmas Barrels, which sees all your favourite character take on the thankless task of redeeming miserly old Ebenezer Scrooge. It is just like the 50th anniversary episode of Doctor Who but without Joanna Page’s eyebrows going up and down, up and down. Somebody get her some Botox!  This podcast contains ghosts and condemned jokes. It should not be played whilst driving or shooting things off heads.


Brainjam - SEVEN - A Christmas Barrels

At the end of every year, it is beholden upon every podcast producer to compile a package of bloopers to prove that they are good at editing. This is ours. All hail Martin! Tom edits his own sketches but has not provided us with any outtakes. Mainly because of all the racist language and BNP chanting. Therefore, it looks like Martin will be taking the golden mouse home to have sex with, all by himself.

Brainjam - 2013 OUTTAKES

'My wife bought me a cheese and I liked it so much that I bought a chimney,' thought Victor Kiam as he slipped from this world on the 27th May, 2001. What he thought after that is unknown. Religious people believe that he thought about floating in heaven like a pube in the breeze. Whereas atheists believe that he simply blinked out of existence and didn't think much of anything.
 
Either way, we believe that he would have enjoyed this month's Brainjam podcast. He loved obscure references to long forgotten television and radio shows, that's what he loved. He said so in a fictional letter I wrote from him to the Pope. He was very rude to the pope and told him in no uncertain terms that he hated him and would not be buying his priests holes. We hope that you enjoy this podcast and If you do, feel free to tell your friends or leave a nice comment on iTunes or Stitcher Radio. It all helps to make the many hours of writing, recording and editing worthwhile. Love you.

Brainjam - ELEVEN - Temple Returns

In the first episode of their podcast, Andrew Wilson and Martin Wolfenden chat about food, horses and feet the size of hands. You probably shouldn’t eat a large meal before listening to this. Also, sorry for the variable sound quality. We are still experimenting with the best way to link Manchester and Halifax with string.

Wilson and Wolfenden - Foody

Yes we're back! In this episode we chat about science, space toilets, gay dog owner groups and fizzy whisky. This week's closing music is Whiskey Can by Kelly Allyn.

Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0) https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/7235/kelly-allyn


Wilson and Wolfenden - Sciency

Clutch some children to your bosom and ride a giant glass around an enormous Ouija board. In this year's Halloween special you can expect macabre tales, blood curdling screams and an earful of icy goolies. Do not listen if you are of a decaying disposition.

Brainjam - THIRTEEN - Willies Up

After a short sabbatical Andrew and Martin return to discuss time travel and kissing the Duke of Edinburgh, before relenting and introducing this week’s song B.R.I.A.N by I’m Fresh! You’re Pretty.

Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0) https://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a135330/i-m-fresh-you-re-pretty

Wilson and Wolfenden - Calypsoey

Dab turns up on Tench’s doorstep with a thirst and is forced to watch his latest film. Will Dab ever get a beer? And what did he do with Tench’s toilet?

Dab & Tench -  The DVD

In this episode we learn about Martin's funeral, Andy's insurance fraud and Arnold Schwarzenegger's Yorkshireman fetish. This week's end tune is 'I want you' by Tamara Laura. Get the whole album for free at the link below. 

Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0) <a href="https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/433610/tamara-laurel">https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/433610/tamara-laurel</a>

Wilson and Wolfenden - Criminy

Coming out of Andrew and Martin's faces this week: Squid juggling, magic wands and Victorian celebrities. Just what a growing human needs.

This week's outy tune is 'Plummet' by The House of the Old Boat. You can grab the whole album for free at the link below.

Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0) https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/365914/the-house-of-the-old-boat

Wilson and Wolfenden - Celebrity

This week we yammer on about batteries, X-Men, artificial intelligence and Martin's slave labour toy factory. This weeks outy track is 'All I Can Think of is You' by Julia Haltigan. To get the entire album for free use the link below. 

Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0) <a href="https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/453536/julia-haltigan">https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/453536/julia-haltigan</a>

Wilson and Wolfenden - Battery

Sleigh bells ring, we assume. Having never actually heard a sleigh we don't really know. Anyway in this extra long Christmas special we discuss our childhood Christmases and shitting. Merry Christmas to all our listener. This week's play off music is 'Pour Noel' by Löhstana David. Grab a copy at the link below. 


Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0) https://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a115629/pour-noel

Wilson & Wolfenden - Christmasy

A valuable Faberge dildo has gone missing from the Countess of Morcar's hotel room. Can Holmes and Watson discover who stole it and save an innocent man from prison in time for Christmas day?

Brainjam - FOURTEEN - Sherlock Holmes and The Faberge Dildo

Once upon a time, in a land ludicrously far away, dwelt a podcast that lived happily ever after, though doesn't return our calls. We’re a bit worried about it to be honest. Screw that podcast! Here’s a new episode of Brainjam; replete with old radio references, Eastenders confusion and somebody dropping a sea bum. 
 
Written and performed by Martin Wolfenden, Andrew Wilson, Tom Stringfellow and Lisa Goddard.
 
The Brainjam theme music was written by Aaron Cahill.

www.brainjam.co.uk

Brainjam - FIFTEEN -  Bona

What happens when two exhausted middle aged men try to talk over the Google Hangout service? A robot voice and lots and lots of forgetting things, that’s what!

This week’s musicality is ‘Whenever I’m With You’ by The Bourgeois.

Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0)

https://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a144113/the-bourgeois

Wilson & Wolfenden - Hangy

With a song in their arse and a rabbit in their hands, Andrew and Martin plough into the Spring with a load of old bollocks about telly shows and their tireless work for charity. 

This week's dancing sound is 'Perverting the American Dream' by The Bourgeois


Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0)
https://www.jamendo.com/en/list/a144113/the-bourgeois

Wilson & Wolfenden - Camerony

The sun is shining but Martin has broken his bum and Andy’s chest is filling with coughs.   Like last week we forgot to sort out some music ahead of time, so we have another terrible track that Martin made for the old Gentleman’s Review podcast in 2009. Sorry. 

Wilson & Wolfenden - Roboty

While the world burns around them, Andrew and Martin talk the hind legs off a blind monkey and dribble onto a pillow.  Take it to the bridge music mollusc.

This week’s music is ‘Love Passion’ by an Alpine band named Blackstar.  

Here are their song noises place: 

https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/471837/blackstar

Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0)


Wilson & Wolfenden - Winey

In the second podcast recorded while Andrew and Martin drank wine through their stupid mouths, they talk about superheroes and forget some important names. All in your stew foot pun. 

This week’s music is ‘Another World’ by LukHash 
Here is his sound orifice: https://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/353807/lukhash 
Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0)


Wilson & Wolfenden - Drunky

It is summer 2015 and in a small bra in Istanbul two men plot to take over the world. However, in Manchester and Halifax, Andrew and Martin plot to amuse mourners at their funerals. 

Wilson & Wolfenden - Deathly

The first smells of autumn are shooting up the noses of otters and Andrew and Martin have lost the plot completely. Do they know where? Do they know how? How is there? What is how? 

Wilson & Wolfenden - Pughey

You’ll never guess? Just guess. GUESS! GUEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!
That’s right Andrew and Martin are back from wherever they were. To be honest they don’t really know themselves. Anyway expect a more regular output from now on, because they’ve been feasting on prunes. 


Wilson & Wolfenden - Bath Chairs!

WTF!? Martin and Andrew are back but this time one of them is in a different place. Stupid idiot!

Wilson & Wolfenden - Devony

Good day to thee young folkling,

Batten down the hatches for tales of weddings, lavatorial rudery and what Willy Wonka gets up to at the weekend.

 
This week’s musicality is ‘1985’ by Those Things.


Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0)
https://www.jamendo.com/track/1350502/1985

Wilson & Wolfenden - Wee Willy Winky

Fruity Cheese - Song(ish)

Greeting fellow air breathers.
We recorded this podcast a little while ago but due to Martin being a lazy beggar, it has taken until now for it to be exposed to our fine audience of nine people.
We are also delighted to have been nominated for two and a half stars on iTunes an we look forward to picking those up from the bins round the back of the Dorchester next Wednesday. 

This week’s music is ‘Africa The Cradle of Life’ by  GRÉGOIRE LOURME
For the full version, free to download: https://www.jamendo.com/album/184364/africa-the-cradle-of-life
Music used under Creative Commons licence (CC BY-SA 3.0)

For Dill.

Wilson & Wolfenden

Wilson & Wolfenden - Warmish

Welcome to a new podcast from the idiots who brought you Brainjam. 

Gather round as The Curator lets to here things with your ears that you have never heard before. 

Though you may have heard the first episode's bit of history before, we just want to see how it would sound like this. Sexy huh?

Touching the Past - The Television

So what does this phrase actually mean? Stay close and this chap will tell you.

Touching the Past - He Should be Trundled Out on a Biddy

Well lets confess it! Only the people at the highest levels of government know how ladles work. Now you do.

Use this knowledge to stop Brexit or if it has happened to rid yourself of vastly vomits.

Touching the Past - The Ladle

When I first began my forray into history I knew that it would often surprise me and sometimes shock.

In the case of the lemon, it did neither. 

Enjoy please.

Touching the Past - The Lemon

Concepts! Who needs concepts? When you can still find a 2007 style podcast with two blokes just rambling on and on about stuff.
We have a new podcast out too, you can find that at: https://www.touching-the-past.com/

Wilson and Wolfenden - Concepts!

This week’s episode of Touching the Past is the history of History.

When I was a young man, history was my mistress, my dominatrix and my thruppeny upright. 

So I am delighted to bring you this detailed and thought provoking podular-broadcast.

Touching the Past - History

While still searching for a concept for their podcast, Andrew and Martin slap their brains and talk about coffee, vegan pork scratchings, tight crotch flares, rice pudding and baldness caused by the Van Der Valk belt.

Wilson & Wolfenden - Brain Hole

Tench takes his new dog Maloney out for a walk and talks about the past year and his plans for the future.

Tench Life- Cats And Dogs

An extra rambly episode of Wilson and Wolfenden in which Martin forgets to plug his recordy box into his mixing desk resulting in his side of the conversation being recorded on the internal mikes. He honestly isn't on the toilet.

Wilson & Wolfenden - Rambly Bollocks

Welcome the world of Brainjam. This channel features the following sexy podcasts:

The Brainjam Podcast: This is a comedy sketch show, featuring Martin Wolfenden, Andrew Wilson, Lisa Goddard and Tom Stringfellow. There are new sketches every month and many are about sci-fi, movies and shows from the olden days of radio and television. Have a listen, you may like it

Wilson & Wolfenden:  Martin Wolfenden and Andrew Wilson from The Brainjam Podcast always dreamed of being able to do a chatty podcast in their pants. Now they can do just that, thanks to the magical threads of the internet linking their respective homes in Manchester and Okehampton in Devon.  

Dab & Tench: Welcome to the world of actors: Barrington Dab and Jamie Tench, who in their own words are "the finest actors in all of England." Which is a bold statement considering that Tench spends most of his time playing bad villains in straight to video movies. Dab however hate's the movie business and prefers to strip naked and pleasure himself into the faces of his audience, for what he calls "the art of it".

The Brainjam Podcast Network

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