this kinda hurts when ur dad never talks to u and is stupid

You captured an unexplainable emotion so well with this. I hope time heals this void that so few people hold within them <3

Some of the songs that I've most enjoyed from different artists over the years or that mean a lot to me.
I tired to organise it in a way that the genres are not too over the place.
Please listen, they deserve it.
Different genres and vibes but 100% good stuff.

I think you should listen

release date January 27 2019
official file <3  found by me
lyrics:

Well would you look at all this shit that I been doing for you
Love, it had me really goin' through it for you
Anything to do, you know I'd do it for you
Ha-Had me on a trip for this shit
I been losing the love, yeah
I been losing the love, woah

Yeah, by myself
I got through it by myself, need no help
I been killing shit regardless of the wealth
Hate a belt, all that Louis, Gucci buckle, it don't help
In my hell, I been had to kill the reup by myself, yeah
Empty bottles, empty baggies on the shelf, yeah
Empty heart, got no soul to make it melt, yeah
In the dark, kill the lights inside the house, yеah
False start, I kept on going by myself, yеah
Aimin' low, bro, you just in need of wealth
Come that winter, you were asking me for me help
If I had known it was like that I wouldn't have come around
If I had known it was like that I wouldn't have helped
Drug, it had me nauseous
Love, it had me cautious
Playin' with my feelings, had to leave to fuckin' stop it
Play me like it's matter, had me feeling like an object
How you feeling sad when you're the one who fuckin' caused it?

Look at all this shit that I been doing for you
Love, it had me really goin' through it for you
Anything to do, you know I'd do it for you
Had me on a trip for this shit
I been losing the love, yeah
I been losing the love, woah

Silence rings, ultraviolent
Eyelids covered in glitter
Buzzin' on my phone, so I got rid of the ringer
I called in a flood, seen them cry at the jeweler
Jetlag from the jetfuel packed, packing glad bag sacks
Man, I feel like a shooter, but I'm not touching the Ruger
Bad bitch on my shit, feel like I've seen it improving
Damn, it's smooth, I got important shit to do
IVN supply me and I eat it like it's food
Stuff two in the leaf and then I lick it for the glue
Sippin' Disaronno and I passenger the coupe
Whip look like a Autobot, crew look like Decepticon
All that shit you wish that you could do, we got it goin' on
Never shoulda dropped me for the petty shit you hangin' on
Girl, you know I know that these the beats you love me singin' on

Look at all this shit that I been doing for you
Love, it had me really goin' through it for you
Anything to do, you know I'd do it for you
Had me on a trip for this shit
I been losing the love, yeah
I been losing the love, woah

losing the love (prod. IVN)

prod. me

rest easy pops<33

dad, can you remember me?
cause i see those eyes are empty
i can't even eve talk with you cause u can't think
pls tell me when you look at me who do you see 
am i still your best buddy?
can u recognize somebody
i feel like ur soul has left
without ur body 
i hate to see u suffering

ever since u've been gone
shit's been different 
i hate myself
and can't take this distance 
been fucking my health 
i can feel the symptoms 
i need fucking help 
but can't face my feelings   

(i been hiding emotions
behind all the drinks
i been hiding emotions
behind all the weed 
people know about this
and still don't talk to me 
i might be fated to 
live the rest of my life all lonely)

dad, can you remember me?
cause i see those eyes are empty
i can't even eve talk with you cause u can't think
pls tell me when you look at me who do you see 
am i still your best buddy?
can u recognize somebody
i feel like ur soul has left
without ur body 
i hate to see u suffering

dad can u remember me?

Nevada V1  (jabarionthebeat X Jelly).mp3

originally performed by sewerperson
produced by ztope
completely non profit

lyrics

she gets high 
every other night
and just cries
girl I'll be with u tonight
im en route
im near the drop off

every day I fuse into one this month
i can't keep control if the speed too much
triple up my fluid on my last good night
i can't even see my fingers front my face in these lights

everything's different than it had been before
unroll my backwoods and break my meteors
friends like this family I never knew before
life on this planet ain't felt this new before 

get by
she gets high
every other night
and just cries
girl I'll be with u tonight
im en route yeah
im around the block
yeah im near the drop off
really got me locked down
im ten down yeah
i cannot stand for this shame
im to proud
im locked up so I kick the door down
locked down
she really got me locked down
guess she know me too well

im bleeding im falling 
im tearing apart
past the andromeda 
im in the stars
one u look down 
on the earth from this far
u can see just how small 
of a person u are

u could stay girl it's cold, 
can u see the lightning?
i just talk then I leave
im not tryna slide in
i distract then I bleed
if she got me hitting
don't get me wrong
we all human
but in uninviting

tell me if I take too long
i just wanna turn u on
turn u on
rip thru the phone book
she grip me by the heart
plenty left me broken
but the way u do it
turns me on
why's this summer so long



locked_ down_ x turn_ u_ on_ (ztope)

lyrics;

Dirt covers the wedding dress
U had married off on the wrong one baby
This act is a mercy death
Its Unlike all I had check off hatefully /
Most of them wont make the pearly gates
But u a angel trapped in purgatory 
The Toy box and the zodiac 
Cant feel love but I do baby
Wine stains on the faux door
Its not Norwegian wood its a glue on I had checked
1817 we had hit the harbour 
I had been alive ever since 20 years before then
Maybe it was how he lived inside the family
Mom comparing him to dad but its demonic
Maybe brother locking him inside the furnace
Taught him evil could exist inside his kinfolk still
Two souls so unlike his had made the life hell
Even with his father now the damage had been dealt
Dirt covers the wedding dress
U had married off on the wrong one baby
This act is a mercy death
Its Unlike all I had check off hatefully
Burn his body up in the furnace fumes
Blame my childhood I was taught what’s the worst of rooms
Chugging vodka to chase the pot now im disconnected
Still its sober memories with humans I dissected
Cross reference the witnesses
They dont know what think its skewed memories
Words of hope from a nihilist
I know, he feeds off the woe for his family
Dirt covers the wedding dress
U had married off on the wrong one baby
This act is a mercy death
Its Unlike all I had check off hatefully /

Mercy Death 142 2 (Eric godlow)

Hopscotch (feat. Sewerperson)

𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐲𝐬𝐨𝐧<3

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊.
come around
ik im a fuck up jus a let down
but we could run away my love, from this town<3
gaze inside her eyes been filled w/ hate now
need 2 stay down
really need sum backup
u know ur the only one i want luv
cant fkn take this aching make my chest numb
you the one i want luv

𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕.
cant even snap back 2 this snapchat
got 80 ounce in this backpack
making lame shit on this old mac
while my friends out in their pontiac
how are you so contagious
holding back on my anguish
'cardi rocks when im anxious
blood n mud on these pages
she dont talk but her eyes flirt
louis v n that black skirt
pulling up in that chrysler
bloody shirt n my chest hurts

𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚣𝚞𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚊. 𝚡 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚕.
come around
ik im a fuck up jus a let down
but we could run away my love, from this town<3
gaze inside her eyes been filled w/ hate now
need 2 stay down
really need sum backup
u know ur the only one i want luv
cant fkn take this aching make my chest numb
you the one i want luv

ep w/ bry soon also~ if you've read this far then thank you all sm for all of the support this past year, and just in general if you listen to any of my stuff. it genuinely means the whole world. ily all sm<3

follow spotify!

let_down w/ residential. (ushanka boy)

produced by speedlmt

lyrics:
before i found u
i was going through hell
oh do you miss me
im still going through hell
i still cant even tell
what its like to be me
she doesent miss me
she doesent miss me


i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

she my bandage
walking through the forest empty handed
blood on my screen
with dirt on my shoes
where have you been
i sorta miss you
well no defiently do 
im shaking in my room
i really hate this house
im shaking in my room
i need a way out
im shaking in my room
im shaking in my room
shaking in my room

i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations
i vanish i go into hibernation
crucify me its isolation
no one will find me 
lost in the pine trees
walk right by me hallucinations

isolation

oh its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore
no its not fair anymore

i just cant tell you enough
my thoughts been opening up
i never said it enough 
my heart was filled with your love

i would sacrifice my love just to be on your side
gimme just another day so that i can reside
while youre waiting at the gates, ill find somewhere to hide

i need somewhere to hide
i know youre in the fields looking at me over the light
if theres a chance that you hear me singing into the night
i need to tell you that ill love you till the end of the line

you know i always cared about you
i might sleep in water hang my head whilel i cry
been 2 years now im lost without you
take me to a forest filled with water and pine

its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore
its not fair anymore

how could you take away my best friend
ive got no one to trust
ill see your face in the end
your words fill my stomach making me who i am
you wouldnt have left me, i know ill see you again

enough

produced by heylog

lyrics:
no one
no faith
spacing
as i lie awake
when i see you then
i promise i won't leave again
woke up in terror, i'm feeling confused
cover my mouth as i just heard the news
how can it be?
how can it be true?
why god, do you take the things i love most
why's it the people who feel like a home
holding back tears
until i let go
facing
toward green
outside, you're all i see
i miss your praise
no matter what, you'd always stay
with me
i need to ease on the brakes
i feel my heart in my chest
i can't control cause it aches
and no one's feeling their best
and i'm not taking it light
you felt like my only friend
who'd be with me through the night
and be with me till the end
and i have so much to say
but at the same time i don't
all of it hurts in a way
that i can't even control
it comes and goes in a wave
and everytime it's unknown
and none of this is okay
i'd rather break every-
following footprints and trails
sunlight shines right through the trees
see beauty in each detail
please say that you're just hiding
no one
no faith
spacing
as i light awake
when i see u then
i promise i won't leave again
facing
toward green
outside, ur all i see
i miss you a lot
one of a kind
and filled with love

spotify

footprints & trails

all i want (cover)
enjoy

lyrics:

all I want is nothing more
to hear you knocking at my door
cause if i could see your face once more
i could die a happy man I'm sure

when you said your last goodbye
i died a little bit inside
i lay in tears in bed all night
alone without you by my side

but if you loved me
why’d leave me?
take my body
take my body
all i wanted
and all i needed
to find somebody
i'll find somebody

like you
you
you
you

cause you brought out the best in me
a part of me i'd never seen
you took my soul and wiped it clean
our love was made for movie screens

but if you loved me
why did you leave me?
take my body
take my body
all I want is
and all I need is
to find somebody
i'll find somebody

like you
you
you
you

all i want (cover)

prod. @nevrfall

why do i even bother
kill me with your gray eyes
leaving me paralyzed
you probably care for someone better
i've been overthinking
crying while i'm writing

foolish of me getting all my hopes up
always first to talk when i should really keep my mouth shut
i know i've been such a burden
you meant so much more to me than any other person

conjure the delusion
every time i see your name 
i skip a beat because it's all in disillusion
tell me what i am now
just a boy to keep you company 
when you're cooped up in your house

ghost me
save me from the trouble
keep me from the struggle
i'm loathing
you're so irreplaceable
i'm easy to replace though
hold onto
everything that you said
echoes on in my head
invest in you
always tend to do this
end up being useless

foolish of me getting all my hopes up
always first to talk when i should really keep my mouth shut
i know i've been such a burden
you meant so much more to me than any other person
issues with attachment
pull me in with every single fraction of a second
could you set me down gently
lay us all out on the table i appreciate the honesty

maybe the lead would taste better than this

[Intro: Nerina Pallot]
A state of grace
Untouched
Untraced
(​notmorgn)

[Chorus: 9TAILS]
Rip from my joints through my spine, toxic (Toxic)
Lines on my back from the time I had slit (I slit)
Still hit my line talkin' 'bout what you missed (What you missed)
I'm seeing signs, I think I'm toxic (Uh; Think I'm so toxic)
Get to the point, you think I'm toxic (I'm toxic)
Out in the snow while the cold wind hits (Wind hits)
I'm all alone walking home, love sick (Walking home love sick)
I should have known I was too toxic (I was too toxic)

[Verse: 9TAILS]
Are you okay? (Ayy)
Tell me, are you okay?
I called every night
I swear that I could hear your phone ring
Close the propane
I don't want the fault drain
Feel the rain, let it leave you with a cold taste—

9TAILS - toxic (prod. notmorgn)

[Intro]
Ayy, ayy
That's 9TAILS shit

[Chorus]
I feel like a zombie
I look like a junkie
I been tryin' every method to get you to love me
I know I'm not stackin' lettuce right now, trust me
You stick with me honey
You'll be grateful you did someday (Grateful one day)

[Verse 1]
I like the pain (Yeah)
Women that give me a love that I can maim (Ayy)
I like the race (Yeah)
All of the purple appear in my veins (In my veins)
Lavender taste (Yeah)
Purple lipstick and a face full of cake
Hit with the wave (Woah)
Try to keep up while I'm claimin' my place (Claimin' my place)
Reach for the sky (Yeah)
Don't overshoot for an early goodbye (See ya)
You'll see a show when you look in my eyes
Minecraft mobs appear in the night (Zombies)
You know that no one can give me the boot
Since there was no one to give me the go (No one)
You know that no one can show me the way
Since there was only one way I could go (One way)
If all I do is flex just know I deserve it (Flex)
Take the pain from in my chest and learn how to preserve it (Pain)
Write my lyrics not your steps 'cause there's no way to learn this
Come at me with triple thread up, I'll put quadruple work in
Big bars, huh, driving fast cars (Vroom, vroom)
Big dope, huh, put us in the stars (Way too high)
I achieve all I could want and then some more (I keep on moving)
Haven't bathed inside it yet I'm chasin' more (Skrrt, skrrt)
Four seats (Yeah) in the Panamera (Porsche)
She like a snack (Nah), straight out of Panera (That bread place)
15 unreleased tracks, quinceañera (A lot of tracks)
All my music tight, like washed hats from new era (Yeah)

[Bridge]
(Yo, you can't lie to me that shit's tight as fuck after you wash it, even with the hat trade thing)
(Yo, I bought like, a Jays hat and shit and like)
SoundCloud beast
(Can't even wear it now that I washed it and shit.. anyways)
Bruce Banner

[Chorus]
I feel like a zombie
I look like a junkie
I been tryin' every method to get you to love me (Ayy, ayy)
I know I'm not stackin' lettuce right now, trust me
You stick with me honey
You'll be grateful you did someday
(Turn that up. I don't know why I said that I'm recording this [?] this shit, whatever)

[Verse 2]
Living like a zombie (Ayy)
All I eat is junk food
Fuck 'em out just show me what those damn Haribo bears do
You said you been eatin' more like you been eatin' cat food
You eat IAMS, I just eat on pussy like I had to
You eat pussy, you a cannibal
Your daily hookup a cantaloupe
I would say I steal your girl, but she's an anime pillow
Word Smith, I'll bend your will
Will Smith, no Willow
All my bars on the cold side
Cold side, no pillow (Woah)
Big fish like a great white
You a small fish like a minnow (Fish)
She give me brain, I return the favour
Six nine, no GUMMO
Got the blicky, uh
Drum, it holds fifty, uh

[Open Verse]

9TAILS - i got a headache (prod. the boy)

happy angelface day!

https://www.instagram.com/jodecisantana
https://www.instagram.com/__angelface1



jodecisantana - roxxy prod. angelface

sleepless bout dis

I'm just a random guy who sometimes has some inspiration and some motivation to do some music related things but it's quite rare tbh

dad can u remember me?

casperrr

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