Rest (demo)

rough demo

intro to be used later

might scrap this; it's incredibly messy lol
also doesn't fit with the album theme much

possible scrap

insanely powerful but my broke ass is not paying £10 a month. also lags rly badly

Dmaj7, Emin7, Gbmin7, Gmaj7-Gdim7

serum test

So I might actually finish workprint...
G, Gmaj7, G7, C, Cmin, Cdim, D/B, D/C

movement for memories you'd like to forget

the sun don't shine
anymore
you look at yourself
in the lakewater
wondering why
your antlers won't grow yet

it's late at night
once again
i'm yearning for a little bit of
a little bit of
your love
darling
surface feels just the same
what did i have to say to you this time?
oh i

antlergirl

lakewater

and whilst I'm in the right lane
you see me better than before
don't think I could ever live up
to your standards now
don't push me

when i see you now
i wonder what you'd say
about yourself that you turned out to be
what the fuck
did you do to me
i miss the old you
or do i miss what i thought you were to be
tell me
did i make the wrong choice
i wonder whether if
it was so bright inside (??)
whilst in the end (??) just what i thought it could be in my perspective
now
sky's so bright
cause i don't, think
about you, as much
cause, you decided
to leave, me
to do, wonder
why i did
all that stuff
cause i thought
i, was, helping, you
(and 1, 2, 3, 4)
none of that made any sense
why
this is all a stream of consciousness
now i'm wondering
why i thought
that just cause you were my friend
and in the end it meant nothing to you
that i even cared

do you still think about me?

i think this track changed how i view the world quite a lot. i had to reupload this entire album because of an old cover.
i had previously used a gif of two homestuck cosplayers kissing from like 2011 for the cover, and despite the song only getting 1700 views on youtube, the two cosplayers still found it. that shocked me; 1700 views seems so little, but the two exact people still saw it. i'm still deeply sorry to those two and i hope they're doing okay. it was no way right for me to use an image like that without thinking about the people actually in the gif.
and in my opinion, the cover you see now is actually a lot worse and doesn't create a message or tell you anything about the album, but i'd rather have two people be undisturbed; they have their own lives and don't deserve some random 16 year old to disturb it.

i'll sail the whole world
just to look for your name
(syrens)

i wanna
just talk mom

you've grown too used to it

don't look into mirrors
when there's nobody around
looking at your skin
what do you see?
what do you seek?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaahhhhhhhhhhh

but i'm still fucked
up in the head! pop out your brains!
so tell me what you want from me
cause i've been texting desperately
just trying to find a solution here
to fix a broken piece of skin
you don't have to call me everyday
i'd just be fine, either way
but know i'm lonely and it hurts
i just want to feel a piece of skin
for now

(everything's a big joke, huh bender?)

memories, you'd like to forget

pulsing memories
taken from a dream
you look just the same
you look just divine
i've seen the light
i've felt a hope
and i saw it
in my dream place

you're sleeping during the day
finding yourself stuck
in a big old loop
are you stuck?

and we
don't get anything from this dream
yet we continue to plead
for another hour in bed
cause we're scared to go further
than we wanna do in this life

(1, 2, 3, 4—1, 2, 3, 4)
wasted memories
saving up my cartridge
wondering why i bothered
to stay here for so long
and now i stand here
looking back at progress
seeing how i gathered
up all my courage to move
and now it's not the same
you've come so far in life now dear
you'll look back and think
"how did i get here?"
but it was always clear
you were just distracted
looking back at pictures
of when you were young then

sleeping during the day / safe

we'll be okay in the end

ahhhhhhh

birds sing by the meadow
you just keep trotting along
with your hooves that you grew
by yourself

wasting time

wasting time

unused part in memories you'd like to forget


oh i just wanna make amends 
before it's all over 
i just wanna see you one last time  

asterisk quotations are left ear and normal is right ear, both ears are overlapping: 
*the death of me* 
the frog croaks in
*was coordinated* 
the wind and i can't live  

and every moment feels the same 
but this one didn't quite add up 
and you woke up in a puddle of blood 
wondering how you got here now 
look at your skin all morphed and warped 
torn and broken you're distraught 
yet there's no times for questions now 
just walk forwards and learn to grow  

i'm abrasive towards myself 
so i'll just leave

and once it's all over / penclimax

'laying in the grass fields' (demo)

horribly mxssy

the faded in intro of wasting time you never heard

instrumental to my ptsd

Bbmaj7 - Dbmaj7 Dbsus2

sounds WAAAYYY too similar to wetdream by willy rodriguez but i like this

brushed for once in my life today
i felt proud yet it all diminished away
and i'll find comfort
in holding you
i feel gross when i watch my face
rot away as i cry about
what i can't have in my
life

ideaa

very very unfinished track

antlergirl dabbles in the minor scale (run)

you never come out of your room
i wonder what you're hiding
and you never seem to respond
to any text i send

and i hear barking from under the door
and i hear bleating from under the door
and i hear whimpers from under the door
and i hear crying from under the door

(bit too fast)

barking from under the door (nov 2024)

where are you?

bad demo whatever mix2

doubt remaster

art by hamsters38

i looked in the mirror today 
and i noticed how much weight i’ve lost when it came to my face
my body feels like its in a decomposing state
i guess skipping all those meals really caught up to me now

my moods all over the place
one day ill be my happiest; next day im depressed
im surprised i managed to even get out of bed this morning
yet ill sleep by the door in the night

i know i’m fucked up and ugly
you don’t have to point it out; it’s not discreet
and all my inner workings are just failing apart
whilst i scream out at the night

and in hindsight: last year was the worst year of my life
i kept telling myself that i was better and matured
twelve year old in the body of a fifteen year old
but reflecting convinced me how disgusting i was

my guard dog is telling me to run away from it all
cause thats all i’ve ever known to do my whole life
all these dumb thoughts and emotions; i hate being a teenager
who’s moody, tired and mentally confused 

i think the future will be full of brighter days
considering all my issues won’t matter in five years time
and maybe ptsd will be glued to my heart
but maybe i’ll also learn to accept what is and not

my brain thinks of a thousand thoughts, every single minute 
and it’s overwhelming to cope with on the daily
i wanna do everything at the same time
but i just end up crashing my car

so i’ll call you at noon: just pick up and talk
and i can forget it all, cause when i’m with you
it seems all my problems just vanish away
and i can finally focus on what is and not

waltz in b minor

This is frutiger aero nepeta purrr I need you to help my frutiger aero world

adelynn

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