I'm singing about the intense shadow work I did in 2022, admitting my anxious attachment style and why I'm like this. I explain what loving on default means to me, which is about sacrificing my needs so they won't leave me. 

In a nutshell: "to be happy, i give up on my needs so you won't give up on me"

Loving On Default

Self Sabotage* is a raw, introspective body of work created in the eye of a personal storm. The mixtape reflects a time marked by negative self-talk, isolation, and a subconscious pattern of self-destruction. Through vulnerable lyricism and bold sonic experimentation, Shno Xavier confronts his internal battles, exploring themes of worthiness, solitude, ruined connections, and the lingering weight of past failures. This project is both a reckoning and a rebirth—an intentional act of perseverance.

Every song on *Self Sabotage* is a breadcrumb, guiding Shno from a dark chapter toward self-forgiveness and creative renewal. Made entirely in solitude, this tape is not a celebration of loneliness, but an exercise in resilience—proof to himself that he could complete something beautiful despite the noise of doubt.


I made this during one of the most difficult periods of my life. I needed to prove to myself that I wouldn’t quit. While collaboration is often the fast track to success, my journey in solitude has taught me painful, necessary lessons. I didn’t isolate out of pride—I did it to learn how to finish something even when it felt like no one was watching. Hopefully, this music resonates with anyone who’s ever felt unseen, unheard, or unsure of their worth

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER

TIMS (Alt Version)

POSSYBULL

GUCCILIKEMANE

THE BEST TIME IS RIGHT NOW

CRASH

It Rains, It Pours

Lowkey a dirty mackin anthem for jokes but really for the guys who got hella cool homegirls who be tellin em bout other guys and they relationships like we asked. It’s almost like the gay best friend but as a cis male. Sometimes niggas know they the better option and don’t necessarily flex that they could be next in line they just be and them niggas are elite cause we give great advice that don’t break bro code either. It’s always on some well what I would have done with my lady as if it’s not them is key. But really it was fun record empowering the feminine divine I read a lil bit of woman who runs with the wolves and tried to understand how I can be more supportive in a females evolution out of love instead of control or possession. So this what that song embodies. I always been the simp type or the one who wants to control the relationship without ever working on myself so this is song for the niggas doin the work and just lettin shorty know I gotchu whenever if you need and if not gucci im still on motion. Rappers gotta start making more love songs instead of fuck that bitch in coup cause it’s toxic and too many niggas who don’t get pussy is diloting the message and fucking it up for everybody. Basically you scaring all the huzz. 

WOLVES (feat. NELSON WATERS)

SOLITUDE

Enjoy my released (and secret unreleased) music ;)

CTLN (pronounced "Caitlin") is an LA-based singer, songwriter, artist, and burn survivor originally from Mendham, NJ. Her contemporary blend of pop and r&b music is made to move you, both physically and emotionally, while emphasizing radically self-aware perspectives about mental health, love, growth, and healing. As a burn survivor in the entertainment industry, CTLN is inspiring her audience to exist outside the social narrative by learning what it means to truly embrace themselves.