man how has this been a year ago bruh. literally like 7% of my life has passed since this song came out and it felt like yesterday, wtf

bro u a monsteeeer, love your work 🇧🇷

This one of the few songs that make me cry 😞

shattered window to help
im falling down to my knees
cant pick myself up 
im tripping all in the trees
what do they want more from me
its enough i cant give more
just let me be me (x2)
my heart is so damn torn
just let me be me (x2)

they told me get a grip 
yea im really fucking over it
they told me get this gone
yea im sick of all the fame trips
and i just wanted on but 
i guess im not the A-list
it all feels wrong yea 
they keep me on a wait list
black box white list
cut it out im done with this
detox just walk can you get a fucking grip
yea ill walk yea ill walk yea ill walk
away from it
they told me to get over it
just grow the fuck up

get over it
and get this gone
im sick of all the fame trips
i just want to get on
you will not play me for a fool
not another pawn
let me be me i want on

get this gone (p. dercept)

i thought that i would be okay
all on my own
guess i was wrong
oh well what isn't there to like
except the long
eternal night
don't play pretend i know what you're like
know all your quirks 
how you fantasize
but i guess it's all in my head
like how you said
it's all in my head
(x2)

now i look crazy
and that's one thing i've been feelin' like lately
but i'm okay
at least i think so
nothing's for sure but at least i am here
so
i can't be that bad
at least i think so
i might be lying to myself when i say so
but take my word for it
that's all i ask for
i think i need to ask for some help more

but don't hit me up
even if i look like i need it
cause i don't need it
i'm better off alone
even if that's not what i say so
(oh)
i tend to do that
go back on my word like screw that
i don't think i need help now
and i think that's a lie
but i've made up my mind now

yeah i made up my mind now
(x3)
and i won't look behind now
don't play pretend i know what you're like
know all your quirks 
how you fantasize
but i guess it's all in my head
like how you said
it's all in my head

i thought that i would be okay
all on my own
guess i was wrong
oh well what isn't there to like
except the long
eternal night
don't play pretend i know what you're like
know all your quirks 
how you fantasize
but i guess it's all in my head
like how you said
it's all in my head
(x2)

guess i was wrong

deja vu (whethan + lunamatic + aldn)

prod yungspolier
follow me: https://twitter.com/ghostsocia1

In a dream, and I can't wake up
And I've been stuck in the middle, I've been stuck in a rut
And I've been fucked up, but you already know that
Talking about that let me tell you bout that

In a nightmare, got a lot of friends in the end they won't be there
Demons in my head want me dead, they don't play fair
Why you never play fair?
Why you call me back just to tell me that you don't care?

All my friends, I think they're in my head
All my friends, I think I'm better off dead

Maybe I'm dramatic, just another kid that's too sporadic
And I talk to myself, and I put myself through hell
But I'm too emphatic
And I've been messed up, thinking bout the past I've been messed up
Tell me bout' that, let me tell you right back
Let me fall right back again

Cause time's in a loop, but I'm stuck in a crease
And I've been bitching till' I'm dead and deceased
And I'm eighteen, throw my life in a drain
Cause when the new year comes, No I'll still be the same

In a dream, and I can't wake up
And I've been stuck in the middle, I’'ve been stuck in a rut
And I've been fucked up, but you already know that
Talking about that let me tell you bout that

In a nightmare, got a lot of friends in the end they won't be there
Demons in my head want me dead, they don't play fair
Why you never play fair?
Why you call me back just to tell me that you don't care?

All my friends, I think they're in my head
All my friends, I think I'm better off dead
All my friends, I think they're in my head
All my friends, I think I'm better off dead

stream/buy

nightmare (yungspoiler)

stuck in this feedback loop

written: me & @polar333
prod: @prodbyjoshwa

don't know what u want me to do
what u want me to say
stay stuck in this feedback loop
for the rest of my days

ur trying to save me
stop holding ur breath
way that things have been lately
i'm otw to my death

wipe ur tears, solve ur problems
idk what to do
so close to the bottom
i should try smth new

smth's gotta give
i'm cavin in
cus life's a bitch
n i'm sick of it

if there's no trick to fitting in
ur the best at hiding it

all the bs aside
i tried too many times
to get u out of my mind
idk what is right

too high in my bedroom
in love wit the old u
the one i was close to
before someone closed u

so close to the bottom
waiting on ur texts
idk if i want em
forget about an ex
i already forgot em
jus wanna sign some checks
i don't wanna be forgotten

uh oh, i think we gettin too close
oh no, can we take things slow
i hope it's better days down the road
but u know that ain't how shit goes

wipe ur tears, solve ur problems
idk what to do
so close to the bottom
i should try smth new

smth's gotta give
i'm cavin in
cus life's a bitch
n i'm sick of it

if there's no trick to fitting in
ur the best at hiding it

all the bs aside
i tried too many times
to get u out of my mind
idk what is right

too high in my bedroom
in love wit the old u
the one i was close to
before someone closed u

spotify

hiding it (joshwa)

luh boujee baby never been a fan of the rules

prod. nico horry

hello!
no one is available to take your call at this time
please leave a message after the tone
*beeeeep*

gotta ask myself if i'm really shocked
that u won't pick up the phone
i stg that u treat me like a dog
but u won't throw me a bone
(woof woof)

i feel like i'm outta my mind
cus i could give u what i got but u won't give me the time
ever-changing affirmations, i'm patient
but i been stuck inside my head
feel like i'm locked in a basement with no escape

if u want me to be honest
i don't think that it's fair
if i'm REALLY being honest
i don't think that u care at all
but u wear it all
u got designer on ur back
but u don't share at all
and i'm losin myself
because of who?
u, u, u, u

tell me how it's different
i got nothin to prove
the situation's never changing
and it's bc of u
n i'm dead real like a heart attack
zip me up in a prada bag
is it the money or the drugs
that's got u actin a fool
luh boujee baby 
never been a fan of the rules
paid my tab n i'm tryna go
in our house it don't feel like home

i don't want it anymore
maybe i should head straight for the door

maybe i should
call a cab n get outta the city
i been tryna make my mind
but idk if u wit me
take a couple different pills
i won't care if u forget me
but i've been losin peace of mind
n it's just starting to hit me, like

tell me how it's different
i got nothin to prove
the situation's never changing
and it's bc of u
n i'm dead real like a heart attack
zip me up in a prada bag
is it the money or the drugs
that's got u actin a fool
luh boujee baby 
never been a fan of the rules
paid my tab n i'm tryna go

heart attack (nico horry)

https://li.sten.to/lotus
ig: ripavah

welcome to my life
lyrics:
Lotus, I've been getting better let me show ya
Smash an empty bottle to the dome
I've been feeling like I've grown up
Better than ever cause I'm about to blow up

I've been in my feelings lately but I hate that shit
My situation yeah its dire but I played that shit
I've been feeling like I'm crazy on a tightrope
Reminiscing things that I'll achieve my rivals cant though

I'll say fuck her, sell out shows so she knows she's wrong
Make a million off a sound so I made this song
Yeah I know my fans are coming yeah its been so long
Manifest about the future cause I stayed so strong

Lotus, you know it
I've been on a tangent for a year but I ain't ever fucking show it
I just know my fame is close but I think I've been on the wrong path
Happiness and Adderall, the two things we should all have

You ain't shit yeah you a bitch
I'ma make a jump right to the top then i'ma clinch
Shitty ass artists sign to labels then they're gifted
Imagine what would happen if my music got the same thing

Fuck the poppin sound, and fuck to who's around
I'ma make a wave of other artists with my sound
I wont fix my problems if I don't aim for the ceiling
blacked out drunk, that's a shitty fucking feeling

Fuck you to the past, I'm glad it didn't last
I'ma speed to number one or I'll just fucking crash
I'm glad I'm fucking back just for a while I've had a barrier
Sprouted like a lotus I'll just shout out to my haters

Lotus is strong, lotus is fire
Lotus is weak, lotus is crying
I've been drowning lately listen here's a happy ending
Feeling like a boss, and I'm looking like a real king

Red eyes, feel low
So high, so low
Might cry, oh no
Lotus, blossom

I ain't succeed in a minute
Love this life forever bitch you know I'm not quitting
Avah feels on fire bitch you know that I am winning
Take over my life I wasn't happy where I'm headed, oh shit

I've been in my feelings lately but I hate that shit
My situation yeah its dire but I played that shit
I've been feeling like I'm crazy on a tightrope
Reminiscing things that I'll achieve my rivals cant though

I'll say fuck her, sell out shows so she knows she's wrong
Make a million off a sound so I made this song
Yeah I know my fans are coming yeah its been so long
Manifest about the future cause I stayed so strong

avah

lotus

other platforms

lotus (dercept x ayoley)

w/ @t1gerstar
cover art by @aithuia
prod: me & @aithuia

lyrics:
(polar)
you think im perfect, im not perfect
you think it hurts, but on the surface
its not bad

try and lie and say its worth it
close your doors do i deserve this
its not bad

you love to play
you love to play
and i can tell that
you hate the way
you hate the way
you recognize my
every mistake that i make
its amplified by every word that you say
and im feeling the weight

its not bad

(tigerstar)
tell me all the things you want and i'll try to be that
get rid of and scrap the shit that has no meaning
promise im alright
i'll be good for awhile
until i become someone who you would wanna
save a seat and space for and more cus u want me here
everybody wants that one person they know they can't have
but its really not bad
its just that i made it up in my head and you dont see it

even if the surface says a different thing
if i was really suffering i'd suck it up and say
it's not bad

Im trying not to freak out even though its the worst pain
I can hold your hand and bleed out and i would still say its not bad

surface w/ tigerstar

no more locking your doors when u get scared of the height ⋆୨୧˚૮ ＾ﻌ＾ა˚୨୧⋆

prod/written by me
additional composition by @goodbyex2002
https://twitter.com/evansasha_

cover art taken by athena: @aithuia 
https://twitter.com/aithuiasound

lyrics:
walking outside i see blood on the floor from all the 
things that you hide no more locking your doors when you get
scared of the height see the fear in your eyes 
guess there's nothing to hide nothing to hide

call on the phone you said you know you're not invincible
and i've heard it all no where to go don't make this difficult
a note on your car text on your phone just always know you're not alone
and when we're far were always close those are the things that mean the most

invincible

prod. bev 
lyrics - 
i guess its safe to say that you meant alot
i wasnt trying to fix you
i was trying to fix myself 
i really thought that you would help
wish i could show you how i felt
when you told me go to h*ll
for the past few months been broken hearted
miss your touch, I miss you calling 
go back to the day when our lips first parted 
I’m so sorry,
finish what I started 
for the past few months been broken hearted
miss your touch, I miss you calling 
go back to the day when our lips first parted 
I’m so sorry,
finish what I started
you said you had new man,
tell him finish what I started, 
baby I was waiting, you were playing, you were stalling,
and when I fell, you left me falling
mama told me if you really loved me you would call me
 -
All your love intoxicates 
you made me lose my balance
oh I’m losing faith, I can’t keep up with
with all her lies, I see revenge up in her eyes, 
"go to h*ll I hope you die”
thats what she told me
i 
miss when i would hold you 
really miss the old you, but now my baby’s old news
I been overthinking
should I call,
or should I leave it alone? 
I’m such a mess I need these drugs to keep me way’ from my phone
cant you love me cant you miss me cant you just feel the same?
cant you hug me cant you  kiss me cant you just say my name?
but you dont even think about me theres a hole in my brain
living peacefully without me girl im going insane

finish what i started

certo1k

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