Mediocrity

Beautiful Loser

spent too long gazing at these lights
smears of purple and green impair my sight
knew it wouldnt be long before it arrived
my anxious monologues fill the night
questions to myself hard to answer
introspective thoughts with no candor
pollen always makes my head hurt
mirror image starts to distort

why cant i just be someone immune
natures pain it takes a toll on you

ive been sad for ten weeks straight
i wish i did not have to wait
for life to move at such slow rates
i cant help but feel desolate

my mind and i go toe to toe
cause i cant know whats not been shown
i tend to not go with the flow
scared to get caught in undertows

allergies

here's a sp00ky throwback to my sophomore year. happy halloween.

we were walking down the street
keeping pace, with an unspoken beat
i turned left and you turned right
disappearing into the night

but i'm not even trying
no i'm not even trying

to you i'm just a stranger
you don't even know my name
but i don't want to be your stranger
tell me did you feel the same?

i see you again from time to time
knowing that your eyes won't reach mine
i want to walk right up to you, but that's something i'll never do
you never knew

but i'm not even trying
no i'm not even trying

to you i'm just a stranger
you don't even know my name
but i don't want to be your stranger
tell me did you feel the same?

but i'm not even try
no i'm not even trying
no no i'm not even trying
no i'm not even trying

i don't want to just be your
i don't want to just be your
straaaaaanger

sp00k

sp00k (demo)

this was just a thing i was fuckin around with. might do more like this, might not, WHO KNOWS?


it's getting easier every day
time has been the best of friends
to help forget your face
every now and then i'll grab my phone
laugh or remember a joke that you'd find funny
but now you won't

you are not as 
cool as me or good looking
that's what i tell myself so i stay
clean, of all the shit you throw
text messages and running jokes
as fun as me or interesting
every time that you say something
i want to scream until my throat bleeds

feeling lonely really sucks
there's nothing fun about it
not one bit
i put my clothes all on this morning
and didn't even realize
they no longer fit 
cuz now i'm without you
and i don't miss you
i thought i would need you
but i'm fine without you

you are not as 
cool as me or good looking
that's what i tell myself so i stay
clean, of all the shit you throw
text messages and running jokes
as fun as me or interesting
every time that you say something
i want to scream until my throat bleeds
you are not as 
cool as me or good looking
that's what i tell myself so i stay
clean, of all the shit you throw
text messages and running jokes
as fun as me or interesting
every time that you say something
i want to scream until my throat bleeds

cool as me

i took a walk in the park
but i got bored
i took a moment to breathe
what am i outside for
i hate this place
it all wants me dead
cant help but make a face
my skin is turning red
just what i dread
how long will i be this young
i stay up late
i burn my tongue
i dont wanna pay my bills
ill walk the world
ill live off thrills
life on the outside

art by @rikpld on social media

on the outside

sorry for this awkward 1 ladies haha

Lyrics:
 I guess I’ve done what I’ve already wanted to do, so now my life's set
I'm just surprised that a personality so dry can get so many girls wet
Having being inside a few people was a very anticlimactic experience 
At the end, when she’d climaxed, I whip out my dick and just jerk it

Merged with, firm tits at the end of my finale
Then the end comes and I cum, slowly, sadly   

And to any person who’s next to have me
I’m sorry, in advanced, that it had to end so badly

I mean, I guess I’m good at the dominating bit
I’ll pull your hair while you’re bent over and the back is where I’ll hit
But behind all that shit, when I let the flow die with my hips
Would you be fine listening to music high when we sign off with the sex

Could I get deep with my emotions as I was inside you moments ago?
Would it be wrong for me to get sappy when it appeared I had a giant ego? 

Man… I don’t know. 
I wanna turn lustfulness into compassion the moment we take off our clothes so

If I were to hoe around, I mean, I’d at least want some fun
Not a stress relief, not a dress routine, but something special I share with someone

I don’t mean to get sentimental 
Even if I can’t find the one, I’ll still be willing to give out free samples

I'm gonna be honest, sometimes I can't though
I shoot so much out at times I run out of ammo

I guess I just really want a best friend.
One who can make me laugh as well as consider my emotions.

Because like, I’m a fragile human, 
with art by my side, life is something that I'm alright with doing.

Trying to look for other remedies instead of growing a dependency 
 I helplessly, heavily, endlessly, recklessly, relentlessly have tendencies to seek chemistry 

And when others mention me
I automatically seek opportunity to see if there's any room for intimacy 

When the room is being taken up by the elephant 
So I act as if I don't give a fuck, and I'm back in my element 

But that's irrelevant, 
i think that's all I wanted to say unless there's something else I'm not mentionin

So I'll just try to drift my mind away from this topic
Hi, I'm Vaughn, I hook up with people, get into something until one of us fucking drops it
Man- Fuck it I'm gonna stop this

lofi

Sad Sexy Time

if i'm being honest
i don't know where to begin
cuz i keep setting my alarm then hit snooze and sleep in
i signed up for the gym and went twice cuz i'm so lazy that i'd rather pay the monthly fee then cancel it entirely

i feel like a loser
when i talk to my friends
because they all have seemed to come to terms with reaching the end
and i don't want to go to college but it looks like i will
cuz in the years to come i'll have to find a way to pay bills

yeah life is hard
it fucking sucks
but it's the little things that make me wake up
yeah it's the little things that make me wake up
yeah it's the little things that make me wake up

things are gettin heavy
and i feel so confused
cuz every time i think i'm comfortable i end up bruised
i've got a million different choices and there's no way to tell
whether the one i make today will send me up or to hell 

yeah life is hard
it fucking sucks
but it's the little things that make me wake up
yeah it's the little things that make me wake up
yeah it's the little things that make me wake up

i'm a piece of garbage
and i've learned to accept
that there are things about myself that will stay permanent
no matter how much i pretend that i am in control
there'll always be another side to me that i'll never know
there'll always be another side to me that i'll never know
there'll always be another side to me that will take control

yeah life is hard
it fucking sucks
but it's the little things that make me wake up
yeah it's the little things that make me wake up
yeah it's the little things that make me wake up

the feelings you will feel the summer before going to college (demo)

Enjoy this old relic from a podcast i produced named "Story Time".

Front Porch Blues

I've got nothing to show for the way
that I've been spending my time
did I think too big
since I was a kid 
I always thought that I would get by
out on the road and fear keeps it going
for once don't change your mind
wait too long
you'll miss out on something
you're probably gonna die
but you'll be fine

let the sun
let it come
let the sun
forever fun
we're dumb
we're dumb
forever fun

drunk on my way to somewhere
I don't wanna stay but I gotta go
I'm still a dick
can't act like I care
when I'm too exhausted to show
eyes start sinking my head gets all crowded
haven't seen a bed in a week
can't help thinking it's a waste of time 
when I'm always running out of money
but that's my life

let the sun
let it come
let the sun
forever fun
we're dumb
we're dumb
forever fun

let the sun
let it come
let the sun
forever fun
we're dumb
we're dumb
forever fun
let the sun
let it come
let the sun
forever fun
we're dumb
we're dumb
forever fun

NEXT2YOU (feat. fredo)

CACK

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